When the lights go out
by codename.penguin
Summary: Erik has been imprisoned and he is pinning all his hopes that Charles will be his way out of his current predicament. The professor rescues an injured Erik from his angry prison guards and despite Erik's mysterious past, chooses to shelter him in the mansion where hopefully more than one type of healing can be found. Present day, alternate universe, no powers.
1. When the lights go out

Chapter one- **When the lights go out**

_Thursday night, some low security prison in New York City._

A tall dark shadow loomed over him where he lay; trying to read his book from what little light could be had from the corridor.

'Last chapter Harry,' Erik promised absentmindedly, not bothering to roll over to address the guard.

The prisoner's body stiffened as the silence stretched on.

Harry was a notorious, cheerful chatterbox.

'Can't sleep Lehnsherr?' a soft seductive voice came from the other side of his prison cell. 'I'm sure I can find a way for you to work off that extra energy.'

With a flat sigh of frustration he rolled over to face his occasional tormentor, 'As I have told you before, Officer Pratt, I am not interested in your offer, tonight or any night.'

Erik's least favourite prison security guard leered at him; excitement shining in his eyes at his dismissive answer.

'I really like the way you talk. So correct, so…..cultured,' his aggressor cooed. 'I can imagine how it would sound when …when you are not so in control'

The man's eyes raked over Eric's lean six foot plus frame, no doubt undressing him with his eyes. With a sudden violent movement, the guard pushed his arms through the bars as if trying to make a grab for the other on the bed. Naturally he was stopped by the same metal that kept Erik caged.

Through it all, Erik remained motionless with a bored look plastered on his chiseled face but on the inside his stomach clenched. He wasn't afraid but the powerlessness he felt tore at his mind. After all Erik had survived in the camps, he would NOT be broken...not by some obese, coarse, common prison guard. A part of him had died in that courtroom when the judge had handed down a seven year sentence for financial fraud. SEVEN years! Even the ubiquitous loiterers and reporters in the courtroom had incredulously muttered over that one as the judge banged his gavel for silence.

'Erik Lehnsherr, from where I sit I can see that you have never done anything useful with your life and you don't intend to. I hereby sentence you to the maximum time for your crime.'

Bang bang went the gavel and his albeit pathetic excuse of a life had vanished.

Pratt, realizing that his fresh attempts to get a response from his beautiful prisoner were falling flat, swore loudly, 'Some day you are going to regret not being more grateful. But I'll come see you tomorrow night, maybe even bring you something nice from the kitchens. Cook says you like vanilla.'

With one last parting whack of his night stick on the bars, Pratt sauntered off.

'Pssst, Lehnsherr …you okay?' a soft worried voice floated across from a cell opposite. Erik stood up and walked over to the bars so that he could whisper back his response.

'Matt? Yes…go back to sleep.'

'Geez, Erik…Pratt has it in for you! We should tell someone.'

Erik lips curled up slightly at the edges. He never imagined he would find someone that cared in prison.

'We could tell Harry,' Matt suggested when Erik made no response. 'He's a good guard…and …and I would back you up. Ned...Ned you awake? Did you hear Pratt harassing Erik again?'

Ned pelted a hairbrush at the bars to underline his annoyance at being disturbed.

'I a'int hear nutten,' was the other prisoner's crabby response, 'and you should keep your mouth shut about stuff like this.'

Erik could just imagine the flabbergasted expression on Matt's innocent face. Looking at the young man, you wondered how he ever worked up the gumption to commit a crime.

'ARE you CRAZY!' the boy hissed out, 'Pratt wants to …he wants Erik.'

Erik turned his back on the conversation and slowly slid down the bars to sit on the cold concrete floor.

'I don't know Matt,' Ned finally offered. 'I think Erik is into that sort of thing.'

'Erik ISNT into RAPE! He's a good guy!'

'No, I don't mean …'

'Alright quiet DOWN!' Pratt yelled down their corridor, 'Don't make me come over there.'

Silence reigned.

Matt was right, Erik thought to himself. Well not about him being a good guy but about the fact that he had to do something. He had to get out of here; if not to get away from Pratt's unwanted advances but for his own sanity. He barely survived being a prisoner the last time so long ago when he was just a boy. And he couldn't fall apart now; he still had a mission to accomplish. He was so close!

'So close, Mama', he whispered softy into the dark shadows of his cell.

Very quietly he pulled out the letter he had been carrying around in his breast pocket for the last couple of days. The creases were well worn which indicated that it was repeatedly read.

Even though he knew the words by heart but just seeing it once again, filled him with warmth on this dreary cold night. Like the first time that he read the letter, he had broken into a rare genuine smile when he saw all the exclamation points decorating the page. To think that there was anyone out there who was so excited about teaching.

April, 2012.

Good day Mr. Lehnsherr,

I was so pleased to receive your reply to my letter! I would be most happy to assist you in your preparations for your high school equivalency and beyond! However, do not think for one moment we are going to stop with a simple certificate! When the prison board faxed us your aptitude scores, the entire university Psychological unit was buzzing. It is unbelievable to think you have had no formal schooling! I consider it an honor to assist you in finding a new path. This is only the beginning my friend.

I will be there on Friday evening.

I am yours,

Charles Xavier.


	2. Calm your mind

Chapter 2- **Calm your mind**

'By golly, you ARE a tall one!' Charles exclaimed as Erik entered the small prison library.

The prisoner-turned-student hesitantly came closer, unsure why his new teacher was beaming at him like a rising sun. Nervously he smoothed his short cropped hair and then his face, which he had neatly trimmed and shaved by the barber that morning. He wanted to look as respectable as he could for his first study session. Well as respectable as someone could look, dressed in a bright maroon prison suit.

In contrast, the younger man's long hair flopped over to one side as he energetically sprang to his feet and proceeded to pump Erik's outstretched hand up and down like an old fashioned water pipe.

Xavier looked like an absentminded professor in the making what with his tweed suit and elbow patches topped of with about twelve different coloured pens, peeking out from his breast pocket.

'Charles Xavier. I am your servant,' he supplied enthusiastically with a pleasing English accent.

The other man nodded dumbly, taken aback by such an affable display of good will and cheer. He should have expected it reflecting on the Professor's letter writing style but thinking it and experiencing the other man's excitement were two different issues.

'Erik Lehnsherr,' he replied, with a shallow bow.

The less he said the better he thought. Erik wanted to make a good impression especially as he hoped that his supposed 'academic prowess' would coax the teacher in being a strong character witness for any parole hearings in the future. To put it bluntly Erik didn't have anyone else to ask.

The taller man took the chair that the other man had so courteously pulled out for him. He made a mental note to do so for the younger man, next time.

He stared as Xavier hurried around to sit on his side of the desk. Finally with hands clasped infront of him, his teacher leaned forward with his smile firmly still in place.

He was a bit too close for comfort but Erik ignored the instinct to pull back and regain personal space. He had stenciled the words "make a good impression" on the wall next to his bunk and he was going to do so even if it killed him.

As it was he didn't think it was going to be too hard. It was obvious that Xavier was determined to be pleased, no matter how his student reacted.

Erik returned the smile. He hoped he did it alright. He was a bit rusty and many people said it made him look positively creepy.

'Thank you for coming, Professor Xavier,' he began.

His teacher had startling blue eyes. It was a bit unsettling to look directly into them.

The shorter man waved his hands with a quiet laugh, 'Good Lord! You're older than me. Please call me Charles. May I call you Erik?'

The wary prisoner smiled again without thinking.

Two smiles in less than a minute. Whatever condition afflicted Xav…no Charles...was catching.

'I would be honoured,' Lehnsherr offered graciously.

'Splendid,' the other replied cheerfully, 'splendid!'

Leaning back he opened his bulging brief case of books and papers. Methodically he began to stack the material into little piles while Erik raised a curious eyebrow.

'Don't you …don't you have stuff you want to ask me?' the older man asked hesitantly.

Charles head was deep in another sack so his reply was a bit muffled.

'Not particularly,' the bright-eyed man repeated once he had emerged from its depths, 'Do you want to tell me something?'

Erik's lips compressed in faint annoyance. All week, he had prepared and rehearsed a list of questions and answers. He was sure that a do-gooder like Xavier would want to know all about his crime so that he could try and fix him, just like the prison chaplain tried every Sunday. He had recited sample questions all morning, wanting to be in control of any query, hoping as such all his best attributes would be highlighted and any nasty ones swept to the side.

This was not going the way he expected.

'This is not going the way I expected,' he confessed.

Erik mentally slapped himself in the face. Did he just say that out loud?

Charles had stilled his motions at this criticism. Now that he had ceased moving about like an agitated humming bird, Erik suddenly realized how small the man before him was. He looked almost frail in comparison to his bulk.

'I like your accent,' the professor commented unexpectedly, fidgeting with a pencil sharpener between his thin fingers. 'It is obvious that you are a foreigner but for the life of me I can't place it. Is it European?'

The room felt like if it was suddenly plunged into an ice bucket.

Erik's face paled, which was quite a feat, considering how light his skin already was.

'Eastern Europe,' he croaked out.

Why did Xavier pick the one thing he didn't like talking about!

Charles' brow furrowed at his emotional response and he pinned Erik with his direct laser blue eyed gaze. The other man felt like if his teacher's eyes were boring into his skull, reading his thoughts, which was ridiculous of course.

'You're staring,' Erik hit out, trying to derail the tense moment and at the same time pull himself together.

A gentle blush filled the Professor's face but he didn't drop his eyes. Instead a look of deep compassion softened his expression.

'Please Erik, you must calm your mind,' he commanded almost serenely. 'I have an interest in Biology, might I suggest we start there and we can work away around to different topics.'

Erik looked down blindly at the text book that the man had opened and pushed in his direction.

Looks could be deceiving. For all his fragility, it was the professor whose strength had calmed the moment.

'Thank you,' the older man muttered softly, looking down at a diagram of a labeled plant, immensely grateful for a change in topic.

Had he blown it! No…maybe? This wasn't happening! Think Lehnsherr, you've run a million con jobs...THINK!

As Charles offered a fresh notebook to his distracted student, he rapped Erik's knuckles lightly with a pencil to regain his attention.

'I can hear your brain ticking a mile a minute from all the way over here. Focus my friend,' he chastised without any heat, 'as with everything worth doing or having, let us start at the beginning.'

After a moment of silent contemplation, Erik raised his eyes to the other's face and this time he didn't feel as though his only option was to look away.


	3. Choices

For Shorty McGee, hope it satisfies the cravings.

And for all my other readers and reviewers, there is a wonderful youtube video with Charles/Erik. Just google "youtube rolling in the deep xmen".

Chapter 3- **Choices**

_Friday night_

'Well for want of a better word, it was surreal,' Lehnsherr confessed to the ceiling in his cell.

Following the session, he had immediately begun working on all the worksheets that the Professor had instructed him to complete for Monday. He had the weekend to get it all done but he really needed something to busy his mind. The whole encounter with the young man had left him feeling off balance.

Thankfully, the worksheets had captured his complete attention. Charles was right. Even though he possessed the knowledge getting it out of his head and compressing them into short distinct answers for test taking would take some practice. It was mortifying that he couldn't do something that American teenagers did everyday. Disappointed and fretful, he covered his hands with his face. He didn't know how he would be ready for this exam that was only a month away!

Charles had patted his clenched fist sympathetically, reassuring him that he wasn't the only person that felt that way. In return, Erik had pinned him with a glare looking for any lie in the other's blue eyes but he could see none. All he saw was complete confidence and determination for the weeks ahead.

With a sigh the prisoner flopped over on to his stomach.

Erik didn't like situations like this. Being indebted to anyone made him feel tense. He quite liked knowing upfront exactly what the other person wanted from him. As a career criminal one tended to stay alive longer that way. Erik didn't have much experience with relationships that were fueled by purely altruistic motives and Charles seemed to have no greater joy in life than teaching him. What he appreciated the most was the mutual sharing of ideas that Xavier insisted on. Erik knew that the other man was a university professor of some sort but inspite of this superiority in status; he didn't try to force his ideas down his throat. A freedom people took far too much for granted, in Erik's opinion.

Charles was just so ….so damned nice!

Erik hadn't decided as yet if he found this surprisingly refreshing or plain nauseating.

In the meantime, he wished he could do something for the young man, something in kind for the three days a week two hour tutor sessions he had so cheerfully signed up for. The evil part of his personality had suggested that he give the short Englishman some fashion pointers.

As he punched his pillow into a more comfortable shape, his mind once again meandered back towards the young Professor. He must certainly be hard pressed if he was looking for friendship from a convicted felon but he could see the interest there in his eyes and his manner. Maybe in another life…one where monsters like Sebastian Shaw didn't exist, they could be friends. Lehnsherr truly admired the serenity of Charles temper and the quickness of his mind but there was just no place right now for someone like him in Erik's life. No place for someone so innocent and pure in his fantasies of vengeance and blood. Oh for the love of ….why was he still thinking about the man?

Gah!

Xavier was a means to an end!

He forced his eyelids to close, beckoning the fickle god of sleep to come quickly.

In the meantime, on some deserted stretch of road leading from the prison, the man Erik Lehnsherr had been trying to stop analyzing, pulled over to the shoulder and switched off his car's engine.

For awhile Charles sat there in the cool darkness, staring out the glass without seeing and then with a small moan, he collapsed forward on the steering wheel.

'I am such a shit!' he declared passionately.

Without looking up he grabbed his phone and speed dialed his associate at the university.

'Hank? I am such a shit,' Charles confessed once again.

He heard a warm, friendly chuckle on the line.

'How did it go?' Hank McCoy asked with a roll of his eyes at this dramatic proclamation.

Xavier thumped his head on the steering wheel.

'It was an unmitigated DISASTER!' he answered with another groan of despair.

Thump. Thump.

'Huh? What did he do?'

'It wasn't him it was me. He was …'

The Englishman thumped his head again not wanting to complete the sentence.

'He was what?' Hank prodded anxiously. He was starting to get a little worried. Had this Lehnsherr character done something to upset his gentle friend?

'He was just perfect,' Charles whispered back through the phone.

The professor squeezed his eyes shut just imagining the look of disbelief on Hank's face right now.

'So when you mean perfect, you mean…?' the other man fished carefully.

'I was so stunned the only thing I could think to say was by golly you are tall.'

The professor's blue eyes narrowed into angry, thin slits as Hank roared with laughter.

'This is not funny, Hank! It must be fifty shades of illegal for a teacher to have a hard on while conducting a tutorial.'

'Description!' Hank demanded eagerly.

Charles leaned his head back to lay it on the headrest.

'How about you take over all his classes come Monday and you can see for yourself,' he interjected hopefully.

'Oh boy,' his friend replied. 'That wouldn't work. You and I like the same types of guys so if you like him I am going to be attracted to him too.'

Hank looked worriedly at his phone as the silence stretched out.

Shit.

'Charles, are you crying?'

A little sniff on the line confirmed his suspicion.

'Charles, take it easy. You've been working really hard. Try and relax this evening. I'll come by and we can go see a movie or something.'

More silence.

'And it is not illegal! He's not some under aged kid. Didn't you say he was older than you?'

Another pathetic little sniff.

'Its okay to feel attracted to him, you're only human. It's more important what you decide to do with those emotions. You can choose to JUST be his teacher.'

A worried huff of exhaled air whooshed across their connection.

'So is he gay?'

It was the professor's turn to roll his eyes.

'Would you believe old chap…it slipped my mind to ask?' he retorted sarcastically.

'… don't get your pantyhose in a bunch. This Lehnsherr guy really must be something!'

Charles head connected with the steering wheel again with another resounding thump.

Perfectly delicious.


	4. Date night

**Anote:** Tried to make a little longer for one of my reviewers and to answer your question if I just use their first or last name, then those are just supporting characters to the story eg. Matt, Ned, Officer Pratt and if I give both first and last eg. Hank McCoy, then you know they are from the Xmen–verse.

I also have major work deadlines but I will post as soon as I can. Thanks to everyone who has favourited and put my work on their story alerts.

Chapter 4- **Date night**

With a pleased sigh, Erik crossed his last T with a dramatic flourish and looked at the clock on the wall.

Damn it!

He was seven minutes over the time.

God…he was going to fail.

Ridiculous! He had never failed anything in his life.

As he sat there twirling his pencil in between his fingers, he realized that wasn't completely true but he pushed the thought quickly from his mind. After years of practice, he could side step that particular memory without too much effort. Dwelling on those thoughts were for when he was alone when no one else was there to watch.

Speaking of being alone, Erik once again looked at the closed door of the library. Charles was late.

Almost two weeks had past since they started their sessions. The professor's enthusiasm had thankfully calmed down to something easier to deal with but it had been replaced with a quiet sort of sadness and after a while, Erik seriously began to wonder if something was wrong. He had tried to exert himself in the sessions to ask interesting questions and sometimes that seemed to reanimate the young Englishman but too soon the man would relapse into his own thoughts. It is not that Charles didn't speak but the connection that had flared so brightly on their first meeting wasn't there any more.

Erik was surprised to admit even to himself that he felt as though he had misplaced something important. Since he needed to move around from place to place very quickly and unexpectedly this feeling was completely out of character for him.

Focus Lehnsherr, he berated himself.

The prisoner closed his books for a moment and retrieved a large folder from his bag. So intently was he studying the contents that he failed to hear his teacher until Charles placed a small hand on his shoulder.

'S. Shaw?' the young man asked with a curious smile.

Very calmly Erik closed his folder so as to not attract suspicion.

'Research for a book I am writing,' he lied easily as he stood to hold out a chair for the other man.

Charles took the seat with a quiet thank you.

'Fact or fiction?' he pressed energetically, bright blue eyes eagerly staring at the material in Erik's hand as if willing it to pop open.

The professor had an uncanny gift of zeroing on matters that Erik wished he wouldn't.

He pushed the folder back in his bag without replying. The older man could see Charles wilting under such an obvious snub and he was sorry to be the cause of it this time.

'I am sorry to be so late, but I got held up in a meeting,' the young teacher offered as way of explanation when it became obvious that his student was not going to share any further information. He had already snagged the question paper that Erik had been working on and was perusing it with a furrowed brow.

'Still a little too wordy,' he criticized gently. 'Did you run out of time again?'

The way Erik uncharacteristically slouched over the table gave him his answer.

'What the devil is that?' the taller man suddenly asked incredulously, staring at his Professor in some surprise.

The young man groped for a pen in his jacket pocket. 'My apologies, it's just my stomach protesting my decision to skip lunch.'

Erik scowled as the disturbing, odd, gurgling sounds rumbled again, this time more loudly perhaps sensing that they had a found a more sympathetic audience to their pleas.

'I will get something tonight,' the younger man added absentmindedly, crossing off the unnecessary paragraphs in the answer page.

Startled, Charles jumped as Erik ripped the paper from his hand. 'Get up. This is not a discussion.'

He made a quick grab for his belongings as it appeared that his student was quite prepared to bodily pick him up and march him from the library, if he moved any slower.

'ERIK! Can we just walk around like this?' Charles exclaimed anxiously, glancing around sure that a gaggle of security guards was going to come pounding down the corridor at any moment.

This elicited a snort of derisive laughter from the taller man.

'You watch too much television Charles,' he replied with a curl of his lip. 'This is a minimum security prison.'

The Englishman hugged his briefcase to his chest with a little huff. How was he supposed to know?

'We even have shuffleboard every other night,' the older man offered in a sneering can-you-believe-it tone of voice.

As was in his nature, Charles was busy looking around at everything and everybody that was on their path. If not for Erik's firm grip on his elbow, the man would have unknowingly stumbled five or six times and walked into a dustbin before they reached their destination. He observed curiously as various inmates tried to say hello but Erik was like a man possessed.

Finally they stopped.

'And what do we have here?' the woman who was obviously one of the cooks, inquired with a frown over her steaming pots and pans.

Charles swallowed hard and tried to hide behind his student as she folded her massive arms across an equally large chest.

Mercilessly Erik dragged him forward.

'Charles Xavier, specialist in human genetics, my volunteer teacher and quite possibly the nicest man on the planet,' Erik deadpanned.

'ERIK!' his companion exclaimed with embarrassment and a bright blush.

'What? You are,' the taller man responded in all seriousness. 'Millie, do you have any of the dinner already started? The genius skipped lunch.'

The sympathetic woman made tut tut noises of disapproval and quickly prepared a plate of whatever was already available.

Soon the young man was looking down at a mountain of food in silent horror, too flabbergasted to even move.

Erik, misinterpreting his companion's inaction, grabbed one of the plastic sporks from the container and stuck it in the huge mound of mashed potatoes where it comically stood at attention like a candle in a cake.

'What's wrong now?' Erik inquired exasperatedly, when the man made no attempt to lift the plate.

'There is no way I can eat all of this,' the smaller man admitted in a whisper to the other man. 'I am not even sure I can lift the tray.'

Erik breathed in deeply not wanting to say something scathing or hurtful to the smaller man. Holding on to his temper had never been one of his stronger attributes but Charles' expression seemed so much lighter and happier now, than in the last couple of times they were together. Erik wanted this change to stay for as long as possible.

Gesturing to the cook for an extra plate, the older man lifted the entire tray himself and nudged the professor towards a little two-seater just next to the little scraggly garden one of the inmates was trying to get started. Now that Erik had scraped away half the food, Charles felt his appetite return and he dug in with gusto.

'Do you even exercise?' his student asked curiously, observing him in a new light.

The professor swallowed some of his orange chicken. It was quite good, better than he expected for prison food.

'Of course I exercise!'

Erik raised a doubtful eyebrow at his defensive tone of voice.

'Well no, not really,' he replied truthfully this time. 'Can't seem to find a spare moment and I am a bit rubbish at most sports to be honest.'

Erik felt a little pang of unease, wondering if these prison visits were stretching the endurance of the younger man even more.

'A little fresh air and activity will open your appetite all the way. You're so thin I could snap you like a chicken bone,' he stressed forcefully trying to get his teacher to see reason.

Charles waved his spork vigorously almost nailing Erik with a glob of gravy, 'Don't say that. You sound like my grounds man.'

'Your what?'

'Grounds man, a person who tends the garden.'

Huh?

'You should fire him and do the work yourself,' the older man offered, folding his hands across his chest to lean back more comfortably in his plastic chair, 'instant solution.'

He wondered why the Englishman was smiling.

In the silence that followed Charles kept his eyes on his plate not wanting the other man to see the rush of pleasure on his face.

Who knew Erik cared so much?

Over and over he replayed the events of the last few minutes, committing to memory the way the other man had masterfully swept him along the path, worry and concern etched all over his handsome features. It had been wonderful being so close to him; to feel the heat radiating off his chest from where he had stood in the circle of Erik's open embrace as he was introduced to the cook. He could still feel the butterflies in his stomach and the heat skittering across his skin from their close encounter. It was just a harmful indulgence! He shushed the part of his brain that frowned at these fantasies.

Dare he sneak a quick peek just to see what his companion was doing? Was Erik watching him even now as he made his way through his vegetables?

'Hey Lehnsherr! Who's you're date?' an inmate yelled crudely from across the open space.

Charles naturally flinched and looked up quickly sensing danger.

He thought his heart would stop right there because Erik WAS looking at him as he ate. Their eyes collided and he couldn't bear to look away from the grey green depths. Would YOU look away if the cutest guy in the room was watching you?

As it was his student didn't seem at all fazed by the suggestive question and without breaking eye contact, Erik gracefully flipped the other man the finger, 'Jealously doesn't suit you, Cooper.'

These actions caused everyone within sight to burst into raucous laughter including Cooper.

'Don't be afraid,' Erik reassured him in a soft voice. 'They mean nothing by it. You are not in any danger.'

A shy smile full of wonder suffused the professor's entire face, 'Thank you for taking care of me.'

His student waved aside the statement, 'It's the least I could do for all you are doing for me. I am so grateful you are here because I needed you so badly.'

Unsurprisingly Charles blushed to the roots of his long brown hair.

With a curious look, Erik leaned forward and placed his elbows in the table, 'I don't mean to sound critical but you blush quite readily for a man.'

Well that was interesting. Erik was sure he had never seen a blush on top of a blush.

He pushed out his chair and pretended to tie his shoelaces so that Charles could have a moment to pull himself together and also so that he could hide his wicked smirk. He didn't want his teacher to throw up mental walls, which might happen if he laughed in the man's face because it was obvious to him now that his professor was a sensitive soul. It was endearing in an adorkable sort of way that Charles had such an open and trusting personality. Part of him wondered though if he was not secretly jealous. As a child Erik could remember being like that, more passionate and expressive but his experiences during the war had hardened his heart to the consistency of steel.

However, Erik was glad he had taken the time to school his features into an emotionless mask because as he rose up from under the table, the sight of Charles exchanging pleasantries with a clearly confused and curious Officer Pratt, would have most likely choked him to death


	5. Hard decisions

**Author's note**: I will post again next weekend. Please send me suggestions and comments.

Chapter 5- **Hard decisions**

'Lehnsherr?'

'Pratt.'

Charles eyes zoomed between them because only a blind man could not see the tension radiating off the two men.

'Who's this?' the prison officer pointed to the Professor with a thick finger. 'You've never had a visitor in the two years that you have been here.'

Breathe. Breathe. Finesse your way out of this situation Erik commanded himself. There was no need for violence even though for some bizarre reason he felt the need to rearrange Pratt's face.

'Must be my lucky day then,' he replied obscurely.

The ball was back in the Officer's court and anxiously the prisoner waited for the next play. He could see the wheels turning in the man's head obviously wondering who Charles was and assessing his importance.

For a brief second, Erik's eyes flicked to his teacher and he was a bit impressed to observe that the man had returned to his plate and was slowly, if not unnecessarily, slicing his orange chicken into smaller bits. Charles was not as clueless as he sometimes appeared to be. It was exactly what Erik would have done if their positions were reversed.

Good man.

His eyes refocused on Pratt who had opened his mouth to ask another question, when Erik suddenly realized that there was a God as the dinner bell went off and inmates began streaming in from around the prison.

His fellow block mates Matt and Ned with other curious onlookers in tow swarmed around them, wanting to be introduced to the oddly dressed stranger. Before long, Charles was in the middle of an eager knot of prisoners who, fascinated by his pristine English accent and his ability to discuss the latest political situation in the Senate as well as the new X-box games, crowded all the nearby tables.

At this Pratt looked on sourly, but after observing the utter look of boredom on Erik's face and the way he nonchalantly walked away to get his own dinner, the Officer felt more certain. He was still looking at his favourite prisoner's back as he chatted lightly with the cook, when Pratt felt someone watching him.

The stranger's blue eyes were indeed very odd; they were almost electric in their intensity. With a nod of his head to the man, the officer moved on with his rounds.

Charles was glad when he saw his student returning with his own dinner plate. The animosity that the prison officer had projected had been very disturbing, but having Erik close by calmed him and the encounter soon faded from his mind. He turned to listen to another inmate inquire about recent Caucus elections when suddenly, he felt Erik tuck his long legs under their table. The young man almost jumped out of seat as their limbs got tangled together.

This is what happens when you indulge in all these fantasies, Charles berated himself. You can't keep a straight face when he so much as looks in your direction far less for when you accidentally touch!

For a second, the man had let his heart hope but no, obviously Erik had to pull his legs under the small space just to avoid the crowd around their table. As a consequence, the professor had to work hard to keep a neutral face as Erik settled into position, choosing to lightly capture one of Charles' legs between his own as the best way to get them all to fit.

The older man didn't join any of the talk, but the warmth of his knee just grazing the inside of the Englishman's thigh ensured that he wasn't far from Charles' thoughts. Not that it mattered; it had been that way for the last two weeks. Always Charles could feel his student's presence lapping at the edge of his mind but with this impromptu dinner, Erik was quickly searing himself a place in the middle of his forehead.

Oh god, please help me, Charles thought to himself in panic.

Part of Charles wanted to run from the magnetic pull of this man who was calmly chewing his broccoli, and the other part of him couldn't dream of being anywhere else.

Ah the insanity of lust at first sight!

As the dinner hour came to a close, the professor smilingly shook many different hands as the inmates said their goodbyes and drifted away to their own areas. Soon teacher and student were alone again.

Charles was tired.

He had a hard day of back to back meetings, Erik had taken his emotions on a roller coaster ride and to end it all, he had been tracking and participating in at least five different conversations for the past thirty minutes. After a while he realized that perhaps he was being poor company, but he didn't think he had within him to discuss anything else.

Just thinking those thoughts led him to stifle a huge yawn behind his hand. It was quite pleasant here in this little corner of the prison, with the sun starting to just go down over the mountains. He had just eaten a good meal and was enjoying the warmth and silent companionship of a good pupil, one that he someday hoped to call a good friend. Charles couldn't think of a better way for the day to end. Well he could, but he was NOT letting his mind meander down that forbidden path!

He and his fellow university colleague Hank had discussed the situation at length, and it was decided that the Professor would see Erik through to the exam in the next two weeks. After that, they would arrange to get another teacher to supervise further studies and Xavier would act in an advisory capacity. In any case their prisoner turned scholar seemed to have an absolute flair for numbers and finances, topics that Charles didn't have much expertise with at all.

The professor had agreed in theory with the decision, but inside his heart twisted because it meant that he wouldn't get to see Erik as much as before. However, it just wasn't ethical to put Erik in such a position. Charles had all the power in their relationship and it wasn't Erik's fault that his teacher wanted to 'jump his bones'. Hank had stressed that with this new arrangement, Charles could work on building a friendship with the other man, one in which they could talk, agree or argue, without Lehnsherr feeling that any threat real or imaginary hung over his head.

Charles still hated the idea with a passion! How could any idea where he saw less of Erik EVER be a good idea?

'I have something for you,' the older man announced unexpectedly as he pushed his finished dinner to one side.

Surprised, Charles looked up from where he had been sleepily been staring at the ground. In the silence of the moment, he again wondered at the sheer unlikelihood that he would ever feel such a strong attachment to a man who had a prison address. However, he almost whimpered out loud when Erik untangled their legs to reach across for his bag on a seat opposite. He didn't have to move! He would have gladly reached for the bag himself.

The older man searched in its depths for a moment before pulling out what looked like a homemade CD. With a curious, hesitant smile the professor took the proffered gift.

'Just some stuff I listen to from the library and I thought you might like it too,' the older man offered. 'I know it isn't much.'

Erik had made him something! Cheese on toast! Charles felt his heart melt into a puddle of goo as he read the listing on the jacket, written in the other man's strong handwriting.

'Thank you. This is very nice, but is there some occasion I am not familiar with?' Charles mentally groped for the date in his mind.

Erik gave him an annoyed look of disbelief. 'I just wanted to say thank you for spending so much time on my studies.'

The pleased smile that was plastered on Charles' face vanished and with a snap he closed the plastic jacket of the CD case. For a moment he ogled his student with a look akin to fear and astonishment. Had Erik figured him out? No, impossible. He had been very careful to remain professional at all times.

'Erik, listen to me now. I am your teacher, it is my duty to teach and you as the student need only learn. That is all. I appreciate this gift for the hard work and thought you have bestowed on it and I accept with pleasure, but I want you to look at me and tell me that you know that you need not …offer me presents.'

The older man leaned back in his chair and propped his head up in one hand to stare into the earnest and worried face of his professor. What was this all about? The smaller man had certainly gotten some strange ideas in his head, somewhere within the last five minutes. He never for one moment thought that his teacher was capable of abusing the power of his office over him unlike some of the prison associates, like Pratt. But it was damned decent of the other man to voice these thoughts out loud, so that there would be no confusion. For someone with such a jaded outlook on life, Erik could still acknowledge on some level in his mind, that his teacher was a man of a rare quality. It would appear that the decision Erik had made during the dinner hour, was going to be even harder to carry out.

'You're a good man Charles,' he replied softly. 'Accept it for the gesture of friendship as it was meant.'

Their attention was broken by a loud tone over the PA systems. 'Warning bell,' the older man cautioned hustling to his feet. 'I have to get inside within the next ten minutes.'

Quickly, they started gathering their things. Charles was a little shocked that their time had gone so quickly today but the prisoner was pleased. He didn't know how much longer his strength would hold. Each passing minute, as the professor continued to demonstrate such unselfish kindness eroded at his resolve. In contrast, as Charles hurried to keep pace with Erik's much longer stride he grimaced inwardly, knowing that if Erik knew about all the fantasies he had about him, all the role playing day dreams, he wouldn't say he was a good man. Soon they reached a junction in the path, where one arm would take Charles through administration and out to the parking lot, and the other would carry Erik back to the prison blocks.

'I don't have much time Charles but I wanted to tell you I have made a decision,' Erik interjected seriously, as he swung his black knapsack carelessly on one shoulder. 'I am not going to write the exam. It's too soon, I will never be ready.'

The younger man didn't even blink. He hadn't been a teacher for a very long but he had been a student for most of his life.

'That's just nerves talking,' he assured looking up into the taller man's face. Darkness had swooped down quickly with the evening and all around them the harsh orange outdoor electric lights were flickering to life. 'I will be in the room with you. You are going to be fine.'

Erik looked around them quickly and seeing no-one, he gently grabbed the man's elbow to nudge the professor off the path into a pool of darkness.

'I will take the test when next it comes around,' Erik insisted in a harsh whisper.

'If I didn't think you would be ready, I wouldn't let you do the test in the first place,' Charles volleyed back in a soft voice. 'What has come over you?'

His teacher reached up to tap Erik's hand, which had begun to squeeze his elbow almost painfully. The older man released the appendage.

'Nothing has come over me,' he replied in a careless tone, trying to keep Xavier from the truth. 'You are reading more into my answer than there really is, just like how you did when I gave you the music awhile ago.'

The smaller man's piercing blue eyes stared into his and as Erik tried not to flinch, there was a shrill voice in his head warning him not to underestimate the tenacity of the younger man, who unlike most people in this life, wore his strength so lightly.

Charles took one step closer.

'I have never gotten the impression that you are a person who easily gives up,' the teacher responded slowly as if still turning the matter over in his mind, reaching for the right words to convince his student. 'My sense of you now is that you are afraid of something, which is inexplicable to me as you are one of the most confident people I know. Control your emotions, Erik. This is your future. Show some blasted spine!'

Erik growled low in his throat and instinctively crowded the other man, attempting to make him back down from a surprising display of aggression on his part.

But Charles wasn't having any of it. 'The next exam is six months away. You told me your parole hearing is coming up before that. Don't you want the certificate in your file? Do you LIKE being the only genius level offender inside this minimum security prison?'

For the love of …why was Charles making this so hard?! A part of him knew why and it dawned on him as they stood there in the darkness. Despite the lunacy of the situation, the well respected professor and a prison drifter from no-where were becoming fast friends and this is what friends did, they looked out for one another. But that is exactly why he had to get Charles to stay away. Erik didn't really know how Officer Pratt would react when he found out about Erik's attempts to get approval for early release. The man had never offered him any real violence, just some vague threats. Erik was quite prepared to risk his own safety but not anyone else's and certainly not Charles'.

Erik stepped back on the path and the professor could see the determination etched on his face. 'Good or bad, it is still my decision to make. I will call you when I am ready to start classes again.'


	6. Truth or dare part1

Anote: I agree with my reviewer _Tono's pizza Delivery_ , time to put the steps in place to spring Erik from this cage.

Chapter 6 – **Truth or Dare part 1**

_Next morning, wood shop class._

Erik would have preferred anything besides wood shop that morning. Something mindless like polishing the auditorium's large glass windows, would have been a much better activity to match his present mood of distraction. If it wasn't for Matt, hissing at him every five minutes warning him to be careful, he would have already sliced of his finger with one of the table saws.

He wondered what Charles was doing. Probably the man was cursing him even now for wasting his time but perhaps even worse, Xavier was not thinking of him at all.

The prisoner caught the wad of sandpaper that his colleague tossed in his direction. Today they were repairing furniture for one of the state run orphanages and Matt had finally decided to commandeer the saw and swap assignments so now, Erik was sanding the wood preparing for a varnish.

Much better.

Now the older man was able to let loose the storm of thoughts that raged in his head without fear that he would cause himself or his cellmate bodily harm.

Erik was still going to take the test but he didn't give himself a fighting chance, not without the Professor.

'Dammit,' he whispered under his breath.

What had he done? Had he been too hasty in sending his teacher away? Of course he had been, but at the time he had let his fear control him; fear that Charles may have gotten hurt, decide his actions.

It was strange because he was sure two years ago he wouldn't have cared. Two years ago, he would have used and summarily discarded anyone who could get him closer him to Shaw without a second thought. Prison was supposed to make a person hard but it seemed to have mellowed him. Or was it something else? Perhaps it was a short, blue- eyed, whirlwind of energy who believed with every ounce of his being that Erik could be a better man. It was perhaps for the best though, because Erik hardly believed that the professor would cheerfully approve of the real reason that he wanted out of the prisons. Now as it stood, Shaw was still as far out of his reach as he had become the day that Erik had been sentenced. Always his schemes of vengeance against the bastard had given Erik clear focus but not then, not last night.

Charles had not called him back. It was what Erik wanted in his head but it was not what he wanted in his heart. Now that he had sent him away, the older man realized with a deep clarity that his teacher had filled a void of intimacy and closeness that had long stood empty, the absence of which now pressed on him most keenly.

It was the one thing that repeated itself over and over in Erik's mind as he plodded along, back into the interior of the prisons the night before. He just knew in his mind that the Englishman had watched him walk away, because the silence had clung to his back and shoulders like a living thing; sorrowful, angry and terrible all at the same time. He had come to the conclusion that he must have suffered some sort of mild shock because he couldn't remember collapsing into his bunk, but he thanked god for a dreamless night of sleep. He had no doubt though, that the professor would find his way into his head soon enough; to join the nightmares that involved all the other important people in his life, who for some reason or the other, he just couldn't hold on to.

Erik grunted as Matt poked him in his side with a bony elbow causing his melancholy musings to evaporate.

'Something's up,' the boy whispered.

Slowly Erik craned his head to catch a glimpse of what had caught his cell mate's attention.

A small knot of guards had gathered in the doorway, conversing earnestly in hushed tones. They appeared to be in disagreement.

'Stay with the class,' Officer Pratt finally declared to his fellow officers. 'I'll find the director.'

Erik wondered if he had imagined it, but he was sure that in the brief second that Pratt turned to walk away, the officer's eyes had been seeking his face.

In the meantime, a few buildings away, one tired and exhausted professor of biology squinted at the door of the waiting room as FINALLY someone, hopefully the director, was coming to give him an answer.

To say he was beyond disappointed when Officer Pratt entered the room would be a gross understatement.

The guard looked down at the file infront of him, scanning it quickly, 'Mr. Xavier?'

'Professor Xavier, my good man,' he corrected tiredly, pinching the bridge of his nose. 'Is the director on his way?'

The officer ignored the question as he continued to read the papers infront of him.

'You're giving Lehnsherr extra lessons?' he inquired almost boorishly with a defiant look on his face. 'Why?'

Charles could see why Erik found the man's company distasteful.

'I would rather wait for the director,' the Englishman answered in his usual well mannered tones, which his American university colleagues fondly referred to as his "old fart" voice.

The officer turned an odd color of puce at the politely couched dismissal. 'Look boy...professor …whatever, the director is on his way but he is going to tell you the same thing I am saying. This isn't a hotel. You can't just drop in whenever you feel like it.'

Angrily the officer stomped closer in a pure show of intimidation.

'If you want to see Erik, you have to explain yourself to me!'

'Do I?'

Officer Pratt turned purple.

'It's an academic emergency,' the Professor finally admitted, resting a hand on his briefcase. 'I have found another teacher for Mr. Lehnsherr.'

'Well you have wasted your time. Erik's not going to be taking any more lessons from now on. Understand?'

'Oh I think he will. He has an interest in leaving this facility and frankly…' Charles looked the other man up and down disdainfully before finally reading the prison guard's name tag, 'I can't say I blame him Officer Pratt.'

With a raised eyebrow Charles stared at the man's now white face. If the officer wasn't carefully he would soon have a stroke.

'What did Lehnsherr tell you?' he yelped unexpectedly, grabbing his baton at his side in a seemingly reflex action. 'He told you didn't he?'

What on earth?

Charles moistened his lips slightly. Erik rarely spoke about personal matters and this opportunity just seemed too good to pass up on. Whatever Erik supposedly knew clearly had the power to rattle the man infront of him. Charles had walked away last night with the distinct impression that Erik had been afraid of something. Did Officer Pratt know the reason?

Charles decided to play along, 'Yes, he told me everything.'

This evidently was the wrong thing to say as the prison guard reached out to grab his forearm in a painful grip.

'Lehnsherr is telling you a pack of lies and I hope for your sake that you haven't told anyone else.'

'Unhand me sir!' Charles cried out trying to get free and in the midst of the struggle, the professor elbowed the man in the face. With a grunt of pain Pratt twisted the other man's arm and Charles buckled to the floor with a scream. The professor had learnt some nasty underhanded fighting tricks in his time at Oxford but before he could demonstrate the finest that Cambridge had to offer, Erik barreled into the room and the hit the guard with all the force of a speeding truck.

TBC


	7. Truth or dare part2

**Anote:** I will post again next weekend. Erik will be moving out the prisons in our next installment. I am still trying to decide if to put him in Charles' mansion or not, it would be a stretch in the credulity of the story if I did, but I will think of something.

Do enjoy the rest of this chapter and please let me know if there are spelling mistakes etc

Chapter 7- **Truth or Dare part2**

'ERIK!' the younger man yelled out as the other promptly collapsed to his knees, fighting for breath from his Herculean sprint across the prison yards.

Cradling his injured arm to his chest, Charles half crawled, half scuttled to where his friend knelt, craning his head to try and look up into the man's face.

'I'm okay,' Erik sputtered and coughed weakly between deep, painful breaths. 'Did the bastard touch you? Are you alright?'

The professor nodded dumbly as he absentmindedly stroked the top of Erik's head with his good hand. He couldn't believe what had just happened! Thank goodness the older man had appeared! He was pretty sure that he could have held Pratt off for a few seconds, enough time to attract some attention at least but with that baton in play, things could have become very nasty, very quickly.

They both turned to look at the fallen guard who still lay motionless. The sharp, sickening crunch they had heard when the man slammed into the opposite wall left no doubt that he would be unconscious for awhile.

'I think I lost my head when Cooper said he saw you in the administration building,' Erik panted. 'I knew Pratt would come after you. I just knew it!'

The older man rounded on Charles with an angry glint in his eyes. 'I told you to stay AWAY!. Why didn't you just listen to me?'

Without apparent thought, the smaller man continued to stroke the other man's hair as if subconsciously trying to settle the tension and fear that pulsed in the man's veins.

'Did he ever hurt you Erik?' Charles asked instead, the possibility of which made his voice quiver.

Erik closed his eyes in despair. He would never get used to the way Charles acted towards him. Gently, he reached out for the arm that the Englishman was holding close about his body.

'No he never hurt me, but he is a not a good man. You should have stayed away.' Erik answered more calmly now, pressing lightly on the delicate arm with his fingers.

As the silence stretched on, he looked up into Charles still too pale face and saw such a look of fear and concern still lying in their depths.

'He didn't hurt me,' he repeated again with more conviction. 'Charles, your concern for my well being ….I have difficulties expressing...'

Charles flinched as the man pressed on a sore spot, which of course made Erik's temper, always on a hair trigger to begin with, flare out of control.

As he took a couple of breaths to try and release his rage, Erik suddenly noticed a few odd things in quick succession.

'What the fuck?! Have you been drinking? I can smell it on your skin! JESUS, that's the same shirt you wore yesterday! Did you even go home last night? Fuck, Fuck, FUCK!'

Instinctively, the younger man tried to lean away from this fresh wave of anger. Charles had just had one of the worst nights of his damned life and now Erik was screaming at him. It seemed almost unthinkable that only a few short hours before, they were in the prison cafeteria courtyard enjoying the orange chicken and mashed potatoes.

'I was upset!' he yelled out hoarsely in return. 'I am a grown man; I can have a beer or two if I want!'

The older man flung up his arms with a roar of frustration. 'All of this for a stupid EXAM? WHAT in God's name is wrong with you?'

'YOU ARE WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!' Charles screamed in anguish, not able to hold on to his secret any longer.

Erik lunged for the other man as he tried to crawl away. Naturally, the smaller man was no match for his strength as he gently but firmly pulled him back.

However, Erik almost swallowed his tongue when Charles, having a sudden attack of bravery it would seem, twisted around and rose on his knees to kiss him full on the mouth.

Delicately, the prisoner grabbed the younger man's shoulders and broke the kiss.

'Well that was unexpected,' he commented for want of something better to say in the pause between them.

'I wanted to do that, just once,' Charles admitted in a pathetic little whimper.

'Charles?'

Erik quickly gathered the man into his arms as violent tremors suddenly wracked his teacher's body.

'Easy, easy,' the older man whispered reassuringly. 'No harm done. I understand now.'

The Englishman didn't know what was wrong with him, he felt so cold and his teeth began to chatter uncontrollably.

'I …. found you another…. tutor,' Charles shakily remarked to one of Erik's shirt buttons.

The other man huffed in amusement and hugged him a little closer, 'we can talk about this later, just try and calm down.'

Obediently, the younger man closed his eyes and clung to the comfort being offered. He was always taking care of people; his mother, his students and it was nice for a change to be taken care of in return. It was one of the qualities he liked about his current companion. Soon, he could feel the unexpected shakes die into nothingness as Erik rubbed large soothing circles on his back.

'I have to check on Pratt,' Erik interjected much too soon for his liking. 'Can you stand?'

He nodded and effortlessly it would seem, Erik hooked his hands under his arms and lifted him into to his feet.

The academic's eyes cut across to the other man, trying to read his facial expression however Erik was completely focused on the prison guard lying in a heap. It was almost as if nothing had just happened, as if he had not just revealed his secret in such an explosive and decisive fashion. Charles wasn't sure if Erik's calmness was such a good thing. However the older man hadn't struck out at him or gotten angry after the stolen kiss, all very hopeful signs that their relationship was NOT completely wrecked. Reflecting on these facts made Charles feel pleasantly numb all over.

Together, they walked forward and leaned over the man's body, neither wanting to reach down to turn him over.

'Good morning Professor Xavier,' the prison director greeted them automatically, as he belatedly walked into the waiting room.

Stupidly, the three of them stared at each other when the director, suddenly regaining his senses, stumbled back with a surprised cry and ran out the room. In the distance an alarm bell could be heard wailing loudly, alerting the rest of the guards of the disturbance and probable threat to the prisons.

'Erik?' Charles yelped in fear and confusion as the man grabbed his good arm and dragged him across the room.

'They are going to come here and subdue us. Standard protocol.'

'Subdue?' the smaller man asked nervously.

'Get down on your knees and lace your fingers behind your head.'

The confidence in which he gave the instructions took away some of the teacher's fear but it returned quickly because instead of kneeling at his side, Erik whirled away to where Officer Pratt's body lay.

Charles bit his lip as Erik took up a position similar to his, on the opposite side of the room.

'Don't even think about it! Stay put,' the prisoner growled at him. 'You WILL obey me this time!'

'Erik?'

'I'm right here. It's going to be all right.'

The prisoner hoped he wasn't lying. The guards has subjected them to numerous drills so he knew what was going to happen, but none of the mock exercises involved an injured prison guard laying stark and unmoving as if he were dead. Erik had done what he could in placing Charles away from the danger area. Now they could only wait for the outcome. He looked across at the other man who was bravely trying to keep it together. Charles didn't deserve any of this.

'You know I am not surprised that you are attracted to me, what with my good looks and killer body,' Erik teased roguishly with a bit of a gloating smirk thrown in.

As he expected Charles turned pink.

'You insufferable bastard,' the smaller man choked out.

He didn't care what the Englishman said to him because Charles was now distracted and was even struggling not to smile.

'It's my butt isn't? I also think it's my best feature,' Erik added smugly, waggling his eyebrows for effect.

Charles jaw dropped open in stupefied horror, torn between swearing out loud and laughing at this piece of foolishness.

A sudden loud noise coupled with the sound of harsh pounding feet in the corridor caught their attention.

'Don't look at the door,' the older man commanded. 'Charles look at me. Look at me! I want you to focus on the ground and cover your ears. No matter what you hear, don't get up, don't make a sound.'

With regret, Erik observed the fear creep across Charles' face again but it would be over soon.


	8. Taking risks part1

**Anote:** In this chapter I am choosing to act on the notion that Charles, belonging to 'old money,' would have a reasonable amount of influence in society but this is fan fiction so I hope my gentle readers won't mind that I stretched reality a bit fine. Also as we shift out of the prison setting, I will introduce some new characters but I will trickle them in one by one so they don't overwhelm the storyline. I was watching Tommy Lee Jones in the Fugitive over the weekend and the character of Mr. Gerard is based on that performance.

**Chapter 8**- Taking risks part1

Erik wished whoever was calling his name would stop.

He just wanted to stay in this bed and keep his eyes closed. Any other activity besides those two would be torture. If anyone could comprehend how awful he actually felt, Erik was sure they would insist that he lay down and not move at all!

However, the voice was adamant and slowly as it whispered with ever increasing volume though his conscious, it became entangled with other thoughts and memories; flashes of Charles on his knees facing him, injured and scared and then blackness.

Suddenly it seemed imperative that he awoke.

He blinked rapidly as he forced his eyes open, wincing from the bright light coming through a large window in the room. Through half squinted eyes, the prisoner quickly surveyed the room dismayed to see so many unfamiliar faces and distressed not to find the ONE face he longed to ensure was safe.

A conservatively dressed man in his late fifties who sat by his bedside, was the most likely owner of the voice that had been calling to him. The old man leaned closer with the apparent intentions of introducing himself. Quite frankly, Erik didn't want to meet anyone, especially while he was the nursing the most violent headache he had ever experienced in his life! But there was something about this man. He had a presence that could not be ignored.

'Mr. Lehnsherr, my name is Mr. Gerard. You can call me Mr. Gerard. I am the manager of the 27th district Parole house. You have been in the prison hospital for the last two days. Raise one finger if you can understand me. Do NOT nod your head.'

Erik's jaw dropped open at this unexpected declaration.

'I understand,' he croaked out in an unsteady voice.

The parole officer quickly whipped around to address another strange man dressed in a lab coat who stood at the foot of his bed, reading a medical chart.

'He talked, that's a good sign isn't?' Gerard inquired with a stern but hopeful look.

As the tall, thin man grunted non-committaly still studying the charts, a large cup with a straw suddenly zoomed within Erik's line of vision.

'Take a sip,' Matt offered.

Thank God, at last a familiar face! Gratefully, the patient took a sip of the cool water.

'Matt? What happened?'

'Man, you look like shit!' was Matt's somewhat unhelpful reply.

His fellow prisoner hastened out the way when the young man with the clipboard approached.

'Hi, I'm Hank. I am not really a medical doctor but my friend Charles sent me…'

Dr. McCoy got no further as Erik's hand whipped out to snag the man's slender wrist in a hard, crushing grip causing Hank to stifle a howl of pain. He was certain that he would have bruises tomorrow.

'Where is HE? Tell me NOW!' Erik yelled out trying to rise from the bed, an act he quickly abandoned as spots of yellow danced before his eyes.

Naturally, this outburst led to a scene of pure pandemonium.

'Quiet, quiet,' Gerard rumbled softly.

The parole officer pointed to one of the prison officials who was quickly approaching their area.

'We're fine here,' Gerard sang out, smiling insincerely. 'We're fine.'

Everyone waited as the guard halfhearted shambled away, back to his corner.

'Charles is outside. He's alright, but he has been banned from the prison,' Hank answered in a hurried whisper still trying to pry his wrist loose from Erik's fierce grip.

'Control yourself Lehnsherr,' Gerard grumbled menacingly, clamping down on Erik's taunt forearm. 'We are all here trying to help you.'

Erik swallowed hard trying to control his nausea. Finally he nodded reluctantly, releasing Hank's arm with a muttered apology, 'Banned?'

'Your teacher Xavier has been making all SORTS of trouble for the prison board but fortunately for YOU, it's the good kind,' the parole officer explained. 'As of 22 hundred standard time yesterday my good man, your parole application was fast tracked and approved.'

Erik eyes widened in shocked disbelief. He couldn't be more surprised if Gerard had hit him in the face with a pie.

Was this really happening?

Charles.

Charles had freed him?

Erik suddenly felt the need to swear in every European language he knew including the obscure ones! He would be in Charles' debt for the rest of his life and then some!

The officer flipped opened the folder so that the ex-prisoner could see for himself the large green APPROVED stamp across the application form.

'The Professor even woke up the governor at 3 o'clock in the morning,' Hank added in a shocked can-you-believe-it whisper.

'You certainly picked a good person to rescue,' Gerard commented off-handedly.

The revelations of the evening rolled over Erik like a tidal wave and for a moment he closed his eyes, trying to slow down the way his life was stampeding past him.

'Erik it's all over the news. Your teacher is some sort of multi-millionaire do-gooder!' Matt squeaked excitedly. 'The media are calling you a hero!'

Erik blinked rapidly at this fresh piece of unbelievable information. He had been out of it for only two days and the whole world had gone mad it would seem.

'He's a what?' Erik asked in confusion.

'That is not important right now,' Gerald interrupted the direction of the conversation. 'What is important is that I think Xavier is right. You are not safe here.'

Everyone turned to look at the small knot of guards who gathered together near the entrance of the prison's small hospital. Their very presence seemed to dim the light and warmth in the room.

'Law enforcement have their own code, even prison guards,' Gerard clarified to his small audience, 'and you put one of their own in the hospital. I think it would be a very bad idea for you to stay here. I WAS thinking of moving you to another prison until you recovered but its just as likely that you may get "accidentally" knocked on your head again, wherever you go.'

Hank crept closer to the bed and Gerard relinquished his seat to the younger man, obviously by some pre-arranged agreement.

'Your skull is slightly cracked Erik,' McCoy explained, 'and the prison doctor's have stressed that you need rest and constant monitoring for the next several days at least. Injuries to the head are always hard to predict. You could be fine one minute and the next you could slip into a coma while you are sleeping. They are not willing to let us take you out of the facility.'

The patient felt a small tendril of fear encircle him. Suddenly the room felt cold as once again the gift of his freedom was being threatened. Erik could see the image of his body lying in the bed, reflected off the boy's huge glasses and it was truly a disconcerting sight to behold.

'What are you are saying?' he asked softly.

Hank shifted in his seat and leaned in closer, as if preparing to make a final convincing argument to a desperate cause. 'This is your life Erik and you must choose what risks you are willing to take. If you stay here it is a risk, if you try to move too soon it is a risk but we are here to help you and if you chose to disobey medical advice and leave now, Gerard and I will make sure you make it out. Charles has arranged a place for you with round the clock medical care, but it has to be your decision.'

All eyes focused on the man in the bed who naturally hesitated at this plethora of information being thrown at him. His world had once again been turned upside down both literally and figuratively within the space of a few days. The idea that freedom was only one word away had temporarily robbed him of the power of speech.

'We can't kidnap you,' Hank added with a weak, lopsided grin. 'Charles has asked me to tell you that he KNOWS two weeks is a very short time to trust someone, but if you can master your fear and take this chance, he promises that you will not regret it. '

With a grimace Erik weakly covered his eyes with one hand, 'I won't, but he most likely will.'

TBC

(**Anote**: tah! That was the most boring chapter ever! More charles/erik tomorrow, I promise)


	9. Taking risks part2

**Chapter 9** –Taking risks part 2

If there wasn't so many people in the room, Charles would have been sorely tempted to stroke Erik's hair.

Words could not express how relieved he was that his friend was finally out of the prisons and now under his care at the mansion. There were moments within the last two days when he thought his mind was going to be completely unhinged with worry and fear but all of that seemed like a distant memory as he stood next to Erik's hospital bed. One of the doctors Charles had selected to oversee his recovery, ducked around the two of them because Erik had flatly refused to let the professor out of his sight. As a result they had to re-position the bed in the middle of the large room so that the medical personnel could have easy access and still allow Charles to maintain his spot next to the patient.

However currently, Charles was struggling to contain his laughter by gently resting his hand on the man's forehead as Erik smiled up at him like a complete buffoon. With concern the professor noted that the man's pupils were still the size of dinner plates.

'Hank old chap,' he looked across the room to where his colleague was updating one of the nurses, 'when will these painkillers wear off?'

McCoy looked up and winced because just then Erik had caught hold of Charles' little finger and was energetically swinging it to and fro like a jump rope.

'Any minute now,' he reassured everyone.

The Englishman hoped that Erik wouldn't remember much of this because Charles knew he would be mortified by such undignified behaviour. From their short time together, he recollected that Erik abhorred excessive displays of emotions but maybe someday they could look back and laugh at the way he had curled up like a toddler against Charles' chest on the drive home.

The professor sincerely hoped that everyone would blame such odd behaviour on the powerful drugs that Hank had administered. All things considered, the young man knew they were skating on thin ice and one wrong move could send this whole little scheme spiraling out of control. Surreptitiously he glanced around the room to see if anyone was looking at them peculiarly.

He wasn't at all surprise that Gerard was staring at them with a flat, contemplative expression.

Charles had been quite pleased when his lawyer had connected him to Mr. Gerard who ran one of the most successful Parole houses in the state. The professor had found the man to be quiet, focused, efficient and obviously dedicated in his mission as he put it "to ensure that his charges met the challenges of their parole'. This was all well and good when they were working in concert but ever since Charles insisted on moving Erik to the mansion he began to see the disadvantages of having someone who was so observant in the midst of their odd arrangement.

As if sensing the professor was looking at him, the officer emerged from the little corner that he had secreted himself so as to not be in the way of the flock of white coated medical persons.

He gripped the metal bars on the other side of the bed from Charles.

'Is he going to live?' Gerard commented dryly. He wasn't in the mood to be humored especially since his expertise had been over ruled by the smaller man opposite.

Erik beamed up at him as if greeting an old friend.

'Yes, no ill effects,' the younger man informed him warily, scrubbing at his eyes to try and erase his fatigue. 'The doctors will bring across some equipment to give him a CAT scan in the morning.'

'Xavier, I just want to repeat how unusual this situation is. Although I agree that he is going to receive much better medical care that I could ever hope to offer him at my building, I believe you are taking too much responsibility on yourself by sheltering him inside your own house. '

In his nervous state Charles tensed, believing that he heard a threat hidden in the man's lecture.

'Are you going to challenge this?'

'Hell no!' Gerard seemed genuinely shocked that Charles would even say suggest a thing. 'I am not challenging any one who is on a first name basis with the governor. First thing next morning I will bring some paperwork for you to sign.'

The professor looked down at Erik in an attempt to hide his relief.

'I am just saying that I have been doing this for the last fifteen years and I think the odds of Lehnsherr keeping to his parole conditions would have been much higher if he stayed with me.'

'No, stay with Charlie!' Erik muttered stubbornly, reaching out to clumsily grab on to the man's wrist as if his teacher would suddenly disappear if he were not careful.

Quickly the professor covered his friend's mouth with the palm of his hand, afraid in his semi-drugged state that he would say something that would jeopardise the situation.

'Must be nice to be wanted, I will try not to be offended,' Gerard commented in a more relaxed voice.

The officer raised an eyebrow as a high color stained the smaller man's cheekbones and Xavier looked away in embarrassment.

A niggling seed of doubt began to blossom in Gerard's mind.

'For instance,' the parole officer suddenly interjected. 'With my years of experience, I believe that this compilation among Lesshenr's personal items is a potential source of concern.'

The man handed over a familiar folder labeled S. Shaw.

Fortunately the officer missed the way the patient minutely stiffened in shock but Charles didn't. The tense pressure under the professor's hand was strong enough to set off a wave of intuition in Charles' mind and like a cascade of falling dominoes revealing a hidden pattern, he didn't even need to look in Erik's direction to know what he had to do next.

'I have been looking for that folder everywhere!' the younger man cried out. 'I must have left it at the prisons.'

Carefully he perched the folder on Erik's stomach and happily pretended to check the contents with his free hand.

'You have saved me weeks of work,' the Englishman lied cheerfully. 'Thank you.'

Gerard frowned and watched without really seeing as Xavier closed the folder and tucked it against the patient's side. He still couldn't shake the bad feeling he was getting about this whole situation but then again nothing about this parolee was following standard procedure. Maybe it was also because Lehnsherr had been convicted of financial mismanagement which was just a fancy way of saying he was a con artist, Gerard's least favourite type of parolee to manage. You never knew what they were thinking and you always had to be on the look out for the proverbial ace up the sleeve. As far as he was concerned, the professor was taking a dangerous risk.

'Why?'

Charles was busy nodding good night to the various medical staff as they began to move out the room, 'I beg your pardon?'

'Why are you doing this?' Gerard pressed curiously. 'You've only known the man for two weeks.'

It was Charles' turn to look surprised.

'A man, no…my student who tried to protect me, was beaten in front my eyes,' he snarled out in angry tones. 'Maybe I am not as accustom to you to violence but I can't walk away from something like that and I will certainly NOT entrust his safety to the system again!'

Everyone left in the room naturally froze in order to gawk at the two combatants as they stared down one another, mentally shuffling around previous concepts and coming up with new impressions of each other.

'Erik, please stop licking my hand!' Charles requested sternly.

Their patient, still under the influence of the narcotics, shook with silent laughter. Intended or not, it was enough to derail the conversation from heading down the path of a heated argument.

Hank coughed nervously to attract their attention, 'We're all set here Charles. The doctors will be checking vitals every four hours. Can I see you out Mr. Gerard?'

Suddenly the officer became aware of how unsteadily the professor was standing, the grayish tinge on his face adding to his general appearance of exhaustion.

'Xavier let us walk you to your room,' the older man offered. 'We can talk about this tomorrow. You look like you are ready to keel over.'

Charles shook his head and held out his saliva-free hand to shake those of the men before him. 'Thank you, but my staff will attend to me.'

Every eyeball swiveled to the side as the hulking form of Xavier's chauffeur/handy man emerged from the shadows, a pair of pajamas clutched in his left hand and a toothbrush in his right. The items looked ridiculously small in the man's larger hands. Everyone in the room eyed the man cautiously, everyone except Charles who seemed quite at home with his rough looking companion.

Within a few moments Hank had ushered everyone out the room and for the first time in two days, Charles let himself relax. He looked down at his hands as they gripped the metal bars of the bed and even though he couldn't see it, the Englishman could feel the fine tremors of exhaustion running up and down his arms.

The other man waved the pajamas in his face.

'Lehnsherr's here and he's safe,' he grumbled irritably 'You can get some sleep now.'

Tiredly, the professor reached for the toothbrush and fresh clothes, wondering if he would even make it to the attached bathroom in their make shift ward without falling flat on his face. It didn't matter though; all that mattered was that Erik was safe. Xavier was quite sure that he could contently fall asleep on the toilet if he couldn't make it to his room.

Charles leaned over and pressed down hard on the man's chest to get his attention. 'Erik, stay here with my friend. I am coming back. Be good!'

Curiously the patient studied Charles' companion as the taller man fiercely scowled down at him. 'Sorry, do I know you?'

The man removed the fat cigar he had been agitatedly chewing and pitched it with perfect precision into the waste basket.

'Nope,' he answered. 'But I am the guy who is going to break your back if you hurt Xavier.'

The patient blinked trying to process that idea through his disconnected brain.

'Pleased to meet you,' Erik replied politely, and the two shook hands even as the other man scoffed and straddled a nearby chair.

He folded his beefy arms over the back and the two men lapsed into a comfortable silence listening to the sounds of running water.

'How is he doing?' Charles asked the moment he opened the door.

'He's quieted down plenty, but fighting sleep hard,' the handy man reported uncomfortably, rising swiftly to his feet. He was never much good in a closed off, stuffy sick room. If not for the professor, he would have bolted hours ago.

Worriedly he watched as Charles more or less sleep walked right up to the bed and took a header off the bed rails.

'Just five minutes,' Charles promised in an exhausted whisper. In reply, Erik's right arm encircled the man's waist, anchoring him to his side.

The handyman fought with every instinct that demanded he snatch his employer away from this strange person who only a few hours ago was a guest of the New York penal system but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He just couldn't interfere not when he looked down at the two men sprawled more or less haphazardly on top each other in the narrow cot, who after so many hours of hard battle had finally found the peace they needed to fall asleep.


	10. If you knew me better part1

**Anote:** First, I love chatting with my readers off site and everyone who made a guess to the identity of Charles' handyman is 100% right. Lol. But anyhow he had to go grab some breakfast after keeping watch over our favorite couple last night but he will be back later in another chapter. Second, in the English language we use the phrase 'sleeping with someone' and 'having sex' to be one and same. In my story they are separate activities. Third and last, thank you to my reader who pointed out the Erik is behaving odd. That's exactly how I want to portray him. Erik hasn't had a good life and is a messed up individual, with some messed up priorities but he does care enough to worry about Charles' safety.

My apologies, enough talk. Do enjoy.

**Chapter 10-** If you knew me better part 1

'Ow,' was the only response the professor could give.

Erik smiled faintly and opened his eyes, glad that the other man was finally awake. He had had a restless night with a host of unfamiliar doctors poking and prodding him every couple of hours instead of letting him sleep. How did people ever get better this way? It was maddening and at one point he wanted to fling his jug of water at some of them but he stopped himself just in time. For one, he didn't want to wake Charles who had comfortably snuggled up on his chest just below his right arm and two; he thought it MIGHT have been a poor way to express his gratitude to the man who had quite literarily moved heaven and earth to secure his parole.

The patient grunted as Charles unapologetically planted his palm on Erik's chest inorder to heave his sore and cramped body into a semi sitting position. Good thing he didn't have a broken rib because that would not have been pleasant.

It was also a good thing that Erik had been awake for some time as he was easily able to grab Charles' arm as the man started violently when he finally realized where he was.

'Easy,' the older man said quickly. 'We're up a little high here.'

The Englishman's eyes darted around the semi dark room in confusion, 'Why? Where are all the doctors? What time is it?'

'They've come and gone several times actually. You're not a morning person are you?' Erik teased his sleeping companion.

He tried to keep his face blank but inside he could feel his insides twist uncomfortably. The look in Charles' eyes was fleeting but he had seen it. It could have been a look of fear, a look of disgust but it was clear that he had been upset when he opened his eyes and seen Erik lying underneath him. He hoped it wasn't fear, he could handle anything else but the thought that Charles' was possibly afraid of him cut him to the core.

The younger man scrubbed at his head making his hair stand up in unruly spikes. He knew he must look like a fright, because Erik was right he wasn't a morning person at all. No one in the mansion dared to talk to him before he had his morning tea and croissant. But at the moment he was trying to figure out why he was in Erik's bed. He couldn't for the life of him remember how he got here and he also couldn't believe that he had slept through multiple visits by the doctors! Why hadn't Erik shaken him awake so that people wouldn't see them sleeping together?

The two men locked eyes and the way Erik was watching him like a wary animal was doing nothing to settle his growing unease.

'Should I go?' Charles blurted out without thinking.

Of course he didn't WANT to go, but a sudden alarming thought had crossed his mind. What if the man, knowing how Charles felt, had some misguided notion that he HAD to do this; that he HAD to be open and receptive to his touch? That idea was beyond revolting on so many levels.

He felt his heart sink even lower as the other man released his arm almost immediately, 'Do you want to leave?'

Oh buckets! He didn't see that coming and of course he didn't have an answer prepared.

'I asked you first,' he yelped and the professor was mortified to hear himself squeak.

He forced himself not to look away as Erik searched his face with an almost desperate intensity.

'If you have no objections, I would rather you stay,' he answered a little cautiously as if not sure what he was saying would be well received. 'A familiar face close by would be welcome.'

Charles resisted the mad impulse to break out in a song and dance but just to be sure he didn't wear out his welcome, he eased off Erik's chest and propped himself up sideways. The older man had said to stay; he didn't necessarily mean to stay on top of him.

Erik's eyes followed Charles' actions without comment. Now that he was more awake, Charles appeared to be calmer if not still a bit nervous in his presence; not that he wasn't anxious himself. The way his life had shifted so rapidly within a few hours had left him feeling vulnerable and there was a part of him that still thought someone was going to walk into the room and tell him it was all a mistake.

He was sorry that Charles had moved away though. He had liked where the man had been before. Erik usually slept alone so it was a novel experience to share a bed with someone who apparently only wanted to rent his chest as a pillow and borrow some heat. But he had admit to himself, it had been wonderful to feel the warmth of another human being in his arms especially one who he knew cared so much about him. Each time the doctors had left last night he had spent those waking moments savoring the small body pressed close to his. Was it a sad that he couldn't remember the last time he had enjoyed such intimate companionship?

'Are you sure that you want me to stay?' Charles pressed anxiously.

This time Erik gave him a hard stare of annoyance. 'If you knew me better Xavier, you would know that I rarely do anything that isn't self serving.'

The moment he said it the older man wished he could take it back. He found that he had been doing that a lot lately in the professor's company; allowing aspects of his personality that he usually kept hidden, to bleed out in normal conversation. However, he pressed his lips together tightly so as to avoid further confrontation, because guessing from Charles' huge smile, the smaller man inexplicably seemed to find favor in a statement that Erik believed most people would consider rude in a house guest.

'How is your head?' the professor asked. 'Forgive me. That should have been my first question my friend.'

Erik waved aside the apology, 'Still hurts like the devil but I will survive. I will be having words with your Dr. McCoy a little later about those painkillers he slipped me at the prisons'

The Englishman stifled a snort of laughter at the other man's disgruntled expression. He did remember! However, Erik wasn't the type of person who had yet learnt how to laugh at himself, so Charles forced his face into a neutral appearance.

'Do you really live here?' was the question the older man selected to ask in return.

'Um...yes. Do you like it?'

'Looks more like a museum than a house.'

'Good lord what a snob you are! I can't help it if I am rich.'

'How do you afford this on a teacher's salary? You're not a drug dealer on the sly are you?'

'Don't be a blooming idiot, of course I am not.'

Erik had been squinting at a nearby painting trying to determine if it was a Van Gogh or not. The brushwork certainly seemed to hint that it was created by the famous artist. He averted his gaze quickly when his head started to pound even worse that before.

'This house has been in my family for generations. Its part of my family's fortune, think British aristocracy, sugar cane and pirates,' the professor explained succinctly but colorfully.

The older man tilted his head to study the man at his side. Among his previous acquaintance, something like being disgustingly rich and perhaps having a title attached to your name would have found its way within the conversation within five minutes of an introduction. In contrast, he had been talking with Charles on and off for two weeks and he had said nothing to even hint at this. Instead he knew the Englishman liked oolong tea, preferred cats to dogs and fretted constantly that no one was taking his lunch time chess tournaments in the teacher's lounge seriously. He didn't know what to make of his little friend who was so very different from the people he normally surrounded himself with!

The smaller man wondered what Erik was thinking as he looked at him. Charles never thought this could happen. He had day dreamed about being in bed with the older man but the possibility had seemed so remote given the circumstances of the man's incarceration but now he was free. Charles heartily wished he could stop this train of thought though because the other man was injured and sick. Surely he was some special classification of pervert for even letting his mind wander close to such fantasies and as he struggled for control of his hormonally overloaded brain, the professor had to clench his fist hard to prevent himself from reaching out to tuck a wayward strand of hair off Erik's forehead. The man was so beautiful that Charles honestly didn't know how much longer he could live like this. Maybe he could manage a few more weeks of pretending that nothing was wrong. The professor had been quite adept at that skill in his previous relationships but even then he knew if a potential partner had been gay or not. However, Erik's habit of suppressing all his emotions except annoyance and anger, made it very difficult to figure out the possibility.

The rational part of him knew that it would be better to know now, while he still had a reasonable chance of getting his heart out in one piece. But the answer could be no and then Charles would have nothing left but cruel disappointment. It was a dilemma that kept him balanced on the painful edge of the knife.

He should just ask.

They were two grown men living in a modern society.

Why couldn't he just open his mouth and ask?

Maybe when Erik was feeling better he would ask.

But it was just one little question.

He should just ask, right?

TBC


	11. If you knew me better part2

**Anote**: Did my readers watch the Prometheus movie trailer as yet? Fassbender with blonde hair! My goodness! Not my first choice but I think he can pull off any look he wishes.

**Chapter 10-** If you knew me better part 2

Charles' rambling, unproductive, internal dialogue was interrupted when abruptly; the older man clapped a hand over his mouth and squeezed his eyes closed.

'ERIK!' he shouted out in concern, seeing that the man was turning a sickly shade of green under his pale skin.

The professor lunged across the man's chest, stretching his arm out to grab the emergency button that, OF COURSE, was located on the other side of the bed. He never made it as Erik clamped a strong arm across his back immobilizing him in position.

'Let me call for help!' Charles cried out, straining to reach the call device that was only millimeters away from his finger tips.

He was terrified as he could clearly feel every ragged breath that Erik struggled to take through their chest to chest contact.

'No doctors,' Erik managed to choke out. 'Just give me a minute.'

And indeed it was a long minute, as the older man groaned and focused on keeping his stomach to behave. With the throbbing headache that he was enduring, he knew that if he threw up now his head would most likely explode. Slowly the upset feeling cleared and he quickly realized that he was probably hurting the other man with his tight grip and instantly loosened his hold.

'Don't want anyone to come in here yet,' the older man explained haltingly between breaths, 'Just want to talk with you a little longer.'

Oh.

The silence made Erik open his eyes. Charles was only a few inches away, staring worriedly up at him.

'Please Charles?' he begged. 'I'm feeling better now. Truly I am.'

'Doesn't it bother you having a man lying on top of you?' the young man unexpectedly asked in return.

Erik's whole expression creased in confusion, and his eyes narrowed as he squinted down at the other man, 'Do you mean men in general or you specifically? '

The professor wished the ground could just open up and swallow him whole. He couldn't answer that question even if his life depended on it. As it was, he was using what little courage he had remaining to stay where he was and not scuttle off to hide in the nearest pile of laundry.

'Generally speaking, it doesn't really matter to me. What are you really asking me Xavier? Do you want to know my orientation? You could have just asked. If the sex is good, I don't care if it's a man or woman.'

Erik gently held the professor around his waist and lifted him the few inches so that now Charles could share his pillow. He was pleased that the man yielded to his touch so easily and without apparent fear.

'Forgive me,' the older man apologised into the man's ear. 'I can see that my crudeness has upset you. I could have stated that better.'

'No, no. It's fine,' the Charles squeaked out nervously, 'I've just never heard anyone talk about their sexuality like that before. Excellent, excellent, jolly good. Thank you for sharing.'

Carefully Erik turned his head to the side so now he was looking directly into the man's eyes.

'But you specifically….

He could see Charles' eyes darken, obviously surprised that this aspect of their conversation was still going on.

…you specifically I approve of. I think there would be very few that would not approve.'

Contemplatively, the young man propped up his head with one hand so that he could look down into Erik's face. 'That is such a very nice thing to say but Erik I can see in your eyes that the thought brings you no pleasure at all.'

The professor felt a cold heavy weight settle in his heart as the older man continued to stare up at him in silence. His face was impassive as ever, but at this close distance there was no way that Erik could hide the anguish that rolled in his storm coloured grey eyes.

'I thought you would be happy, knowing that you have my good opinion,' Erik evasively criticised.

Desperately seeking a way to break through this wall, the Englishman reached out to caress the man's cheek feeling the inevitable rough stubble under his thumb.

'Please Erik, please talk to me,' the smaller man implored.

The simple physical contact seemed to be having some affect because he could feel Erik shudder against him, suffering with the strain of keeping his emotions in check.

'If you knew me better,' Charles interjected using the same phrase the man had used earlier, 'you would know that you can tell me anything.'

For a bad little moment, he thought the other man was going to push him off and roll away from the question.

He had to lean in closer just to be able to catch Erik's answer.

'You don't know what I'm like Charles, not really' he explained desperately, 'If you knew what I was capable of, you wouldn't be here with me.'

The professor frowned and shook his head in automatic denial as Erik twisted away and reached under the covers.

'I admit that I don't know you as LONG as I have known others, but to know as WELL,' the younger man reasoned, obligingly reaching over to assist Erik in recovering the object he was trying to retrieve, 'I think that is a subjective condition, my friend.'

The patient finally settled Shaw's biographical data on his chest, protected seemingly under his outstretched fingers.

Charles was quietly thoughtful but Erik looked genuinely confused as if not sure what force had led him to his current course of action. Was he still being influenced by drugs?

The professor reached over and tapped Shaw's folder with a finger, 'I am going to conjecture that you are NOT writing a book.'

'No,' Erik admitted reluctantly.

The parole officer's warning flared loudly in his ears as Charles flipped open the front cover and proceeded to peruse the first few photographs he encountered. Gerard had insisted that the professor was in over his head and even though he would not admit it at the time, there was a part of the young man that had believed him. There was an untamed quality about his new friend that while sexually compelling was not completely reassuring giving the precarious state of affairs they found themselves in.

'Well naturally I am curious about this gentleman you seem so fascinated with and I hope that some day; hopefully VERY soon, you will tell me all about…'

'I won't be staying Charles,' the older man interrupted. 'I think it's important that you know that.'

The Englishman almost fell off the side rail in shock.

'SHIT!' Charles surprisingly cursed out loud. 'Surely you must be joking! You cannot break your parole! You will go back to prison!'

Erik exhaled nosily in frustration, closing the folder with one hand, 'I am not going to break my parole.'

Not satisfied with his conciliatory response, the professor frantically caught the man's jaw with his fingers so that he could have his undivided attention.

'Erik, do NOT do this to me! I have placed my reputation on the line to vouch for your good character. Please do not do anything foolish.'

The ex-prisoner wasn't about to explain this to the professor, but he had no intention of breaking his conditions because there was no way he was going to get close to Shaw if he was hounded by the judicial system from state to state. Erik had learnt the value of patience the hard way. What he was really trying to say was that he didn't want Charles to get too caught up in this fantasy he was creating inside his head because unfortunately, he couldn't stick around to participate.

'Erik I INSIST you give me your word!' the professor pleaded desperately.

'It is given,' the older man replied miserably. 'I am not going to break my parole.'

With that promise alone Charles could feel his heartbeat return to something resembling a normal human rhythm, and he opened his hand to release the other man.

Really!

What on EARTH was wrong with Erik today? Was he trying to kill him? Maybe HE needed a croissant and some tea!

Charles patted the man's chest comfortingly as the other man turned his head away. Perhaps he shouldn't have started yelling like that. Erik had wanted to tell him something but now that chance had clearly evaporated.

Dejectedly, the older man closed his eyes, trying to erase the look of disappointment that he had seen on his friend's face. Charles had always given him the benefit of the doubt since the day they met but now Erik could recognise that a shade of uncertainty had dimmed the brilliant blue eyes that up till now always twinkled with good humor and cheer. He wouldn't blame the professor one bit if he rescinded his kind invitation to recuperate in his home.

'There, there,' the professor mumbled a bit foolishly. 'Let's just concentrate on getting better shall we?'

As Erik absentmindedly focused on the door, he listened to the young man's words. Was Charles really trying to comfort him as if he were a stray kitten? It was truly silly in a completely charming way but Erik wished he wouldn't, even as he found himself smiling almost wistfully. Charles was going to make some lucky bastard a wonderful husband someday. 'Xavier, I have seen the way you look at me and I beg that you will not do this to yourself.'

The older man could feel Charles' body stiffen with shock.

Did the smaller really think he didn't know?

How could he not when every emotion the professor felt could so clearly be read in his blue eyes. In addition, the all too obvious, what is your orientation question, made it clear that the man harbored some small hope. Erik hadn't meant for his words to sound so harsh though. He had been struggling all morning for the right phrases and he had contemplated putting off the conversation all together because surely there was no need to make the other man unhappy.

Erik could sense that Charles was pulling away from him inch by inch and he didn't know what he could say or what he could do to stop it. He told himself, it was better this way. The professor was a good, kind man; he would find better; he deserved better! Charles would recover from his little bout of infatuation. In any case fate had already decided how Erik's life was going to play out.

Charles cleared his throat with a short cough as he pulled himself to a sitting position. 'I'm afraid, the only thing that you can see in MY eyes is the desperate need to pee and the desire to find some breakfast.'

He was a bit pale but appeared to be perfectly composed as the older man gripped his arm and waist to assist him in sliding safety off the bed.

Erik would have to get the nurses to rack the bed lower because he didn't want the Englishman to hurt himself, climbing in and out. That's IF Charles ever wanted to sleep with him again! That sudden realization was so acutely depressing that he was momentarily distracted when the other man picked up the folder from off his stomach.

'I am going to put this in my safe unless you want to talk about it some more,' the professor asked cautiously.

Erik threw out his hand, suddenly having a desperate need to re-establish physical contact with Charles again.

He was hard pressed not to beg as the smaller man justifiably hesitated and relief as he has never known flooded his veins as Charles reached over to lace their fingers together.

'You shouldn't worry about how I feel,' the professor offered generously with only the slightest of quivers in his voice. 'I will be alright.'

Erik felt like lowest life form on earth when he heard the professor's voice break apart.

'Do you want to sleep with your folder again?' he asked solicitously.

Erik blinked in an attempt to clear his head. For a second, he thought the young man had asked him if he wanted to sleep with him again.

Did he want Charles to come back here and sleep with him or did he want to cuddle up with Shaw's folder? And what kind of fucked up person would actually weigh those two options in their mind?

'No. Please put it in your safe'. His vendetta with Shaw had caused quite enough pain and trouble for one day in his opinion. 'Thank you Charles, thank you for everything.'

The professor momentarily forgot how to breathe as Erik unexpectedly pulled him closer to press a soft kiss on the back of his hand.


	12. Friends and or lovers part1

**Anote**: I just feel to write something more light hearted this weekend.

Chapter 12- **Friends and or lovers part 1**

'Charles, you can stop moving around in the dark,' Erik called out. 'I'm awake.'

He had been sound asleep but the noise of the younger man as he shuffled a pile of papers coupled with some inventive cursing had woken him up. There was a sharp click as the professor switched on a table lamp and Erik reflexively grinned at the sight before him.

For some reason, Charles was standing in Erik's makeshift recovery room, half dressed for work in only his shirt and his boxers with a contrite expression plastered on his face.

'I am SO sorry, Erik,' he apologized distractedly as he once again began searching in a stack of papers on the desk. 'You wouldn't believe what is going on at the university!'

What Erik couldn't believe was how pale Charles' legs were! They looked like two little, white matchsticks.

The professor really needed to get out in the sun a little more. A sudden image of the younger man sunbathing with only a small square of towel popped into his head. Erik rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hand, trying to squash the thought. He had certainly woken up in a horny, restless mood this morning!

As per usual, Erik had an acerbic remark balanced on the tip of his tongue but he refrained because all things considered the older man was heartily relieved that they had been able to pull back their friendship from the proverbial fire. At least now Charles could look at him full in the face as opposed to a week ago when he only pretended to read the latest journal of theoretical applied genetics while sitting at his bedside. Erik was also immensely happy although a bit surprised that Charles seemed to be in no hurry to continue the conversation about their relationship or lack there of. It's not that he wasn't attracted to the young man; quite the opposite in fact.

To put it simply, it was complicated.

'What happened?' he asked curiously, carefully pulling himself up to a sitting position. 'You sound upset.'

Triumphantly the Professor pulled a thick folder from the pile.

'Thank you God!' he muttered fervently.

'The Dean of Psychiatry emailed me to suddenly schedule a meeting for eight o'clock THIS morning that he has been postponing for months,' he exclaimed, walking forward to the bed, 'in the MIDDLE of my vacation, no less! I don't consider myself paranoid but I swear the man has some vendetta against me.'

Erik snagged the printed material and titled it towards the light. _Genetic inheritance of mental disorders. _

'You have enemies Xavier?' the older man teased him lightly. 'I am all astonishment.'

The professor irritably grabbed the material back.

'Oh shut the fuck up Lehnsherr. I am not in the mood for your version of humor at this god forsaken hour of the morning.'

Erik had resolved never to admit this, but he loved it when Charles cursed. It made him seem less fragile somehow, a quality that the older man found desirable in a companion as overly sensitive people tended to severely tax his nerves. He snatched the book back.

'You need breakfast,' the older man declared, observing the cantankerous, mulish expression on the man's face. 'I can tell.'

'I don't have time for breakfast!' the smaller man cried out in frustration.

Erik held the book out of reach as the man made another mad grab for it. 'Look at me Charles! You have the time. You need to calm down.'

The smaller man sat down heavily on edge of the bed as the older man had reached up to cradle the side of his neck to keep him still. 'You have all the time you need.'

Erik felt a chill settle over him as he suddenly realized that this was the closest they had been ever since Charles had gotten out of his bed days ago. As a result, he didn't dare breathe while in striking contrast the younger man closed his eyes to take in some deep, calming breaths.

'You have all the time you need,' he repeated again, gingerly stroking the back of the man's exposed neck wanting to calm him but not wanting him to get spooked and shy away from him again.

It took him completely off guard when the smaller man leaned forward to rest his forehead against his; raising a hand to mimic Erik's caress.

He left it the Englishman to break their physical contact when he was ready.

'That was lovely,' Charles admitted unsurely. 'But did I step over the line? I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.'

The dim glow of the creeping dawn was just beginning to peep under the thick curtains. The reflected light made Charles' eyes sparkle as he waited for a response.

'You can never make me uncomfortable,' the other answered swiftly and firmly, 'Never. And while I have you here like this, I want you to know that…

Charles smiled encouragingly as he hesitated.

…I want you to know that I AM flattered that you like me so much. I should have told you before now. Sorry.'

That reply was too much for the professor's innate shy self confidence to handle so he looked away.

'Now while I LOVE seeing you in these boxer shorts…,' the older man began in a mock serious voice, 'I am giving you ten minutes to finish dressing and then come back here for some breakfast.'

'I have to re-read all this material Erik..!' the Englishman exclaimed anxiously as he jumped to his feet too preoccupied to be even concerned about his state of attire.

The older man extended his arm in a please-get-out-of-here gesture. 'The longer you argue with me….

And with that Charles dashed off to his room giving Erik a clear but unintentional view of how cute his behind was.


	13. Friends and or lovers part2

Chapter 13- **Friends and or lovers part2**

He gave up trying to fall back asleep about an hour after Charles finally left.

Placing his laced fingers over his stomach, he stared listlessly at the ceiling. After spending two years in prison it would take some time before he could fall asleep in a perfectly silent room again. He should get the younger man to set up a radio for him or perhaps a television set for the times when he was absent from the room. However, it had been the first time since he had arrived that Charles had left his side for so long. The room felt cold and unfriendly even though the sun was now fully up.

He hoped the professor's meeting was going well.

His eyes fell on the comfortable wing backed chair that the young man usually occupied when he was in the room and he snorted loudly at the unusual paraphernalia that made up the man's life. This included for instance piles of unmarked, short answer student essays stacked in a neat semicircle on the floor, a wooly plaid blanket draped on the chair back, a half finished cup of tea from his hurried breakfast this morning, and of course; a portable chest set, an ipod, one mug of marker pens, two open packs of jelly beans, the complete works of Tolkien with a few star trek novels mixed in for variety and approximately five different scientific papers.

With a despairing shake of his head, Erik wondered if Charles' bedroom also resembled this cosy rat's nest of junk.

He stretched out a hand to grasp the blanket. It was warm and fuzzy and a little thread bare in some places and he could faintly smell Charles' cologne on the material. The smell made him miss the man even worse than before. As he spread the blanket over his arms and chest he wondered curiously if it was an heirloom. Next he reached for the box containing the chess pieces and retrieved his king. Charles had politely offered him the choice and he had selected to play the black.

It might be a touch overdramatic to say but he believed that chess had saved their friendship.

At first, Erik had been eager to comply with Charles' request, pleased that he could positively respond to something that the other man wanted. A quarter hour of tutorial and Erik was playing his first game of chess. After awhile he soon found that he couldn't wait for Xavier to put down his student's work so that they could play again.

He hadn't won any games as yet and normally that wouldn't sit well with him but chess was a game of logic, strategy and intuition and he found no shame in losing to someone of Charles' obvious skill. His eagerness to master the game had caused them to play hour after hour until he couldn't keep his eyes open. Naturally, that also meant they spent hour after hour in each others company that they normally might not have done given the strained circumstances. As a result, time had eroded the hastily built protective walls Charles had erected and had softened the tension that thrummed through Erik's chaotic jumble of thoughts and feelings.

It had been the first time Charles had smiled in his direction in many days.

In the meantime, Erik had placed a few of the chess pieces on his stomach and was moving them around in some of the new patterns he had learnt when a curious scratching noise came from the closed door.

He didn't react the first time because he was sure that he had imagined the sound. But there was no mistake when the sound came again.

'Hello there! Is there someone at the door?' he called out.

A shaggy crop of hair that he hadn't seen since he had first arrived cautiously came around the door.

'I'm awake. Did Charles get there on time?' Erik asked, closing the chest set and putting it away on the professor's chair.

The tall, athletic man strode into the room, 'Yup, with time to spare. He wanted to me come in here and tell you thanks for organizing that travel mug of tea for him. You're his new super-hero.'

'Logan, right? What kind of chauffeur are you? Xavier didn't want to go with you at all. He says you drive like a maniac,' Erik informed in a harsh, unforgiving tone of voice.

As was his habit it would seem, the other man grabbed a spare chair and turned it so he could straddle the back.

'The professor thinks anyone who drives five miles over the speed limit drives like a maniac,' he retorted dryly. 'And I am not really the chauffeur. I only take him out in the town car when he has to represent the family at charity events, balls and all that other rich people stuff. Otherwise he normally drives himself'

It would appear that the Englishman had a whole other life that Erik didn't know anything about; one in which he wasn't a socially inept scholar. Not that Erik could really make a protest, as he wasn't ready to share all the parts of his life either but he had to wonder why the professor didn't talk about this aspect of his life more. It was almost like if Charles wished it didn't exist. So deep he was in his thoughts that it took him a moment to realize that Logan had been curiously studying him. 'Sorry, did you speak?'

'No,' he rumbled. 'But this came for you in the post.'

The other man reached into his jacket pocket and held out a postcard.

'BEHAVE!' was the only sentiment that Matt, his former prison mate, apparently wanted to convey. Erik exhaled noisily and shook his head as he read the one word printed in bold capitals on the back of the card.

'What's that all about?' his visitor inquired companionably, as he searched his other pocket to pull out his packet of cigars.

'A friend is reminding me of a promise I made to him,' Erik replied quietly fingering the prison stamp abstractedly, 'I seem to making a lot of promises these days.'

'It happens,' the other man mumbled around his unlit cigar.

'What?'

'It happens,' he repeated rising to his feet, 'especially when you stay in one place for a time. Are you going to be staying in one place for a while Lehnsherr?'

Erik's built in survival mechanisms kicked in as Logan stood over him in a seemingly casual but very effective threatening posture. It was clear that the man had his doubts and was taking a cautious approach which he himself would have done if the positions were reversed. He was fairly certain that only Charles' presence had kept the other man from pitching him out of the mansion!

His disbelief didn't really faze Erik though. Truth be told, he found it reassuring that the professor had someone of Logan's competency watching out for him.

The handy man nodded his head as Erik maintained a stony silence. He was happy that he didn't have to draw out a picture for the man to explain the situation. Lehnsherr knew he didn't trust him and Erik had clearly responded without words that he didn't give a fuck what he thought.

They would get along just fine.

'It was good that we had this talk,' Logan added out loud, 'Do you need anything before I go?'

'One of those cigars would be nice,' the patient requested.

Logan raised a skeptical eyebrow but after a moment he reached into his inside pocket for the pouch he carried them around in.

'We can't smoke inside the mansion,' he warned, offering him the bag so he could make a selection. 'Especially in here. The professor would have our heads in a noose.'

Erik sighed as he caressed the much-longed-for cigar in his fingers. 'What's so special about this room?

'This is his study.'

The other man raised himself on his elbows, looking around him with fresh eyes. He didn't know what to say. Nothing Charles did could surprise him anymore.

'This entire floor is his apartment actually,' the man added with a sweeping gesture.

Erik lay back down on his bed with a frustrated sigh. He wasn't sleepy and now without any Charles to talk to and play chess with, he was restless and miserable.

'Here. You better take back your cigar. The temptation would be too great,' the patient admittedly truthfully.

'How do you feel about wheelchairs?'

Erik stared at him blankly wondering if this was some new way of changing topics.

'Xavier pulled out some relic from the west wing of the mansion and had me see if I could get it up and running again. I can put you out on the balcony for an hour or so if you think you can manage it,' the handy man explained.

The other man narrowed his eyes at such an unexpected friendly gesture. Just as he was weighing if to come straight out and ask the sometime-chauffeur what was on his mind or adopt a wait and see attitude, Logan sat back down on his chair with a graceless thud apparently having reached some decision that he had been wrestling with.

'Look. The professor was in no condition to drive this morning and I appreciate how you insisted that I take him. Sometimes it's really difficult for me to keep an eye on him in a place this size. With him living up here on the second floor and me always somewhere on the grounds….sometimes I don't see him for days.'

'He doesn't take good care of himself,' Erik stated more as a fact than an actual question.

'No, he doesn't,' the other man confirmed in aggravated tones. 'He skips meals and over extends himself with his work.'

'He told me that you want him to exercise more.'

Logan straightened in surprise, clearly shocked that Charles had even been listening to his concerns about his lack of physical training. He clenched his fists as if he badly wanted to pound on something.

'Doctor says he can't run but he CAN swim and he should be doing so everyday!' he blurted out in a worried rush before he could stop himself. Abruptly he realized he had been sharing a lot of personal information about his employer and friend to a practical stranger. In fact now that he thought about it, except for Charles, this was one of the longest conversations he had had with anyone in a long time. That's if you didn't count the horses.

Wordlessly Logan handed the man back the cigar.

What was he thinking?

Yes, he wanted help with the professor to whom who he owed so much and Erik DID appear to have an unnaturally strong influence over the professor's decision making process. But only time would tell if this stranger, who now seemed comfortably settled in their midst, would turn out to be a valuable friend or deadly foe.


	14. Friends and or lovers part3

ANote: Boo hoo…no one is talking to me this weekend :( Anyhow, I might be busy next week so most likely I will post week after next. Take care!

Chapter 14- **Friends and or lovers part3**

Hurriedly, Charles stepped out his shoes and quickly tip toed through the apartment. While he DID find it unsettling to have missed Erik so much considering he had only been away for the morning, he had decided to just go with the feeling. Just because the older man wasn't interested, did not mean he had to change who he was and how he behaved. It was Erik's loss as far as he was concerned. However, the professor looked down worriedly at the bakery box of tiramisu that he had gotten for the recovering patient.

On their return journey, the Englishman had caused Logan to stop in the local patisserie shop while he hopped out of the car to pick out something. It was very typical of him to purchase some flowers or fruit just to brighten someone's day, but he didn't want to push the man away by crowding his personal space. Erik had shown a marked willingness to haul their friendship back on an even keel, and he didn't want to jeopardize that. But still, he HAD to thank him for being so thoughtful and encouraging this morning, didn't he?

'I am NOT changing who I am!' the younger man told himself fiercely, clutching the gift firmly in his hand and marching into Erik's room as if going into a war. If the other man had a problem with the way he liked to buy people presents then he would have to suck it up. This was his house, dammit!

Charles stupidly stared at the empty hospital bed, 'Erik?'

He let out a sigh of relief when he heard the man call out to him from the balcony. This was fantastic! He was recovering so well. Erik was able to sit up for longer and longer periods without getting dizzy. Had he successfully walked out to the balcony for himself? The doctors had said that except for the five stitches in his head the man was in excellent health. Normally it would have made Charles' week, to see the other man sitting in the sunlight surrounded by pots of colorful spring flowers wearing an unusually warm and welcoming smile on his face. As it was, the bakery box slid from his nerveless fingers and hit the ground with a plop.

'Charles what's wrong?' the older man cried out in concern, 'are you ill?'

Erik attempted to wheel himself forward and decided that it would just be easier for the other man to close the distance. He held out both hands but judging from the blank expression on his face, it was clear that the young man's thoughts were very far away.

'Charles! Come here to me NOW!' he ordered sharply as the man swayed shakily and he was relieved to see him stumble forward.

The second that he had both of the professor's hands in his, he pulled him down gently to his knees so that they could be at eye level.

'Hey,' Erik said softly, giving the soft, little hands an encouraging squeeze. 'You look like you've seen a ghost.'

The older man watched anxiously, as the other broke his hold inorder to lay his hands along the wheelchairs' armrest.

'I HAVE seen a ghost,' the Englishman replied in a soft, cryptic whisper.

It was clear to Erik now that this was once Charles' wheelchair but judging from its age, it wasn't a recent purchase. How old was the young man when some dreadful circumstance had forced him into this metal prison? He thought his life was complicated but each new day revealed some unexpected layer to the professor's life.

'How long?' he asked sympathetically.

The professor smiled sadly because indeed, what really was one to do in the face of such memories. He pointed to some faint scratches that on the inside of the frame. 'I was in this wheel chair for exactly eight months, and five days and it is certainly a nauseating feeling seeing you in it, my friend!'

He wasn't really good at comforting people but he rested his hand on one of Charles', offering him his silent companionship, as the smaller man's mind wandered back to a time that guessing from his strained expression, was one of great physical and mental anguish.

Erik smiled when the other man finally looked up. If there was one thing that he would always remember about the professor was the beautiful colour of his eyes. 'I was just startled Erik. I am alright. I'm glad Logan was able to restore the chair for your use.'

'Were you in an accident?'

'No,' he confessed. 'I wasn't a very healthy child. I had some issues with a bad cold and then with my back. It took a while for the doctors to sort me out.'

The older man felt a little flutter of disquiet in his stomach as he recalled the earlier conversation he had with Logan. Had he not mentioned something about doctors? 'You would tell me if you are not feeling well, won't you Xavier?'

The professor was beginning to realize that the other man alternated between his two names depending on his mood; Xavier when he was surprised, stressed or annoyed and Charles for everything else.

'Charles?'

The older man leaned in even closer as the Englishman failed to respond.

'You care about me a lot don't you?' the professor teased lightly, trying to diffuse the emotional moment with some humor.

Their faces were only inches apart and Charles was finding some trouble breathing under Erik's intense, could he say, almost smoldering look.

'Yes,' the older man replied simply.

Yes. Yes what? The professor had forgotten what they had been discussing. Was he supposed to say something now? The only thing he knew was how hard his heart was beating as he focused on the pair of lips hovering right above his. All he had to do was move in a little closer and they would be his. He was so close he could smell the spearmint from the toothpaste that the older man favoured!

He was abruptly woken from his zombie like state when Erik gripped him hard on his shoulder.

'Um…yes. Yes I will. Yes I promise I will,' the younger man babbled incoherently, having regained his senses. Oh buckets, how mortifying! He was like some giant hormone around the taller man.

The ex-prisoner raised his eyes to look over Charles' head.

'Should we come back, Master Erik?' a polite, voice discreetly inquired.

Oh god.

With a little groan of embarrassment the Englishman turned around to find his entire kitchen staff in the doorway, staring at them in avid curiosity.

'I told them to hold lunch until you arrived,' Erik explained waving them forward to go ahead and set the table.

Quietly and efficiently they laid out the plates and silverware while one of the girls picked up the bakery box and laid it on a side table with the extra dishes and in a twinkling they disappeared in a flutter of black suits and white aprons.

In the interim, Charles had tried to rise to his feet but Erik pushed down on his shoulder keeping him in place. As they waited for the servants to disperse, the younger man could feel himself flush uncomfortably. Twice in one day he had crossed the line into the man's personal space and although Erik had assured him that he was not bothered by it this morning, he wasn't sure what the man was going to say now. The professor would pay good money NOT to hear what he had to say!

Finally Erik turned to him with an expectant look and Charles stared back in confusion, the guinea pig inside of him still wanting to run for the hills. The older man raised an eyebrow at his continued silence. 'Have you changed your mind about kissing me?'

The Englishman opened his mouth to respond but of course no sound came out. His mind had gone completely blank.

'May I?' and without waiting for permission, Erik reached out and placed two fingers under his chin, titling Charles' face to his before pressing his lips delicately against those of his kneeling companion's. 'I never let a kiss go to waste.'

His caress was so gentle that Charles couldn't stop the tears that had started to gather in his eyes. He was completely overwhelmed that Erik could be capable of such indescribable tenderness in his touch.

TBC


	15. Friends and or lovers part4

**Author's note**: Hey everyone. I have had a general request for a little more romance. I will try and put in a caress here and there, but I am not really good at writing explicit romance scenes. Sorry about that.

For _duskkkk._

Chapter 15 –**Friends and or lovers part4**

Politely, the professor had asked if he could wheel him over to the lunch table.

He had agreed.

The older man then proceeded to share out the meal for the both of them.

Charles answered with civil murmurs of 'yes more potatoes, please,' and 'no thank you' for any additional sauce.

Apart from that the Englishman sat in tense silence with his eyes fixed on his plate while Erik tightly gripped the handle of his knife to prevent himself from stabbing the table repeatedly in frustration. If he was alone he would have, but he thought such behaviour MIGHT scare the living daylights out of the other man. He didn't know how it could make the present situation worse though.

Charles was upset and again, it was all his fault!

All through the morning, Erik had missed the man's company and was eagerly waiting for him to return so that they could have lunch together. He had even organized with the staff to set a table outside on the balcony and they had readily agreed, offering him respectfully congratulations on his rapid recovery. But now, what was suppose to be a happy event where for the first time in a long time he was out of bed, Charles was miserably pushing his food around his plate.

The older man had decided that he was NOT apologising. Why should he? Charles had wanted to kiss him first! The soft, panting noises that the other man had made as he stared hungrily at his lips, had almost swept away every good intention Erik had made since the first instance he realized how Charles felt about him; a moment which ironically also revolved around a stolen kiss.

However, at some point in the future he was going to have a stern talk with the professor. One didn't kneel on the floor, in front a man and make noises like THAT and not expect some reaction. It was a damned good way to get raped as far as he was concerned and Charles should be forever grateful it was him and not someone else who might have taken advantage. But there was a part of Erik that was seriously concerned that he could get so turned on by something as mild mannered as a school teacher. If that was the case, he seriously needed to get laid but even as he reflected on the idea he knew he would never do that to Charles, not while the other man was so graciously sheltering him in his home. He was many things but he wasn't cruel.

When his parole was finished and provided that the other man was still interested, Erik had already decided he wouldn't leave without making love to Charles. He knew he had within him the ability to provide the Englishman with a pleasurable experience and besides that he wanted the professor to have some good memories of him. In the meantime, Erik had resolved that as the older and no doubt more sexually experienced of the pair, it was his responsibility to protect Charles from himself.

To be truthful, Erik would not have said no to, as his American acquaintances had explained it, a friendship with benefits. However, he was fairly certain that the professor wouldn't participate in something like that. What he did know for sure was that the professor was deeply attracted to aspects of his personality (for whatever strange reason) but was not capable of navigating the vast difference between love and sex. The latter was all conjecture of course, based on Charles' homely-like nature. For all he knew, the professor could already have a husband somewhere with a boyfriend or two stashed in another part of the mansion but Erik highly doubted the accuracy of that scenario.

Charles probably thought he was hiding it so well, but Erik could clearly see the naïve dreams of forever in his eyes and hence the reason that he had warned Xavier not to do this to himself. If the Englishman was looking for that level of commitment he would not find it in his direction. Even now, as Erik glanced at Charles seasoning his potatoes, he worried that the other man was already picking out their wedding invitations in his head. The older man snorted silently in disbelief, amazed that he could be so arrogant in his thinking. He should be gratified that someone of Charles' quality would even look at him twice.

The younger man cleared his throat and proceeded to make a valiant attempt to enjoy his meal. In contrast, Erik continued to quietly freak out that somehow, someway….while he blithely thought he was in control of the situation, the small man had wormed his way past his defenses with his soft voice and gentle ways. The realization made a sickening wave of goose bumps break out on Erik's skin.

Erik had never let a man or woman get so close that they could distract him to the point where he lost control of his actions. But Charles had NEVER given him any reason for fear or uncertainty and as a result he had relaxed his personal rules, and hadn't bothered to push him away or keep him at a distance. Thank God, the kitchen staff had turned up when they did! It had given him the seconds he needed to pull himself together. Even so, it had still taken all of his remaining self control not to force Xavier's head back and shove his tongue down the man's throat.

He had to admit that the kiss, fleeting as it was, had been wonderful. It had been too long since he had felt the pure, sensual thrill of an enjoyable sexual encounter. Those precious moments had ignited his blood like a glass of expensive scotch; rich, warm and delicious. He especially liked how Charles had kept still and let him taste his lips. With a delightful shiver, he wondered if the professor would submit to his caress again even though he knew they shouldn't. Each additional kiss would further blur the line between friends and lovers.

Erik viciously speared the carrots in his plate. He couldn't hurt the professor like this! He was strong; he would be strong enough for them both.

He looked up then because he could feel Charles' eyes were on him. However, this time the professor didn't look away or back down at his plate. He seemed transfixed in his chair. A few seconds ticked by before Erik realized that he was waiting for him to speak.

Gah!

Why didn't Charles say something? He was much better at the art of conversation than he was and as if reading his mind, the professor unexpectedly extended his arm across the side of the table and held out his hand towards Erik. The older man looked down at the small white hand that was waiting for his and he was reminded of another instance when the positions had been reversed and it was he who had extended a pleading hand towards Charles, searching for physical contact in the midst of a difficult discussion.

Laying his knife to one side, the older man extended his arm and covered Charles' palm with his.

'Are you mad at me?' the professor tried to ask in a normal sort of voice.

He felt Charles' fingers spasm under his hand.

'No, I am not!' Erik replied more harshly than he had intended. 'I am mad at myself.'

The younger man turned pale, as apparently his worse fear had been transformed into excruciating reality, 'You regret kissing me! I know you did, don't try and deny it!'

Erik forced himself to look directly into the professor's pain filled eyes. 'I have no wish to deny it. I have absolutely no business kissing you Charles and you shouldn't have let me. '

The Englishman promptly dropped his gaze down to the table but that didn't prevent Erik from noticing the icy sticks that used to be the young man's fingers. Immediately, the older man briskly began massaging the small hand in an attempt to warm them even as the professor blindly shoveled some food into his mouth with the other.

Shit! Shit! SHIT!

Don't cry.

Please, don't cry.

'You remember I said I am not staying after my parole,' Erik tried again. 'You understand that means I can't offer you a real relationship?

The smaller man fiddled with his spoon, still trying to swallow a mouthful of potatoes that now strangely tasted like sawdust. 'Your parole is close to six months. A lot can happen in that time.'

Erik tightened his hold on the other man's hand and he felt Charles automatically do the same. 'I assure you my friend; I am NOT going to change my mind about leaving.'

Underneath his gruff and sometimes changeful manner, the younger man could perceive that his friend appreciated and perhaps even favoured his company but he couldn't understand why Erik wouldn't even give the IDEA of a relationship a chance. 'And this is all because of your friend Shaw?' Charles inquired curiously, straining to understand Erik's uncompromising logic.

An echo of gunfire; cold and dark, warped through from Erik's past and into the present, harshly intruding on the peaceful domestic scene before him. The professor's innocent little remark, no doubt pieced together from the half a dozen or so times he had asked the older man about Shaw and failed to draw him out fully, had caused his reality to tip violently on its side. He felt as though the younger man had reached across and dug deep into his chest with his bare hands.

Sweet, innocent, loving Charles.

Why was he doing this to him?

Why?

TBC


	16. Friends and or lovers part5

Chapter 16- **Friends and or lovers part5**

'He is NOT my friend!' Erik screamed out, dragging his arm away fully intending to push away from the table and make his escape, when the professor unexpectedly lunged across the small space trapping his retreating left hand underneath both of his.

'NO Erik! No! Do not shut me out again.'

Erik stared away in the opposite direction struggling not to lash out verbally or physically at the other man. His forehead popped out in a cold sweat as faint tremors began to run along his neck and arms so great was the effort that it took to keep his dark emotions from swamping his mind. He wished with every fiber of his being that he was somewhere else, somewhere private so he could marinate in his pain and his memories. He didn't want anyone to see him like this! Experimentally he flexed his forearm trying to test the strength of the smaller man's hold. Charles' grip wasn't strong but Erik was terrified to try and break free. He would never forgive himself if he injured the professor.

'Logan told me that you received a postcard today from your friend Matt. That was very nice of him to send you a card, wasn't it?' the younger man quickly rattled off. 'What did he say? Is he well? He seems to think the world of you!'

'Charles, please let go of my hand.'

He felt rather than saw the smaller man shake his head in refusal.

The older man turned around then to face his dining companion and the professor fought the urge to recoil. Erik's eyes had shifted to an impossibly dark shade of grey. There was not one trace of awareness in their depths.

'If I let you go, you will leave me,' Charles breathed out unsteadily, starting to feel the strain of his inferior strength when matched with the man at his side.

The corners of Erik's lips tilted upwards in a strange, sinister smile, 'And you'll never know unless you let go.'

His shock when the Englishman casually released his arm was so great that it cooled his fury and shriveled it into nothingness. He looked across into Charles' face but saw nothing but quiet resignation and acceptance. 'Quite right my friend, I'll just wait here for you.'

'You will?' Erik repeated stupidly.

With the meal forgotten, the professor folded his cloth napkin and laid it to one side. 'I will.'

Erik had his wheel chair half turned towards the doorway but made no further attempt to leave, 'You mean here? You are going to just sit here and wait for me?' The young man smiled engagingly, even as the older man continued in his campaign to glare the soul out of his body.

'I always let my students come to me, Erik. My door is open when you are ready to talk about this Shaw character.'

Vividly, he remembered that Charles had done this to him before; on the day they had first met in fact. The younger man had tapped into some inner well of strength and released his fear, as if he had already looked into the future and knew that everything was going to turn out all right in the end. The result was like a warm blanket thrown around Erik's shoulder; soothing and quieting the beasts that lived within his heart.

'Only my mother has ever been able to do that for me,' Erik surprisingly confessed. 'Switch off the anger, the way you do.'

The smaller man nearly fell out in his chair in astonishment. It wasn't every day that the older man discussed his personal matters. 'Perhaps….perhaps I can meet her some day. I would like that very much.'

Erik shook his head despondently, 'She past.'

'Oh,' Charles whispered sadly, reaching out one hand but drawing back at the last minute. 'I am so sorry that you lost her. Were you close?''

'To me, she was the most beautiful woman in the world,' the older man revealed with a brightening smile. Usually the older man could only see her through a lens of pain and heartache but today, he only felt the sweetness of remembering, sitting in the cold brilliant sunlight, looking into a friend's compassionate and interested face.

She always told him that he didn't need a lot of friends; he just needed the one. She would have loved Charles.

'Do you have any other family?' the Englishman asked cautiously, stepping carefully as if to avoid trigging another episode of yelling.

It pained Erik deeply to see the smaller man look at him so warily. It always did. Giving himself a mental smack on the head for his uncouth behaviour, he tucked his wheel chair neatly under the table and picked up his discarded fork.

'Not if you don't count Matt who is twelve years my junior and treats me like an idiot kid brother,' the taller man deadpanned in a flat voice.

As he had intended, Charles snorted with laughter. 'As young as he is, it is not inconceivable that he IS someone's older brother.'

And of course, being the unsociable troll that he was, Erik had never bothered to enquire. With a wordless gesture he invited Charles to resume eating.

'He appears to be quite an amiable and pleasant sort and the fact that he knows left to your own devices translates to you being up to your eyebrows in mischief, tells me he has a good head on his shoulders,' the professor remarked with a innocent twinkle. 'What exactly is his crime again? I can't remember you saying.'

Erik scooped up some of his pasta with his fork, pointedly ignoring the professor's facetious comment at his expense. The way the Englishman sometimes teased him was quite peculiar. It was one thing for Charles to accidentally say something to trigger his anger but to deliberately toy with his temper? The older man found that he was at quite a loss as to how to respond to such provocative remarks. 'He sold pirated DVDs.'

'People get arrested for that?' the smaller man asked incredulously.

The other man shrugged, 'I guess the judge wanted to make an example of him. Short sentence, he'll be out before my parole is done.'

Charles scraped away at his plate with renewed appetite, 'Remind me when it is time. We should go and meet him at the prisons. He may need a place to stay.'

Erik looked up abruptly.

He had been SO wrong. The professor still had the power to surprise him.

The older man extended his arm and laid it across the table as before; a gesture which temporarily went unnoticed as Charles was busy rebuilding a salad in his plate.

'Why would you do that?' Erik asked in deep puzzlement.

'Well, if I don't pull out the tomatoes now, the bread gets all soggy,' the professor explained pointing out the offending vegetable with his fork.

A sharp rap on the table with the back of his hand was enough to get Charles' attention and he quickly realized his error.

'Any friend of yours is welcome here,' he offered simply, as if it was the most natural conclusion in the world to make.

The taller man looked positively flabbergasted by his reply. Had he said something wrong? The house was as much his as it was now Erik's. Of course Matt was welcome!

Once again Erik rapped his fingers on the table and this time Charles' eyed the outstretched hand unsurely. Hadn't the older man just broadly hinted that being more than friends was completely out of the question? Tentatively he reached across and rested his smaller hand on Erik's open palm. The older man made no move to hold him but the professor could sense a shift in his mood. He wanted Charles to be a little closer to him; just for awhile at least.

'Thank you,' the ex-prisoner mumbled quietly.

Why was Erik thanking him? Had he missed a piece of the conversation trying to get his salad just right?

In return, Charles gravely tapped his index finger on the side of his nose, 'But not Shaw. He is not a friend and therefore he is most definitely NOT welcome.'

For years Max Eisenhardt, now Erik Lehnsherr had moved from place to place, simultaneously executing one financial scheme after the other to fund his hunt for his nemesis Shaw. He had never spoken of his life long personal vendetta with anyone in his life but now, not only did his little friend have Erik's folder in his safe, he had allowed Charles to look at the information within and currently they were lightly bantering about the matter over cold cuts, salads and potatoes. Just knowing that he had the Englishman's ear; of having some partial support in the matter was like a great burden being lifted off his shoulders; a gift of immeasurable value.

How truly strange his life had become!

'No. He is not welcome at all,' Erik confirmed in a low whisper.

TBC

(last part of this lunch tomorrow)

**Author's note:** My best friend is laughing her head off at my elbow because I couldn't think of more exciting crimes for Erik and company. Grrr…why do I keep her around? Lol.

Anyhow, it's a Fassbender weekend on HBO! Tonight (Sat) he is in Xmen: First class with the lovely James, and tomorrow (Sun) he is starring in Jane Eyre as the mysterious and brooding Mr. Rochester.

Yay! I can't wait.


	17. Friends and or lovers part6

**Anote:** Last one in this series

Chapter 17- **Friends and or lovers part6**

'And what is that?' Erik asked craning his head forward to catch a glimpse inside the bakery box that Charles was looking into with a depressed sort of scowl.

The younger man put the box to one side without a word and once again, as he had been doing throughout the meal, he moved his hand over to cover that of his companion.

The entire length of Erik's left arm had turned numb a long time ago, but except for whenever Charles had needed his two hands (and there he took the opportunity to clench his fist to restart blood circulation) he had not bothered to remove it. The act made him feel as though he was actively providing comfort and support albeit on a smaller scale than what Charles, with his lavish purse and large house, could potentially provide.

Nevertheless, the professor seemed quite content with Erik's small offering. He wasn't bouncing around in his chair in giggly happiness (which would have made Erik gag in any case) but instead quietly facilitated the effort by voluntarily slicing meat and vegetables and transferring across to Erik's plate so that they both could progress through the meal in spite of his self imposed handicapped state.

He had already told Xavier that he was accepting his offer to wait until he was ready to discuss Shaw. The older man felt a little guilty about boxing Charles in a corner, using the man's generous nature to his advantage. The younger man understandably looked worried but of course had graciously consented, as Erik knew he would. He wished he could say something more reassuring but he desperately did not want to compound his offense by laying down one lie after the next. For better or for worse, Charles' good opinion meant something to him and he wished to hold on to it for as long as possible. He knew it couldn't be for too long.

However, returning to their conversation regarding the unsettled state of their relationship was not so easy. Every time he opened his mouth, nothing came out. He knew what he wanted to say but he didn't know how to say that it was because he cared that he was being such a dick. Charles was no better as he determinedly steered the conversation to more neutral topics of the university and current international political and social events.

Like a pair of reluctant boxers, they circled and feinted but in the end backed away; both loathe to upset the pleasant afternoon with what was sure to be another resounding, noisy squabble.

'It's tiramisu, a thank you for your help this morning. It's all smushed from where I dropped it. Give it here and I'll throw it away and buy you something else,' Charles explained, after his futile attempt to hold on the damaged dessert had failed.

The older man raised a perplexed, exasperated eyebrow.

'Don't lecture Erik,' the other man sighed, helping himself to some tea. 'I buy presents all the time for people.'

'Grab a plate,' the older man ordered and he tipped out the confection, where it lolled out looking a little pathetic on Xavier's expensive white china. 'That doesn't sound like you Charles, to throw away something because it's a little beaten down.'

The professor's eyes sparkled as he handed Erik a spoon, his lightening quick mind having quickly deciphered the older man's double meaning.

'You know me too well, my friend,' he replied in kind. Not even when all hope was gone would he give up on someone who needed him.

In the meantime as his tea cooled, he watched in pleasure as the taller man sampled his gift. Most people would have said 'thank you' or 'you shouldn't have', but Erik had offered neither of those conventional platitudes. Instead he responded in his particular arch manner; a teasing deflection when he said one thing and meant something else entirely. It gave the professor a pure rush of adrenaline to match his mental wits with the other man, and each time he successfully deciphered a cleverly couched riddle, he felt a thrill of satisfaction.

And with all things that affected adrenaline, it was becoming addictive. As he continued to stare, Charles abstractedly gnawed on his knuckle while the finger tips of his other hand unconsciously traced a small circle on the inside of Erik's wrist. He was becoming increasingly drawn in by the other man's complexity and un-conventional ways; the way Erik had just licked his spoon, for instance.

Fuck!

He swiftly removed his hand from Erik's under the pretense of holding his hot cup of tea. Had the other man done that on purpose? No, no, that would make no sense, the younger man reasoned as he shifted around uncomfortably in his chair trying to relieve the sudden tightness in his pants.

'Charles, can I ask you something?'

Erik looked across in surprise as the other man started so violently that it caused the entire table to shake.

'I'm fine,' the Englishman reassured him, waving at him to continue his question.

'Does that chauffeur of yours, know that you bought this cake for me?' the older man asked unexpectedly.

The professor opened his hands in helpless confusion, not bothering to answer such a strange question immediately, as it was evident that the older man had something on his mind.

'I've spoken to him a few times and Logan is very protective of you,' Erik proceeded to explain further. 'What exactly is the nature of your relationship?'

It was Charles' turn to arch a perplexed eyebrow, 'Nothing like what you are thinking.'

Leaning forward to press the point the other man asked again. 'Charles, are you sure?'

Unpleasant memories that he thought he had forgotten suddenly intruded, as the Englishman took a moment to sip his tea. The fact that it was still scalding hot didn't even garner his attention.

With a deliberate effort he replaced the cup gently in its saucer. 'You sound like my ex-. If anything male so much as looked at me he was annoyed.'

Charles looked across to judge a response but the other man's face was nonjudgmental yet interested, encouraging him to speak further of matters that were both a source of acute embarrassment and irritation to him now. 'At first I thought it was lovely that…that David was so jealous but not so much after awhile.'

The older man companionably held out his empty coffee cup to the other man. 'In my experience, I have found that anyone who constantly accuses someone, is more than likely guilty of the offense themselves.'

The look on the younger man's downcast expression said it all.

Really?

What kind of bastard would cheat on someone like Xavier? First he was a complete moron, because men like Charles were rare enough and two, refer to point one.

Erik shook his head in wry amusement as the smaller man scrunched his nose as he poured the coffee. He was just waiting for Charles to say for the hundredth time, 'Erik love, how can you drink that rancid swill?'

'I am not jealous or annoyed, I only ask because your man is not someone who I want to get on the wrong side of,' he prodded more gently this time.

The professor smiled in understanding, knowing how prickly and overbearing his loyal servant sometimes behaved especially to strangers. 'Well like your Matt, John doesn't think I have the good sense that God gave puppies. He was looking for a job, broke David's nose and never left after that.'

'John?'

'That would be Logan to you. Oh for the love of God, why are you smiling Erik? Violence is never the answer. He could have handled the situation another way!

Erik snorted in disbelief. A punch in the face was exactly how he would have handled the scenario and he would emulate the handyman actions to the letter if he ever caught the man's ex-, sniffing around Charles or the mansion in the future.

The younger man furtively looked over his shoulder and then beckoned for Erik to lean in closer.

'You didn't hear it from me but Logan is in way over his head with the widow Jean from the village,' the younger man whispered excitedly. 'She's got him all tied up in knots, the poor schmuck.'

'You are such an old lady Charles!' Erik roared in delight. 'I can't believe you are a gossiping about the help.'

The Englishman pulled back looking utterly mortified at the observation, but eventually broke down in a reluctant smile as the older man continued to shake with silent laughter. It was good to see Erik enjoying himself so much. He didn't really smile often enough to suit Charles' liking.

'He is not "The Help", John Logan is my friend,' the professor corrected the other man, gently but firmly.

Erik held his hands up in a gesture of surrender as the Englishman squinted playfully at him and with a sharp jerk he cracked every bone in his left arm and folded it comfortably infront of him, further amused to see Charles visibly wince at his actions.

'Here. Help me with this cake,' the older man requested, handing the Englishman a fresh spoon.

He was exceptionally displeased when the small man refused and as per usual, his temper ignited quicker than dried kindling. 'I find skinny men deeply unattractive,' Erik noted in a querulous tone of voice, taking a vicious stab at the professor's modest physical attributes.

He didn't like it one bit when the Englishman disagreed with him and unconsciously he fell back on his old habits of humiliation and intimidation to ensure co-operation. If it wasn't for the unexpected flash of annoyance in Charles' eyes, the words that the man muttered under his breath, would not have fully coalesced in Erik's mind.

'What was that? Look at me when you want to make a point, Xavier!' the older man stated sharply.

The smaller man looked up quickly in astonishment. He was becoming accustomed to the eddies and currents of Erik's temper but the sudden shifts still startled him.

'Why do you care if I am skinny or not? It's not like you want to be with me!' he repeated in a louder voice, shouting the last past just so that it would twist in deep.

Charles' own words and tone of voice so astounded him, that his jaw dropped open in shock. Not until he had said the words out loud did he really come to understand how upsetting Erik's rejection of him was.

However, the professor had other pressing concerns as the older man had turned brick red. He shouldn't have said what he just did especially in the WAY he said it. Charles could almost see the proverbial wisps of steam curling from the tips of his ears.

'I NEVER said that I didn't want to be with you!'

And it was a surprise and yet no surprise at all, when Erik picked up the plate of dessert and flung it furiously at the wall.

'For an educated man how could you be so foolish? If you really paused to examine my motives, my refusal to sleep with you is an indication of how much I care, how much I …' Erik stuttered to a halt as if the thread of his conversation was suddenly cut with a pair of giant scissors. 'Do not EVER dare presume to put words in my mouth again!'

Charles slumped in his chair studying his shoes, too overcome by his fractured emotions too look up or even speak. Since his childhood, he had a bad habit of always wanting people to like him and would go to great lengths to try and be on good terms with everyone. It didn't matter if he wasn't in the wrong; it made him physically ill to have another person think badly of him.

He nodded dumbly as after a few minutes of tense silence, Erik apologized in a low voice.

Maybe it was best if they just played chess and didn't try to speak at all. He looked up then and it broke his heart to see the older man hiding his face in both his hands.

'Erik?'

'What?'

'I just want you to know, that I think you're a great kisser.'

With a deep sigh and a small smile, the older man looked up and half heartedly pelted his crumpled napkin in Charles' direction.

'You're not so bad yourself, Xavier.'


	18. The intervention part1

Chapter 18- **The intervention part1**

Even though Erik's intention was to wake Charles, the cool, dim silence of the man's bedroom unconsciously influenced him to quiet and subdue his approach, causing him to push the wheelchair as noiselessly as one could possibly manage over a wooden floor. A vagrant thought, that perhaps a dripping wax candle in an antique holder would have been more befitting of his early morning 'stroll' through the professor's home, entered his mind as the floorboards creaked and popped under his weight. However, Erik made do with his small borrowed torchlight, casting it towards the high ceiling bathing the bedroom in artificial light. Verifying his bearings, he clamped the small device between his teeth and wheeled forward confidently until he was alongside the large bed, made even larger by the diminutive size of the occupant, half buried under a mountain of pillows and quilt.

For a few moments Erik drank in the unexpectedly peaceful sight of the professor's face resting on its side on the snowy white pillowcase. Lately he had been seeing far too much exhaustion, worry and unhappiness marked in Charles' expression, which he felt was in no small part due to his presence in the mansion. There were some sleepless nights when the older man believed that it may have been better for everyone if had just stayed at the parole house as Gerard had suggested. Erik looked and looked until a large part of his sprit wished that he really didn't have to be the one to do this. Giving himself a mental push to break free of the parallelizing spell, he reached out to press his open palm firmly on Charles' back. He had thought of calling out to the younger man or shaking him awake but he hoped this method, being a more gradual and gentle approach, would win for him a cooperative Xavier instead of the unreasonable, crotchety personality that usually manifested itself in the morning hours.

With a little intelligible gurgle, the younger man awoke and gradually looked around to investigate the pressure behind him.

'Erik?'

He waited patiently as Charles slowly turned over and became more self aware.

'What time is it?' the young man asked staring around his room with a bleary, unfocused expression.

The moment of truth.

'Five thirty. Good morning Charles.'

'Good morning,' he replied automatically in a soft, calm voice.

The professor blinked sleepily up at him and confusion clouded his eyes as he looked Erik over, sitting in his wheel chair lamp in hand, enveloped in a heavy warm dressing gown. As he stifled a gigantic yawn behind his hand, the young man thought the dark coloured robe suited the man's fair colouring perfectly.

'Charles, I am going out for some air and perhaps even try for a walk,' the older man unexpectedly announced. 'Come with me.'

With a look of incredulous disbelief accompanied by a loud pitiful moan, the Englishman rolled over on his stomach and proceeded to bury himself further into the warmth and softness of his mattress. 'Erik, you know that I love you, but if you not here for sex, please GO AWAY!'

The older man released a low chuckle in his throat at Charles' muffled but feisty response, his eyes focusing on the small butt poking up like that of a petulant four year old under the covers. The young man was so darned cute at times that it was almost irresistible. In another time and place, Erik was convinced that they would have enjoyed each other thoroughly.

With another small shake of his head to dispel this sudden escalation of erotica, the older man reached out and began turning back the quilts as he methodically excavated the professor's strong hold. Naturally, the Englishman protested and weakly tried to slap Erik's hands away but it was no use, the older man would not be denied. While sex was a viable exercise option first thing in the morning, it was not the activity that he had in mind.

'Shhh…..' Erik commanded as he gathered the professor on his lap. 'You don't have to do anything. I will do it all.'

As the larger man slowly stroked his hair, Charles sighed in contentment snuggling up to this new, nice smelling source of heat.

'Dreaming?' he brokenly asked in sleepy bewilderment.

'Yes, dreaming,' Erik replied in low convincing voice. He waited a few seconds for the other man to find a comfortable place and between one breath and the next, Charles had fallen asleep.

Erik stared a little jealously at the small bundle tucked under his chin. He wasn't a big sleeper and as a result he had to be seriously ill or exhausted to the point of fainting to be able to do what Charles just did. Well at least that was one thing in the young man's favor he thought, as he tested the professor's weight in his arms; too light, far too light for a man who stood five feet with about the same amount of inches added on.

'You don't have to worry anymore,' Erik whispered confidently. 'I'll take care of you.'

Skillfully he wheeled around and headed to the elevators at the end of a long solitary corridor, the length of which encouraged his mind to wander briefly. It was surprising the kind of things you missed when they were no longer there.

Things like driving.

Erik had loved his car. He missed his car. Driving alone on some deserted stretch was one of his favourite ways to beguile a restless night; far less complicated than sex and just as relaxing. The professor's gleaming, state of the art elevator with its noiseless operation and effortless movement hinted at technology far beyond cutting edge and as he hit the button to descend, Erik fervently hoped this extended to the cars that Charles possessed. But for the time being he refocused on his current personal mission of intervention, which was presently being jeopardized as a certain someone had found a new exciting pastime.

Erik closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, as the smaller man nuzzled a path from his collar bone along his neck and across to graze his right ear. As he tried to lean away to escape from Charles' touch he wondered if the Englishman was hovering on the edge of dreaming or was awake and just didn't care what he was doing. He had to admit that in the past he never saw much point in foreplay but being around Xavier was rapidly convincing him that he may have been too hasty in dismissing the activity.

'Erik?' a soft but irritated voice called, as a pair of denied lips chased after the older man's warm flesh.

The other man resisted for about 1.2 seconds before he quickly ducked his head and turned to capture the soft mouth with his, dipping his tongue inside the moist warmth before pulling out hastily.

Hell!

Erik swallowed hard, as he looked down into the professor's slack, unresponsive face. If the small man had been awake before he wasn't now.

Shit! He was an old man; his heart didn't need this extra stress. Charles was going to be the death of him for sure!

As he hurriedly wheeled out the elevator and into the semi-dark mansion grounds, Erik had already decided that tomorrow morning, he was going to call and wake the professor using the telephone instead of trying to do it in person. Surely there had to be an easier way to get Charles to start back swimming!

TBC


	19. The intervention part2

**Anote:** I think its time someone got a pet name in this story :)

Chapter 19- **The intervention part2**

'Charles, you must wake now!' a familiar voice suddenly registered in his mind. 'Quickly, before the sun rises.'

The professor did not want to, especially as he was feeling so warm and comfortable but the corner of his brain that remembered that Erik had been injured responded to his request and his eyelids snapped open instantly to obey the call. With a grimace, he quickly hid his face in the older man's shoulder to block out the blinding light of dawn, even as Erik cradled the side of his face in one hand, nudging it in the next direction.

He was dreaming. He had to be. There was no other way to explain why he was sitting across Erik's lap in his wheel chair in the middle of his parent's rose garden.

'It is breathtaking!' the older man exclaimed as a soft mist still enveloped the bushes like decorative ribbons, despite the sun advancing quickly on the far horizon.

Charles couldn't agree more as he looked around although it had been years since he had seen the flowers at this early hour.

'Your mother must have truly loved your father to cultivate all these bushes for him,' Erik added in hushed tones, looking down at the Englishman. 'There must be hundreds of plants here.'

He was quick to observe the sad look that moved across the professor's face as he regarded the scene before him and without thinking he leaned over and rested his forehead supportively against that of the young man in his arms. Charles had told him about his deceased parents and Erik knew that the manner in which his mother had crawled into the bottle after his father's untimely death had probably left deep scars. At a very young age it was like if the young man had lost both parents and as Charles flashed him a quick smile, Erik wondered if that was one of the reasons that the professor sought out love and companionship almost desperately.

The Englishman pointed at some of the plants bordering the short flight of stone steps, 'She had the cuttings brought over from England and I helped her plant them from early morning till far into the night.'

He obediently looked in the direction that the young man indicated.

'But I like the orange ones the most,' he confessed and Erik agreeably wheeled closer to a plant of that hue.

As he presented Charles with one of the blossoms, as far Erik was concerned, if someone could transfer the colour of the professor's blush into a rose, THAT would be his favourite colour.

'I am not sure if it's my favourite or if it was because my father always picked them for my mother and arranged them throughout the mansion,' the Englishman chattered nervously, so astonished by the other man's actions that he had forgotten to say thank you. He couldn't for the life of him figure out what had come over Erik this morning.

The older man gave him a small squeeze on his arm as Charles stared up at him. 'What?'

'Why are we in our pajamas? Am I dreaming? Please say no,' the young man begged.

Completely irresistible.

'No, you are not dreaming,' Erik informed him looking off in another direction, in an attempt to hide HIS expression this time.

In the meantime, the smaller man instinctively curled in closer to the older man's chest as a cold wind blew in from the south rustling all the leaves around them in synchronous harmony. He also tucked his hands into the pockets of Erik's robe to keep them warm. While he was thrilled by, dare he even admit to himself, this unexpected romantic rendezvous, he wished that Erik had thought of taking a robe or at least a pair of slippers for him.

The older man seemed to be lost in deep thought and Charles was loathe to disturb with questions as bitter memory reminded him that Erik's temper could rapidly shifted almost by the second. It was safe to say that it was one of the least desirable characteristics about the other man.

Eventually however, the other man looked down at him, 'Ready to leave?'

He nodded his consent a little unsurely still trying to make sense of the mornings activities. As the older man neatly turned and wheeled away, Charles draped one of his arms over Erik's shoulder to better keep his balance, even as he turned his head to observe the play of the early morning light over the water of the swimming pool they were just passing.

'Actually as we are out here, and it's such a nice day, do you want to have a swim?' Erik asked in an off handed way, maneuvering close to one side.

'At this hour Erik?' Charles spluttered out in amused surprise, 'Umm…no thank you'

Spectacular!

Erik knew he should have just tossed him in earlier when he was still asleep.

Now what?

'Are you sure you won't re-consider?' he pressed persuasively, despite the fact that the young man was already shaking his head.

'I'm too sleepy to swim and I haven't even had breakfast as yet,' he protested, gesturing to the larger man to continue back into the house. 'Maybe later. Inside please.'

He almost lost his balance when Erik abruptly gripped his forearms.

'Careful,' he yelped even as the older man held him away from his chest. With a sudden clarity born of fear Charles was able to finally interpret the intent in his friend's eyes that up till now had remained hidden from his understanding.

'Oh, bloody hell! Did John put you up to this?' he inquired in a sharp voice.

'Why can you only swim? What's wrong with you?' Erik countered instead of replying.

The professor's nostrils flared as he exhaled in annoyance.

However, he eventually consented to open his lips inorder to give an answer. 'My back never really recovered and it's not strong enough for running.'

'Be angry with me if you have to be angry at someone,' Erik commented calmly, which of course deflated the smaller man's irritation that his manservant had been unusually indiscreet. The professor knew deep down under that grumpy exterior, Logan worried about and for him. However, while he was glad that these two important men in his life had found some common ground, he heartily wished they could have found another topic like football or wrestling to bond over, anything else but the inadequate amount of time he devoted to his health.

'I know I don't swim as much as I should,' the young man finally admitted with a little sigh as he looked at the water. 'I just get so caught up with things.'

Hah! Charles was making his point for him.

'It is exactly for that reason, why you should try in the morning!' Erik exclaimed triumphantly, turning the smaller man by his slim shoulders so he could see into his eyes.

The young man groaned and made a face, still not convinced.

'You're over thinking the whole issue. Here let me help you,' Erik remarked causally, as he dropped his arms to encircle Charles' waist in his large hands.

Wait.

'No! NO!' Charles cried out, desperately trying to scramble off the older man's lap which of course he knew was a fruitless endeavor but he had to try. 'Don't throw me in Erik!'

'Those puppy dog eyes are not going to work on me so direct them elsewhere. Good God Xavier, its just one length in the pool. Anyone would think I was asking you to run naked though the university!'

'Erik, please don't do this!' the small man pleaded again as he felt the resistance building where the older man held him. He was so strong, even in his injured state!

With a low growl of frustration he released him.

Dammit!

Charles was turning him into a marshmellow!

Fortunately, the small man choose to look relieved as opposed to smugly victorious, which helped to cool the anger that Erik could feel building.

Rage had always been his best tool, keeping him strong, focused and motivated and he had no wish to dull its keen edge but he also had no desire to wield it as readily as he always had especially in the professor's presence. But on the other hand, he was exceedingly concerned that when the time came he would not able to call upon his anger when he really needed it. It would be good when the Englishman's vacation came to a close and they would be out of each other's constant company.

With a single swift motion he lifted the small man and perched him on his knee to face him.

'Alright, how about you swim one length of the pool and in return I will give you a back massage,' the older man negotiated in his most influential voice. 'You will like that, won't you?'

Charles sniffed at his offering with magnificent disdain.

'Surely that is not the best you can do?' the young man queried. 'It's going to take more than that to get me into the water at this hour of the morning!'

The tall man turned pale and cold at the sneer in the other man's voice.

The Englishman was only teasing of course but he had forgotten that Erik hadn't really gotten the hang of this particular branch of humor as yet.

'And what would you have of me, my little one?' the older man asked in a soft pained voice. 'I have nothing to barter with. Everything I own, even what I wear now, you have provided.'

A strange indefinable look flitted through Erik's eyes as he placed his fingers over the professor's open mouth to prevent him from answering.

'I know what you want Charles,' he whispered as he cupped the back of the man's neck to bring him closer.

'Yes exactly!' the Englishman responded animatedly, 'Two back massages and one foot rub! You are reading my mind!'

He could see the confusion in the man's expression. Without doubt, Erik had been touched by some evil, sometime in his life staining his soul with a blot of darkness. Charles would not have minded trading a kiss for a pool length but that would have been just for a laugh.

He smiled merrily into Erik's face trying without words, to reach out to him and bring him back from the blackness to which he had momentarily strayed. He was pleased to see the other man visibly relax and look more like his normal self.

'I will try with the foot massage, but I am not sure how good I will be,' the other agreed complacently, leaning back in his chair folding his arms comfortably in his lap. It registered in his mind that Charles was now free to scuttle away, but he knew the professor's honor would never allow him to break an agreement once made. The young man wasn't built for such dishonesty. He wasn't built to manipulate people that were weaker than himself. Erik stared at the side of the Englishman's face as he leaned over him to carefully secure his orange rose in a seam at the back of the chair.

'You are a good person,' he confided into the small ear that lay so close to his mouth.

Charles stood up swiftly and stared down at the water. 'You will not think like that after I leave you a thank you toad under your pillow. I can't BELIEVE you tried to throw me into the water!'

The professor rested his clenched fists on his waist studying his current predicament. 'Do you think I should just jump or should I slide in? How cold do you think it is?'

He looked back but Erik calmly propped his head up on one hand offering no advice, apparently resting after the successful discharge of his duty.

'Perhaps I can go inside and change into some trunks?' the Englishman interjected hopefully.

'Stop procrastinating, Charles.'

With a little sigh he looked at the water again.

'Do you need a push?' the older man asked quietly, to which the other only grunted in reply.

Erik wheeled over and looked down at the watery figure splashing around indignantly, 'Sorry! I thought that was a yes.'

TBC


	20. The intervention part3

Chapter 20- **The intervention part3**

He was keeping one keen eye on the professor just in case, but the small man was holding his own as he expertly treaded the water around him.

'It's actually quite warm,' Charles remarked in some surprise. 'You can come in if you want.'

However, Erik turned to face the company he had anticipated as it quietly thundered up an adjacent pathway. When the Englishman had hit the water, his loud squawk of surprise had reverberated across the mansion grounds with a sharp, penetrating echo. What he didn't anticipate was that the Logan would turn the corner and be pointing a well maintained Sig Sauer at his head.

'Good God, John! Why do you have a gun?' Charles yelped in surprise.

'Excuse me?' Erik interjected in quiet disbelief, keeping perfectly still with his arms outstretched, 'How about saying something along the lines of don't point that thing at my friend's head.'

The ex-prisoner murmured in annoyance as the handyman rested a heavy painful hand on his shoulder, warning him to keep still.

'Alright there Charles?' he asked quickly, bright focused eyes darting around seeking any potential threats.

Erik's gaze were caught by the glint of Logan's previously unnoticed, dog tags swinging free from the neck of his sleeping vest.

Army or some branch of the military; unusual qualifications for a manservant. Did Charles know?

'Quite well thank you,' the professor answered in his normal calm tones as if he was having tea in a fancy hotel. 'Why do you have a weapon?'

'Oh this,' the supposed handyman replied innocently tucking it down and away in a practiced gesture, 'I use it to chase off the raccoons.'

'Well use a broom next time,' Charles insisted imperiously, 'and get rid of that thing. You know I hate it when you carry firearms.'

And with a roar and a splash, the professor launched into a perfect backstroke.

'Just go up and come down,' Erik instructed solicitously, mindful of that fact that the smaller man had not eaten as yet. He wanted him to exercise in the morning; he didn't want him to faint.

The attention of the men left behind on the pool's edge was abruptly arrested by the sound of multiple sets of running feet, this time coming from the opposite path. Logan quickly moved to intercept handing off his gun to Erik for safekeeping.

'Thomas!' the outdoorsman screeched as a small group burst into view. 'How many times have I told you not to carry a weapon that you are not prepared to use on another person?'

Erik checked the safety before hastily sliding the gun out of sight as he watched Logan wrestle a wicked looking bread knife away from his work colleague. Thomas had to be about eighty years and a day.

'Is the master alright?' the old servant inquired, looking more than ready to eviscerate any foe on the professor's behalf, 'we heard a shout, sir!'

Charles energetically waved at the small group from the far end of the pool and they all waved back.

'Alright, you can see he is fine!' John grouched, gesturing them back towards the kitchen from which they had tumbled out, 'Why are you all staring? Haven't you ever seen a man doing the backstroke in his pajamas before?'

With the ease of long practice, the group of faithful servants faded noiselessly back into the house, save one.

'Some tea, Master Erik?' one of the maids asked.

'Coffee!' the two men barked at the same time, which caused the young lady to jump a bit in surprise before she too trotted away.

Erik returned the gun to the other man as John squatted near his wheel chair to minutely observe the professor's progress. Charles was still catching his breath in the shallow end of the Olympic size pool but he had done extremely well in Logan's opinion.

Gradually he realized that Erik was still looking in the direction that the staff had vanished by.

'What's wrong?'

The recovering patient turned in confusion to regard him with a perplexed scowl. 'Does Charles put them up to this? Why are they calling me master?'

'Does it bother you?'

'Of course it does!'

Logan had also noticed the change with the servants but hadn't made a comment. As the unofficial head of the household he kept a note of anything that could affect the efficiency of activities but the staff were free to have and voice their own private opinion, and for the last couple of days there had been plenty to say. Of course, Erik's true history was not common knowledge and only Logan and the professor were privy to such. However, sentiment for the patient was so favourable among the staff, he doubted that even this disturbing piece information would sway their opinion. The stranger, though moody and oddly wary at times suffered through his pain quietly, was humbly thankful for their care, and above all else, appeared devoted to their beloved master.

'Charles is more British than American and that is how the household is run,' the handyman offered evasively, trying to draw the other man out into saying something more revealing.

Erik drew his thick eyebrows together in a forbidding glower, 'Don't you think it's too early in the morning for such a BS answer.'

Logan laughed humorlessly, pleased at how quickly his ruse had been detected and how vulgarly it had been deflected. Nothing like a worthy opponent to start the day out right.

A soft splash drew their eyes to the pool. However on this occasion Logan chose to carefully observe the man at his side and he watched as Erik followed the professor's graceful breaststroke with genuine pleasure. With a deep, quiet sigh the handyman acknowledged that there maybe a grain of truth in some of the rumors that had been flying off the shelves faster than hot bread regarding the master and his new guest.

He was not sure what Charles saw in the other man who possessed such a mysterious and checkered past but then again his own personal history was far from laudable. Lehnsherr was still a deep enigma as none of his intensive searches had produced much information before he landed in America a few years ago. It was as if the man didn't exist before that time frame. In spite of this daunting information, Logan trusted the professor's judgment. The small man had a way of seeing right through you that bordered on the scary. If it was the 15th century he was sure the man would have been burnt as a witch. However, Xavier had a bit of a savior complex problem, so he wouldn't be taking his watchful eye over the pair anytime in the future, no matter how promising the present seemed to be.

It was clear though, that he was in the minority with his cautious attitude.

'All right, no BS,' he offered, 'you are not like most of Charles' other guests.'

Erik fisted his hands in his robes to hide his reaction, keeping his eyes safely trained on the man in the pool. For some unaccountable reason, he was feeling equal parts irritated and bothered by Logan's throw away remark.

'Really?'

The other man nodded, rising to his feet as another little group of servants were approaching armed with fluffy hot towels, breakfast and more importantly, coffee.

'If the way they address you bothers you so much you can just say so, but you are looking at it all wrong,' John remarked knowingly, ' The staff calls you master because of the way you treat them and the way you take care of the professor. It is not a matter of servitude, but one of respect. Consideration and genuine manners; it means something to people who give service.'

The wheel chair bound man turned that over quietly in his mind. He didnt think he was doing anything special to warrant such a distinction.

'They probably haven't seen the way I shout at him as yet,' Erik muttered, eyes darting suspiciously to the group that were almost in earshot. It was disconcerting to know his behaviour was under such close scrutiny.

Logan grinned crookedly as he proceeded to grab a large mug of coffee from off a tray that was pushed in his direction. Many of the privileged rich believed servants to be without eyes but they observed more than one might think.

'Oh they've seen it,' he informed the other man with a wicked smirk, 'but if it's all the same to you, I'll be calling you Erik while you are here.'

The other man grunted his consent as a gasping Charles finally succeeded in securing his hold on their side of the pool. 'That's fine by me.'

'John, John! Did you see?' the small man wheezed happily, paddling in a tight circle like a mad water beetle. 'I swam an entire length without stopping!'

'You did great kid,' he called out but dropped his voice to address the man at his side. Erik contemplated the hand the chauffeur/handyman held out to him for a moment before shaking it firmly. 'Not sure how you pulled this off Lehnsherr, but nicely done.'

**Anote: **Christopher Columbus! How did this story reach 20 chapters already? Anyhow, even though Erik is going to get a job he will be hanging out with Charles for awhile so I was wondering if my readers would like anything special. Do you want to see them go horseback riding, picnic, concert or maybe something more humorous like the mall or the ice cream parlor? Hah! I must not forget the promised back and foot massage. Drop me a message so I can think about how I can work it all in.


	21. You must understand part1

Chapter 21- **You must understand part1**

_A few days later_

Quietly Erik pushed the now cold, cup of tea in Charles' direction, hoping for a response but to no avail. The professor's features were set like granite; arms and legs twisted so tightly around his body that it was doubtful if he would ever unravel them again.

'Come Charles,' the older man begged. 'You have to speak to me. I don't know what's wrong.'

Shit.

This was the worse possible moment for the Englishman to work himself into a snit.

'Nothing's wrong,' the young man lied, his voice high pitched and strained as he studied the blank kitchen wall as if his life depended on memorizing the pattern of brick work. 'I just don't feel like talking right now'

Yeah right, nice try.

'I sent you a few text messages this afternoon,' the larger man sitting at his side tried again. 'You didn't write me back.'

The small man shifted uncomfortably in his chair. 'I was busy.'

'This isn't about how I picked out your clothes this morning is it?' Erik inquired in dismay. 'I was just trying to help. You seem short on time this morning with your swimming and all.'

The professor unbent long enough to place a comforting hand on his companion's knee, which Erik immediately clasped in his much larger one, bending over and around Charles' chair so he could see his face better. Unfortunately, the small man turned his head away still not willing to articulate whatever was bothering him.

The Englishman wanted to tell him that no, it wasn't that he picked out his clothes, prepared a travel mug of his favourite tea and laid out his briefcase and papers in neat piles so that he could grab them on his way out the door.

Who would get upset about something like that?

True, he wouldn't have picked out the strong wine coloured shirt that the larger man had selected but judging from the backward glances he had been getting all day at the university, he would have to start allowing Erik to choose more of his outfits or perhaps teach him how to match colours the way he did. He was so hopeless at the task; he might as well be colourblind.

He would get Erik to do it tomorrow and take mental notes.

Charles knew that the other man was secretly pleased that he was allowed to help him in the mornings because the way he scrambled across their apartment like a headless chicken, drove the older man to distraction. On Tuesday, much to his amusement, the taller man had even attacked his head with a comb and some water, lamenting about the fact that his hair wouldn't obey any style besides untidy. Charles wished they could rewind time so they could go back to the happiness of that day.

'Friends talk to each other,' Erik insisted in a low, passionate voice.

As the silence continued, the larger man exhaled heavily and pushed back his hair in frustration with his free hand.

He wasn't really surprised that he wasn't making any headway because he didn't have a clue WHAT he was doing!

Erik didn't have much practice in apologizing or trying to discover why someone was upset. He usually let people come to him when they wanted to talk or better yet ignored the situation completely. From observing others he had discovered that pressing too hard always resulted in some huge emotional cry fest which he wasn't too particular in favor of encouraging.

However, the older man hadn't really thought his wardrobe choices were the source of the trouble but was just making a desperate stab in the dark about what could be wrong and at least he had obtained some sort of response. If Charles had really been upset about that, he would have let him know when he texted earlier in the morning, trying to solicit his opinion on what do with his student who had once again handed up her genetics worksheet, with all her letter i's dotted with fat, chubby hearts.

'Fine! Fine!' Erik choked out, trying to keep calm, as he hastily checked the clock on wall. 'Whatever it is, I am sorry that you are upset but right now I NEED you. My parole officer is coming down to talk to us and I don't want him to think I have done something to you…so… so…try to smile or something!'

Charles eyes flashed in annoyance, 'NOW you need me? WHY? Tell me why all of a sudden!'

The older man felt he should know what the Englishman was referring to but he didn't. For the first time that evening, his eyes fully connected with the blue ones that were filled with hurt and anger.

And before he could make a further comment, voices could be heard outside the door.

They were out of time.

'Mr. Lehnsherr!' his officer greeted him cheerfully, obviously pleased to see his parolee out of bed and standing on his own two feet.

To Erik's relief, his previously mute companion also rose to greet the new comer.

'Alright there, Professor Xavier?' Gerard inquired kindly observing the man's drawn and pale features.

As they shook hands, the small man insisted that he refer to him as Charles from now on. 'Yes thank you, just a bit of a headache.'

Politely he gestured to the older man to take a chair, while Logan awkwardly manhandled a well stocked tea tray unto the table. However, the parole officer refused to take the indicated seat or remove his long coat.

'Well Erik and I have a lot to discuss, so perhaps if you can show us a room…' he interjected respectfully but firmly as he gripped the back of a chair. 'We can be out of your way.'

'I would rather they stay, Mr. Gerard,' the ex-prisoner interrupted quietly, refusing to removed from his seat. 'Please.'

'Charles, come take this chair beside me,' the handyman pointed and waved. He could see that he had taken his employer by surprise but he issued silent thanks that the small man trusted his judgment and walked over to his corner almost immediately. He knew that Erik and Charles had gotten so use to it that they probably didn't even notice anymore but the outdoorsman was certain that Mr. Gerard might be a bit perplexed at they way the two men sat almost in each other's arms when they were together. It was probably too early in the game for the officer to understand this 'no we are not a relationship but yet we are' dance that the two men were currently engaged in muddling their way through.

With the new seating arrangements apparently settled, Gerard shrugged in defeat and proceeded to make himself comfortable, spreading his folders out on the table before him.

'Firstly, how have you been feeling, Erik?' he wanted to know. 'The doctor has submitted this report to me, giving you a clean bill of health, but I would rather hear it from you.'

The other man only nodded and confirmed the diagnosis.

That settled the officer closed one folder and set it to one side. The man's precision appealed to Erik and he felt himself calming down even further in his presence. Charles could take a lesson from his officer on organization but as he glanced over at the professor he was pained to see that the man wasn't even looking in his direction. Didn't he even care?

Erik redirected his attention quickly to the man at his side as he opened another folder.

'You will be glad to know that Officer Pratt is out of the hospital and has chosen not to press charges against you,' the older man informed him. 'However he has been suspended and is under investigation based on the professor's testimony.'

Testimony? When did that happen?

'I'm glad,' the parolee added as calmly as if he was remarking on the weather.

'Perhaps you would like to add something to the report?' the officer pressed encouragingly but he wasn't surprised that Erik shook his head in refusal. He had to agree that Lehnsherr had quite enough to deal with in the coming months. He closed the folder and placed it neatly on top the first.

The easy part was done and the man folded his arms and leaned back in his chair to observe his charge. According to his file, Erik was a first time offender; a social introvert who showed an off the scale IQ with no history of drug abuse, or alcoholic addiction. In short, there was much wasted promise in the person before him.

Gerard selected another folder from the pile.

'Erik,' he began, repeating the same speech that he had perfected over the years. He could only hope that the man infront him was one of the lucky few that listened and understood. 'The number one common mistake parolees make is that they think parole means freedom. They could not be more wrong.'

From the dead silence that now echoed through the kitchen, he knew he had the undivided attention of all persons in the room.

'Parole is your ONE second chance,' he explained further. 'Understand this, if you break the conditions that are set out in this document, you will be placed under arrest and returned to prison to carry out the remainder of your sentence, without appeal or trail.

Gerard jumped as the professor unexpectedly snatched the folder from his hand, before snapping it open to feverishly read its contents.

Erik covered his mouth with his hand to hide his smile. He did care.

**Anote**: I was looking for a J. McAvoy movie to watch and I realize James has been in a lot of tragedies; Becoming Jane, Xmen, Atonement. Hasn't he had any happy film?


	22. You must understand part2

Chapter 22- **You must understand part2**

'Well…hmm, yes' Gerard replied, a bit at a loss because of the professor's strange reaction. 'Well of course there are conditions that apply to everyone for instance parolees are not permitted to leave the state, carry firearms etc etc. but some requirements are unique to you alone.'

'Such as?' Erik said a bit more loudly, just to get his officer's attention off of Charles' bent head as the small man studied his parole documents. Mr. Gerard was no ordinary, mechanical thinking government employee and Erik resolved then not to underestimate him in their future dealings.

'You will have to go through that file yourself but there are four main things I wish to draw your attention to,' he answered. 'Such as, you must stay away from all forms of financial trading, gambling, credit or any related activity and you must not induce anyone to do so on your behalf.'

Completely understandable, as that is how he landed in prison in the first place.

'I agree,' the other man said as he folded his arms across his chest.

Gerard arched a disbelieving eyebrow; he hoped rather than believe his client to be sincere in this sudden reversal in thinking.

'But not to worry we are going to find you a job, which might not be so easy as you don't seem to have any sort of qualifications,' the officer muttered unhappily, consulting a file from the stack.

Charles looked up then.

'A job?' he inquired stupidly as if he hadn't heard the man properly. 'What for?'

Gerard leaned over and tapped at the open document in the professor's hands, where Erik assumed the need for an occupation was outlined.

'Mr. Lehnsherr must find and be gainfully employment in the same position for the duration of his parole,' the man quoted from memory.

'Well he can get a job here, or at my family's company,' the Englishman offered in a firm decisive voice. 'No need to worry.'

The professor felt himself turn tomato red in embarrassment as Erik vigorously waved his hands to dismiss that idea. 'I would rather not. I could never take a salary from you.'

If it wasn't for Logan keeping a firm but discreet pressure on his arm Charles would have bolted from the room. He kept his eyes directed towards the stone floor, just to be safe.

He didn't know what was happening! First that distressing text message at lunch, where Erik coldly informed him that he had found a room that he liked and was relocating and now this!

The professor was positive that he had left the other man in a good mood this morning. Erik had even spontaneously hugged him goodbye before he realized what he was doing and pulled away. However, not even eight hours later, the older man was acting like if they weren't even friends but common strangers who passed each other in the street. Naturally, they could not be their usual selves in the company of his parole officer but really! He would not trust his voice to speak again not for a few minutes at least.

'That is very generous Professor Xavier, but not necessary,' the Gerard interjected hastily. 'What we have here are openings at various laundries, bookstores and the _**Piggly-wiggly**_, for someone who is hard working and capable of operating without supervision.'

'The Piggly-wiggly?' Erik asked blankly.

'He'll take the job at the book store,' Logan advised, nodding his head encouragingly as the man looked in their direction.

He knew Erik was waiting for Charles to advise but he didn't think his employer could manage that at present. He had thought that whatever issues the two men were having had reached some sort of resolution but apparently it was not so; not from the way the professor had thundered passed them in the corridor like a rumbling, black storm cloud, earlier that evening.

'The bookstore will be agreeable,' Erik decided quietly. He enjoyed reading and he could only hope he was in some direct contact with the books themselves. In any case, anything was preferable to taking money from Charles; a truly unpleasant idea besides which he already owed the man a life's debt.

'Are you sure? The Piggy-wiggly offers you complementary lunch,' the officer informed him. 'But it's up to you.'

However, his parolee was listening with only half an ear, as his attention was now focused on Charles as the small man leaned over in his chair studying the kitchen floor. He was sure he had seen him flinch. Was he was feeling unwell?

'Another condition which is NOT a favourite with my parolees,' Gerard carried on, 'is that you must keep sober. That means no booze, boobs or drugs.'

Logan snorted loudly in his corner and then pretended to cough to cover up his response.

In the meantime, Erik's forehead furrowed in confusion as the unfamiliar words rolled around uselessly in his brain. 'Sorry? English is not my first language.'

'No alcohol, prostitutes or illegal substances,' the handyman translated in mock horror that such appalling sacrifices were required. 'Why is all of that even necessary?'

'I can assure you that my program works,' Gerard retorted, stabbing his finger on the table to make his point. 'Erik is attempting to start a whole new life and THAT in itself will be difficult enough. Avoidance of things that weaken and distract the mind will help him keep to this parole conditions.'

The ex-prisoner raised his hand to cut off the flippant comment that he could see hovering on Logan's lips. He suddenly wanted this whole meeting to be over and he wondered briefly if he could call a time out just to check on the professor.

'Not a problem,' Erik interrupted them. 'I don't have a difficulty with any of those things. I like beer but I can live without it for a few months longer. You said you had four points. What is the last one?'

Gerard reached in and pulled out a brightly coloured flyer from one of the folders and pushed it across the wooden table top towards him. 'I have also taken the liberty of structuring your afternoons for you.'

Erik glanced at the neat time table infront of him in surprise.

'Is all this really essential?' he inquired weakly, now noting the two mandatory counseling sessions among the host of other meetings, classes and volunteers activities and that he had been signed up for. If he did everything that was outlined here, he wouldn't get back to the mansion until after dark every single day.

Observing Erik's stunned reaction, the professor quickly walked around the table to fearfully peer at the sheet of paper over his shoulder.

'I know it seems restrictive, but my programme works,' the officer insisted again, lightly resting his hand on Erik's wrist. 'You must give it a chance.'

The professor left the room so abruptly that the trio could only stare at the slow closing door in surprise.

As was his nature, Logan instantly took control of the moment.

'Erik, pour the professor a fresh cup of tea and make sure he takes an aspirin before that headache gets out of hand,' he suggested quickly. 'Gerard, allow me to give you a tour of the house until he returns.'

The men had already risen to their feet in concern.

'Is there anything we can do?' Gerard inquired anxiously, as he watched Erik hastily prepare the beverage. He hadn't said it out loud but the officer admired and respected the professor immensely. Not many people had the stones to stare him down and disagree with him.

'Give me a few minutes,' his parolee requested quietly.

'Actually, I need to make a spot inspection of your room.' Gerard announced, still worriedly looking at the door that Xavier had vanished through. 'I'll do that now, and you can meet us there and then you and I can continue.'

Erik's gaze collided with Logan's meaningfully. It was sheer inspiration on the handyman's part to suggest that perhaps his parole office might want to see the room he was occupying. They had spent a couple of hours selecting something suitable and moving his few belongings out of Charles' study, before the officer came.

'Thank you,' Erik replied as he made ready to leave the room to track down the professor.

'You're welcome,' the two men answered simultaneously.

TBC

_**Piggly Wiggly,**_ is a chain of American grocery stores. The name always puts a smile on my face.

**Anote**: I tried to upload my favourite erik/charles picture (created by avictoriangirl at livejournal) for the story cover feature that fanfiction has rolled out but you can't see the characters too well. Bummer


	23. You must understand part3

**Anote**: This chapter is for the big fan crew I have in the Netherlands. I hope you are enjoying the story.

Chapter 23- **You must understand part3**

'Hey', Charles greeted him in a pathetic whisper, as the taller man hovered over his prone form.

The professor had been laying spread eagle on his back, staring listlessly at the ceiling as twilight crept over the window sills, across the carpeted floor and up the walls. However, the small man didn't need to turn on a light to see who it was that was now sitting on the edge of his bed.

'Hey,' Erik replied in return.

In the silent room, the professor closed his eyes and just savored the warmth and closeness of the other man. He wished and wished with all his might that time could just slow down and stand still. Why couldn't they just stay in this room, forget the world outside and grow old together? Would that really be so bad?

He reopened his eyes as Erik unexpectedly slipped his large hand under his head. Gently the older man pulled him upright to lay him across his chest.

'Drink this,' Erik ordered, pressing the lukewarm cup of tea to his lips.

'Too much sugar?' he inquired worriedly, as the professor took small sips of the tea. Feeling suddenly rejuvenated, Charles burrowed even deeper into the warmth of the strong arms that surrounded and kept him upright, 'It's perfect my friend.'

However, he was forced to issue a disappointed whimper as the older man gripped his upper arms and pushed him slowly back onto his pillow.

'You are not behaving very well tonight, little one,' Erik remarked, as he placed one hand on each side of Charles' shoulders before leaning down to peer intently into his face.

'I'm sorry,' the Englishman replied automatically, trying not to smile too foolishly at the unusual pet name that the other man recently seemed to associate with him. It wasn't the name itself, but the way he pronounced the two words, almost like a caress. The delicious sensations it evoked was as if Erik had bent over and slowly trailed his lips across the bare skin of his stomach. However, Charles forced himself to focus on the present discussion as it was apparent from the other man's expression that this was the start to a serious conversation and not a prelude to seduction.

'Don't apologise,' Erik chastised severely, 'tell me what's wrong and start from the top and don't give me any of that I'm fine crap. You don't have a headache do you?'

'Shouldn't you be in a meeting?' Xavier challenged evasively, trying to find a way to get out of this conversation.

'Yes, I should be,' was the man's curt reply, 'but you know very well that I won't be able to concentrate worth a damn worrying about you.'

Charles reached up to absently fiddle with the cords of Erik's grey sweatshirt as he attempted to formulate a response. He was glad that the other man had come looking for him but at the same time he desperately wished that Erik would just take himself off somewhere, at least for tonight. Did that make any sense?

'It's not really that important anymore,' the professor muttered looking at a random point just over the other's man shoulder, 'seeing as you are not going to be home for any length of time in the future.'

'I'll still rather know whatever it is that I did to upset you. I did something, didn't I?' he pressed determinedly.

'ERIK!' the small man cried out in sudden frustration, a bit disgusted that the older man hadn't figured it out already. 'It was extremely insensitive of you to tell me by TEXT message that you are moving out of my apartment! For God's sake! How could you do that to me knowing the way I feel about you!'

The older man felt as though someone had dumped a bucket of ice water on his head and he cowered away instinctively to escape the fiery rebuke of the man laying on the bed. Knowing that he had apparently hurt Charles again, when he was trying so hard to be helpful around the mansion, made him want to puke his guts out in the nearest waste bin.

'Alright to be fair, I agree with why you relocated and you were probably running short on time, but WHY Erik? WHY did you have to pick a room that is two floors away? Are you trying to tell me something?' the small continued to carry on, flapping his arms around in extreme annoyance.

Erik was at a loss. Charles agreed with his reasons but yet he was still upset. It's not like he moved out of the mansion! He was relieved that the other man had stopped shouting though.

'What do you think I am trying to tell you?' he asked cautiously.

Charles sighed and resumed his study of the ceiling tiles. 'That was a rhetorical question love.'

'I would rather you answer it.'

'Well answer my question first!' the professor snapped belligerently.

'Why did I pick that room? I liked the windows.'

Charles raised his head, curiosity replacing the pain and anger, 'the windows?'

The narrow, ten feet tall, floor to ceiling windows had captured Erik's attention instantly. That coupled with the fact that the room was on the ground floor, made him feel that he was outside yet still indoors at the same time. In addition, if he turned sideways, he just managed to fit through the aperture meaning he could slip out and into the professor's beautifully tended gardens any time, day or night.

'I think after a stay in prison, one appreciates being closer to the outside more than normal,' the older man explained. 'I would imagine that you being wheel chair bound for months would understand something like that.'

The small man turned that over in his head.

'I was happy to share your rooms with you and if it really bothers you, I can…'

He stopped when Charles squeezed his forearm to interrupt. Once the situation had been explained to him that evening, the Englishman had readily agreed that Erik should have his own quarters. Officer Gerard would certainly find it strange that in a huge house like this, his now fully recovered parolee should still be living out of the professor's study like some sort of hobo.

'No. No. You DO need your own space….just …just, don't forget to come visit once in a while,' the young man requested. 'Do you want anything special for your room?'

'Once you promise that you will come visit ME,' Erik replied earnestly. 'I will have every thing I need.'

Charles turned his head to avoid his eyes, laughing shyly at this charmingly delivered demand.

'I'm sorry that you were upset,' the older man added in a low whisper.

The professor groaned in embarrassment and covered his face with one of his hands. 'I've always thought of myself as being able to live in the moment…'

Erik reached out and pulled back the hand that was blocking his view.

'…but everything has changed so quickly for us within a few short hours, I think I went a little crazy. I am not usually like this.'

'You're not?' the taller man said with amused sarcasm, to which Charles punched him hard on his arm in retaliation.

The young man watched as Erik caught his fist and tucked it against his chest.

'When I read your text message, I thought that you didn't need me anymore,' Charles confessed in a hollow voice, 'and it really hurt.'

Need wasn't exactly right word but the Englishman didn't want to push the conversation into an area that Erik had already declared to be strictly off limits. All things considered, the older man had voluntarily sought him out and they were more or less discussing the situation rationally which is more than most couples did in the face of a crisis.

His train of thought was interrupted as Erik agitatedly crushed his fingers that were nestled under his hand.

'I'm trying Charles,' he fiercely whispered back, 'but I am beginning to think that I am not capable of something as delicate as friendship.'

'You are capable of more than you know,' Charles answered back just as fiercely, 'and I think you are a GREAT friend!'

The older man snorted in disbelief and released his hand but the professor deliberately refused to let his arm fall.

'You talk to me, listen to me, play chess with me,' the young man argued the point, pressing his open palm against Erik's heart; 'you push me into swimming pools.'

He felt the older man shake with silent laughter even though he couldn't see into his face.

'I'm not just saying what I think you want to hear. You have given me more than I expected.'

Absentmindedly, Erik was lightly trailing his fingers up and down the professor's outstretched arm. The young man was being absurdly generous but he was so taken aback that his efforts at friendship had been so well received that it had temporarily rendered him without the ability to respond.

'I have to go now. I want to have dinner with Gerard and try and sort out this timetable,' he said instead. 'This is a bit much, don't you think? At this rate, I'll only see you for five minutes at breakfast!'

Charles cut his eyes to the dark shadow of Erik's face. Unfortunately what little light there was in the room was shining directly on the bed. He wished he could have seen into the other man's eyes when he said that.

'Yeah, way too much,' he agreed distractedly.

'His logic is sound though. If I didn't have you in my life, I would just go home after work and brood.'

Charles felt his heart rate speed up a bit more. He never imagined that Erik would say something like that out loud, considering the way he had been trying to keep his distance. What did he mean? WAS he in Erik's life?

'Erik?'

'What?'

'I hope you can get some of the stuff dropped from your schedule. You haven't begun working as yet and I already miss you.'

The older man closed his eyes in misery and sighed deeply. Only someone with a heart of stone would not respond to the love that Charles gave away so freely. However, Erik was fairly certain that people who sat in dark rooms plotting various disgusting ways of assassinating their dead mother's killer were not capable of responding to love. He DID NOT have a heart, therefore Xavier was not going to be a problem!

'I'll miss you too,' he replied quietly, removing Charles' hand from his chest and tucking it against his side.

'Can you come back and stay the night?' the professor suddenly blurted out as Erik rose from the bed, 'Just for talking and sleeping, I promise to keep my hands to myself.'

He winced as the older man reached over and switched on his beside lamp. The blank look on Erik's face made him squirm uncomfortably. Although the other man had not softened his hard stance on their relationship, he had felt sure that in the last couple of days that he was perfectly willingly to be close friends. Charles wondered if had read the signals wrong, although he didn't think he had.

The professor swallowed miserably as the other man continued to silently weigh his request.

'Never mind,' the Englishman replied quietly. 'I'll see you in the morning. Good luck with Gerard.'

'If you give me your word that you have something substantial for your dinner, I'll come back.'

Charles nodded vigorously in agreement not daring to say anything else just in case the other man changed his mind. Unexpectedly, Erik resumed his previous seat and stared into space for a long moment before reluctantly turning to face the small man on the bed.

'Has it occurred to you Charles,' he began slowly, 'that it maybe me and not you who will not be able to control their actions? Perhaps it was not a conscious choice at the time, but I am beginning to think that having two floors between us IS a good idea.'

Erik groaned and rose to his feet as the professor proceeded to give him a saucy, little wink.

'Xavier!' he cried in exasperation. 'What is WRONG with you? Where is the man I knew who use to blush at everything I said? Is he still in there somewhere?'

The Englishman tucked his hands under his head and grinned impudently, obviously enjoying the knowledge that he had so much power over him. 'No. I don't think he is.'

tbc


	24. You must understand part4

**Anote:** I am reintroducing the minor character David, Charles' ex-boyfriend, just for dramatic effect. He's someone from my own imagination and not part of the X-verse.

Chapter 24- **You must understand part4**

Erik was surprised to hear laughter coming from Xavier's bedroom and as a result, he cautiously looked around the door but then boldly walked in when he realized that the young man was alone, sitting on his bed with his laptop. The professor looked up eagerly and Erik nodded his head to let him know that yes, he had been victorious in getting Gerard to amend his long list of jolly after work activities.

'Can we pause the game? I have to go now,' the small man said into the tiny mouthpiece of his headset, watching as Erik neatly folded his sleeping robe on a convenient chair.

The older man slid into the space behind him and pulled the laptop closer to have a peep at what was going on. The low, rough growl from over his left shoulder indicated to the Englishman that his companion was far from pleased.

'Found a replacement for me already, have you?' Erik commented waspishly into his ear.

Quite unconcerned, Xavier knocked his hand away and closed the screen to snuff out the chess game he had been playing with his university colleague. 'Night, Hank. I'll see you tomorrow.'

The larger man silently fumed as the professor placed the computer on the floor and then obligingly began stacking some pillows against the headboard for him. He knew he was being foolish. Xavier was perfectly free to play chess with whomever he wanted, but it had been a very trying day and he wasn't in the mood to be reasonable.

'Don't be absurd Erik,' Charles sniffed dismissively, seemingly perfectly untroubled that the older man was staring at him with a hard look on his face, 'you are NOT replaceable.'

The matter of fact proclamation was enough to push the older man's mood from sulky annoyance to genuine amusement and pleasure. It was times like this, when he was mentally and physically exhausted, that he really appreciated the small man's spirited, no nonsense personality.

'Thank you,' he replied, swinging his legs on to the bed and leaning back against the stack of firm pillows that the professor had prepared for him. Gesturing for him to come closer, he gathered the small man under his outstretched arm so that they could both examine Gerard's compromised list of things to do.

'He's dropped everything but the counseling sessions,' the older man reported blissfully, pointing at the crossed out markings.

'Oh! Why did you cancel the volunteer activity?' the other remarked in a small disappointed voice. 'I was wondering about that. Maybe it was something we could have done together.'

The older man sighed and rolled his eyes before good-humoredly ruffling the dark brown mop of hair within reach, 'Don't you think you have enough to do, Xavier?'

He was awarded a sharp jab in the ribs in reply.

'Do you know what your hours of employment are?' the small man inquired, turning serious again as he flipped over the sheet looking for any additional information.

'Six days a week, from half eight to five.'

The professor was already busy moving his own activities around in his head before Erik had even finished speaking. 'Well, I will be able to take you most mornings and if you don't mind bussing to the university in the evenings, we can go home from there. Other than that, I will pick you up after your counseling sessions, from…where are they?'

'At the parole house,' the larger man answered, tapping the address scribbled at the edge of the flyer.

The Englishman worriedly gnawed on one of his fingers, 'We might have to get John to fill in any gaps though. Unfortunately, we are a bit out in the middle of nowhere here, and it's too far to walk from the village bus stop. '

Actually it wasn't. Erik had already secretly slipped out the grounds and gone exploring when Charles had returned to work. It took a little over an hour and although he wouldn't enjoy making the trek on a rainy night, he would be perfectly happy to do so any other time.

The older man eyed what he could see of the professor's face apprehensively, 'sorry to be such a bother.'

'You're not,' the small man reassured him, absently reaching over to pat his pajama clad knee. 'I am your sponsor; it is my responsibility and my pleasure. Besides, I do like spending time with you.'

The younger man turned around to look up into his face with an expectant expression.

'Erik,' he said after releasing a long suffering sigh, 'this is the part where you say, you also like spending time with me.'

'This would be much easier if I could have borrowed one of your cars. How come you only have two?' Erik asked distractedly, as if this indeed was the most bizarre thing in the world. 'I didn't believe it when Logan told me and I had to go down to the garages to see it with my own eyes. You just have the Lincoln town car and a tiny FIAT.'

'Would you believe I used to have an entire fleet down there? A Jaguar XJ, Lexus LS, Ferrai 485, Meserati Gran Turismo and a V8 Ashton Martin,' the small man reminisced, counting out some of the luxury sports cars he owned on his fingers.

'Oh my God, you had an Ashton Martin,' the larger man muttered in a low stunned voice. 'What…what happened to it!'

The Englishman shook his head unhappily, 'they attracted the wrong sort of people. I was ten times happier after I auctioned them off.'

He almost laughed out loud at the scandalized look on the older man's face who appeared horrified that he had committed such outrageous sacrilege against the vehicles.

'Would you rather I buy you a car then, so you can drive yourself?' the small man asked tentatively.

'No that's quite all right, Charles,' he replied generously, even though every atom in his body was screaming at him to say yes. However, Erik hadn't missed the disappointment stamped in the blue eyes that were fastened on him. But did the professor really once own an Ashton Martin? Dear God! Dear God!

The Englishman noticed the glazed, stupefied looked in the other man's expression as he stared into space but he didn't comment. It was apparent that his friend was one of those car crazies, who lived and breathed automobiles. He was grateful that at least the man remembered that his name was Charles in the midst of his car induced stupor, and he twisted around to kiss Erik affectionately on the side of his face to show his appreciation.

It was enough to bring the older man back to his senses.

'Attracted the wrong sort of people?' he questioned inquisitively. 'What does that mean?' He shifted around slightly so that Xavier could rest his back against his chest more comfortably.

The young man smiled sadly as he hesitated, remembering the stupendous idiocy of his twenties.

'The wrong sort of people? That would be the party obsessed, self absorbed, reckless group of trust fund adults that you read about in the tabloids. It took three trips to the emergency room to get alcohol pumped out of my stomach before I finally realized that this wasn't a way to live, it was a way to die.'

He looked up into Erik's shocked grey eyes, as the older man tightened his grasp almost painfully across his shoulders.

'Have you lost all respect for me?' Charles asked lightly, trying to calm him down. It wasn't so long ago but it felt like another lifetime for Xavier.

'Hardly,' the older man denied firmly in an unsteady, rough voice. 'Although, I can't believe you endangered your own life in such a fashion.'

Comfortingly, the young man patted his knee again, 'Well, we all do stupid things to try and belong, don't we?'

In the quiet that followed, their bodies seemed to lean in even closer as if seeking safety in numbers and the two men pretended, by silent agreement, to be busy reading the brightly coloured flyer in their hands. Charles was deeply moved that the other man was so affected by his story and he pondered anew how easy he found Erik was to talk to. He didn't go around telling that story to just anyone! On the other hand, Erik was a bit taken aback that they had this shared experience in common in that Charles knew intimately what it meant to hang on to his life by his fingernails. It wasn't in keeping with the polished and proper lifestyle that the young man projected to the world. It was both oddly comforting and vaguely disturbing all at the same time.

'Before I forget, Gerard may ask what kind of subjects you are teaching me,' he interjected suddenly, to which Charles could only look around in confusion.

'I could not divert his decision about this schedule until I metioned that you needed time to work with me for an exam.'

'Good god, Erik!' the young man exclaimed in a panicked voice, throwing off his arm to reach over and grab his cell phone on the side table.

'What? Who are you calling, at this hour?'

'I am not calling anyone. I am making a note to myself to sign you up for the next examination stream first thing in the morning.'

That completed, he arched a despairing eyebrow at the other man. Erik certainly had to have a Machiavellian streak in his personality to think of something as sneaky as that under pressure.

'What on earth am I going to teach you for six months?' Charles asked in amused irritation, 'you don't need that much prep work for this test.'

Erik shrugged unconcernedly, pulling at imaginary lint on the professor's Egyptian cotton sheets, 'doesn't matter. Its not only about book work, I learn loads just by being around you.'

'Really? Like what?' the young man inquired inattentively, scrolling through some of Erik's text messages that he had ignored earlier.

'Like how to be a friend and a decent human being.'

The older man eventually looked up when the professor failed to respond. The Englishman's blue eyes looked suspiciously bright.

'Charles, you are not going to cry, are you?' Even as he asked, Erik reached over to brush his long, slender fingers over the man's eyes, softly wiping away the tell tale moisture he had observed.

'I don't think I have ever been more flattered in my entire life,' Charles responded in almost feeble manner.

'And YOU, have an appallingly low self esteem,' Erik remarked irritably, jabbing a pointed index finger in the man's face. He could feel himself getting angry in turn. He didn't like the man's shocked expression. Why didn't Charles already know these things about himself?

'It's not low self esteem,' the professor protested quietly. 'I am not used to compliments.'

'That's just a reason you have given yourself,' Erik challenged, as the small man regarded him doubtfully.

The professor retrieved one of the pillows and stuffed it under his chest, slowly making himself comfortable by lying on his stomach, facing his bedmate.

'I think I am having a touch of déjà vous here because I once tried to explain this same difference to David.'

'David, the cheating ex-?' Erik asked baldly, wanting to verify the information filed away in his head.

The professor grimaced but he couldn't really protest what was an actual fact.

'It wasn't devoid of its issues,' he replied a bit tartly, 'but my relationship with David was one that actually worked. He was one of the few that could consistently separate all of this,' the young man waved his hand towards the lavish bedroom fixtures, 'and still see me as a normal, regular person.'

'Sorry? A normal person?'

Sigh.

'I don't understand it either but it's not normal to have so much money Erik. It… almost like it affects a person's brain chemistry; this NOT having to make a choice between what you need and what you want.'

The older man nodded his head although he wasn't sure that he had fully understood. What he did understand was that sometimes all his wealth made Xavier miserable and it explained why on so many previous occasions, Charles tried to squash this aspect of his life in a dark, lonely corner.

'But I apologise. I believe I have been monopolizing the entire conversation tonight,' the small man remarked politely. 'Why don't you talk for a bit. Tell me about one of your boyfriends. Have you ever been married? I've never heard you speak about anyone not even in passing conversation.'

He felt his heart sink a little in disappointment, as the older man folded his arms defensively around his chest and stared at him with a singularly guarded expression.

TBC


	25. You must understand part5

**Author's note**: The book extracts are taken from C. Bronte's _Jane Eyre._

Chapter 25- **You must understand part 5**

'No, I have never been married and I am not dating anyone at this current time,' Erik replied sharply in a rather chilly voice, 'Anything else you want to know?'

Charles bravely forged ahead with growing curiosity.

'Come Erik,' he said bracingly. 'Don't be like that. There must have been someone! You must share, I insist on it.'

Frustrated, the older man leaned his head back on his stack of pillows to stare at the ceiling. 'You are much too young for me to talk to you about this; maybe in a few years.'

The young man in question roared with laughter, vastly amused at the various techniques the larger man was employing to get out of this conversation, although a part of him warned that perhaps Erik had a good reason for trying to bow out gracefully from his question.

'Can we talk about something else?' the older man finally snapped, before he could help himself; Charles' laughter had been enough to push him over the edge.

'Why do you have to be such a shit?' the small man accused him in a surly tone, 'I don't go around telling everyone I had my stomach pumped. I trusted you…'

'It's not a matter of trust. I just have NO stories to …'

The professor unconsciously held his breath as the older man grappled with some faraway memory, judging from the way his gaze had momentarily slipped out of focus.

'Well, there was this one girl,' the older man finally said. There was faint sheen in his eye and a small smile hovered on his lips.

In the meantime, Charles felt his heart plummet south to keep his pancreas company. Actually knowing Erik was bisexual and then hearing him describe how beautiful some girl's hair was, were two different matters entirely. He sincerely wished now that Erik would shut the hell up, because he really didn't want to hear this. However, he couldn't think of any clever way to change the topic seeing as how he had badgered his companion into it in the first place.

'Magda was bookish like you. She used to like me to rest my head on her knee and listen to her read. She could also spin quite a tale from her own head, when she had a mind to.'

The professor's eyes widened to the size of saucers. He had never heard Erik talk like this before. It was a bit surreal seeing the peaceful transformation that came across his face, blurring and softening his sharp profile like in an old romantic black and white movie.

'…and I loved her with all of my fourteen year old heart,' he finally added, quickly raising his hands to protect his face as the small man flung an infuriated pillow at his head.

'Abuse, abuse!' Erik cried out indignantly, vigorously massaging the top of his head where the homemade missile had connected.

'Ha, ha,' the professor retorted unsympathetically. 'Is any of that story even true?'

'Of course it's true. Are you calling me a liar?' the older man replied conversationally.

'You are sure this is not like the time when you said you needed me to leave the room so that you could concentrate on your knitting?'

Erik snorted with evil laughter, not even bothering to pretend to be ashamed of that incident. On that occasion, the young man had released his hold on the television remote (which was Erik's goal at the time) and actually risen from his seat before he realized that the larger man was having a good laugh at his naïveté.

Charles reached out and pushed on his thigh to stop him from laughing and the older man raised his knees to his chest to escape.

'So what happened?' the professor demanded peevishly. 'She got tired of your dreadful sense of humor and turned you away.'

'We got…separated.'

The abrupt answer coming so close on the heels of a laughing Erik made the young man shiver. The shuttered look in the other man's eyes stifled Charles' next question before it even had a chance to be born.

'…she was my very best romance story, and isn't that what you wanted to hear?' Erik demanded a bit desperately now.

'I want to hear about it all, the good and the bad,' the professor replied with quiet compassion.

'No you don't. You don't want hear all of that. Be satisfied with what I have told you,' Erik whispered, as Charles' blue eyes seemed to pierce his very soul as he stared at him.

The small man relinquished his pillow and crept forward to hug the other man's upraised knees.

'You can tell me anything my friend,' he reassured the older man who had turned his head away as he had moved closer.

'I don't see what good is there in me telling you that I can't remember the last person I slept with. I don't see WHY you would want to know, that I have a handful of names floating around in my head which I can't match to the blur of faces that I can barely remember. I move around a lot Charles and I just don't have time for steady relationships but I am content, so please don't fuss.'

'Content?' the Englishman asked skeptically.

'Alright, maybe content is not the right word.'

'What is the right word?'

Sigh.

'You can be quite irritating, you know that?' Erik groused affectionately, as he stroked Charles' long hair. The professor was in desperate need of a haircut.

He thought that the other man would have been disgusted by his rather loose lifestyle, but he noticed only concern as the small man yawned up at him. For him sex was a form of relaxation; one that could be easily discarded if it became too distracting.

'I know you haven't asked for my opinion, but it sounds like a lonely way to live Erik,' Charles offered.

The older man had to silently agree that sometimes it was. 'I haven't thought about Magda in a long time.'

'It was a beautiful memory, thank you for sharing and thank you for coming tonight. I am having a good time.'

'Then you are very easy to please, little one.'

He turned his head to rest one cheek against Erik's knees because for some unknown reason, his neck muscles no longer had the strength to hold him up.

'I just find that speaking to you like this,' Charles replied closing his eyes blissfully, as the larger man had moved from his hair and was now tracing the delicate, sensitive outer shell of his ears, 'talking to you about my day, sharing secrets is very intimate and quite….relaxing.'

There was no way that Erik could miss the sudden change in the man's voice. He felt he should stop this but he was mesmerized by the way the Englishman was slowly coming apart right infront of him.

'Relaxing?' Erik asked with an unbelieving gleam in his dark eyes.

'Alright, maybe relaxing is not the right word,' Charles choked out softly, trying to keep his thoughts flowing in a rationale manner.

'What is the right word?'

By this time the older man had begun caressing the small man's cheek with just the tips of his fingers.

'Erik…maybe we should stop?' Charles asked in a small, confused voice.

'Then tell me to stop and I will stop,' he whispered back, slowly forcing one of his fingers past the professor's lips and into the heat of his mouth.

Erik wasn't sure where he was going with this but he hadn't expect Charles to spring up like if he had been shot . Reflexively he grabbed hold of his friend's slim wrist as he tried to roll away.

'What the hell! Xavier, don't fight me!' he yelled out loudly. And as suddenly as it started it all stopped.

'You know, I really hate it when you use your physical strength against me,' the Englishman muttered mutinously as he stared down into his lap. The older man followed his gaze and then sighed.

'Charles!' he responded in exasperation, shaking the small man once in aggravation. 'There is no need to be embarrassed or try and hide the fact that you have an erection. You are a science teacher for christsakes; it's just biology.'

'I am NOT embarrassed!' he blustered feebly, 'and stop staring you pervert.'

With another loud sigh, the taller man pulled Charles to his feet and pushed him in the direction of the bathroom, 'Go relieve yourself and splash some water on your face. You will feel better in a moment.'

By the time the young man had returned Erik had already turned down the bed for the night and switched off all the lights. Disappointedly, the professor stared at the older man outlined now by only the flicker of firelight as he immediately rose to his feet clutching his robe in one hand.

Erik always gave out an aura of confidence even when walking along a prison corridor or lying flat on his back barely conscious with five stitches in his head, so Charles was a bit puzzled as he jiggled nervously on the spot.

'I suppose you want me to leave now,' he blurted out unexpectedly, grasping the edge of one of the armchairs tightly.

The young man smiled slightly as he crossed the room and sat on the bed facing him, 'No, not at all.'

He made no further comment as Erik swiftly sat down, looking particularly glad not to have been sent away.

'Are you going to be sleeping on that chair?'

'No. But I want you to fall asleep first. I don't sleep well and I don't want to disturb you.'

'I don't mind,' the professor replied crawling under the sheets and turning on his side to face him.

'But I do,' Erik remarked as reached over to help pull the heavy quilts around him. 'No more talking, you have work tomorrow. Do you want me to read to you?'

'You will be here in the morning, when I wake up?' Charles pressed worriedly, still unsure of this idea where the older man would join him later when he had fallen asleep.

'I will be here in the morning,' Erik promised faithfully, reaching out to give Charles a quick squeeze on his wrist, 'And if I start to snore in the middle of the night, give me a jab with that pointy elbow of yours and I will turn over.'

The Englishman smiled contently, reassured now of the man's intent in the face of such precise sleeping instructions.

Erik's gaze fell on a stack of books on the floor and he picked up the only one that was not a text book. He had seen the professor reading the slim volume on his balcony only last evening.

'No…you don't want that book, it's a romance,' the small man informed him, reaching out to take it away. 'And I think we've already gone a little overboard tonight as it is.'

Curiously, the other man flipped through some of the pages, 'It looks like one of those classical novels although I am not familiar with this title. Are you sure this is a love story?'

'_I sometimes have a queer feeling with regard to you — especially when you are near to me, as now'…_ Charles replied.

The older man looked up in surprise from the random page he had been perusing.

… _it is as if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string situated in the corresponding quarter of your frame. And I am afraid that cord of communion will be snapped; and then I've a nervous notion I should take to bleeding inwardly_.'

'You don't like it?' the professor inquired as the other man continued to stare at him in awed befuddlement.

The older man took a deep breath and pulled himself together. For a moment, his ability to breathe had been severely impaired because he thought that Charles had been directly addressing him.

'Do I like it? The words and phrasing are beautiful enough and so is the way you say it, but the imagery is quiet darker than what I think you would normally enjoy.'

'You should read it.'

'Why? Do you think I need tips on how to be more romantic?' Erik asked in amused sarcasm.

'No, you are great just as you are,' the professor laughed quietly. 'I pulled it off the shelf recently because it reminded me of you. The hero, Edward, also had a great secret that he wouldn't share with anyone.'

He squinted down at the professor.

'So…I take it to mean, that you think the plot would have worked out differently or better if your hero had shared his secret?'

'I've read that book several times and would you believe, I have never considered that? But Edward made his choice and the woman he loved ran away from the shelter of his protection and it in turn destroyed him.'

Did the small man think that was what was going to happen to him eventually? That his secret was going to backfire and consume him?

'Let us not talk about such things now,' Erik pleaded quietly, 'not in the dead of night.'

He was delighted when the other man nodded wearily in agreement, stifling a huge yawn in his pillow. By continuously keeping his voice low and steady, Erik had managed to push Charles even closer to the edge of sleep. Seeking a last bit of momentum, the older man began to read the first paragraph that his eyes fell on.

'_What was I? In the midst of my pain of heart and frantic effort of principle, I abhorred myself. I had no solace from self approbation; none even from self respect. I had injured-wounded-left my master. I was hateful in my own eyes.'_

The older man scowled fiercely down at the page, 'are you sure this is a romance, Xavier?'

The professor was almost gone and he frantically sought out another paragraph to finish the task.

'_Gentle reader may you never feel what I felt! May your eyes never shed such stormy, scalding, heart wrung tears as poured from mine. May you never appeal to Heaven in prayers so hopeless and so agonized as in that hour that left my lips; for never may you, like me, dread to be the instrument of evil to what you wholly love.'_

Erik stared at the dark ceiling for a long time before the warmth of the young man's body at his side, allowed sleep to claim him at last.


	26. A day out part1

Anote: This story has gone off track and I was wondering if I shouldn't close it off. But if you are enjoying the Charles/Erik fluff I will carry on with this theme.

Please note that Erik is NOT trying to injure the professor in this chapter, so there is no need for alarm.

Chapter 26- **A day out part1**

'Erik, I think we should ask someone.'

The two men looked up and down the almost deserted mall corridor. It was still very early and most stores were now opening for the day. Attendants were busy sipping coffee and hastily donning their uniforms but a few of them turned their heads to stare at the pair. Actually, they were gawking at the professor and Erik surreptitiously glanced down at the small man at his side. Nope, his fly was zipped and all his buttons were fastened correctly.

'I don't understand. This is the closest shopping centre to the mansion. Don't you ever come here?' the older man asked curiously. He raised a puzzled eyebrow as a young lady (who according to her T-shirt worked at the CoffeeBeanery) walked straight into a dustbin, so preoccupied was she in gaping at Xavier.

'No, not really,' Charles admitted distractedly suddenly noticing the numerous, intent glances in his direction. 'I get my clothes in town. Most times Margaret makes sure I have everything I need.'

The taller man shook his head in disbelief but didn't comment. He wouldn't leave a sixty something year old woman in charge of his wardrobe but he had come to respect the deep bonds that existed between Charles and his staff. According to the professor many of the older ones had served his father, which he supposed made them more family than actual employees.

'Look!' the Englishman pointed happily and he followed his outstretched arm to a large mall direction information display.

Promptly, Erik slowed his pace to match the shorter stride of the young man at his side. It hadn't escaped his attention that Charles had stepped closer when he noticed that people were watching him.

'He thinks I will protect him,' he thought to himself with a heavy heart, 'and I will. I would do so gladly, but who will protect him from me.'

Unaware that he was currently occupying his friend's thoughts, the professor concentrated on the display in front of them trying to determine the location of the various men's stores that were available.

Charles found something promising and he checked the map's key at the side. He was not altogether surprised to observe that his shopping partner was looking at him, instead of the colourful map infront of them. He had borne this with good grace for the last couple of days but it was a bit much when added to the oddish behaviour of the mall's people.

'Erik luv, you are staring again,' he softly chided the tall man's reflection.

'Forgive me,' the other man replied automatically, but he did not look away.

Charles did not turn around but reached out one arm to find and clasp the hand of the man who was standing just behind him. Gently he pulled him a little closer.

'Are you alright? You've been a little quiet.'

He waited patiently until finally Erik lifted his head. The older man smiled ruefully when he realized that the professor had been watching his reflection all this time. There was no point in lying now.

'It is not easy for me to speak of personal things,' he muttered unhappily, squeezing Xavier's small palm.

'Just share whatever is on your mind….it doesn't even have to be in a complete sentence. Are you worried about starting your job tomorrow?'

Erik looked unseeingly at the map in front of him, before breaking their contact and walking over to the decorative rails that enclosed their floor. He let his body sag over the edge and he stared morosely at the ground floor below.

'My mind races….' he began, 'I am remembering the past, worrying about the present...'

The professor hadn't missed the way Erik's hands had unconsciously pointed in his direction when he had said the latter.

…I feel adrift. Shit! I am babbling. I do not know what is wrong.'

Charles rubbed soothing circles over the bowed back. 'Does anything help your mind to slow?'

'Being with you does,' he thought to himself. He had noticed his "depression" always got worse in the middle of the day and at night; the two times when he was most alone. At least he could text Charles during the day and get a quick fix but at night there was no recourse. Sometimes his restless feet took him to the professor's room and he would lie down next to the sleeping man and hold him for a few minutes to get some relief. Other than that he would slip out into the grounds and jog for hours until the silence in the darkness cleared his aching head.

'Running helps,' the larger man finally admitted.

'Great…add a pair of **trainers** to your shopping list,' the young man counseled, 'and maybe you should lay off all that coffee. I assure you my friend; a little tea would not kill you.'

Not really convinced, Erik nodded absentmindedly as he watched a harassed young mother on the first floor, scramble madly to catch up with her over active toddler.

'Many great discoveries have begun with the words 'I don't know,' the Englishman offered quietly, gently squeezing his shoulder, 'Who knows, Erik! You might be on the verge of some great personal revelation!'

The older man snorted derisively and looked around. However, the professor's eyes shone with the happy, excited fervor so typical in scientists and Erik didn't have the heart to voice the sarcastic response he had in mind. Instead, he brushed his lips over the friendly fingers that were holding on to him in a-thanks- for- listening gesture.

Panicked his eyes flew to the other man's face, 'Sorry.'

'I don't know WHY you are apologizing,' the small man sighed heavily with a pronounced roll of his blue eyes. 'I certainly have NO intention of saying I am sorry when I kiss you.'

It took him a moment to work out what the young man had just said. A small, but confused smile spread across Erik's features, 'are you planning to kiss me in the future?'

'Of course I am!' the professor responded brightly, bouncing energetically on the balls of his feet. 'There now, that is something for you to look forward to!'

The man couldn't help but laugh at Charles' outrageous audacity. 'And when is this …event likely to occur?'

He scrunched his face in seemingly serious contemplation, 'I'm not sure; maybe tomorrow, maybe in the next five seconds.'

The small man was close enough to see Erik's eyes suddenly darken and a deep flush of excitement suffused the older man's face. However, Charles nimbly skipped away when the man moved to trap him against the railings to receive his kiss.

'ERIK! BEHAVE! BEHAVE I SAY!' he laughingly yelped, as the man chased him round and round the interactive map display, muttering darkly under his breath all the while about cheeky English professors and what he would like to do to them. 'PEOPLE ARE LOOKING AT US!'

The young man darted away to a nearby bank of elevators but that proved to be an unwise choice as Erik plucked him out of mid air and sat him down precariously on the edge of the rails to face him.

Immediately, Charles threw his arms around the other man's neck to better keep his balance, desperately trying at the same time to stop laughing so that he could catch his breath.

'I will have that kiss now, little one,' the older man menaced, tilting him back ever so slightly and he winced as the professor let out an deafening screech that almost burst his ear drum.

'OYE! STOP THAT NOW!' a security guard bellowed jogging forward to them, 'GET DOWN FROM THERE!'

After repeated apologies on Erik's part (Charles, still giggling madly, could only manage to hide his red face against the other man's chest) the pair managed to gain the elevator without further incident. However, the whole episode seemed to have refreshed Erik as his eyes now sparkled with good humor and a high color warmed his face.

As they walked towards the shop Charles had found, he threw out a hand in wordless invitation and was pleased when the professor stepped under the protective shelter of his arm.

'Thank you,' he whispered in appreciation of Xavier's creative efforts to distract him from his bleaker thoughts. The small man was truly a gift to treasure. 'You are not like anyone I have ever known.'

The young man's forehead creased as he contemplated if he was being insulted or not but Erik's unusually relaxed posture reassured him.

Unfortunately, the men's store they had managed to locate was still closed but the two men occupied themselves in studying the small list that Erik had prepared.

'Now remember to make sure we get the bill,' the larger man reminded him for what was either the twelfth or fiftieth time for the morning, 'I'll pay you back as soon as I get my wages.'

'Yes Erik,' the small man replied obediently, biting his tongue to keep from protesting how ludicrous this all was. It was ironic that the one person he wished to lavish gifts on wouldn't make use of his money. Erik's parole officer had offered to outfit him for the while in some of the second hand clothes left behind from his other parolees but Charles had quickly turned down the offer. The young man then apprehensively informed Erik of what he had done, afraid that the man was going to be upset that he wasn't consulted first but he seemed just as relieved and the idea of this shopping excursion had been hatched that night. It was a bit of an unpleasant surprise when Erik stonily announced over breakfast that he had every intention of repaying him for the borrowed funds.

In the meantime, the store owner noticed his early buyers and opened the door, affably ushering them in to browse while he continued to prepare various displays and dress his window mannequins.

At Erik's request, Charles had seated himself on a high chair in the corner so that he could easily be found when he needed a second opinion. This suited the professor just fine and he let his mind wander as the older man was swallowed up by a row of dark jackets.

This depression that seemed to have abruptly come over Erik troubled him greatly. He was deeply concerned that perhaps the initial euphoria of being free was beginning to die down and now Erik's mind was prey to darker thoughts; thoughts that had perhaps lead to his brush with the law in the first place. Gerard had supplied him with a transcript of Erik's trial and Logan had prepared a dossier on his life in America but both documents remained untouched and buried in the bottom drawer of his desk. If he could be completely truthful with himself, he would admit that he didn't want to read anything that would spoil the wonderful image of Erik in his head.

The professor breathed in deeply and closed his eyes, once again weighing in his mind the benefits of knowledge to continued ignorance. There was much about his friend that he didn't know. The memory of Erik, dressed in his prison uniform, pouring so intently over a mysterious thick binder to the point where he did not even hear him approach, flashed in his mind.

'ENOUGH! This way leads to madness!' Charles told himself sternly. For better or worse they were in this together. He chuckled quietly at the marital reference that he had unconsciously used and without much effort, his mind drifted over to more pleasant imaginings.

'What do you think of this color?' the older man inquired after a few minutes of searching. The professor jumped in his chair, startled by the sudden reappearance of his companion. He had been busy daydreaming of dressing Erik in the finest Armani suit perhaps with a lovely diving watch on his wrist, silk tie still unmade and dangling around his neck.

'Did you just lick your lips at me, Xavier?' he cried out in his shock. He always thought that the Englishman was a bit on the quiet side but he was beginning to discover that on occasion, the young man could let out an almighty roar when he felt like it.

'You truly have an over active imagination,' Charles lied smoothly, focusing on the turtleneck sweater in Erik's hands. 'Dearest, please don't ask me about colors. I am hopeless.'

Having completed his morning routine, the store owner drifted over to offer his much more informative opinions and soon the professor was completely lost as the two discussed the relative merits of cotton and polyester; jackets and blazers; sage and teal. The small man was just happy that a considerable pile was now building up on the counter and he resolved to find a way around this ridiculous notion that Erik had about paying him back.

'And what about your partner?' the eager store keeper inquired, turning mercenary eyes towards the Englishman, 'perhaps a new jacket to match with the tan one you selected. The two of you will look stunning!'

The professor closed his eyes in acute embarrassment as Erik abruptly snatched the entire bundle of clothes in his arms and stalked off to the changing rooms, muttering a steady stream of obscenities under his breath.

Mortified, the owner turned to him with apologetic eyes, 'Begging your pardon Mr. Xavier; but I saw you walking arm in arm. No insult was intended to you or your friend.'

Charles smiled reassuringly, only vaguely registering that he had been identified by name. Perhaps his picture had been in the paper again. He pinched at the bridge of his nose to relieve his stress. 'Please ignore him. It is not you that he is mad at.'

TBC

***trainers- **a generic term for athletic shoes.


	27. A day out part2

Chapter 27- **A day out part2**

Erik vaguely looked over the aisles searching for his companion as he placed his final selection of clothing on the counter to be cashed.

He didn't think he had been abandoned but he knew that the Englishman wasn't pleased at his behavior, judging from the way he had angrily hissed at him from the other side of the changing room door. As he sedately disrobed and began trying on the various garments he wished to buy, he hadn't responded to Charles' declaration that he was impossible and he was never taking him anywhere ever again.

'Did my friend leave a message for me?' he inquired politely as the owner began ringing up the purchases at the register.

The older man smiled courteously and pointed to the doorway. The professor was in deep conversation with an unfamiliar young woman in the mall corridor.

Just as Erik was wondering if to wave to Charles to tell him that he needed some money he spied the professor's credit card on the counter. He glanced at the store proprietor but the man was keeping his expression professional, obviously taking great pains not to speak out of turn again. Erik was in no way embarrassed to be seen with Charles or even to be mistakenly called his boyfriend, however the store keeper had regrettably taken him by surprise and he had lashed out instinctively to keep a stranger away from their personal space. He didn't really care what other people thought but he was curious as to what the professor was thinking as regards this incident.

Their behavior apparently indicated to the owner that they were more than just friends although Erik wasn't sure what they had done. Had he said something to suggest that they were a couple? Perhaps even now, Charles thought Erik was leading him on and toying with his heart, but was too confused or upset to voice his concerns out loud. WAS he leading Charles on? If he was, he was doing so unconsciously because that would be dishonorable and vile. They were, without a doubt, becoming quite close and sometimes their mutual physical attraction strayed out of the bounds of good sense but he was certain that they were now good friends. Good friends who had an unfortunate desire to kiss at every turn, though. He sighed deeply as he pocketed Charles' credit card. They would both have to work harder to control that particular "friendly" impulse.

'I apologise for my earlier rudeness,' he offered quite insincerely as the owner handed him his purchases in two large paper bags. Erik was covering his bases just in case Xavier interrogated him later. He had come to realise that lying to the professor was quite unlike lying to anyone else. Erik then slowly crept towards the entrance contemplating what to do next.

They had never discussed how they would proceed if they met any of Charles' friends in public. The only person he knew outside of the young man's staff was Dr. McCoy and Hank was already aware of his personal history. In a side ways crab like motion Erik began moving towards a nearby bench leaving it up to the professor to decide what he wanted to do. He couldn't be offended if the young man chose to ignore his presence for the while. He hardly expected someone of Xavier's social standing to go around introducing his friend from prison to all and sundry. He found the idea that the professor couldn't be proud of him to be strangely distressing and he sat miserably on the hard wooden bench staring down at the tiled floor.

However, before he even had a chance to swing his bags up to the space next to him, Erik sprang up in stunned bewilderment as the Englishman approached with his friend in tow. He was thankful now that he had decided to walk out the store in some of his new clothes and he nervously straightened his jacket in an unconscious attempt to look more presentable. As it was, he didn't even have to bend his head as the unusually tall woman leaned forward to kiss his cheek in warm greeting and shake his outstretched hand.

'Jean, this is Erik. Erik this is Mrs. Jean Summers,' the young man introduced them. The name tickled something in his memory but he couldn't quite remember where he had heard it before. He sought out the professor's face and their eyes collided for a moment and unexpectedly Erik could see a warning flare in their blue depths. 'Jean is Logan's friend.'

'I am your friend too,' she protested gently, turning around to smile down at him.

Charles smiled in return and wound an arm around her waist so that the three of them now stood in a loose circle.

'It is so very good to see you up and about Jean,' the small man remarked in a soft voice. 'We've all been worried about you.'

Erik had not missed the way Charles pitched his voice as if he was speaking to a sick child or perhaps to some wary animal that he didn't want to frighten away. He turned his attention to study the woman at his side. He could perceive that Jean was once a great beauty; tall and stately. She was still beautiful of course but there were lines of strain bracketing her mouth and eyes, and a smattering of grey streaked her spectacular red hair. Erik recalled that she was a widow but he had no idea how long she had been such. She was quite young, and it was indeed a tragedy that her married life had been cut short.

'I just need a little more time,' she hesitantly replied, her eyes downcast as if ashamed that she couldn't respond more positively to his comment.

All life and animation suddenly seemed to go out of her like a popped balloon and she stared off uncomfortably into the distance. Charles threw panicked eyes in his direction, begging for assistance to recover from his unintended verbal misstep in the conversation.

'You have an interest in photography,' Erik said automatically as he gestured gracefully at the camera looped around her neck. 'This is an excellent model you are using.'

Charles breathed quietly in relief as Jean excitedly began pointing out all the state of the art features in her camera and then settled into sharing with Erik some of the views she had taken of the mansion. The larger man's face broke out in one of his rare, genuine smiles as he admired her stills of Charles' rose garden.

The professor knew that the older man wasn't a sociable person but Erik had risen magnificently to an unexpected occasion with compassion and genuine sincerity. For once words failed him and he could only look on in fond admiration as the tall man patiently listened to her somewhat technical discourse on light manipulation. He couldn't for the life of him figure out why Erik doubted himself so much. There was so much to him than just pain and anger; there was also gentleness and humanity, hidden deep only because of lack of use.

Abruptly, Jean realized she had lost the attention of her new acquaintance and she looked up to Erik in order to apologise for her ramblings. The words died in her throat as the two men beside her had clearly stopped paying attention as they stared into each other's eyes.

Just seeing the look that burned between them, made her think wistfully of her beloved Scott. They too could communicate without words and with just a glance she knew that everyday of their marriage she had been treasured and loved. To her eyes, Erik almost seemed to glow as he happily basked in Charles' presence; secure in the knowledge that he was both appreciated and wanted.

If it had been at all possible to untangle herself from their arms and back away, she would have done so without hesitation. The red head coughed gently to spare them any embarrassment they might have felt having a witness to such an intimate exchange. Curiously, the professor seemed to have an easier time collecting himself than his friend who had actually taken two hurried steps away from their conversation huddle.

'Jean, would you be so kind as to take a picture of Erik?' Charles asked quietly, smiling serenely to himself even as his companion was scowling fiercely at an innocent potted plant by his side.

That request was enough to transport the older man back to the present reality with a painful thump.

'WHAT?' he squawked unhappily. Suspiciously, his eyes cut to the small man as he hooked his arm in his to bring him closer, 'Why do you want my photograph?'

'You need a head shot for your Facebook page. You can't keep leaving it blank.'

'I never wanted to register in the first place! You bullied me into that.'

'I bully?' the professor intoned delicately with an arch look, 'Erik, please stop being so melodramatic and stand still. Did you get that link I sent you for the local sports car association?'

'Yes thank you. But Charles…', he whined as the smaller man nudged him next to a brightly flowering plant assumedly to be used as a nice background, 'you have a chess piece as your photograph, why can't I just do something like that.'

'Because I am already too visible to the public as it is, whereas we want to achieve the opposite for you,' he explained patiently.

Jean smiled quietly as she adjusted her camera settings. The warmth and ease of their friendship (being demonstrated at the moment by loud bickering) washed over her like a healing balm, quieting her mind and drawing her back from the edge of sad memories and thoughts.

'That's what YOU want!' the larger man objected vigorously, 'my life is fine without your insistent meddling.'

'Erik dear, you only have Matt and me on your friends list. Hank said he sent you a friend request a few days ago.'

The older man muttered belligerently under his breath.

'You should add him. He is seeking to improve his chess game.'

That gave Erik a pause because he really did enjoy playing and did not always want to ask the professor, especially on days when he had a late class at the university.

Charles, deciding he didn't like the flowered background, pushed him towards a fountain. 'You are going to thank me for this when you meet all those new people at work tomorrow. This is how the young people communicate!'

'I am going to work, NOT to make friends,' the other man argued determinedly.

'You can do both!' the professor retorted, starting to lose his temper now in turn.

The two men turned towards Jean hoping for some support in their respective viewpoints.

Wisely she smiled sweetly and said nothing as she held up her camera, 'whenever you are ready.'

After a brief tug of war with the shopping bags, Charles stepped away with the items allowing the woman to move forward to adjust the angle of Erik's body and face for the best showing. She worked swiftly, feeling the wave of tension radiating off her new friend. Her photographers' instincts told her that any moment he might bolt.

For a moment their eyes connected and she smiled in commiseration of his discomfort. Erik smiled reluctantly in return, 'he can be a stubborn old goat when he REALLY puts his mind to it!'

She giggled quietly at his rude observation, smoothing and arranging his hair artistically over his forehead.

'Just so you know, the old goat can HEAR you!' the Englishman frowned darkly up at him.

'That was the general IDEA!' Erik yelled back cheerfully.

'Charles is too alone in the world.' she added in a low whisper, 'You are good for him.' The flash of surprise on his face was plain for anyone to see and as she stepped away, Jean wondered at it.

'Bloody hell!' the professor suddenly shouted, as he fell over to prevent being nailed in the head by a large green and yellow parrot that had come out of no where.

'What the fuck?' Erik responded more colorfully, dashing forward to help Charles to his feet.

By this time ,mall patrons and shop owners were pointing and taking photographs as the large bird gracefully flew around in the glass panelled atrium.

'Where did that come from?' Erik asked.

'Perhaps it is someone's pet' the professor suggested as he dusted himself off, 'It most certainly is not native to here.'

They craned their necks as another bird of similar coloring soared overhead to join the first.

'Did you hear that?' Jean asked incredulously trying to peer around the corner and for the second time that morning Charles was bowled over, this time by a litter of enthusiastic, long eared puppies.

Erik quickly reached down and scooped up the tiny grey kitten that had been fleeing for her life from her canine attackers. Absently, he popped the shaking animal into his inner jacket pocket as he concentrated over the cacophony of voices around them.

'Charles, stay here with Jean!' he ordered. Over excited yips and the murmurs of the crowd that had happily surged forward to help the professor with his naughty armful of tail wagging, panting puppies, Erik had clearly heard a faint cry of help.


	28. A day out part3

**Anote :**Thanks "_TheForce 3434", _i appreciate your reviews. My writing buddy "_duskkkk"_ asked for a chapter that involved a visit to the pet store. I was trying to write an action sequence but by golly it was harder than i thought to get the tempo just right.

Chapter 28- **A day out part3**

Erik squatted carefully, looking around in apprehension at the broken glass surrounding the injured teenager.

'I've got paramedics on the phone!' someone yelled from behind him, 'is he breathing?'

The redhead lying on the floor rolled his eyes in amusement although Erik could see the hidden fear in their depths.

'Hi, my name is Sean,' he introduced himself bravely. Erik respected what he was trying do and introduced himself just as calmly.

'He's breathing and lucid,' he threw over his shoulder, 'ask them if it's okay if we move this cylinder of gas off his chest.'

'Forget me!' Sean yelped in worry. 'I'm fine! There was a cage of puppies just above me and I can't hear them now. Can you see them? Are the rest of the animals alright?'

'The dogs are fine, the crowd has them safe,' the man muttered reassuringly as his eyes swept the pet store around them. Naturally all the animals were agitated by the noise and peculiar activity around them. 'There are some open enclosures with rabbits that are just too close to have escaped all this glass though, we should move them. What happened?'

'HEY buddy! The paramedics say only remove the container if he's in terrible pain. They are a few minutes away.'

'I'm fine,' Sean insisted again. 'Please help the animals…oh god, are any of them bleeding? I am so getting fired.'

'ERIK! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?' Charles screeched, 'WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS IN THAT CYLINDER?'

'Whoa dude, tell your friend to chill out before he has an aneurism,' Sean joked feebly, 'It's empty. I was rolling it to the back of the store when I slipped and fell through the window.'

'The cylinder is empty and watch the glass,' Erik snapped irritably as the professor carefully picked his way forward. 'Didn't I tell you to stay back? We need to move these animals out of here. Any ideas?'

Immediately the Englishman began organizing a makeshift bucket brigade to transport the affected pets into the waiting arms of the children who had been herded into a tight circle in the middle of the corridor. Meanwhile, Erik began to carefully brush away the glass around Sean's head and hands looking for any hidden cuts or injuries, 'you're lucky that you are wearing long sleeves.'

'Don't move,' Charles counseled, squatting on the opposite side. 'You are going to be alright.'

'BE CAREFUL!' Erik suddenly shouted as the professors' balance wavered. Sean grabbed hold of Xavier's arm to steady him.

'Thanks,' Charles replied bemusedly as the red headed teen stared at him fixedly, 'alright there are we?' He craned his head slightly trying to get a good look into the teenager's freckled face. He was much too young to be one of his students. 'Do we know each other?'

'Please don't fire me,' Sean begged staring up into the professor's eyes, 'I know I should have waited for my boss to open the store but I didn't, and I'm sorry. Please, PLEASE!'

Erik backed off as he was nudged away by the paramedics; however Charles remained where he was trying to get the boy to calm down.

'Oh god…someone kill me now!' Sean rambled in panic.

The professor pressed down hard on the boy's hand. 'No one is getting dismissed; no one!'

'He probably thinks that because you own the mall, you were just going to fire him,' one of the parents suggested quietly to Xavier.

Erik was sure his ears failed him, 'You OWN the mall?'

'No I don't,' the small man snorted in amusement.

'Oh …well your picture is in the lobby,' the same parent offered unsurely. 'To be truthful, I never read the plaque thingee underneath it. You're Charles Xavier right?'

He glanced over at Erik and swallowed nervously as the taller man avoided his gaze. 'Well, maybe I do own the mall. Sometimes I don't keep track of everything my investors do.'

He formally shook the hand of the parent, 'Thanks for telling me. It sort of explains why everyone is staring at me as I stand here like a bloody idiot.'

Thankfully, the awkward moment was broken up as the paramedics gestured to the surrounding volunteers to lift the cylinder off of their patient. In that time, the professor inched towards Erik's side.

'Erik?' he called tentatively, trying to hold his hand. The older man still wouldn't look at him and what little he could see of his face was a dull brick red; a sure indication that the older man was teetering on the edge.

'Looks like just a couple of broken ribs son,' the medical persons announced to the relief of the waiting crowd, 'we'll take good care of you.'

'Erik please…,' the professor begged quietly, looking around furtively at the numerous cameras and cell phones that were still recording, '…please don't.'

The older man was waiting for him when he turned around and he almost jumped out of his skin as Erik softly cupped the side of his face, 'I'm not going to start shouting if that's what you are thinking.'

The professor hastily averted his eyes, unable to maintain his composure at the sudden intimate caress. 'Wait for me here. It's alright baby, I just need a moment.'

Unsurprisingly, his heart was beating madly as Erik released him; the whispered endearment sparking off an explosion of pleasurable heat throughout his body. However, the blue eyed man frowned anxiously as his friend strode away to a nearby drinking fountain. While he was quite proud of Erik for keeping calm and not giving in to his anger as he tended to do, he sincerely hoped that the man wasn't about to do anything foolish.

Erik cupped one hand and filled it with water before scooping the kitten out of his pocket. As she drank, he suddenly became aware of her rapid heartbeat in his palm and he marveled at the life in his hand. Small as she was, she was perfectly formed from the tips of her delicately pointed grey ears, to her soft white paws. After she had finished, the animal settled back confidently into the crook of his arm craning her head at impossible angles to observe him and then up at the intricate ceiling of glass overhead. He then took the opportunity to splash some water to cool his face and clear his head. It was oddly relaxing to hear and feel her contented purr and somehow his earlier discordant thoughts seemed to evaporate as he stroked her back.

'Now, this is a new jacket so I will be very annoyed if you decide to sneak a quick pee,' Erik warned, wagging a pointed finger in her face to emphasis his point.

The animal raised her yellow almond shaped eyes reproachfully to his as if the idea of urinating in his pocket had never crossed her furry little mind and he was an absolute cad to even suggest such a thing!

'HA!' he muttered under his breath, 'I am immune to your female wiles…now if you had big blue eyes, that would have been a problem.'

Very carefully though, he transferred the kitten to his front pocket, watching anxiously as she wriggled around seeking a comfortable position. Finally, she seemed content to stand and hook her two front legs over the edge inorder to better survey the world around her. After gliding forth a couple of steps without anything terrible happening, Erik quickly jogged back towards Charles' side, where he promptly knocked away the hand of some unfamiliar gentleman who was trying to herd the professor away from the crowd.

The manager of the mall cowered in fear as Erik loomed over him, crushing his fingers in a fake gesture of civility. Easily a foot taller, he stared down menacingly at the stranger who had had the temerity to push against Xavier's shoulder without his consent. The hard look on Erik's face was not at all softened by the fact that a small kitten was poking its head out of his pocket.

'Steady on old chap' the Englishman interrupted in a quiet, placating voice, 'the mall manager here was offering me a cup of coffee. Thank you sir, but I think it is my place to be here until the area is properly secured.'

The manager agreed quickly and as a reward Erik released his bruised fingers from the handshake. He then hastily slunk away into the crowd not even daring to look back at his patron and his excitable 'bodyguard'.

Hesitantly, Erik glanced at the professor from the corner of his eye wondering if he was going to be chastised again for bad behaviour. He felt his heart lift as he observed the resigned smile on Charles' face.

Good!

While he didn't have any particular wish to flatten anyone while the young man was watching that didn't mean he wouldn't, especially if it was a choice between that and keeping him safe.

Side by side, they companionably leaned against the railings observing the clean up that was now in progress. Jean was taking photographs of the children with the animals even as yellow tape was being strung across the store front to limit the public's contact with the broken glass.

'Erik you DO believe me when I say, that I didn't know I owned the mall?' the small man pressed, tenaciously restarting their previous conversation.

'Not at first,' he replied, 'but then I remembered that you aren't particularly good at any sort of subterfuge.'

Charles pressed his lips together in annoyance at Erik's condescending tone; as if his inability to lie convincingly was some huge pain in the ass weakness. 'Then….what was all that about, just now? Why did you have to take a time out?'

Erik exhaled heavily as he stared straight ahead. 'This is going to sound stupid, but I don't think it has ever dawned on me how rich you really are.'

The professor gaped at his profile in surprise and silently swore in his head. He had a sneaky suspicious where Erik was going with this based on how prickly the other man always became whenever the topic of money was brought up. 'My wealth is just a part of me like how my eyes are blue, my hair is brown and I will always be shorter than everyone in the room. These are characteristics about me that will never change. Well except for the hair...I suppose I will grey or… '

'Charles,' Erik hurriedly interrupted as if seized by a sudden inspirational idea, 'have you ever been with a man who wasn't in the same social circle as you are?'

The professor's protracted silence told him all that he needed to know.

'That's alright...this is not important,' Erik mumbled as he pushed off the railing. He didn't even know why he asked. The professor's love life was really none of his concern.

The young man reached out to snag his elbow and pull him back. He didn't quite know what to say to these concerns that the older man had. This unexpected vulnerability he was displaying was both terribly endearing and a blasted nuisance all at the same time. 'Erik, being able to provide financially is just one aspect in caring for someone.'

He watched worriedly as the older man crossed his arms defensively across his chest. Erik was again forcibly struck by the way the other man seemed to be so effortlessly reading his mind. 'I know it in my head,' he finally remarked in a low voice, 'but fully believing it? It's a pride thing, just be patient… don't give up on me.'

Charles threaded his arm through the other man's reassuringly, 'I am not going to give up on you.'

Tugging lightly until Erik stood facing him, the professor reached out to gently tickle underneath the kitten's neck as it stretched forward eagerly.

'I can take my private jet right now and go visit the Louvre museum or snorkel in the Great Barrier Reef or ride horses in Argentina. As cliché as this is going to sound, being able to do all of that means nothing if you don't have anyone that cares about you to share it with. He raised his eyes to look at the older man, 'trust me, I know this from first hand experience.'

Abruptly, Erik crowded him slightly to the point where Charles had to tilt his head back just so that he could continue to see into his face.

'So are you saying you are enjoying this trip to the mall more than say… a trip to the Louvre?'

'That is EXACTLY what I am saying.'

And there it was again…right there; a look of utter surprise mingled with deep longing before the expression vanished behind the wall Erik threw up. If Charles hadn't seen it happen so many times before he would have doubted that it occurred. As the older man turned his back to him, the professor pressed a shaking hand to his eyes. Anew he wondered what had happened in Erik's life to make him so afraid of what he was feeling. He sincerely hoped that these counseling sessions that Erik's parole officer had signed him up for could help.

'Is that the owner of the pet store?' Erik asked. 'I should return her.'

Confused, Charles lowered his hand.

'Her? How do you know your friend is a Her?'

Erik looked down and gently stroked the smooth head with one finger, 'It looks like a Her, don't you think?'

Laughingly, Charles held out his hands, 'Here let me see. I've had cats before.'

He looked on in amusement as the larger man tenderly shook each paw in an attempt to dislodge the minuscule yet dagger like claws. Erik then visibly began to cringe as she meowed piteously perhaps realizing that her savior was harboring evil thoughts of tearing her from her warm retreat. After a minute or so of painstaking effort he managed to get one leg free from the fabric.

'Erik leave her be. The store is a mess; we'll bring her back tomorrow when they have cleaned up.'

The professor bit his lip to prevent himself from laughing out loud at the look of utter relief that the taller man had bestowed on him. Was this really the same person who had been prepared to stomp all over the mall director a few minutes ago?

'I'll talk to the owner and you go and grab Jean so we can find some food,' the Englishman directed with a tired sigh, 'what a morning! I thought shopping was supposed to be relaxing. Perhaps, I should have taken a valium.'


	29. A day out part4

**Anote:** Hey everyone. I will be going on vacation soon so please put me on your story alerts for future chapters.

Chapter 29- **A day out part4**

Being a weekday, the food court was pleasantly empty and the trio could take their pick of seats, finally settling on a curved cushy booth in the corner to better conceal the kitten from any curious tattle tales. Leaving Jean to stand guard over all their shopping, the boys purchased and quickly returned laden down with trays of the selected food items. Charles could feel Erik's tension as he pulled out his wallet to pay for his lunch but the older man kept his opinions to himself and the professor didn't try to reassure him again. It was just something that the other man would have to come to grips with somehow. However, he knew the older man still had his credit card and the Englishman was so busy pondering how to convince Erik to hold on to it (in case of the inevitable emergency that always seemed to crop up when you didn't have any money) that he failed to notice that his friends had protectively squashed him in the middle of the communal seat.

Erik silently saluted Jean with an approving nod but then looked on with growing irritation as the professor inhaled his food like there was no tomorrow. 'If you were so hungry, why the fuck didn't you tell me before now?'

He paused in the middle of his angry rant when Charles held out a raised palm, unable to respond at that precise moment as his cheeks were packed with McDonald fries. Uneasily Jean's eyes flicked between the two of them as she tentatively chewed a bite of her meatball subway. This was clearly a real fight that was brewing infront of her; not the playful banter from before.

The small man swallowed hurriedly and smiled gleefully down at his Happy meal, 'Calmly Erik, you are scaring Jean.'

'Pay him no mind,' the Englishman informed her with a cheeky twinkle, 'I don't think he can go an entire day without yelling at something or someone.'

Somehow, the young woman was not entirely surprised when Erik turned purple.

'Xavier, please stop eating so quickly before you make yourself sick,' he warned the smaller man in a deceptively calm voice that hinted he was moments away from committing premeditated manslaughter.

Unconcerned by such a potential threat to his life, Charles tossed another handful of fries in his mouth and took another large sip of his strawberry milkshake before answering.

'I can't help it,' he replied almost inarticulately around his mouthful of fast food, 'they have the most wonderful fries.'

Jean shrugged helplessly as the older man turned to her for some explanation as to why the professor was suddenly acting like an over sugared toddler. Together, they looked on with bemused wonder as furtively, Charles looked over his shoulder before grabbing at his kiddie burger, 'Any minute now I am expecting Cook to come out of nowhere and rap me on the head. She would never let me eat this normally. You are not going to say anything to her, right?'

When the young man looked at him with a panicked expression, Erik didn't know if to laugh or if to reach over and slap Charles in the head for his own satisfaction. He would never understand this bizarre relationship that the professor had with his staff.

'I will tell her you had the salad,' the larger man reassured him, 'IF, you slow down a bit.'

Obediently, Charles slowed his rate of munching.

Reassured now that she wouldn't be reading the professor's obituary in the evening papers, the red head subsequently excused herself to use the ladies. Erik drew her camera closer to his hand for safekeeping even as he carefully checked that she was out of hearing.

'What happened?' he whispered anxiously to the professor, titling his head in the direction that Jean had vanished in.

The other man wiped his fingers absently on his napkin trying to find the right words.

'Her husband was killed in a car accident about 18 months ago.'

'Why do I feel there is an "and" attached to what you are saying?'

' …and,' Charles raised an unhappy eyebrow, 'she was driving.'

The older man leaned back, unconsciously stroking the kitten's spine as she butted her face in his side. (It was a her, Charles had checked)

'Physically Jean has recovered from her injuries but the doctors say she is possibly suffering from…'

'Survivors' guilt?' Erik interjected questioningly.

The professor stared curiously before the older man suddenly realized what he had done.

'So are you going to tell me how and why you know about survivor's guilt?' the young man inquired when Erik looked at him in silence.

'Yes Xavier. I have much to tell you but not now,' he replied quickly, 'we are in the middle of a food court.'

Agitatedly Charles tapped the table top with his plastic fork; another topic to add to the long list of things that Erik didn't want to talk about. They couldn't go on like this. HE couldnt go on like this.

'Erik love, don't let the cat lick milk off your fingers!' he remarked hurriedly. 'I am not carting you to the emergency room in the dead of night because she takes a bite out of your hand. Use the dropper in the bag.'

The kitten immediately stopped stalking the toy from Charles' happy meal as her new favorite human waved a dropper full of milk above her. The professor felt an irrational stab of jealously when the older man gifted the animal with a gentle smile. However, seeing that he was now in such a good mood, Charles thought he would try again.

'Has it occurred to you Erik, that there may never be a good time to "talk about it"?'

The older man scowled at his tenacity although he agreed in theory with what the Englishman had just said. He would let Charles judge for himself. 'It was suggested to me because I was standing next to my mother when she was killed'.

To Erik's surprise, the small man didn't flinch as he had expected him to. Most people did.

'Alright there?' he inquired just in case. Charles nodded vaguely, wondering if there was some significance to Erik saying 'she was killed' instead of 'she had died'.

'I'm fine. What about you? Do you think you can talk to Jean a bit? She doesn't talk to ANYONE, not even John!'

The older man blanched at his request. 'I'd rather not.'

'If you mother was here…'

'Well she is NOT here!'

'If your mother was here and she had to do it all over again, I am sure she wouldn't change a thing. She wouldn't want you to be unhappy that you are alive while she is not.'

As Jean took her seat, the older man rose with an undecipherable mumble and stalked away to the McDonald's counter.

'What happened?' she asked in some surprise, wondering what could have possibly occurred within the last five to eight minutes to put such a black look on the man's face. Logan had gossiped to her that he thought the two men were a couple but she was beginning to have some doubts. They really seemed to have a lot of issues.

'I don't think Erik is coping with his mother's death as well as he think he is,' the professor answered cunningly, suddenly hit by a risky but inspirational idea, 'don't tell him I told you.'

She nodded readily in agreement, feeling a wave of connection with the other man because of his tragic loss. Was his mother's death recent? Did it happen when he still in prison? Dear god, how terrible!

'I wish he could find someone to talk too!' Charles sighed dramatically. His heart was pounding erratically as he tried to keep a straight face, 'I am so worried about him but I just don't understand what he is saying!'

The professor narrowed his eyes as a large group of serving girls all crowded Erik trying to pet and cuddle the small kitten that had poked her head out He thought he would lose his lunch right there and then as they giggled and cooed in tandem. However, he quietly rejoiced to see Jean also watching Erik with a contemplative expression. He couldn't believe he was meddling in Erik's personal affairs like this! The older man was going to kill him when he found out what he had done, but it would be worth it in the end if he could get his two friends to open up and talk.

Suddenly, the Englishman became pale and turned his face away.

'Jean, Erik and I are not together. Don't say anything,' Charles begged in an agonized whisper as the tall man sat down.

He had placed a large portion of fries on the professor's plastic tray and then sat back with a confused expression. While he didn't expect the young man to jump into his lap and kiss him, he had thought that he would at least get a bright thank you.

'What's wrong?'

Charles nibbled on the edge of one of the fries with a marked decrease in enthusiasm for the tasty treat.

'I think the professor was wondering if you were going to use that phone number the counter girl just slipped you,' Jean replied as casually as if she was telling him the time.

The older man cut his eyes to Charles' mortified expression with a frown, 'Sorry you had to see that, she took me by surprise.'

The young man nodded quickly but still didn't look up from where he was studying his Heinz ketchup packet.

'You didn't REALLY think that some chit of a teenage girl would interest me?' Erik retorted angrily. He searched his pockets to find the bill on which she had scrawled her phone number, before crushing it into a ball and pelting it in the professor's direction.

'Thanks,' he sneered sarcastically, 'Thanks for nothing!'

The two men ignored Jean who was making little 'okay-let's-try-to-be-calm' gestures with her hands.

'Don't take that tone with me! I'm not the one who admitted that he shags everything that moves!' the young man volleyed back nastily. He dropped the ketchup and clapped his hand against his traitorous mouth. He didn't say that…no, he didn't. That was obviously his evil twin dropping by for a surprise visit.

In the meantime, Erik looked across at him with an unreadable expression and after a heavy pause, in which the ground did NOT conveniently open up and swallow him whole, Xavier tried to apologise.

'I think I've already warned you about putting words in my mouth. I never said any such thing,' Erik interrupted him in a tight voice, 'and I do NOT appreciate this!'

The professor closed his eyes in misery. Over the last couple of weeks he had gotten quite adept at teasing Erik out of his little bouts of bad humor but he could tell he wasn't going to be successful now. He hated when they fought like this, it made him feel ill and even now he could feel his tummy churn uncomfortably with all the greasy food that he had perhaps unwisely consumed.

'That girl really doesn't do anything for me Charles,' the older man added in a remarkably calm voice given the circumstances. 'So …um….don't worry about it, okay?'

'Mrow?' came a hopeful purr from his coat pocket.

'I like you a lot,' Erik addressed the animal that was looking up at him, 'but sorry, you don't do anything for me either. For reasons I can't explain, I fancy the jealous guy over there with the ketchup smeared on his cheek.'


	30. In the meantime

**Anote: **Hallo. Thanks to everyone who has favorited this story and wrote to tell me they couldn't put my fanfiction down. That's incredibly flattering to an amateur scribbler like myself**. **This chapter is a bit of a filler just so that get my bearings again. As an aside, i do love the singer Adele!

Chapter 30- **In the meantime...**

People talk a lot about death; about seeing lights and your life flashing before your eyes but Erik hoped that he would experience none of those things or if he did, at least he wished to see some of the more pleasant things to happen in his life. Things like growing up in his village and wasting time with his friends at the river everyday or meeting the professor and suddenly being excited about living his life again.

'Same dream?' Logan asked quietly. 'Here, drink this water. I'll go find you something stronger. Between you and me, I don't think this therapy you are taking is really helping.'

In the meantime, all Erik could manage was to lean over the bed and try not to throw up. He nodded his head in agreement as he tried to rid himself of the last vestiges of his nightmare. With a deep, pang of misery he could just spy a pair of tiny, scared eyes looking at him from underneath his dresser drawer. After weeks of dithering and making excuses as to why he didn't have time to return the kitten to the pet store, the professor had stopped asking Erik what he wanted to do and the endearing newborn remained with the man who had saved her.

'Come Ash, come…' he whispered in vain trying to lure her out. She crept out a few inches but no further. Perhaps it would be better to find her a new family; one in which she wasn't traumatized night after night.

He was relieved when Logan quickly returned with his unlabelled bottle of something brown looking and a packet of cigarettes.

'The professor's in the corridor looking shifty. He wants to know if he can come in and see you.'

'I TOLD you not to….'

'…no one said anything to him. The whole mansion could hear you screaming.'

Oh bugger! (to borrow one of the professor's profanities) Logan was right! These blasted counseling sessions that his parole officer insisted he take were NOT working! It was strange because even though he didn't actively participate, just sitting there in the group circle, listening to everyone drone on and on about their lives and what their mother and father did or didn't do, obviously seemed to have affected his unconscious on some imperative level. All it proved was that if he didn't do something, he would never be free of his past.

Erik drained his glass in a huge gulp as he stared at the closed door, 'How loud was I this time?'

'Honestly, it sounded like if you were getting your leg sawed off at the very least. You and Charles fighting again?' Logan asked sympathetically, looking down at the man who had flopped spread-eagle back onto his bed.

Erik dragged deeply on his cigarette as he stared at the ceiling, considering a reply.

'No….yes…be damned if I know.'

The handy man nodded his head in a been-there-done-that motion as he picked up his bottle of 'medicinal' whisky and the empty glass before quietly exiting the room.

'ERIK!' What are you DOING?' Charles screeched, 'Are you trying to set yourself on FIRE?!'

'Shit Xavier,' the older man snapped back, 'cant you just give it a break, for once!'

Ultimately, the professor decided to hold his tongue; he was NOT starting a fight at two o'clock in the morning. Instead he sat on the edge of the bed and placed a comforting hand on Erik's thigh which the other man promptly took in his.

'Did you hear me up on your floor?' Erik remarked in a calmer voice as if attempting to amend for his previous harsh words. 'I'm sorry that I scared you.'

'I thought Ashley was murdering you in your bed,' the professor replied lightly, responding favorably to his attempt the turn the conversation. 'Do you want to talk about it?'

However, the idea of discussing his most recent nightmare with the man at his side chilled him to the core.

'Why do you ALWAYS ask me that?' Have I EVER wanted to talk about it?' Erik yelled out loud, dropping their joined hands and waving his arms around in exasperation. The young man winced as a trail of soot from the cigarette fell on the bed clothes and the cat wisely retreated once again under the dresser drawer. Utterly irritated now by his own inconsistent responses, the larger man scrubbed at his tired face with one hand before pulling the professor up and across his chest where Charles quickly turned his head away to avoid his caress. 'Erik, please don't. I dislike the taste of cigarettes.'

This unexpected rebuke on top of everything else, naturally aggravated and flustered the older man to such a degree that he pushed him away; a gesture which made Charles gently topple of the side of the bed. 'Christ! You said I never had to ask your permission to kiss you. Why did you come? Just get out! Just GO!'

'WAIT!' Erik cried out in shocked horror, as the surprising sound of his bedroom door clicking close, had him half stumbling, half rolling off the bed.

The older man stood there feeling fifteen shades of stupid because the professor was still on his side of the door.

Charles smiled in gentle understanding. 'Calmly dearest, I think I have known you long enough to be able to distinguish cranky-Erik from angry-Erik.'

'I don't know what you are talking about,' cranky-Erik protested feebly, as he dropped heavily in a cushy armchair. He watched with hooded eyes as the professor bustled around his room in a decidedly domestic fashion, stripping the bed of its sweaty bed sheets so that it could air out quickly.

Hesitantly, the older man opened his arms and almost like it was second nature, the small man sat on his lap and offered him a fresh cigarette while holding an astray aloft in the other hand. For a few minutes Erik puffed away in silence as he wrapped his arm around the professor who was now lying peacefully against his chest. 'You're like an angel Xavier. I don't know why you put up with an animal like me.'

The small man laughed quietly, 'HA! I am sure you say that to ALL your girls. I am wise to your ways now, Romeo.'

Erik dropped a quick kiss on the top of his head in response to this bit of teasing. He knew the smaller man was initially dismayed by the number of strangers that would just walk up to Erik out of the blue and introduce themselves but after awhile the professor seemed to derive much amusement from the whole matter. According to him, watching the older man get rid of these hopeful admirers was most entertaining in no small part because of Erik's superior command of colorful obscenities and his all round antisocial tendencies.

'You're not an animal you're just having a bad night,' Charles concluded in a firm voice.

That was an understatement but due to the influence of a good drink, two cigarettes and a concerned friend, it was getting better by the second. He scowled when he suddenly realized that Charles didn't have his dressing gown over his pajamas.

'Are you warm enough, little one?'

Erik was not only grateful for Charles' mild acceptance of this incident but for his acceptance of the whole soap opera that his life had devolved into. He felt a vague sort of unease in drawing Charles into such a murky and uncertain relationship, and it would have been the honorable thing to step aside and allow the young man to get on with his life. A part of him had even briefly reflected on accepting his parole officer's offer of a room at the parole house. The semi furnished room was just standing there empty and he knew that because part of his salary went into maintaining the rent each week.

However, being self denying and unselfish were not his strengths. He didn't WANT to give up seeing the professor everyday, as Charles was now his best source of comfort and happiness as he tried to navigate the strangeness of a 'nine to five' job. If he heard _**Adele **_yodeling over the bookstore's sound system one more time he would violate his parole and cheerfully strangle someone. Knowing that Charles was there at the end of the day was sometimes the only way he could keep it all together. If he could just continue to ignore the ridiculous office politics that seemed to come to a head in the lunch room every single day, he would be alright. Usually he sat in a corner sneering at them all from behind his peanut butter sandwich while they fought and subtly insulted each other with a viciousness that at times surprised even him.

His job wasn't all a fucked up drama though. The time when he got promoted to the main floor's travel/ language section and the professor tried to cook him dinner to celebrate and they wound up buying Chinese take out food because he put too much pepper flakes in everything, stood out as one of the better memories. They had sat in Charles' kitchen and talked all night about books, music and all the countries they had visited. WHY couldn't he dream about something like THAT instead of his mum falling to the ground in an ever widening pool of dark blood?

Now more than ever, he felt the strange urge to just blurt it all out, the entire truth about him hunting Shaw all over Europe and now America, but of course he didn't. What would Charles say to something like that? He couldn't begin to imagine the subsequent conversation.

In the meantime, he tried to make the time they had left together as happy as possible. It wasn't too hard once you paid attention and he suspected that the Englishman was also thinking along the same lines. When the professor invited him to a car show, he reciprocated by attending a snore-fest of a lecture at the university. When he saw Charles cutting flowers for the table where they had their meals, he prepared huge vases of the professor's favourite orange roses for his apartment. When the small man wanted to attend some charity raising opera performance, he...er…alright, he pretended to have a migraine. (You couldn't get everything in life!)

He did wonder why Charles would actually put up with him though, a man who professed to love him but didn't do a damn thing about it. Did Xavier have no self respect at all? But as the young academic had cryptically put it as they strolled through the gardens one day before dinner, he believed that love could not be possessed like a piece of furniture, it could only be experienced. The death of his father followed closely by that of his mother a few years later, had taught him the folly of trying to hold on to people too tightly. That sort of odd thinking suited Erik's purposes just fine.

The only condition that the professor had set was that Erik would tell him when he was leaving and not vanish into thin air. He readily gave his word as the young man unexpectedly dissolved into sobs and Erik had been forced to hastily scoop him up and hide him in his room before Logan got wind of it and tried to murder him with his pruning shears. The sight of Charles curled up in a tight ball of misery in the middle of his bed was one of the few times that Erik began to think that everything was not going to work out so well in the end. But it was hard to think about that incident with a sleepy and relaxed professor wrapped up around his torso.

'Why don't you summarise for me what exactly we were disagreeing about at dinner?' Erik inquired mildly; feeling sufficiently mellowed enough to return to the earlier acrimonious topic. 'I am afraid you lost me somewhere in the middle.'

He winced as Charles neatly cuffed him in the bicep, 'what you really mean, is that you've put the argument out of your head and now you can't remember.'

While this was true, Erik didn't see the relevance of that particular distinction to the conversation at hand.

He slapped what he hoped was a penitent expression on his face and the professor seemed satisfied enough to proceed. 'What is going on with you and Hank? I have heard how you respond to him when he tries to talk to you.'

Right. Hank.

He stalled for time as he helped Ash to clamber up his pants legs and into the professor's arms. Erik shrugged, 'I am not really good at conversation Charles and you know that.'

'But you have no trouble talking to John…'

'….Logan barely speaks at all.'

'And you talk to Jean whenever she comes over. …'

'….she knows when to back the fuck off.'

Charles looked into his face and frowned at these unhelpful replies.

'Alright, alright, I am hedging the truth a bit,' Erik finally admitted, 'maybe you're not seeing it but your friend Hank is afraid of me. For YOU alone, I am willing to be civil but until he gets a grip, he shouldn't try to talk to me. You should be asking HIM what his problem is!'

The professor patted the other man's chest to soothe him as Erik was clearly becoming irritated all over again at what he considered to be the good doctor's irrational fear of him. Hank wasn't afraid, he was nervous; what homosexual man wouldn't be around a man like Erik? However, Charles couldn't give that as a possible explanation as his university colleague had not given him permission to share his orientation with others. 'I'll talk to him and I am thanking you in advance for being civil.'

Charles grinned at the unusually pleased expression on the other man's face.

'I am getting better and better at this conflict resolution stuff my counselor keeps harping on. I think I deserve a reward,' the older man finally concluded as he stood and gently deposited the other man on the edge of the unmade bed. 'Hang on a second; I think I have some chewing gum in this drawer.'

'You really want to kiss me that bad?' Charles inquired with a bored, flippant sigh.

Erik stopped rummaging in the drawer of his bedside table and slowly straightened to his full height to glare down at Xavier. The Englishman's eyes momentarily flicked to the door, carefully judging the distance as he calculated the probabilities of outrunning Erik's much longer stride.

'I am just thinking about you!' the professor cried in mock outrage at the stunned look on his face, 'don't you want to sleep at all tonight?'

What was this all about? It really sounded as if Charles didn't want him.

'You think that me, kissing you, is going to make me more awake? Erik sneered, crossing his arms defensively across his chest.

'I know it will,' the smaller man retorted with an impish grin and a suggestive eyebrow waggle.

'Why you brazen bit of British baggage!' Erik growled, suddenly catching on and with panther like quickness the older man pinned him to the mattress, 'I will make you sorry you were ever born.'

In a nearby corridor, Logan stopped dead at the garbled shriek that assaulted his hearing, but then smiled and shook his head as the sound of someone familiar being mercilessly tickled to death, followed him all the way back to his room.


	31. Cold feet part1

Chapter 31- **Cold feet part1**

When his favourite houseguest opened his bedroom door still dressed in his usual grey sweats, the professor felt his heart plummet in disappointment. 'Erik, you forgot!'

The older man folded his arms and leisurely leaned against the doorframe, 'Charles, this is your house. You don't really have to knock.'

He then took his time to look the smaller man up and down, 'you look nice.'

Naturally, Charles felt himself turn hot under Erik's admiring gaze. 'Thank you and if you hurry and put on your suit, we can still make the wedding. I can't believe you forgot! You never forget anything…oh! You didn't forget!'

The other man sighed despairingly as the professor glowered up at him, 'I don't even know these people.'

'Muriel's granddaughter is the bride.'

'…who?'

'Dear god, Erik! Muriel kitty sits for you everyday!'

The taller man looked fondly down at the other man. Trust Xavier to get all wrapped up in his staff's personal lives.

'Well I am going,' Charles announced firmly, 'so if you don't come, you will be here all alone.'

Erik shrugged nonchalantly as if it didn't really matter to him. He thought he could have coaxed Charles into staying with him but from the determined set of his shoulders, he could see the young man would not be swayed in his plans for the evening.

The professor fidgeted nervously with his tie at this unexpected negative response, 'well weddings are a good place to meet people. Who knows what the night might bring?'

He flushed again, this time with embarrassment as Erik doubled over with the complete opposite to genteel laughter. The older man had obviously seeing right through his rather pathetic attempt to goad him into action through jealously.

'You will not be bringing any strange men back to this house,' the taller man sternly warned him with a playful wag of his index finger. 'You don't know the kind of degenerates out there who would just LOVE to snap up a tempting little morsel like yourself.'

Grrr… Erik was enjoying himself way too much now!

'Oh shut up,' the small man muttered as the other man dragged him into the room by his arm. 'The only degenerate here is you.'

Suddenly, Erik's entire mood shifted and he inhaled sharply as the older man crushed him against a wall, forcing his head back to look into his eyes, 'I mean it Xavier. Be careful who you bring back here. Do NOT underestimate what I would do if I found out someone hurt you!'

The cold, dark expression made the small man shiver in fear and astonishment. He had gotten so use to Erik's silent staring that he was rather shocked at such an explosive display of emotion towards him.

'I will be careful,' he reassured him. The strength and calmness in his voice pulled Erik from the fey mood that had abruptly came over him and hastily he released the professor's arms and proceeded to help him straighten his suit and tie.

'Sorry,' he mumbled. Charles smiled understandingly and stretched forward to warmly kiss him on the cheek. 'That's alright.'

The professor felt he could get use to this. Erik was such an unpredictable mix of strength and gentleness, passion and reserve. Recently, he found that he was having a hard time remembering what his life was like before he met Erik in the prison library. He just knew that it must have been dull and grey in stark comparison to how he felt now.

Briefly the older man raised their joined hands to his lips. 'Give me a minute to get ready. CURSE IT, what's wrong now?'

He was asking the question to Charles' back as the young man had promptly swiveled around to face the wall.

'ERIK, WHAT are you DOING? Go …go change in the bathroom.'

The older man looked down at himself. From the way the professor was reacting, one would think he was dangling out of his sweat pants as opposed to having only removed his tee-shirt. He took the opportunity to snigger at the young man's expense. 'I don't know why you are hiding your face, Xavier. It's not everyday that you get to see a fine looking chest like mine!'

'Erik pleasssssse!' the smaller man begged as he inched away, flapping an agitated arm towards the washroom area, 'Just go that way and change.'

The other man mischievously swooped down infront him causing Charles to back peddle in another direction. 'I really like this whole sexually repressed problem that you have going on here. I have a feeling that you don't like to do it with the lights on, am I right?'

'I am NOT repressed!' the professor squeaked in alarm as he ran out of space and hit a wall, 'I am British!'

He was strongly tempted to rub Charles' face against his bare chest just to enjoy watching him squirm, but Erik magnanimously resisted as the Englishman looked like he was just about ready to have heart palpitations.

'Breathe, Xavier!' he barked out.

Immediately the young man let out an explosive sigh as he released the oxygen he didn't realize that his lungs were holding on to. After a few minutes Erik was pleased to see that his little friend had returned to his normal color. 'See…I am harmless. Should I wear the black or the navy?'

Charles coughed to clear his throat, 'the navy. We don't want to stand out too much.' (Harmless my ass!)

With a quiet groan, the professor shook his head to clear it as the older man stalked off to his bathroom, resembling a lean but muscular cat more and more, now that he had his tee-shirt off.

'I guess you are used to it,' Charles whispered to Ash who was perched majestically on top of the dresser drawers observing them diligently, 'But sometimes I think I am in WAY over my head.'

The kitten purred ecstatically as the professor expertly groomed her with her brushes before attaching a fine chain to her harness. He had to keep her at arm's length because he was wearing a dark suit but she was too engrossed in washing her paws to be any trouble. In any case, she had very fickle tastes and would not always tolerate another human besides her master taking her in their arms. The professor frowned absently, wondering if she was mimicking some of Erik's antisocial behaviours.

'We can't take the cat to someone's wedding?' the older man asked in confusion as he opened the door and walked out of a cloud of steam, fully dressed.

Oh wow!

It would be impossible for them NOT to attract attention because with his height and good looks Erik would stand out anywhere. The professor truly appreciated that the older man didn't let it go to his head. He had more of a 'you can take it or leave it' sort of attitude as regards his handsome features rather than a staged 'GQ-type' appearance.

'Of course we must take her!' Charles replied distractedly as one of his dreams of seeing Erik in an expensive suit had become reality. 'I am sure Muriel will be depending on her company. Oh Erik, you didn't even read your invitation, did you?'

Curiously he followed the small man out the door and down the corridor but to his surprise they did not turn left towards the garages.

'Oh…. my …god!' he breathed out at the fairy like scene before him. In the growing dusk, the hints of the Christmas tree lights hidden in all the surrounding plants were just beginning to twinkle but that could not compare to the artfully arranged flowers, lighted arches and fountains that surrounded the happy couple and the congregation.

'Did you pay for this?' Erik asked baldly, and then glared at the hired wait staff who hissed at him to remain silent as the ceremony had progressed well past 'Dearly beloved.'

The professor ducked his head in humiliation at the censure in Erik's voice and stared off in another direction. The older man could make out the words 'recession' and 'gift' in his muttered reply.

Wonderingly he grabbed Charles' chin to turn his face up towards him, 'no no, you don't understand. If our positions were reversed, and I was as disgustingly rich as you… this is amazing.'

Erik leaned forward to lightly kiss his lips, 'You're amazing.'

The young man glowed shyly at this unlooked for praise as Erik continue to caress his cheek with the back of his hand.

'Come with me,' Charles said softly, tugging at his arm so that they could creep into the back where the rest of the mansion's inmates stood. The staff obligingly made room for the two of them, cheerfully nudging and winking at each other, to see the men arm in arm. Naturally, Erik sighed loudly at these poorly concealed antics but said nothing as Charles pressed a finger against his smiling lips, warning him to ignore the now familiar attempts of match making going on around them. If only he had asked Logan how to cut the roses instead of one of the passing under gardeners, the entire staff would NOT have found out and taken up this rather enthusiastic but unwelcome crusade to see their relationship succeed.

Suddenly, Erik let loose a ripe oath as Ash bounded away, causing him to clutch at Charles' arm in panic as she quickly trotted up the aisle much to the amusement of everyone else. Reaching the first row of elegantly, decorated chairs the kitten leaped into Muriel's arms as the dear lady sobbed unrestrainedly into a handkerchief. There was an appreciative titter from the crowd as the old woman wrapped her arms around her feline charge, which appeared to be meowing words of comfort into her ear.

Erik started to breathe again as everyone around them laughed quietly at the charming exchange between human and animal.

'Nicely done,' Charles winked at him conspiratorially, as if the older man had planned this all along.

'That took hours and hours of training,' he replied in the same vein, relieved that he wasn't at that moment chasing the animal around the garden and through the wedding guests. He turned to embrace Jean who had sidled up on his other side dressed in stunning purple. Her escort looked but mercifully, Logan made no comment as to who was draped on Erik's arm. The Englishman waved merrily at the newcomers.

As they finally settled down to listen to the familiar ceremony, if Erik wasn't actually straining to hear it, he would have missed Charles' soft, sad sigh under the loud, confident voice of the priest. Truth be told, he was actually surprised that the professor wanted to attend a wedding given his rather unorthodox viewpoints on relationships. He gathered the man closer so that they could speak quietly.

'Do you want to leave?' he whispered into his small ear.

'I'm fine.'

'You're not fine!'

'They are so…courageous, don't you think Erik? I dont think i could…'

Erik hugged him tightly as his voice broke.

'What about you? Were your parents happily married?' the professor asked hastily, trying to shift the conversation away from himself. 'Do you want to get married?'

'What is this? Are you asking me to marry you?' Erik replied in surprise, 'Goodness gracious, I don't think I've blushed this much in over a decade.'

Unbeknownst to them, every ear within a two meter radius swiveled in their direction.

As he had hoped, Charles visibly brightened at his gentle teasing. 'Marry you? No, not at the moment, MAYBE, when you are less of a degenerate.'

'Not at the moment,' the mansion workers muttered among themselves, pleased that it wasn't an outright no. 'Degenerate?'

'Ha hah, you have jokes.' Erik whispered sarcastically, giving the professor a tight squeeze around his middle to repay him for the insult. 'My parents loved each other passionately and sensibly and if I am fortunate enough, I guess…. it's what I would want for myself.'

'But?'

Christ! How the hell did he get himself in these situations!

'But marriage little one, is about compromise and that means I am going to eventually wind up as a mean, decrepit bachelor with twenty-one cats because I am fairly certain that I am NOT going to find someone who will put up with my brand of bullshit.'

'Just remember Erik, you don't have to find several someones,' Jean whispered in the silence as the bride and groom began exchanging rings, 'you just have to find ONE someone.'

Charles' loyal staff nodded in agreement and smiled encouragingly at the tall man.

'Um…yes,' Erik agreed reluctantly, starting to feel hemmed in by all this accommodating attention. He gave Charles an irritated shake to get him to stop giggling at his predicament. 'Stop that! You are no help at all.'


	32. Cold feet part2

Chapter 32- **Cold feet part 2**

For as long as she could remember, she usually sat on the sidelines when everyone else was dancing. It was a quirk Jean had developed at an early age.

It's not that the lithe, red head minded dancing with shorter men, it was the way they looked at her as if she was a freak that really irritated her; like it was her fault that she was so much taller than they were. However, agreeing to be Logan's escort had guaranteed that she could at least indulge in a pair of heels without worry. Besides which, between other willing partners like Erik, Hank and Charles she had expected to have a full card. What she didn't expect was to be standing in the middle of floor while Erik gawked unhappily at the professor and his dance partner.

'Erik, let's sit,' she whispered, trying to lead him to one side, 'you look…tired.'

From the seat section, John had risen to his feet in concern, now noticing what Erik's intent focus had settled on.

Apologetically, her dance partner began moving her towards where the handyman stood, 'I'm sorry. Do you mind dancing with Logan for awhile? I can't…I think I need to sit this one out.'

'Once more around the floor,' she pleaded, trying to keep him talking rationally.

He hesitated but then obediently tightened his grip and she was thankful that he was now focused on her face, rather than staring at Charles and Hank who were twirling away a few couples down from them. 'You're upset Erik. What's wrong?'

After a minute of silence where she grew increasingly nervous, the older man pointed towards the two men with their clasped hands, 'I wished I had known about McCoy. I didn't know he was gay. I was so mean to him, Jean.'

The woman in his arms smiled in stunned surprise. She thought he had been jealous that Charles was dancing with another man!

'Henry only came out recently. I think having Xavier as a friend really helped him get his courage in the end,' she confided in him, nodding discreetly towards John to let him know all was well.

That didn't surprise Erik in the least. Charles had a special way with people and he was filled with pride that this strong, compassionate man chose to call him friend. He didn't deserve him.

'I don't deserve him,' Erik mumbled to his partner which caused Jean to duck her head so he wouldn't see her smiling even more at such an unusually,vulnerable sentiment from the normally, self confident man at her side.

Having completed the requested turn on the floor, he handed the woman to her official escort with thanks, before grabbing a drink from the bar. Thoughtfully, he stared at Charles in the distance who was busy maintaining a steady one sided dialogue, trying to keep his clearly frightened and pale colleague on the dance floor.

Why hadn't Xavier told him! It explained so much now. With a heartfelt sigh, Erik painful reviewed each moment of interaction that he had had with McCoy, wincing anew at each instance where he could have been more patient and reasonable. Although why he should care was beyond him. Cheese on toast! This was Charles' mellowing influence!

Wait...cheese on toast? What the...?

Suddenly, one of the wedding guests zoomed under his nose, interrupting his internal dialogue.

'Do you want to dance?' she asked bravely. Erik smiled affably at the pretty young woman before frowning darkly at the overabundance of make up she had used to cover up her youthful features.

'Are you even old enough to be out of diapers?' he asked seriously. Mortified, the girl slunk away to join her group of inappropriately dressed and heavily made up friends.

Saints preserve him! These under aged girls were trying to put him back him prison! This is what happened when he tried to be pleasant to strangers!

From the corner of his eye he observed another woman approaching him but this time he was on his guard.

'Hello handsome, do you want to get me a drink?' she inquired hopefully.

'You can get a juice in that tent,' he said calmly, pointing out the way. She was the right age but he wasn't interested however, this could be some important associate of Charles. He couldn't take the chance of atomically insulting her to get rid of her more quickly.

She pouted prettily and then sickeningly batted her eyelashes, 'I was hoping for something a little stronger.'

Her intent now clear, Erik appeared to be turning it over in his mind before fishing out his cell phone, 'I just need to check that with my parole officer my dear and then I would be happy to join you.'

He snorted evilly into his glass of cranberry juice as she disappeared in the proverbial puff of smoke. Rolling his shoulders to relieve some of his tiredness, he stepped away from the pole he was leaning against as Charles finally approached him across the field of dancers. Unfortunately, the professor had been immediately kidnapped by the couple's grateful parents after the conclusion of the ceremony and since then they kept missing each other on the floor.

His eyes narrowed in confusion as the young man abruptly came to a halt for no apparent reason and studied his surroundings with something akin to embarrassment. However, as Erik strode forward to close the gap, another woman unexpectedly blocked his path. Focused as he was in reaching Charles, Erik could still concede that she was quite remarkable; full figured and confident, eyes sparkling with intelligence and humor. At another time he would have been considered it a pleasure to talk to her

'Hello, I'm Raven. Come, let's dance.'

In some dismay, Erik could see some unknown wedding guest inching towards Xavier and almost acrobatically he grabbed her hand and then spun around to latch on to the professor's waist. The gentleman that was approaching to engage Charles, shuffled away hurriedly as Erik sent him a scorching white, hot glare.

'Can't they leave you alone for a second?' he complained bitterly to the young man plastered awkwardly to his side. 'Perhaps I should pin a sign on your back.'

Naturally, the professor ignored that ridiculous suggestion as he shook Raven's hand. 'Do you mind if I dance with him first? We haven't had a chance all night.'

The blonde beauty raised her hands in a gesture of sociable surrender, as her quick mind deciphered the situation she had wandered into.

'Would your other friend dance with me?' she asked doubtfully as Hank waved shyly at the trio that was now looking in his direction. He awkwardly shambled towards them as Charles beckoned and Erik looked on in relief as Raven happily led the doctor back to the floor despite his understandable hesitation. Erik suddenly realized the boy was a lot taller than he appeared when he wasn't hunched over as if trying to disappear into himself. It was good to see Hank smiling and enjoying himself.

In the meantime, the older man turned his attention back to his own partner who had plucked his juice glass from his hand and downed it thirstily. Solicitously nudging him towards a catering table to obtain a plate and another cold drink, Erik watched in some concern as Charles collapsed in a folding chair clutching the refreshments to his chest.

'Who knew that you were such a party animal?' Erik groused affectionately, trying to deflect his disappointment that he wasn't going to get the opportunity to dance with the young man. He sat in front of the professor to block him from public view while he leaned over to remove the Englishman's shoes.

Charles grunted quietly, but didn't comment as he concentrated on making serious damage to his plate of assorted pastries. With a grateful moan he leaned into Erik's fingers as they massaged his neck. 'I haven't forgotten that you owe me a back massage.'

'More than more one, if I remember correctly,' the older man acknowledged, stealing a cheese puff off the plate, 'Are you alright?'

The academic nodded. 'Give me a minute and we'll dance'

'Charles, you are tired,' he noted in a disapproving manner, 'we can….'

'I will never be too tired for you,' the young man interrupted him firmly. It was Erik's turn to feel oddly flattered and he smiled warmly as he tucked a wayward stand of hair behind Xavier's ear.

'You know Charles, if you hadn't slowed your pace, Raven would not have intercepted me before you did. Why did you do that?'

The professor tensed, not one bit fooled by the other man's casual tone of voice. He had hoped Erik would let it slide and with a sigh he braced himself for a lecture.

'Well I am glad she did,' Xavier responded evasively, pointing a half eaten tuna sandwich at a happy Hank on the floor.

Their eyes connected for a long moment and Charles could see that the other man would not be put off, 'Erik please. It was nothing… a momentary lapse in confidence. Just look at her! She's absolutely stunning.'

'And?'

Charles rolled his eyes at the other man's insistence in the matter. 'And I am not. You are such a prat! I can't believe you made me say that out loud!'

He pressed his lips together, annoyed that Erik had pushed him into that verbal admission. Charles knew he was being silly but sometimes it was hard to be even moderately self assured when your partner was so much more handsome than yourself. As he stared straight ahead, he began to wriggle around uncomfortably in his chair as he felt the older man studying the side of his face intently.

'Your features suit me,' Erik replied bluntly. 'You get some really strange ideas in your head sometimes. Eat your cake and stop talking such foolishness. Actually, maybe its best if you stopped speaking all together before you aggravate me even more.'

Charles cut his eyes to the other man's face but he couldn't see his expression as Erik was studying the floor. HE decided to let it go. He didn't think he had the energy to get into another disagreement with his friend in any case. In strained silence they sat by side, sharing the hors d'oeuvres off the plate until a new song started to play causing Charles to quickly stuff his feet back in his shoes before holding out a hand to Erik.

'I asked the sound technician for a waltz,' the young man exclaimed excitedly. 'I can teach you, it's easy…well no, not really but…'

'Of course I know how to waltz,' Erik snapped, still in a bit of a surly mood. 'I'm not a complete barbarian.'

The taller man allowed the professor to pull him to his feet by accepting his outstretched hand. He was forced to concede a small smile at the absurd, excited look on Charles' face as he turned to face him.

He wasn't smiling when they both stumbled and almost fell flat on their collective asses.


	33. Cold feet part3

**Anote**: I am not having such a great reader's response to this story anymore. It's too long, isn't it? It's just that I love hanging out with the boys in my own fantasy world. Anyhow not to worry. Once I get at least 20 people reading, I will continue and we are way over that figure at the moment.

Chapter 33-**Cold feet part3**

'Charles!' Erik hissed in an annoyed whisper, 'We can't both lead!'

They clumsily tried to rearrange hands before the academic protested. 'Hang on, wait, wait…why do you get to lead?'

'Well…isn't it obvious?' Erik snorted.

The angry, mutinous look on the professor's face indicated that this wasn't quite the right thing to say.

'No, it is not obvious to me! Explain it Erik!'

The older man stared defiantly at some nearby dancers who paused to look at them curiously, 'don't you have something better to do than eavesdrop?'

He then turned back to his own partner who was still glaring at him like if he would like nothing better than to give him a swift kick in places that will remain unnamed.

'It is obvious because I am taller and stronger,' Erik explained slowly, trying to keep the atmosphere calm and friendly, 'it will be easier for me to lead. You don't really disagree with that, do you?'

From the way Charles immediately opened his mouth, he was certain that the man most assuredly WAS going to disagree. He closed it without commenting and in the interim Erik wracked his brain trying to remember if it was Charles or Hank who was leading the previous dance. He hadn't really been looking at that aspect.

'No,' the small man finally responded in a deflated voice, rearranging their hands so that Erik could have the lead, 'you're right.'

'Are you sure?'

'Yes, but has it occurred to you that we are BOTH strong leaders and I don't mean as with regards just dancing? We should try and be mindful of that in the future.'

Erik felt severely chagrined. Charles didn't have to be mindful, it was HE who didn't think, he who always walked over everyone is his way.

'I should have asked instead of just assuming,' the older man answered, ashamed that after all the professor had done for him, he had so caustically steamrolled over Charles. 'I'll try and remember.'

A real smile graced the Englishman's face. He was quite pleased that the usually taciturn man was at least willing to meet him half way. 'To be honest, I would be happy to just relax in your arms and enjoy the music but please go slowly, I don't know the ladies part.'

Charles knew several versions of the waltz but he was sure that there were none that involved being plastered against your partner as if you were a stamp on envelope. He wasn't about to complain about his partner's technique though, because Erik's hard, muscular body was pure heaven to be pressed against. However, it put in mind other activities that involved being this close. He fought against these thoughts for awhile but then wondered why he was bothering. They were here together at a party under a beautiful evening sky. Now, right at this moment, life was stunningly perfect. Breathing in deeply he let himself relax and enjoy every delicious inch of the man in his arms. He leaned his head back and the other man obligingly loosed his hold so that he would be comfortable.

'Do you want to lead for awhile?' Erik offered generously, looking down into the man's upraised face. Secretly, he thought he would feel completely foolish to let the professor steer him around the floor but he would try. It was a bit unnerving the kind of things he was willing to do for the small man in his arms.

'No thank you,' the academic replied, serenely humming the tune under his breath.

Erik raised a confused eyebrow, 'and what is with this dreamy smile you are giving me?'

'Hmmm…nothing, nothing. Just thinking naughty thoughts.'

Erik missed a step and they almost faltered before he quickly righted their position. The professor exhaled quickly, as always a bit shocked that the other man could bear his entire weight so easily.

He smiled hopefully into Erik's scowling face, 'Do you want to hear some naughty thoughts?'

'No, I do NOT!' the older man retorted in an alarmed voice, 'If I didn't know better I would swear you had one too many. Lean forward so I can smell your breath.'

Charles sadly pouted at this unfriendly tone.

'You are not seriously pouting at me, are you?' the other man inquired incredulously, becoming increasingly fixated on Charles' mouth while still trying to concentrate on the dance, 'Behave yourself you shameless hussy. This is a dignified waltz we are doing.'

Erik stiffened in surprise as he felt the small man's hand trail down his back and fall below his waist to cradle his ass. What on earth!

'Now who's the repressed one?' Charles asked in a strangled whisper, as Erik yanked his hand away to replace it at his shoulder.

'Don't play games with me,' he responded automatically, giving him a little shake in his confusion. They were barely moving now and he waltzed them out of the circle of dancers to prevent a collision. The older man gazed down at his flushed face, starting to be affected by whatever bizarre mood had come over the professor. He could feel Charles' hand on his shoulder restlessly caressing and clutching the neck of his suit and of its own accord it would appear he was doing the same at the professor's waist.

'Erik, can we go somewhere?'

Somewhere in his brain, Erik was already thinking the same thing, as he pulled him out of the circle of lights and into the dark grounds before the professor had even finished his whispered question.

Deeper and deeper they walked, and his heart pounded as Charles willingly followed him away from the crowd.

'I'm glad you came out here with me,' the young man remarked, melting into his arms again once they stopped walking, 'because I just need to kiss you so badly.'

'Sure, not a problem,' Erik muttered as he pulled him up and into his arms before smashing their lips together.

Christ almighty he thought he was losing his mind as Charles's tongue pressed against his mouth, demanding immediate entrance. He let the professor take control of the requested kiss as he opened his mouth to allow him in. In the meanwhile, he just concentrated on forcing his lungs to breathe so he wouldn't collapse on top of the man. God, he loved the way the Englishman would moan into his mouth when he was particularly excited. It really was quite true that it was the quiet ones you had to look out for.

He had grown accustomed (perhaps addicted would be a better word) to kissing Charles everyday now and particular enjoyed making out with him on the lounge chairs by the pool in the summer evenings. It was a new experience for him to kick back every night and pull the young man across his lap; alternating between chatting about his day and then being slowly savoured and tasted with dedicated, single minded focus. However, whatever part of his brain that wasn't warped by the fact that the professor was currently trying to suck out his tonsils urged him to take control of this little exchange before…

'Charles?' he protested a little inarticulately, as the young man began pulling him down to the ground with surprising force.

The professor shushed him as he straddled his lap; slowly tracing the contours of his wet lips with one finger while firmly cradling the back of his head with the other hand. Need lanced through Erik's body with startling force as Charles' kisses now turned gentle; soothing and teasing his bruised lips. Even as his body told himself that he had been without a lover for too long, panic flooded his heart.

'Mine all mine,' the professor whispered unexpectedly and Erik slowly opened his eyes to look up at him; cloudy grey-green on sapphire blue. He felt his last brain cell sizzle into nothingness at the intensity of the other's gaze; his chest tightening as Charles branded him as his personal possession as effectively as if he had used steel and fire.

'Charles, don't...' he begged desperately, as the young man relentlessly pushed him on his back.

They both jumped as the professor's phone rang in his inner coat pocket.

Saved by the bell.

'WHAT does that mean? Saved by the bell?' Xavier yelled out in surprise. 'Don't you want me?'

Oops.

'Calm down, calm down, of course I want you,' he blurted out hastily, ducking to avoid the fist which Charles was attempting to use inorder to knock him into next week. He did not miss the look of relief in the man's expression and Erik inclined his head in question.

'It's just that you haven't seemed interested,' the young man explained haltingly, continuing to ignore the ringing phone, 'I wasn't sure.'

Erik grunted in exasperation before raising himself up on his elbows, 'you are such a worry wart. Of course I am interested; I just have a lot on my mind. Besides which you deserve a bed and candles and all that sort of stuff, not some mindless fuck in the cold grass.'

'It is not what I want for us,' he insisted, his voice hard and stern as he saw that Charles was about to protest. The little furrow on the brow told him that the academic's mind was busy marshalling new arguments to use against him.

'So after the candles and soft mattress etc etc, can we do the mindless fuck?

Erik gaped incredulously but then laughed softly as he pulled the man into a hug and rocked him to and fro, 'I swear that you and I have the weirdest conversations. Yes, we can do that.'

He rubbed his back as the young man hid his face in his neck. 'Are you alright?'

'Sorry I jumped you. I know this is new territory for you and you are still worried that you are going to hurt me. I can see it in your eyes. I don't know what came over me.'

Erik bowed his head and held him even closer, deeply moved at the level of Charles' patience and understanding into his physique. The small man knew his fears and ordinarily, knowing that someone was aware of his weaknesses would have scared him shitless but he felt no threat from the young man in his arms. 'I told you already that you don't EVER have to apologise for kissing and touching me. I think weddings make people act a bit …um…out of character. We're good.'

Deep down, Erik wished that he could give the small man more. He deserved more. 'You still like me, right?'

'Of course. You are such a worry wart!' Charles snorted, comically echoing Erik's earlier words as if he never had similar doubts. He more than liked but from experience he had learnt to keep such mushy sentiments to himself as they made Erik moody and difficult for days on end.

The phone rang again and this time the professor answered his insistent caller.

Erik wasn't really paying attention as he rolled them to their feet and tried to remove whatever blades of grass he could see on their clothes. Giving it up as a futile job in the poor light, he dusted the professor's knees with his handkerchief and removed his own jacket to conceal whatever grass stains there were. He was too warm in any case, as Charles' astonishing little 'I-am-Tarzan-you-are-Jane' routine had left him properly hot and bothered.

'You're here?' the professor suddenly exclaimed into the phone. 'Now?'

Charles grabbed his wrist and they began walking back towards the guests, 'No, it's not a party, it's a wedding.' Erik had to lengthen his stride to keep up with the professor's eager trot.

'No, it's not MY wedding,' he replied laughingly. 'I think you know me better than that. Just stay where you are, I'm coming.'

The older man winced and shaded his eyes as they burst into the bright lights of the reception. He then helpfully began scanning the crowd looking for Charles' acquaintance and with his additional inches he quickly locked eyes with a man with his ear pressed to a cell phone, who also seemed to be searching through the guests. Erik tapped Xavier on his shoulder and then gestured to the stranger.

'Hey,' Charles quietly said into his phone, staring intently at the newcomer. Erik glanced at his face and then looked again at the strange expression in his eyes. It was clear that the professor was a bit 'distracted'. Erik regarded the man across the field curiously. Dressed in casual clothing, he was almost as tall as himself, but while he was dark, this man was fair. He patiently waited for the professor to say something or at least remember that he was standing at his side and after a few seconds he raised his eyebrows in surprise as the two men continued to silently stare at each other. Charles jumped as Erik lightly bumped his shoulder with his own.

'He's come a long way to see me,' the professor added him with such a guilty look in his face that Erik had to shake his head. The small man was transparent as glass.

'Who's that?'

'Does it matter!' the academic snapped out defensively.

Charles hastily grabbed his hand as Erik made to walk off. 'He's an old friend.'

With a derisive noise, he peeled the small hand off his arm, 'I can see that he is an old friend, but you are also omitting something; something that you know I will disapprove of if I knew. I am not a fool, Xavier. Please do not treat me as such.'

Immediately the small man looked away, choosing not to respond to that potentially flammable comment. If their positions were reversed, he would be having a world class hissy fit right now instead of this calm discussion that the older man was carrying all on his own.

'Charles you are a sensible man. Just stay in the light and keep your cell phone on you,' the larger man instructed, giving him a push in the direction he knew the academic wanted to go in, 'call me if you need help.'

He looked back and was reassured when Erik stroked his hair and smiled down at him. He was beyond flattered and surprised that at the moment of testing, the normally suspicious man had chosen to accept his word even though he behaving so incredibly shifty. 'Thank you for trusting me. I know I am acting weird, I just didn't expect him tonight. I will be back soon. Don't let anyone take my spot.'

'I won't,' the older man replied, as he veered off in another direction. 'And quit worrying. You can tell me all about it later. You still owe me a dance and just so that you know, you are the only person I trust'

Charles was about to walk away when Erik had said the latter part in such a throw away voice that it had not immediately registered in his mind. He whipped around in surprise but his partner had already been swallowed up by the teeming crowd of semi-tipsy wedding guests.

Erik groaned as he watched Logan relentlessly pull Jean across the floor towards his little corner. He had barely been seated for five minutes; did the man have eyes in the back of his head?

Wearily he folded his arms across his chest and stared straight ahead as the handyman loomed over him like an angry bear. He wished the man would just go away and let him return to his exceedingly, detailed fantasy in which the professor's cell phone had NOT rung. In hindsight, Erik was regretting his decision now because it dawned on him that it would have been a mind blowing thrill to be seduced against his will by the small man. Everyone deserved to walk on the dark side at least once in their life and he had no doubt that he would have enjoyed every minute of that journey with one supposedly timid, professor of biology.

'Logan, you can't get this way every time Xavier talks to someone. He's a grown man!' Erik protested in annoyance. 'And I really resent the fact that you don't think I am taking care of him properly.'

Resent was a mild word.

Logan waved his hands around, inarticulate in his fury while the tall red head peered curiously at the stranger who was unaware that he was inciting all this commotion.

'You weren't here!' he growled, 'you didn't have to watch the professor cry so hard that he couldn't stand up. How could you let Xavier go off with HIM?'

Erik scowled at this new information just as Jean suddenly interjected, 'Isn't that Charles' ex-boyfriend?'


	34. Cold feet part4

This chapter might make more sense if you reread Chapter 17 or 24 in which Charles' ex- (my own creation) makes an off-story appearance.

Chapter 34- **Cold feet part4**

Charles was a man torn.

He desperately wanted a few more minutes to sift through the advice he had just received but on the other hand, he felt that time was running out if he wanted to head off a pissed Erik from barreling up the path and doing something unspeakably nasty to David. By now, someone must have told him who his surprise visitor was as unfortunately, David was infamously known to most of the mansion staff. The professor massaged the bridge of his nose as he worried about what his friend was thinking. Despite the older man's seemingly calm outlook on life in the last couple of weeks, Erik's default emotion was still anger.

The decision was taken out of his hands as he flipped over his cell to check the caller id when his phone rang. Panic welled up in him like a fever. Oh god…what should he say?

'Erik?' he finally managed to choke out in a scratchy voice.

'Your voice sounds strange,' the other man remarked, 'Do you need me? Did David say something to upset you?'

Glory hallelujah! Erik knew who his visitor was and he didn't sound like he was ready to break anyone in half. Stranger things have happened, dear readers.

'I am fine,' the professor responded simply, too bemused by Erik's mellow attitude to say anything more profound, 'Thank you so much for checking on me.'

'Of course. I'm calling because you NEED to talk to Logan when you get a chance. He's not pleased.'

Charles shook his head, not really surprised at that information but at the moment he had more pressing assumptions to clarify.

'And you Erik? Do you feel the same?'

The silence that followed caused the professor to grip his phone so hard that he heard the casing begin to crack.

'Am I upset? No, but that's only because I know David is here at your invitation,' Erik finally responded, 'but I assure you that I CAN be and WILL be as rude as Satan if you leave the property with him tonight or any other night!'

Even though he had just been crying only a few moments before, Charles had to smile at that statement. There was the Erik he knew and loved!

'Hand your phone to Logan for a second, let me talk to him.'

'We're not together. He's pacing the main corridor in the house mumbling to himself. I advise you to hurry up with your visit before he drops out of the sky like Batman on your position. I left Jean trying to talk some sense into him.'

'You're not at the reception anymore?'

'I left. Between John's irritability and McCoy refusing to dance with me, I am feeling a bit out of sorts now. I am walking towards the practice range.'

The Englishman gasped in surprise as he straightened from his comfortable slouch, 'you asked HANK to dance? Oh…buckets! What happened?'

'He just left me standing there with my hand out. I was mortified.'

He laughed at the man's peeved tone of voice, which he quickly disguised by pretending to cough, 'Don't read too much into that. Hank made and unmade his mind about dancing with me at least fifteen times during today. But thanks for asking him, he needs support.'

'Well, you know…if I can help…you'll let me know.'

Charles grinned happily as the man's voice faded off into an indecipherable mumble before he abruptly closed the call, as if ashamed that he had offered.

'Is that him?' David asked quietly, interrupting the professor's thoughts. 'Is he coming here? Maybe I should leave.' His ex-boyfriend nervously scanned the silent bushes as if expecting a wild animal attack.

'No he's not, but we are going to meet him.' The professor rose to his feet and the man reluctantly followed his lead. Charles couldn't explain it but just hearing Erik's voice had made him feel stronger and calmer.

'Thank you for coming,' the academic added, handing the man back his damp handkerchief with thanks.

'To be perfectly honest, I was quite surprised to get your message,' he confessed.

'Why?' Charles asked absently, 'You've always been a good friend to me and I really needed advice from someone who knows me. You know me better than I know myself.'

David felt his insides shrivel up at his words, wondering if a person could apologise too much for being an ass.

'You can call me anytime you want,' he muttered unsurely, glancing at the man's tear stained face, 'I am sorry that I couldn't tell you what you wanted to hear. You sound like you really like him.'

'I do,' Charles admitted quietly, wiping at his eyes again with the back of his hand, 'I really do. He's smart and he makes me laugh and he likes chess. He loves books too. He comes across a little brooding but deep down he's really nice. Although if you tell him that he would spend half an hour looming over you to try and scare you into thinking he's not.'

'He only looms because he's so tall. What is it with you and tall men?' David added, with a wink down at the man at his side. It was nice to know that HE too could still make Charles smile.

'Perhaps in light of this new information, you would like to amend your advice?'

The visitor reached over and tentatively patted the man's shoulder. 'Charles you always do this. You pick up some fascinating 'specimen' and are immediately smitten with them, and then when it comes down to the boring, everyday, 'how is this relationship actually going to work details', everything falls apart. And it isn't even your friend's fault, it's yours. At least this one, Erik you said, is upfront and has the decency to tell you that he is leaving; that he is not into anything long term.'

David knew he sounded harsh but this is what Charles had called him here for. He hadn't been such a good friend to the man in the past, despite the young man's kind words, but he could be one now. With a quiet sigh, he pushed his sodden handkerchief back into the professor's hand.

'You're not the first person or the last person, for whatever reason, to be terrified of committing to a relationship but if you are going make that leap,' the man added, glancing across into the professor's distressed face, 'do it with someone who is at least willing to take the leap with you.'

By this time they had reached the top of a small hill which then gently sloped towards the secluded target practice area in the distance. Charles stopped and stared longingly at Erik's figure, distinctly visibly against the blue black night in his crisp white shirt. Notwithstanding the occasional nightmare, the older man seemed happy here at his house. Would he still want to leave at the end of his parole? And would it even matter if he stayed?

David's words felt like a death knell echoing in his heart.

Erik had never shown the least amount of interest in anything but being his close friend. Now that he thought about it, it made perfect sense that they got along so well on a day to day basis; Erik didn't want to be tied down and Charles was petrified of becoming too attached to anyone, especially someone who he suspected was mentally strong enough to walk out his life and not even look back.

With a hopeless sigh, he was about to stroll down when David put a restraining hand on his shoulder. 'Stay here with me for awhile, you look awful. I am not delivering you to him like this, not until you calm down a bit. My nose STILL hurts just before a storm.'

Charles looked sympathetically at the slightly off centered appendage, 'he's not going to assault you if that is what you are thinking.'

'I am not reassured,' the other man snapped as he stared down to observe Charles' new paramour closely, 'What the heck is he doing?'

The Englishman looked and then shrugged, 'He thinks guns are an unreliable and unsophisticated means of defense.'

Alrighty then. He would be saying his goodbyes to the professor right here on this nice, safe hill, far away from Erik's reach. He hoped that he had been of some help to the small man.

'Have you decided what you are going to do?' he murmured compassionately, not insensible to the fact that the Englishman was severely grieved by the situation that he had found himself in.

There was no response from the man at his side.

'From the way that you haven't argued with my point of view, I am going to go out on a limb and say that everything I have said tonight, you have already worked out for yourself,' his visitor suggested.

The professor abruptly stopped his nervous pulling of his tie.

'And you already know what you are going to do.'

'I don't know,' the small man confessed in a quiet whisper, 'not yet.'

It was the truth. He didn't know what he was going to do. He didn't know if it would be better to just rip off the proverbial bandage in one go and ask the older man to leave or if to allow the slow passage of time to torture him until the day Erik packed a bag and walked away to pursue the life that had been interrupted by his incarceration. Both options held no real appeal; a choice between the devil and the deep blue sea.

In the meantime, he returned the comforting embrace that David offered him, stiffening in surprise when the taller man kissed him before walking away.

Lord love a duck! He hoped Erik hadn't seen that. As if he didn't have enough to worry about!

With a heavy heart he approached the practice clearing, calling out his presence to the older man who immediately put his weapon to one side.

'What happened? I would have liked to meet him,' Erik commented, gesturing towards the figure that was retreating in the distance.

The corner of his mouth hitched slightly as Charles smiled, 'I think your knife throwing put him off.'

'I don't know why it should, considering that you have EVERY trophy, ribbon, medal and certificate ever offered for the sport of archery.'

The Englishman groaned at this bit of exaggeration. He didn't realize that Erik had seen his awards. How embarrassing! 'Well in this part of the world, archery is thought to be eccentric but being able to manipulate a knife the way you do my friend, is considered to be downright scary.'

He remained still as the older man put one hand under his chin to better tilt his face towards the light.

'He hurt you. Why didn't you call me?' Erik hissed angrily, his hand bunching in a tight fist at his side. The professor's eyes were red and puffy. Logan was right! Damn David to hell!

Erik started as Charles pulled away from his touch unexpectedly. Maybe in his anger he had been holding him too hard.

'He didn't hurt me,' the young man murmured, 'we were … we were discussing something distressing.'

He waited patiently for the man to continue but all Charles seemed interested in was fingering his borrowed collection of knives, laid out on a convenient bundle of hay.

'Is someone dead?' he inquired of the bent head under his nose.

'It feels like it,' the young man remarked quietly, 'I don't want to talk about this right now. I could really use a drink.'

Erik scowled as the man turned to walk away and he immediately whipped out a hand to stop him. 'That's nice but you don't get the 'let's talk about it later maybe never' option. We had a deal.'

Charles bounced off his chest as he pulled him closer.

'Look I said no, alright? Not NOW!'

'I don't give a damn what you want and you are not drinking anything, not on my watch! Why have you been crying?' Erik insisted worriedly, gripping the man's forearm tightly as the professor struggled to get away from him. 'Stop that! You are going to hurt yourself.'

The older man staggered as Charles unexpectedly struck him so hard across the face that he saw stars.

'Why can't you take no for an answer, YOU STUPID FUCK?' the small man screamed at him as he darted away. Charles felt as though his heart was beating a million miles a minute and he panted uncomfortably as adrenaline surged through his body like a jolt of high voltage.

Shit.

There was going to be hell to pay for that.

He sneaked a quick glance behind his shoulder and was dismayed that Erik was following him; his long stride easily keeping pace with his jog.

Better to go on the offensive. 'I don't want to talk about it!'

Erik's eyes glittered like hard, diamonds. 'So I've heard.'

'Then leave me alone!' the young man yelled out over his shoulder. He felt so out of control and Erik's calm manner was not helping. He had NO business being this calm when he was so upset!

'Sorry. Can't do that,' the large man replied, 'you are behaving far too irrationally for me to let you go off on your own.'

Charles felt like screaming again. Erik knew he hated when he used his physical strength over him and if he thought he was going to apologise then he would be waiting for a VERY long time. Erik deserved that slap and indeed if he came closer, the professor would be happy to demonstrate the technique again. He was not sorry! Not one bit!

But Erik wasn't getting any closer even though the small man knew that he could. He came up abruptly as a stitch in his side stopped him in dead in his tracks. Trying to catch his breath, he doubled over gripping his side tightly. The pain was severe enough to clear his head and together with the deep breaths he had been forced to take, the professor soon felt like the master of his emotions once again.

Oh god… Erik was going to crucify him. He had hit him, cursed him and broken the promise that the older man had taken as a given; so much for being the only person that Erik trusted. And just imagine… he did it all in the space of ten minutes. Charles absently speculated on what he could manage given an entire hour.

Tentatively the tall man walked forward until they were standing side by side. Charles winced as he observed his handprint on the man's jaw and with a pang of distress he suddenly remembered them dancing not too long ago. The, we-will-laugh-at-this-someday-memory of them tripping over each other's feet in the waltz seemed to have happened a life time ago.

'We don't have to talk about anything, if you would rather not.' Erik remarked quietly, 'I just want to be with you.'

Wonderingly, he folded his arms around the professor as the man suddenly embraced him around his middle, squeezing him so tightly that it seemed unlikely that he would ever let him go.

'It's okay,' Erik said soothingly, stroking his back and the top of his smooth hair. 'Everything is going to be fine. How about we go veg out in front the television? They may have one your X-files reruns on. That would be nice, wouldn't it?'

He strained his ear to hear the man's muffled voice, 'I'm not watching my show with you. I can't hear anything over your sneering laughter. You hate it.'

The larger man didn't care if Charles chose this moment to discuss the elements in the periodic table. All he cared about was that the man was here at his side, where he could protect him from this, as yet to be named harm or danger.

'I don't hate the show. I admire the main character's determination very much. I just don't understand why every question has to be answered with aliens.'

The professor looked up and indeed Erik thought he would never be so happy to see a pair of brilliant blue eyes watching him.

'David was giving me some relationship advice. He said some stuff that I didn't want to hear.'

Erik wasn't sure that he wanted to hear it either but a part of him was relieved that that was what all of this fuss was about. He was beginning to imagine all sorts of horrible scenarios.

'Let me guess, he thinks you are setting yourself up for a bit of a fall,' the older man suggested, giving him a companionable squeeze.

Charles produced a watery smile as way of an answer, immediately placing a silencing kiss on Erik's lips as the older man opened his mouth to respond.

'Don't think I don't know what you are doing,' Erik remarked leaning back to free himself, 'You are trying to distract me with your superior kissing skills.'

The professor choked and immediately turned red at this compliment disguised as a complaint.

'I would never!' he replied in the same teasing tone. Regrettably, Erik's face turn somber again and it was clear he had a few comments of his own to add to the situation. 'I am tired dearest; can I take you up on your offer to watch some television now?'

Erik searched the pale face below him where tell tale marks of strain and exhaustion were clearly imprinted. From experience, he knew this was the very best time to press an advantage with a stubborn personality. He glanced at his watch instead. 'Yes, let's go in quickly. I don't want to miss Scully giving her partner a piece of her mind; that's the best part in the whole programme. Who would have thought? I seem to be rather fond of good looking, sharp tongued scientists of limited stature.'

**Anote:** X-files was an American science fiction TV series in the nineties. It chronicled the adventures of FBI agent Mulder in his relentless pursuit to prove the existence of paranormal phenomenon most especially aliens. Joining him in his investigations was the brilliant scientist, Agent Scully who was instrumental in ensuring that her partner's work was always supported by evidence and making sure Mulder didn't get himself killed in some stupid fashion. Their difference in height is similar to that of Charles and Erik and it is what caught my eye. In addition Mulder was as relentless as Erik in his mission. Or maybe I just have our lovely boys on the brain. I need help, lol!


	35. Facing reality part1

**Anote:** This chapter was a hassle to write but in the end i loved how it turned out. I wanted to do something subtle for our favourite couple instead of an "in your face" shouting match. Love can be such a drama. Is it not grand? :)

Chapter 35 –**Facing reality Part 1**

After the overwhelming revelations of the morning, the professor was madly scribbling and correcting his papers at a lightening pace, trying to make up for the time that he had lost staring blankly at the wall. He was glad for the last minute work. It kept him from thinking and worrying about little things; like why was his life such total crap!

A light tap on the door of his university office twitched irritability in his mind, breaking the peace that he achieved. 'Professor, you have a student outside to see you.'

'Mildred, can you take a message or ask him or her to come back during office hours? I am so behind here.'

Even though the only sounds one could hear was the scratching of his pen against paper and the low hum of the internal ventilation system, his sixth sense told him that he wasn't alone. He looked up in surprise as the usually unflappable administrative assistant hung over the door, staring at him pleadingly.

'Sir please, I think you must come out. I have a feeling we may have to call security if I say that to him.'

Immediately Xavier dropped his pen and rose to his feet, 'of course.'

He took her arm with the intention of gentlemanly escorting her back to the reception desk. There had been some talk of installing a protective glass and a buzzer system to wall off the area from students but as yet it was just an idea. It wasn't something that the professor was in favor of but it seemed like only a matter of time before the faculty office would begin to resemble a bank or worse, a prison.

'Is he married?' Mildred asked excitedly as they made their way to front. The professor frowned at that inapproriate question until he looked across the waiting room. He never realized it before but Erik looked neither left nor right when he walked through a crowd as much as people hurriedly jumped out of his way. Charles commanded his rampaging hormones to be silent as the other man placed his hands on the battle scared wooden counter between them, 'I got here as soon as I could.'

The two men stared vacantly at each other each for a long moment.

'You sent me a text message,' Erik reminded him in exasperation. 'You said we need to talk.'

'That was slang Erik,' the professor groaned. 'I don't understand how you can curse like you were born here and not understand something like that!'

Automatically, the larger man glanced at the message again as if expecting that a different interpretation would jump out at him.

'What I meant was, when I saw you THIS evening, I had to tell you something,' Charles explained, 'I am sorry that you came all this way. Blimey…you are using your lunch break, aren't you?'

'Don't apologise. You are more important than that job,' he said in his usual matter-of-fact manner. 'You can tell me now whatever you were going to say later.'

As per the norm, just being in Erik's presence was enough to shift his entire mood and he felt his sprits lift. How incredibly sweet! Erik thought he was in some kind of trouble and had madly dashed across the city like a knight out of a fairytale. With a wave of his hand, he relocated them to the far end of the counter where they could have some privacy.

'Thanks. I don't even know how to say this,' Charles muttered, casting his mind back to the events of the morning in the break room. 'I was so surprised I just didn't know WHAT to think! I must be the most obtuse man on the planet. How could I NOT see this coming?'

The older man nodded his head sympathetically. He wasn't surprised that Charles was this upset as he knew the professor prided himself on having a good understanding of the people and their movements through his life.

'Let me have it,' he suggested as Xavier jiggled nervously from one leg to the next.

His eyes narrowed at this display of anxiety.

'I have a date tonight,' the small man blurted out, sounding more than shocked at the information than he should be, 'I think I said yes. I don't even remember.'

A sudden panic clawed in Erik's chest. On the night of the wedding, he had seen David lean over to kiss Charles but hadn't commented further; trusting in the professor's good sense to keep his heart from harm from that particular quarter. Had he been wrong to keep silent? Well that could be easily rectified. Erik reached over and gripped his forearm, 'If you say it's with David I am going to beat you senseless, right now!'

'David? No. Why would you say that?' he replied distractedly, 'No, it's with Hank!'

The professor clapped his hands over his eyes. 'Oh lord, I think I am going around the twist. Why did I agree to this? Why?'

Over on his side of the counter, the older man looked like if he had been hit in the face with a frying pan.

'You see that face you are making at me now Erik? That was me exactly, about two hours ago!' he yelped, becoming increasingly agitated as no helpful advice appeared to be materializing.

Erik gave himself a little shake to break out of his shocked stupor, 'Sorry. I was just surprised. I didn't know you liked Hank? When did that happen?'

'It didn't! He's a good friend and my best mate here at the university!' the academic spluttered out, 'He caught me completely off guard with this!'

Erik shrugged. 'I am still not seeing the problem here. It's a date Xavier, not a marriage proposal.'

Now it was Charles' turn to be once again paralysed by surprise. In the space of a few seconds his brain had already worked out several permutations of what Erik had unknowingly revealed in his last couple of words.

'So you think I should go?'

'I can't see why not. You could do worse. McCoy is a good guy, steady and reliable and…' his voice trailed off as the man infront of him turned pale. It was suddenly obvious to him that the two of them were no longer on the same page. 'Charles?'

Erik massaged the back of his neck to relieve a peculiar tightness in his muscles as he waited for the man infront of him to speak.

'I was going to call him back and tell him no,' Xavier said quietly, 'Would you really be alright with this, Erik?'

To be honest, Erik wasn't sure how he felt but he didn't wasn't to be putting false hope into Charles' head by saying that aloud.

'If you don't want to go with him, then don't,' he advised instead, reaching over to trail one finger down his friend's cold cheek. 'But don't let me be the reason.'

Erik could see indecision and doubt in the man's eyes and was quite touched at the concern he saw on the man's features. He didn't really expect Charles to put his entire life on hold because he was living with him but the Englishman seemed to be willing and prepared to do just that.

'Is it a movie or a concert or something?' he inquired. Knowing the two of them as well as he did, it was probably some mind numbingly dull lecture in Biochemistry, guaranteed to put you in a coma within thirty seconds.

'Shakespeare in the park and then dinner,' Charles answered, his voice so soft that the tall man had to lean forward to catch it.

Shakespeare! Hank was pulling out all the stops and overnight it would appear that he had grown an actual spine. Erik was suitably impressed.

He leaned over for a slip of scrap paper from the basket and scribbled some instructions. 'Here, go straight to the barber this evening and give him this. I will take a cab home and help you with something to wear.'

The older man pocketed the pen and grabbed his neck again. Christ! Where did this pain suddenly come from? 'You don't want to be one of those people who always complain about being single but never do anything about it, do you?'

As Charles picked up the paper and stared down at it as if it was written in Greek, Erik sneaked a quick peek at his watch. He could catch the shuttle back into town if he left right now.

'I could never give you up so easily to another man,' the Englishman said calmly, his voice steady and sure.

The larger man kept his eyes fixed on his watch. He would not allow Charles to bait him into this useless argument again. 'I know you wouldn't.'

He could feel Charles looking at him, staring with his unusual blue eyes, skewing him right in the gut as he struggled to maintain his composure. For the most part Erik felt as though he was in control of the direction of their friendship but there were moments like now, when he really questioned if the professor hadn't been humoring him all along. Erik was usually much better than this at convincing others to see his point of view, using his charisma and presence to smother any opposition but Xavier was as stubborn as they came. However as Charles had smugly put it to him one afternoon, he wasn't stubborn; it was because Erik's heart was not really into winning this particular argument. Well that just showed how little the professor really understood him!

'ERIK!' the Englishman yelled out in concern as the older man nastily clipped his shoulder on a concrete pillar, when he turned around to leave.

'I am fine,' he insisted, cradling his stinging arm while the other man gawked at his uncharacteristic clumsiness, 'I didn't see that post there. I will see you later, alright?'

'Hang on; let me give you a lift back into town.'

He was surprised when Erik hastily held out his hand to stop him before walking away.

For the rest of the day the older man's manner and final gesture stayed in Charles' thoughts, even as he stared at his reflection in the mirror, fixing his tie for his evening out with Henry. Was that how it was going to happen in the end? Was Erik just going to put up his hand and then walk away? Was he going to LET Erik walk away? How could he stop him? The professor pressed the heels of his hands against his face and rubbed at his eyes as if the act could erase the image of Erik leaving from off his eyeballs.

'Come in,' he called as a gentle knock came from the door.

He returned Jean's smile a little feebly as she started in surprise.

'Charles you look…!'

Words failed her and she settled for waving her hands around.

'Thanks. All Erik's handiwork, I assure you. I would just walk out the house without even brushing my hair if it was left up to me.'

By this time she had reached his side and placed a comforting arm around his shoulders. The compassion and worry in her eyes almost pushed him over the edge and he realized now how fragile this whole situation had made him. It was clear from the way Erik couldn't look him in the face for the entire evening, that he was beginning to have a change of heart and didn't want him to go. However, Charles felt there no point in staying home if the other man couldn't bring himself to say the words out loud. Besides which, he was beyond tired of trying to be patient with Erik and his moods. While he couldn't say for sure if Erik's big, bad secret was what was keeping them apart, at this point he didn't see what else they had to lose! Short of him murdering anyone, Charles felt reasonable certain he could handle anything the other man had to throw at him but the way the older man continued to treat him like an immature teenager was infuriating! It would be a relief to just get out of each other's head space for a bit.

'I've come to collect Erik for the night' she said quietly. When Logan had called to let her know that he had given the staff the night off because the professor was going on a date and that he and Erik were wondering if she would please-please cook them dinner, she really thought her on-again-off-again boyfriend was hallucinating.

The professor pointed towards his walk in closet. 'He has a headache, so he is not talking much tonight.'

Too bad, because Jean had every intention of giving him a piece of her mind! What the hell was going on here? First the mysterious appearance of Charles' ex- the other night and now this!

'Charles,' she whispered. 'I don't understand. Did you and Erik have a fight? This isn't the way to solve anything.'

He pressed a kiss to her cheek as he grabbed his coat that was hanging off the back of a chair. 'Better to ask him. Most times I know how his mind works but tonight, it's anyone's guess.'

There was a cold, desperate edge to her friend's voice that she didn't like and she stared worriedly at the doorway that he had vanished though.

Finally she wandered over to the closet area where she squatted on the floor to be eyelevel with Erik who was on his knees. The man was busy refolding the professor's clothes from the pile dumped on the ground and she silently observed as he expertly folded the garments, absently speculating if he had ever been employed in a store.

'It's a good thing the professor has a photographic memory or else he would never find anything in this heap!' the older man complained genially. He was keeping his features carefully neutral. He had heard Charles' words and he had no doubt that he was the 'him' being refered to.

'He's gone,' she announced. If she hadn't been looking for it she would have missed the fumble in his actions and the slight tremor in his slender fingers.

'Strange that he didn't say goodbye,' he murmured with a small shrug as he rose to his feet with his completed stack of sweaters.

As he piled them in the correct space he could feel her cold, judgmental stare on the back of his neck.

'WHAT?' he snapped out spinning around to face her, 'just say whatever you have to say!'

'I just want to know what is going on,' she replied quietly.

'What is going on?' he repeated sneeringly, loudly slamming the drawer shut, 'What is going on is that I am trying to do the right thing by Charles and everyone is giving me grief! You don't know me Jean. You don't know what I am like really. McCoy…'

She patted him sympathetically on the arm as he choked on the name.

And in a much quieter voice he finally added, 'I have been thinking about it all day and Hank or someone like Hank would be a better long term fit for Charles. Trust me. I can't stand in his way and not at least let Xavier see this for himself.'

Erik was a new friend and although Jean didn't know him as well as she knew Logan or Charles for that matter, she knew that only a man who cared deeply could make such a hard decision.

'Did you discuss this with Charles?'

'We haven't really talked much this evening,' he mumbled in a hollow sort of voice.

Jean really didn't know what else to say as the tall man slumped against a cupboard door like a modern day Atlas carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. It was easy to be shooting of advice when you yourself were not living in the midst of all the pain and doubt. As it was, she almost collapsed under his weight when he unexpectedly turned and folded her into his arms in his blind distress.

'I think your heart is in the right place,' she cautiously commented as she patted his back, 'but in the future I fear you are going to reflect on your conduct tonight and realize it was a mistake.'


	36. Facing reality part2

Chapter 36-** Facing reality part2**

Erik wasn't asleep; it was more of a withdrawal from reality by closing your eyes and remaining still. In this state his mind drifted, hopping from one thought to the next, dancing around a nexus which if he was indeed focusing would resemble a Charles shaped shadow. Erik heard the door of the bedroom open and the soft footsteps across the wooden floors of the professor's apartment but his consciousness hovered so close to sleep that the sounds and what it meant had not registered fully. He continued to drift, secure in his surroundings because his unconscious mind had recognized the man who had entered. He was in no danger. However, the sharp gasp of panic that hit his eardrums was too strong for him to remain in his languid state. His eyes popped open to regard the professor in the doorway, who was clearly terrified at finding him lying in his bathtub.

'What?' he inquired grumpily, as the Englishman promptly grabbed a nearby seat on the lid of his toilet, clutching at his heart after his fright. Erik was so well acquainted with Charles' facial expressions that he had already deduced what the young man had been thinking. His face twisted in an expression of scorn.

'You don't really think I would, with deliberate premeditation, climb into your tub just so that I could slit my wrist or do something equally foolish?' he mocked him mercilessly. 'I like you a lot but that would be going too far. Suicide is for cowards.'

It was all well and good for Erik to sneer. He hadn't see it from his point of view; the way the older man's head was tilted at a strange angle, the paleness of his skin intensified by the white marble of the tub, the harshness of the overhead lights picking out the delicate blue veins in the man's neck. Only now that he was closer, did Charles realize that Erik was fully dressed and that the bathtub was empty.

'I like your gloves,' the young man remarked weakly, unable to think of anything more suitable.

Erik removed the bright pink protective devices off his hands. 'It was all that I could find. Watch your step, I just polished the floor.'

The professor kicked off his shoes and carefully walked forward until he was able to grasp the other man's outstretched hands. Using Erik's weight as a counterbalance, he stepped into the tub and lowered himself down to a sitting position. Not exactly the most comfortable position for two men but since they were friendlier than most, there was no reaction when Erik placed the professor's sock clad feet on his chest and absently began massaging them.

'Why are you here? I wasn't expecting you for hours,' the older man remarked curiously.

Ashley the cat, leapt unto the edge of the bathtub, needing no assistance in balancing on the one inch of ledge that was available to her.

'I could ask you the same. Aren't you supposed to be at Jean's?' Charles leaned his head back to study the ceiling, closing his eyes for a few moments just to savor the silence and the fact that he was home. 'I'm glad you are here.'

His words had come out spontaneously. Despite the emotional roller coaster ride he had been on today, it was a relief that in the one remaining hour left in the day, that he was home and that Erik was with him.

'I'm glad you're here too,' Erik added quietly. The young man opened his eyes and looked at him. 'You have…if I have never told you this before Charles, you have a sweet smile.'

'I know,' the professor replied with an impudent wink in his direction, enjoying one of the rare smiles that he was able to draw out of Erik in return.

Charles gestured at the gleaming appliances in his bathroom, 'It's never looked cleaner. Is this what you have been occupying your time with tonight?'

'I would rather hear about your evening.'

The Englishman sighed and resumed staring at the ceiling again, 'The Shakespeare was excellent; Midsummer's night dream. The actor who portrayed Puck stole the entire show. The dinner…it wasn't so good Erik. Hank is a bit eager or is anxious the better word?

The other man stiffened like a hunting dog suddenly scenting its prey.

'You're kidding!' Erik yelled out incredulously, 'do you mean I have to find McCoy in the morning and rearrange his face?'

'No, nothing like that,' the professor reassured him with a casual wave of his hand, 'his dinner conversation just left a lot to be desired.'

Henry hadn't fallen into the obvious trap of selecting a pretension restaurant for dinner however, his subsequent conversation which more likened to that of a Spanish inquisition seriously rankled on Charles' nerves. The professor had tried to nudge Hank into a more suitable discourse that would favor his romantic suit, but to no avail. Finally the Englishman snapped, declaring if he wanted to know so much about Erik perhaps he should have invited him to dinner too! Charles could understand that Henry was curious about what was going on between them but they could have had that discussion at any old time around the water cooler in the office!

Realizing he had made a mistake, the young doctor timidly restricted his later remarks to the weather and the food, which naturally did little to resuscitate their date. Charles did not even bother to try and help him out of his quandary, but absently nodded at what he hoped was strategic points in Hank's dialogue. Instead of helping him forget Erik for the night, his university colleague had just made him miss him even more. He was also desperately worried about the way he had just walked off and hadn't even said goodbye to Erik. It was such an awful thing to have done to the other man!

'Dearest, I think this outing was a mistake,' Charles commented with a heartfelt sigh as he jiggled his left foot. Erik obligingly restarted his massage.

'Yes, I think so too' the larger man replied.

Both the professor's eyebrows sprung up in surprise. This was different.

'And what brought on this change of heart?' he inquired cautiously.

Erik shifted around looking a little sheepish and unsure. 'Raven came by this evening looking for company to go see a movie. I think its then I realized how sort of…weird it was …even considering going out with someone else that wasn't you. And if I, heartless bastard that I am, could feel like that, I could just imagine what you were going through. I should have listened more to what you were trying to say.'

Charles pressed his lips together in annoyance. He had been talking himself hoarse for weeks about this and just one visit from one of the neighbors had been sufficient to bring Erik around. WHY was this his life?

'I needed to get away for a bit in any case. Sometimes speaking to you is like talking to a block of wood but you are not a heartless bastard!' Charles protested vigorously, 'far from it. I've never met anyone who is trying so hard to make sure I was happy. Even this whole Hank fiasco I know, was some misconstrued attempt at that.'

Erik inched forward uncertainly, wanting to be closer but doubtful of his welcome. Although the professor's tone was conciliatory, it didn't really match the irritated look on his face. He slid over quickly as Charles opened his arms, twisting around so that he could lay his tired back on the man's chest.

'Too heavy?' he asked worriedly, as the professor embraced his torso, nudging him to sit in between his legs.

Erik WAS a little too heavy to be entirely comfortable but the Englishman wasn't going to admit that and spoil their cozy little interlude.

'Don't move,' he ordered, placing a soft kiss on the older man's temple, 'you're perfect right where you are.'

Erik folded his own arms over that of the professor just as the other man soothingly stroked the top of his head and so the couple remained quietly for a few minutes.

'But if you want to try with McCoy again,' Erik suddenly blurted out, 'I am alright with that.'

Charles sighed in exasperation and leaned down to nuzzle his cheek.

'That's very generous of you, dearest. But we are not going to torture each other like this. You may not want me as your boyfriend but I agree with what you said before; it did feel completely abnormal being out with someone that wasn't you. So … we can just shelf this particular social experiment.'

As physically entwined as they were, Erik felt there was no way that Charles could miss his shudder of relief but the other man graciously didn't comment. It's not that he didn't want Xavier to eventually find someone to care about, but he would rather be a million miles away when it happened.

'Alright tell me,' the Englishman prodded, 'I can hear your brain churning away. What's bothering you now?'

Crap! Was the professor doing that mind reading thingee again?

'There is something else,' Erik began quickly before his courage gave way. 'This is hard for me to say, so just let me say it.'

The Englishman perched his chin on the other man's shoulder waiting patiently.

'It really disturbed me when you just walked out the mansion like that. Don't…' and here Erik stopped. What right did he have to be making demands on the young man in his own house? 'Just reconsider next time you feel compelled to do so. How would you feel if something had happened to me when we were apart? You would feel like shit.'

As Charles pulled on his shoulder, he turned his head around to eagerly accept the man's apologetic kiss; closing his eyes as the young man deepened the caress in exactly the way he liked.

'Forgive me,' Charles whispered against his parted lips.

'I will, if you tell me why,' Erik bargained. The professor's actions were so out of character that he had resolved to somehow get to the bottom of it.

'I wanted to hurt you.'

The older man pulled away blinking in surprise. He hadn't really expected Charles to answer him so directly and what an illuminating answer it was!

Absently, the two men focused their attention on the cat that gracefully picked her way across Erik's lap, wanting to join in all the hugs and kisses that were being shared around. She was a welcome distraction, diffusing some of the emotion in the air with her hypnotic purring.

'You wanted to hurt me as much as I am hurting you,' the older man summarized as he agitatedly stroked Ash's back. 'I was afraid that this would happen. What can I do Charles? Tell me and I will do it!'

He stared anxiously at the tiled wall opposite as he waited for the small man behind him to say something. Despite the intense conversation they were having, the way that Charles continued to caress his head in slow, sure strokes was making him quite sleepy. The stress of the day had really gotten to him.

'I need you to talk to me Erik. Make me understand why you are keeping me at a distance. My heart would rest easier if I could just know.'

As the silence stretched on, Charles closed his eyes in defeat, slowly falling forward to rest his head on Erik's shoulder. The man wasn't going to tell him. It was months since Erik had promised that he would voluntarily come to him and talk about his past but now, at this moment, Charles knew that it was all a lie; Erik had no intention of doing so. Did he really need any more evidence that Erik didn't want to stay and be part of his life?'

'From the first moment I met you, I liked you Xavier,' Erik confessed quietly, 'your energy, your focus, your generosity of sprit. I was surprised when I felt you reaching out to me in turn; a complete stranger and convicted criminal! I want you to know Charles that your friendship has been one of the most important of my entire life.'

Erik reached over and consolingly patted the head on his shoulder as the professor silently soaked his shirt with a perfect rain of warm tears.

'But there are true horrors in my past that I cannot escape from and I will NOT expose your mind to such darkness, I will not! Charles, it's not true that I don't want to be your boyfriend, your lover…anything that you would allow, that would keep me close to you. For me, it would be an incomparable blessing seeing your lovely face everyday, but to do so would mean dragging you into my nightmare.'

He could feel Charles arms tighten around him to the point of pain. But he didn't mind, to him the pain felt good. He would endure it all; absorb all of Xavier's pain into his own body if he could. And why shouldn't he, as he was the cause of it!

'I don't appreciate you taking the choice away from me, Erik!' he replied determinedly through his quiet sobs. 'You make me so mad that I could just…knock you out, if I was strong enough.'

The older man smiled wistfully at this spirited answer. Charles was a courageous personality; a compassionate and loyal friend. Erik suspected that he would walk with him to the very end if he allowed him to.

'The only way for you to knock me out, is if you grew a couple more inches,' he joked lightly, not surprised when the other man slapped him in the back of his head for his insolence. It achieved the effect he wanted though, as the professor's annoyance had temporarily driven away his pain.

'Your nightmares,' Charles sniffed, a slow realization suddenly dawning on him, 'you are remembering your past, aren't you?'

'Yes. But the nightmares are going to stop. I will make them stop.'

The professor shivered at the pure venom and hatred in Erik's voice and resumed the slow caress of other man's head as a way to calm them both. He smiled fondly down at Erik as the larger man curled even deeper into his chest and turned his head sleepily against his shoulder as trusting as a small child.

'Erik, how will you make the nightmares stop?'

'There is something I am going to do that will make them go away.'

'Can you tell me what?

'I would rather not.'

'Why? Is it something I would disapprove of?'

'Most likely'

'Something against the law then?'

'Perhaps'

'Can I come and help you?

'Absolutely not!'

'Why? You know I have resources.'

'You would do something illegal for me?'

'For you, yes.'

The professor scowled as he felt Erik's suppressed laughter through their intimate embrace.

'You cannot come with me Charles. That is not a place for you.'

'Why?'

'Because, I said so.'

'Erik! Just how illegal is this!?'

'No.'

'You can tell me.'

'I could?'

'Yes, you can.'

Sigh.

'Whatever is the most horrible thing you can think of, it's even worse than that.'

'Dearest, I wish you wouldn't.'

'I have to.'

'And then what?'

'And then nothing. End game.'

The older man sighed blissfully as the questions ceased. And Charles didn't think he was stubborn. HA!

'Listen to me very carefully, my friend. Killing Shaw will not bring you peace.'

Charles was waiting for it and he braced himself as Erik snapped out of his sleepy trance and jerked away from him as if he had been shot. The older man turned towards him with terrified eyes, mouth hanging open in shock and then, all his walls came up. Charles could see the mental barriers being erected as the other man's face grew impassive, his eyes flat and cold. As Erik opened his mouth to speak, Charles hoped that he wasn't going to insult his intelligence by denying it.

'You ARE a clever little boy,' the older man spat out in a nasty, cruel whisper.

The hard look on Erik's face was enough to make his heart start to beat erratically. Many times he wished that the other man would look at him with such passion but now that he had it, Charles began to realise how frightening it was to be directly in Erik's crosshairs.

'Pardon me? Who the DEVIL do you think you are talking to, Erik?! When you speak to me you will address me with the respect I deserve.'

The larger man rocked back on his knees and grimaced, 'You are a strange one Xavier. So now that you know, what do you want?'

'I don't want anything. As I said, my heart would rest easier if I could just know and now I know. Thank you.'

Erik pulled himself up until he was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, looking down warily at the professor within. The man's calm demeanor seemed at odds with the discussion they were just having.

'Now what?' Erik asked.

'And now I am going to the kitchen for a cup of tea.'

The other man automatically reached over to help the professor stand safely.

'Are you alright Erik?'

'I hardly know,' he replied in a quivering voice.

'I can make you some coffee if you want.'

'Fuck Charles! I am going to kill someone! How can you be so frigging calm?!' he scolded angrily.

'Because I know you,' the young man replied, scooping the cat up in his arms, 'you are not a cold blooded murderer, you must have a good reason for wanting Shaw dead.'

The other man nodded dumbly. The man had destroyed his life.

Charles titled his head to the side staring compassionately as Erik pushed his hand through his hair, completely stunned that they had just had this conversation in the bathtub of all places!

'Why don't I make us something hot to drink and we can go out for a sniff of fresh air?'

'Actually, would you mind? I just want to be alone for awhile,' the older man replied as he stepped out of the tub, 'I need to clear my head, perhaps find a corner and have a quiet heart attack or two'

He was a little scared to let Erik go off on his own but he swallowed his protests, trusting that the strength of their friendship would be enough to hold him to grounds of the mansion.

'I'll be here,' he mumbled, as the other man reached the door. He smiled as Erik turned around and waved his cell phone at him as if trying to reassure that he would come if called.

Since Ashley had chosen to go with her master the silence in the apartment was complete. The Englishman hummed a little tune under his breath as he assembled the tea making things thinking that he should be horrified by what Erik had just said but he wasn't. Instead, he felt really happy for some strange reason…excited in a pins and needles way. He and Erik had come to a deep, dark pit and had crossed over it together. He understood now why Erik was trying to protect him by keeping his distance and if their relative positions were reversed he would have done the same. With this new knowledge, Charles hoped that they could get off this dead end path they were on (no pun intended) and journey in a new direction; one that didn't involve them going their separate ways at the end of the parole. Was it wrong to feel so hopeful, even though the man he loved was perhaps plotting to stick a knife in someone's heart?

**Anote**: I have many deadlines this week so i will have to catch you guys weekend after next. But just a little chapter preview for my loyal readers.

"If his cat hadn't seated her furry little rump on the ground and refused to stalk another step, Erik would have been half way to village without even realizing it. She had sat on the edge of Charles' property line bawling at him in an almost human like way, rightly wondering where he was going in the dead of night without proper clothes, food or money. Erik had trained himself to operate under pressure, sweeping aside disappointments and figuratively turning on a dime if it was warranted. Always he would walk into a new situation with not only one plan in mind but ten! He had obviously become pampered and careless as a direct result of living in Charles' mansion. Reluctantly he walked back to the house chastising himself for panicking. Christ! If he had really broken parole he would have had half the state's police force after him not to mention what that would do to Xavier. It was not the professor's fault that he was saddled with a half wit maniac."


	37. Facing reality part3

Chapter 37- **Facing reality part 3**

The professor was fairly certain that if the fire hadn't gone out in the grate, he would have slept all night in his armchair. As it was, his eyes immediately cut across the gloom to the shadowy figure standing a few feet away.

How long had Erik been there, staring silently as a post?

'What time is it?' the young man asked instead of the "What the blue blazes are you doing!?" that he was wondering in his head.

'One o'clock, I think,' the man informed him succinctly in accents that were almost as chilly as the room.

Yikes! Erik was in one of his black moods. Bloody fantastic, he thought morosely to himself.

The older man approached then and leaned over to pick up Charles' cell phone. It had slipped out of his nerveless fingers when he fell asleep, waiting for the other man to return.

'And who have you been talking to tonight?'

The menacing note in his question was palpable.

'Just Hank. Well…trying to. He sent a text saying he reached home safely but he won't pick up his phone to talk.'

A few moments that seemed to stretch out like an eternity past before Erik held out the small device for him to retrieve. 'Perhaps he is hoping that you will change your mind if you sleep on it.'

'Perhaps,' Xavier muttered under his breath.

'Perhaps what?'

Charles looked up at him in confusion as the older man grabbed his wrist and dragged him to his feet. The small man wasn't too happy about being manhandled around like this.

'Perhaps you will change your mind?' Erik supplied helpfully but in a manner that bespoke of intimidation in the very, near future.

'Erik, you're hurting me.'

'I am little on the edge, little one,' he confessed in a confused mumble, 'perhaps it will be better if you quickly confirmed for me what exactly is this situation with you and McCoy. I was under the impression that we had decided to be in this sinking ship together.'

To the professor's mind, they had decided on no such thing and Charles could not help from feeling disappointed as this was hardly the romantic proposal of his dreams. It dawned on him then, that suddenly a lot of his life seemed to be caught up with whatever shit was going on with Erik. But he didn't think that now was the time to complain about this, because it was apparent from Erik's ice cold fingers that the larger man was in desperate need of reassurance.

He hooked his free arm around the other man's waist and hugged him as best as he could, 'you are correct. It's you and me now, till the screws fall out.'

Thankfully the older man released the punishing grip on his wrist and with the quick swing in temperament that Charles had come to expect, began to tenderly massage the sting away.

'I assure you that I am smiling on the inside to hear you say this,' he replied in a flat monotone.

Charles smiled sympathetically at the expressionless look on his new boyfriend's face and he resisted the urge to sigh. They might as well as have been discussing the latest sales in Wal-Mart for all the animation in the older man's manner. It was on the tip of his tongue to tell Erik that this wasn't at all necessary; that he didn't need to mark off his territory like some wild animal but something in his head told him to just go along with anything the older man wanted tonight. Erik would need time to equilibrate and realize that just because somebody knew his secret, did not mean he was NOT in control of his life anymore.

'Charles, can you make me something to eat?' the tall man asked unexpectedly, just as the academic was wondering what to do next. 'I skipped dinner and I am starting to feel a little light headed.'

The professor expressed suitable horror before dragging him off to the refrigerator to scavenge among the leftovers. He was frantically looking over the selections when Erik rattled a box overhead. Arching a perplexed eyebrow, the young man inserted the contents into the microwave, wondering what this was all about. Erik didn't need his help to heat up a microwave dinner. With a musical ding, the meal was ready and as the professor carefully maneuvered the hot container on to a plate, Erik passed him another box with a hopeful expression. He watched with a half smile of amusement as Erik dug into the mush of his Mac and Cheese with gusto.

'Fanks' he garbled inarticulately but earnestly, 'No one makes this as good as you do.'

Charles had to softly snort at such an unusual bit of silliness from the normally serious man. 'I am going to take a quick shower.'

He placed the second heated box on the counter and then moved to the dresser to retrieve his pajamas, aware that Erik was following his every move as if he would disappear if not watched carefully. It saddened him to see the older man so insecure and uncomfortable.

'Can I stay the night?' Erik blurted out rather loudly, causing him to jump.

He wasn't sure why Erik felt the need to ask but he decided to play it "cool", sensing that if he showed any pity or hesitation, Erik would just shut down. He had gone through this with the older man before. When he had first come to the mansion, it had taken some time for the other man to find his rhythm. Most likely Erik wasn't even aware of what he was doing.

'Of course,' Charles answered calmly before walking towards the bathroom door. He didn't look back.

Erik stared at the closed bathroom door as he devoured his meal, making quick work of the first before grabbing the second carton. If his cat hadn't seated her furry little rump on the grass and refused to stalk another step, Erik would have been half way to village without even realizing it. She had sat on the edge of Charles' property line bawling at him in an almost human like fashion, rightly wondering where he was going in the dead of night without proper clothes, food or money. Erik had trained himself to operate under pressure, sweeping aside disappointments and figuratively turning on a dime if it was warranted. Always he would walk into a new situation with not only one plan in mind but ten! He had obviously become pampered and careless as a direct result of living in Charles' mansion. Reluctantly, he walked back to the house chastising himself for panicking. Christ! If he had really broken parole he would have the half the state's police force after him not to mention what that would do to Xavier. It was not the professor's fault that he was saddled with a half wit maniac.

As he irritably picked his way through the darkness, he tried to calm him mind. (The professor would have been so proud). Carefully he laid out his motivations for staying; scrutinizing them impartially and at the end of it all he was forced to concede that staying out of prison was not his primary reason for being here anymore. Living with Xavier for so long had awakened him to the fact that he now had responsibilities; tasks of honor and of loyalty tangled up with the friendships he had made could not be easily sidestepped. As he walked out of the forests surrounding the well manicured lawns of the professor's estate, he had stood there staring at the only square of light visible in the dark, knowing that his friend waited for him there; a safe harbor not only from the cold night but from his own dangerous impulses and even darker motivations.

A short time later, the professor strode out the bathroom looking around as the light from his re-lit fire picked out the shadows of the objects within. 'Erik?'

It was only as the tall man moved did Charles realize that he had been standing against the dark curtains, staring through the window.

'Erik, why are all the pillows stacked in the armchair?'

'Because I need to keep my hands busy. Get on the bed.'

Ohhhhhhhh buckets.

'Shouldn't we try to get some sleep?' the young man asked hastily, attempting to quickly open negotiations as Erik reached his side and began to nudge him forward. 'We have work in the morning.'

The Englishman had thought that perhaps the other man would want to discuss some more of this trouble with Shaw but evidently he was quite wrong. It wasn't that he didn't want to be with Erik but not like this; not when the older man seemed to be holding on to his composure by a thread.

'Sleep? The older man said darkly, 'I will try but I am not sure of that. Not tonight.'

Charles didn't have time to protest any further as Erik gently pushed him face forward on to the mattress before climbing on top of him.

'What are you DOING Xavier!?' he questioned irritably, as the small man jerked suddenly almost throwing him off, 'Relax.'

Oh.

Charles felt his eyes drift close under the expert ministrations of the other man's fingers. If he had known that Erik was capable of this he would have cornered him ages ago!

'Erik, WHERE did you learn how to do that?! Don't tell me…you dated a masseur?'

'No, my father taught me.'

'…your father was a masseur?'

He grinned as Erik laughed quietly. Coming on the heels of a very tense day, his laughter was truly one of the most beautiful sounds in the world.

'No one was a masseur, Charles. Father was an accountant and he taught me so that I could massage my mother when he was tired. She was a seamstress.'

'An accountant? So that's where you get your genius with numbers from.'

'Most likely.'

A seamstress? That also explained why Erik was such an undercover clothes whore.

Suddenly Erik stopped and for a second Charles wondered if he had said that last unflattering bit out loud.

'This isn't going to work,' the larger man mumbled.

'Don't stop!' Charles protested. 'What's wrong?'

He twisted around curiously as the other man slid one strong arm under his chest inorder to tuck him beneath the blanket on the bed, after which his brain then had a complete and utter meltdown as Erik reached under him again to remove his sleeping vest.

'Easy, easy,' the older man whispered as he felt Charles stiffen in surprise at his actions, 'you are entirely covered. Do you want me to snuff out the fire?'

Charles had to clear his throat before he could speak.

'I am fine,' he insisted confidently, the effect of which was somewhat spoilt when he squeaked in alarm. The other man had reached under the blanket again and slid his pyjama bottoms below his hips and almost like an afterthought, right off his body! However, the matter of fact, detached manner that the older man went about it all, did a lot to quell his instinctive nervousness.

'Much better,' the older man declared happily as he resumed the massage.

He leaned over with comforting concern, 'Alright there my friend?'

Despite the fact that he was most uncomfortable being stark naked, the professor smiled in confirmation and was rewarded with a quick kiss on the cheek.

'Sometimes this hurts, so just let me know,' Erik warned.

'It feels wonderful!' Charles countered in ferverent tones. 'Don't stop.'

Erik smiled at such a simple but heartfelt compliment. Xavier had a way of reaching out and connecting with people on this deeply personal and intimate level, just by the truthfulness and beauty of his mind.

'Dearest, can you talk to me?'

'I don't want to talk about Shaw right now.'

'Neither do I! Talk about anything you like. I love hearing your voice.'

The older man shook his head in rueful embarrassment. People didn't normally go around saying things like that to each other. Did they?

'I see you have adopted a new name for me … dearest?'

'It was either that or degenerate,' Charles replied mischievously.

'Dearest is fine,' he agreed hastily, 'What would you like to talk about?'

'Anything you like, your voice relaxes me.'

'I can recite the front page of today's Wall street Journal for you.'

'Um…i don't mean to sound picky but are there any other choices?'

'A couple came into the travel section today at work. They wanted a unique destination for their honeymoon.'

'Their visit has remained in your mind?'

'Not the couple themselves but the place they chose. Dubai. We looked at some books and I have never seen such things.'

The professor closed his eyes getting lost not only in the mesmerizing feel of Erik's touch against his bare skin but in the magical scene that the older man painted from what he had read. He listened as the other described the colorful people, the clash of old and new cultures and the long stretches of desert that appeared lifeless but were not. 'I have seen huge expanses of snow that stretched to the horizon but nothing like that. Have you?'

'The desert? No I haven't. But after your parole I would be happy to take you.'

Erik's hands stilled for a moment.

'Is that a bribe little one?'

'It's only a bribe, if it works!' he replied with an inelegant little snort.

The larger man looked down at the man below him. The professor appeared to have swept away his earlier discomfort of being unclothed and was now in a playful mood. It was curious but not unwelcome. He didn't actually want the small man burdened down by his secrets but he didn't want Xavier to be living in denial either. He had every intention of locating Shaw, gutting him like a fresh chicken and then watching him die. However Erik's present frown had to do with the manner in which the small man began to move around restlessly under his hands until he finally curled up on his side inorder to be comfortable.

He leaned over again with a questioning look.

'It was a perfectly good idea up to the point when you removed my clothes,' Charles informed him, looking up with a sigh. 'It's alright. I am fine…just ignore it.'

The older man grinned a feral smile at the sometime 'after effects' of a massage that the professor was now experiencing.

'Here, allow me,' he insisted, gently rolling the other man unto his back and nudging his legs apart.

The older man started when Charles slapped his hands away. 'Excuse me? What kind of guy do you think I am? We haven't even gone on a date as yet.'

Erik didn't know if he was more surprised at the wave of anger that rolled over him or its sheer intensity. He had observed the impish twinkle in Charles' eyes as he issued his denial but was unable to tease apart the man's words from his playful laughter. This wasn't the night for such games! Not when a worrying fear gnawed on his mind, continuously reminding him that the professor knew his secret. Charles held sway over his mind, whatever bit of his heart that still functioned and now he could control his freedom. It was singularly a most uncomfortable position to be in!

'Hey, hey…' the Englishman murmured in quiet tones, 'I was just playing.'

He patted Erik's thigh as the older man averted his face breathing hard.

'I know you are not too good at humor, dearest. Everything is really black and white in your world, isn't it?' he chatted companionably to himself, 'But you can let down your guard with me. It's safe here…why don't you give it a try?'

Erik crossed his arms and glared at the smaller man who rested in between his knees, nodding encouragingly.

'Can I take you out for dinner, Charles?'

It delighted the older man to have taken the professor by surprise and he watched in secret pleasure as a soft, warm smile slowly broke out across the man's face.

'Yes I would love that, but…'

Immediately, Erik's thick eyebrows furrowed together sinisterly, 'But nothing! What the fuck?! This isn't a fucking negotiation! You will go where I take you and LIKE IT!'

Charles ignored his rude words as he laid a gentling hand on his arm, 'But I have to talk to Hank first. He has been a good friend to us; we shouldn't do this behind his back.'

Erik, now realizing the true reason for his hesitation, nodded in agreement, 'should we talk to him together?'

Good lord! Henry would close up like a clam if they both cornered him. 'Let me give it a go and I will let you know if I need help.'

He smiled in relief as Erik calmly gave way to his request; a sure sign that the other man was beginning to pull himself together from the unexpected confessions of the night.

'It has just occurred to me,' Erik remarked in an off handed voice, 'that we are in bed together and one of us is naked and all we are doing is talking. Don't you find that peculiar?'

After a few seconds of strained silence, the older man threw up his hands in frustration, 'As you would say, "I am rubbish at this!" I try to say something flirtatious and it just comes out …terrifying. You are looking at me as if I just suggested that I spoon out your liver!'

Charles started to breathe again, 'I am sorry Erik. I didn't know you were trying to play. You have to smile a bit so that I know. Why don't…'

Erik raised his hand arrogantly to interrupt him, 'From now on, why don't you handle the appetizer and I will be responsible for the main course. And before the Englishman could ask him to explain further, Erik had ripped away the blanket and pulled him into his arms. The small man jumped in surprise but easily melted into the other man's embrace as Erik covered him with his heavy, warm body, casually kissing him slowly and deeply as if they did this every day and twice on Sundays!

The one long kiss then turned into several small kisses as Erik tested his welcome; wanting to make sure that he wasn't steamrolling the professor into doing something that he didn't want. As the academic plucked at his shirt, he quickly pinned both of the man's wrists above his head to keep them out of further mischief. 'I think one of us better keep their clothes on. Shh…, don't fight me on this. Please.'

He waited until Charles had ceased struggling to undress him and finally settled quietly on the bed, staring breathlessly up at him. They didn't have the words as mutual desire swept over them and in that small pause in time, they crossed over the line of no return together.

Erik felt his body start to tighten pianfully, as the professor obediently remained still while he kissed and nibbled a path along the column of his throat. He found it intensely arousing that the small man lay in the position that he dictated, knowing full well that the man did NOT have a submissive personality at all. Currently, he was also finding it difficult to maintain any focus whatsoever as the young man let out a series of heady moans in his ear.

'God Charles, you're just so damned sexy!' he mumbled thickly against his skin as he leaned forward to seal their lips together once again. He didn't even have to use his tongue to tease the man's lips apart as the professor opened readily for him to taste and without breaking the kiss he reached down between Charles' legs and took him into his hand. The small man unexpectedly arched right off the bed and Erik tilted his head to better capture the muffled shout of excitement through their kiss. He reveled in Charles' enthusiastic response to his touch.

Graciously he allowed the professor to take control of the intricacies of maintaining their kiss as he now concentrated fully on stroking the man's erection. Not that was any hardship as Charles was a much better kisser than he was anyway. The smaller man had a focus that he didn't have and always seemed to remember all of the movements that gave him the most pleasure.

In the meantime Erik kept telling himself not to be greedy. Over and over he repeated the words in his head. This awesome human being was allowing him to touch him intimately but even though it was more than a bastard like him probably deserved, it wasn't enough. It just had been too long for Erik and his mouth began to water as the heavy heat in his hand grew even firmer and electric to his touch. When Charles' head finally lolled back across the pillow and he started to distractedly chant his name under his breath, the older man threw caution to the wind. He would deal with the consequences tomorrow; beg on his hands and knees if that is what the smaller man demanded. The Englishman wasn't going to last much longer.

Swiftly he shifted down and with a bit of an embarrassing moan of his own, took the professor's cock into his mouth; closing his eyes to fully savor the exquisite contrasts of warm satin over steel.

'Erik, Oh God! MOVE!' Charles yelled out in warning but it had the opposite affect on his lover as the older man slid his hands under his hips to tilt his pelvis forward for a better angle. Erik could feel his own arousal starting to gather in intensity at the base of his spine and unconsciously he began to rut against him.

Fuckedy fuck…the professor was going to be the death of him tonight or was it morning? (Good GOD, who cared?!) This had gotten completely of control!

'Erik, if you want to move, now is the time to do it!' the Englishman cautioned again in a series of broken gasps as his release began to shake apart every atom of his mind and body. Instinctively seeking a strong anchor in the storm, the small man wrapped his arms and legs tightly around him and as his world collapsed, Erik eagerly swallowed the salty heat that flooded his mouth, sucking greedily to ensure that Charles rode out every last one of his orgasmic convulsions to the very end.

Reality soon began to sink in as he licked the man dry and the professor silently relaxed beneath him. Erik would be hard pressed to actually apologise for any of this as he wasn't sorry at all. It had been wonderful to bring so much pleasure to Charles; the shared experience being all the more gratifying because they cared about each other so deeply. For the first time he slowly opened his eyes to survey the devastation around them and reluctantly he pushed his own unsatisfied erection away from Charles' body. It would kill him now if the professor shouted at him or threw him from the room but to his profound surprise, the other man had already fallen asleep with a contented little smile decorating his face.


	38. Facing reality part4

More deadlines loom. Short chapters for awhile now.

Chapter 38 **Facing reality part4**

Charles' whole being felt crushed with disappointment as he opened his eyes and gradually surveyed the empty space beside him. Absently, he reached out to trace his fingers in the ice-cold, Erik shaped, depression on the pillow opposite and with a little groan, he stretched out his body, resolving to roll over and go look for him. Who knows what mischief the older man may have gotten himself into? However, for a moment longer he pulled the covers snuggly around him and closed his eyes, allowing the incredible memories of last night to wash over him. He knew he must have a huge stupid grin on his face, but he didn't care!

'Do I want to know what that smile is all about?' Erik asked quietly.

Startled the professor turned over. Even though the other man was fully dressed for work, words could not describe how happy he was to see him in the armchair opposite.

'Erik! You stayed!' he exclaimed joyfully reaching out one hand towards him.

The other man eagerly took the small hand in his, starting to feel a little calmer. It didn't look as though the professor was angry at all.

'You look glad to see me but if you will be giving me the cold shoulder today, I would rather know about it now,' Erik blurted out in a most untactful manner. He was too stressed out to wait until the professor got around to yelling at him.

'What are you talking about, my dear?'

'You are not….you are not upset about last night?' he mumbled disconsolately, 'I should have asked…I know I should have!'

Charles scrubbed at his face, still trying to wake up. 'Can I have some tea?'

The older man shook his head in disgust. Why couldn't he do anything right?

He turned towards the breakfast tray at his elbow which he had specially ordered to be brought up for Charles. As the small man leaned over to receive his cup, he took the opportunity to press a gentle kiss on Erik's forehead.

'I had a wonderful time last night. If you were doing something I didn't like, I would have told you then and there,' the young man reassured him firmly. 'Please don't fret like this.'

Erik was speechless and he squeezed the small palm as a way of showing his appreciation. God what was wrong with him?! His emotions were all over the map!

'I am embarrassed that I fell asleep on you though,' the academic added with a small smile as he sipped his tea, 'please wake me up if that happens again.'

The other man just nodded his head dumbly still not trusting himself to speak. Did Charles just imply that he was hoping for a repeat performance?!

The professor leaned against the headboards of the bed appraising the man next to him. No one had a right to look so damned attractive first thing in the morning!

Morning? Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph!

'Erik! The time!?' he yelled out in fright, frantically searching around the room for a pair of pants.

Anticipating this reaction, the other man laid a heavy immobilizing hand on Charles' thigh.

'Calmly, little one,' he instructed, 'I have already called your Head of Department and let him know you had a migraine this morning. He has assured me that he will find someone to cover your morning tutorial but you are to call him if you can't make your evening class.'

The professor groaned in relief. A migraine? Oh lord! Well it was a good excuse; an illness that could come and go without warning and be crippling enough to put someone down for a few hours.

'McCoy has already called you about five…no six times,' he added handing over his cell phone. 'I had to put it on silent.'

'Oh dear…did you talk to him?

'I thought you wanted to do it,' he replied as he watched the man scroll through his messages. 'Do you know what you are going to say?'

The professor heaved a deep sigh, 'The truth, of course. I am going to say that you and I have decided to give it a go.'

He reached out and squeezed Charles' shoulder supportively. Even though the young man didn't look worried, the Englishman could very well lose a close friend today because of this decision.

Erik raised a disbelieving eyebrow as the professor tossed away the phone before scooting over on the bed and patting the now vacant space beside him. The welcoming smile on Charles' face made the tight knot he still had in his chest unravel and suddenly it would seem that everything started to click back into its proper place. It was clear that no matter what, the professor was happy with the choice he had made.

'Ten minutes Charles,' he said warningly, pointing a raised index finger in his direction, 'and don't kiss me. I am already late.'

Kicking of his shoes, he slipped under the covers that the professor held out for him, smiling appreciatively as the small man cuddled up tightly under his arm.

'Can't I convince you to stay for a while longer?' he wanted to know.

'No, you cannot,' he answered, slowly stroking Charles' hair. ' I only stayed because I wanted to talk to you before I went to work. Make sure things were alright between us.'

Erik barely heard the soft disappointed sigh. 'I would PREFER to stay with you of course, but I don't think my manager would appreciate that. I don't want to square off with her again.'

'I didn't know you were having problems at work. Why didn't you tell me?'

'It's not a problem per say. I think our personalities just rub each other the wrong way but I appreciate your concern.'

The heavy stillness in Charles' body and the slur in his voice were sure indications that the man was half way to falling asleep again. Erik felt extremely pleased that one, Charles no longer seemed disturbed to be naked in his presence and two, that he felt comfortable enough in said state of undress to fall asleep.

'You really sleep like the dead, Xavier,' he remarked pressing a soft kiss to his bare shoulder, 'I tripped over a chair last night and you didn't even twitch.'

'You should have woken me up,' he insisted with a gigantic yawn, 'I didn't even get a chance to reciprocate.'

Hastily Erik caught the curious little fingers that were playing with his belt, bringing them to his lips for another kiss. 'That's alright. I took care of myself.'

'YOU DID WHAT!?' the professor yelled out, as he unexpectedly bolted upright in the bed.

The older man quickly caught the sheet that almost slipped off, swiftly wrapping it around the other so that all his tempting bits were covered. In the meantime, he listened with half an ear as Charles ranted and raved about what he done.

'Do you have a philosophical objection to masturbation?' he inquired when the small man paused to take a breath.

'No!' he choked out with a most becoming flush colouring his neck. 'What I am trying to say is you DON'T have to do that because you have me now. It's so….depressing and …lonely. You can call me if you have a need!'

Charles didn't understand why Erik looked so puzzled and skeptical.

'I don't know what to say. It doesn't bother me,' the older man confessed warily.

The professor reached over to snatch a napkin from off the breakfast tray, 'Well it bothers me!'

Using his chest as a table and the pen from his pocket, Erik looked on curiously as the young man furiously scribbled a note. He tilted his head to see but could only make out a few words. Finally the professor offered it to him and wordlessly he read the contents.

"I, Charles Xavier, promise the holder of this note, one thrilling night of oral sex on the proviso that he stops masturbating."

The young man chewed nervously on his lip as Erik impassively read the note several times before folding into a small square and tucking it into a zippered compartment of his wallet. He need not have worried as the older man reached up to pull him gently into his arms again.

'If I do this for you Charles, will you do something for me?'

'Yes.'

'Thank you for this homemade gift card, by the way. You seemed so reserved at times that it surprises me to the depths of my soul when I realize that you are into some really kinky shit.'

The small man began to cough in earnest at such a risqué description of himself and he cringed at the evil smile on the other man's face.

'I don't know what you mean, Erik!'

He flinched as the older man tapped him on the nose with the edge of his wallet, 'oh you know; this note for instance. And then what happened last night. Do you make it a habit of starting the night with one man and finishing it with another?!'

Erik flung up his hands to protect his face; laughing uncontrollably at his lover's outraged reaction.

'That was NOT what happened and you know it!' the small man yelled out furiously as he hit him repeatedly with a pillow, 'Stop laughing! That was NOT funny! Sometimes I don't even know WHY I like you!'

Still breaking out in sporadic chuckles, he leaned over the professor who had angrily turned over to face the opposite wall.

'You can leave now Erik,' he insisted, imperiously pointing at the doorway with one finger.

The larger man ignored this directive and pulled him closer, tucking him into his side.

'Besides I went out with Henry last night,' Charles mumbled in anguished protest, 'and you I were together this morning.

Erik sighed. 'I am sorry. I couldn't help my self. It wasn't a good joke.'

He kissed a soft path in the crook of the professor's neck and down his spine as way of apology.

'Your good opinion matters to me Erik,' he whispered fretfully.

Erik squeezed him so tightly that he stopped breathing, 'and that you have already my friend. Do not doubt me on this! It was a comment in extremely poor taste; a reflection on my own deficient character rather than on yours.'

Slowly Charles rolled over in his arms to meet his eyes, 'well, it's a relief that you are back to your normal self!'

'Ha ha,' Erik interjected in amused sarcasm, as he settled his body more comfortably over the man below him.

With another little yawn, the professor then reached up to casually drape his arms around Erik's neck, 'what is this thing you want me to do for you today?'

'I have put some apricot jam and an extra croissant on your breakfast tray.'

Charles scrunched his face unhappily, 'Good lord! Whatever for?! I could never eat all of that!'

'Well you will this morning!' Erik insisted firmly, 'Charles, you are severely underweight. My god, you are an adult male; I shouldn't be able to pick you up so easily!'

The older man scowled as the professor started to fidget and avert his eyes in apparent embarrassment.

'This has nothing to do with your looks Xavier!' he snapped impatiently, 'this has to do with your health. A doctor is going to have to stand infront of me and convince me that you being this weight is normal, and even then I won't believe it!'

'I've always been this way,' the small man groaned miserably; intensely uncomfortable that the other man was worrying about him like this.

'That's nice, but you will put on five more pounds this month,' Erik reassured him conversationally. Xavier….Charles, my little one… please, please do it for me. When I take you in my arms, it frightens me.'

As the older man anxiously pressed his forehead against his, the professor closed his eyes willing himself not to start crying again. Why couldn't Erik say I love you like a normal person?

'You're just trying to fatten me up like the wicked witch in Hansel and Gretel,' Charles whispered brokenly into his ear.

'Maybe I am. But even so, you looked incredibly beautiful last night, with the firelight all over your body,' Erik whispered back against the heat of this skin.

The large man cradled the professor's face in his hands and kissed away the tears that were spilling down his flushed cheeks. God Almighty, what were they doing to each other?! This was madness!

'Erik…I wish…'

'Eat your croissants,' the older man interrupted, kissing him almost brutally on the mouth before running out of the room as if the very hounds of hell were at his heels.

He knew what Charles wished. Sometimes he wished that things could be different too.


	39. Off the grid

Chapter 39- Off the grid

'Hi! This is Charles Xavier. I am sorry that I couldn't take your call. Please leave a message. Cheers.'

Beep.

'Xavier pick up the damn phone! What the hell is going on?! This is Officer Gerard! Alright…alright, I take it from the fact that you are dodging my phone calls that you know Erik is missing. Look, let's just meet up somewhere and compare notes. In case you have forgotten, this IS the job that I get paid for. What I know so far is that Erik got fired around two in the afternoon and then he went off the grid. I have been down here all evening investigating and talking to everyone. Erik shot off his mouth at the wrong person in management but hell, that's no reason to run off like that. It just doesn't seem like him…he's a fighter Charles. I know he is! If you find him, tell him don't worry about his work just come IN! He has a counseling session here at 8 tonight; I will be there at the door. Xavier…Charles…I try not to get too attached to my parolees but sometimes….god dammit…I like him, I like you both. But after tonight, there will be nothing I can do to help him.'

tbc


	40. Let it rain down part1

**Anote:** No more deadlines for a while (WooHoo!). Thanks to all the new readers who have favourited and are now following our story. I was listening to Phil Collin's song 'I wish it would rain down' when I was writing this chapter. Truly a beautiful and powerful musical narrative.

Chapter 40 – **Let it rain down part1**

Erik hadn't been in a bar in years. Two years and four months to be exact. It was peculiar how easily it all came back to him. It was like pulling on a warm, familiar cloak. The haze of smoke, the clink of glasses and the titter of soft conversation whirled around him in a soothing recognizable pattern of comfort. As the evening wore on, the discordant noises marching across his skull had become more manageable.

Unfortunately, the impatient bartender came back to his spot, where he sat at the counter staring meditatively into the reflective surface of the highly polished bar. He could feel the man trying to bore a hole in the top of his head.

'Sir, you're taking up valuable real estate. You have to buy another drink if you want to sit here.'

Erik silently pointed to the right where his drinking companion's empty glass resided. The barkeep shrugged his shoulders as he once again refreshed the lady's cocktail. He had already tried to engage his visibly upset patron in some conservation as per his unofficial duties as a bartender but the tall man had glared him into silence as he nursed his single drink of scotch. However, although the bartender had already moved to the other end of the long counter, he continued to ogle in perverted fascination as the beautiful woman wrapped herself sinuously around the man's leg. She wasn't having any luck getting him to talk either but it was damned exciting to watch her try!

With a sigh, Erik again reached down and removed her hand as she boldly inched up his inner thigh. You would think after multiple tries she would lose interest. He would much prefer if she started to talk again. She wasn't unintelligent and he was actually thinking that he had been lucky that someone who understood the intricacies of commodities trading had chosen to sit next to him.

'No, thank you,' he repeated politely if not a bit absently.

'We can go somewhere and talk,' she suggested in a seductive voice, apparently not being used to being brushed off by anyone she had selected for the night. 'Or we could not talk if you would prefer that.'

Erik ignored her and took a sip of his drink. He enjoyed the burn as it snaked down his throat and hit his stomach with a satisfying sizzle. He sighed again as she leaned in to brush her lips against his ear, 'I think I have competition.'

Great.

So much for a quiet drink.

He resisted the urge to turn around and investigate as she stared curiously at whoever was looking. Grimacing as she hit him in the face with her long white blonde hair, he leaned away wondering if he shouldn't just get up now and walk out. He had been telling himself for the past hour to pull his phone out of his pocket and check his calls. No doubt a few of those hundred missed calls was the professor, who most likely was worrying himself into a state at his continued absence. No expensive drink could generate the kind of heat that he was feeling now as his mind reflexively flashed to Charles' naked body. He closed his eyes and absently ran his thumb along his bottom lip, remembering the feel of the small man pressed against them.

All he really wanted was to crawl into Charles' bed and sleep for a week. No voices, no mission, no nightmares and no responsibilities.

During the humid afternoon, he had walked aimlessly through the city until the thick black clouds of heavy rain had broken, driving him to his current location to seek shelter. Now that he had been here for so many hours, he was reluctant to leave his place of refuge. Wearily, he pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes, enjoying the cool rush of the AC over his skin. He was tired, down to the bone tired. However, he knew the longer he stayed, the harder it would be to explain all of this to…well…to whomever he had to explain it to.

'I'm late,' he remarked pulling out his wallet to pay for her drinks.

'For what?'

He gave her a steely glance as he rose to his feet, 'For reality.'

He looked down as her small hand clamped down on his, trying to prevent him from leaving. For some reason now, his need to return the mansion was becoming urgent. He could almost hear Charles' voice mixed in with the soft jazz music in the bar and the rain that pounded away on the pavement outside.

Erik, along with everyone else, looked across the room as a drunken voice rose over the layer of civility that had until this moment remained unbroken. Patrons collectively raised their heads to sneer, as a large man boorishly tried to push his unwanted company onto another. Screams and surprised shouts then erupted from the crowd as Erik walked over, and casually slammed the man's head against the concrete wall.

'Can I have a word?' Erik remarked politely as his opponent slid boneless down the wall.

As if by magic, a clear circle opened up around the combatants. Enthralled and repulsed all at the same time by the primitive tableau, the flock of businessmen and women in the bar excitedly jostled for a good view. No one offered to help, not after taking one look at the crazed look on Erik's face.

'Had enough?' Erik sneered at the pathetic excuse who miserably flopped around like a fish on dry land, clutching at his broken nose in anguish.

Erik grabbed the man's beer and poured it on his face, to which he screamed and sputtered, half crawling and half stumbling to the nearest exit. Two workers hurriedly came forward to 'assist' the man on his way.

Erik was seething as he took the now vacant seat. Raising one hand in the air, he signaled one of the passing waiters to bring two waters to the table. As he waited in tense silence the rest of the bar patrons eventually drifted away.

'I want to talk to you,' Charles began in a stern voice, 'but if you are going to start shouting, might I suggest that you take a walk around the block. I will wait here.'

Erik glared at his boyfriend from across the table, willing himself to be calm. There was no way that he was going to let Xavier out of his sight, not dressed like that! His eyes roamed the man's frame, checking for any injuries from his uncouth admirer when abruptly he became aware that the crowd was also appreciatively gawking at Charles and he transferred his disapproving stare to them all.

Thankfully, the professor seemed oblivious to all this lustful attention as he shifted his motor cycle helmet from off his lap and on to the table. Erik could see Charles' more conservative shirt and tie ensemble peeking out from the space in between his black leather jacket but he doubted that anyone else could. More than likely, they were all staring at the way the small man was attempting to push his rain drenched hair off his face; a gesture that made him look wild and dangerous; a demon lover materializing out of a long forgotten fantasy.

'Did you ride Logan's bike out here?' Erik cried out in annoyed confusion, trying to figure out why his quiet, bookish little friend, looked like he had just stepped out of a calendar for diminutive male strippers.

Charles calmly sipped at his drink.

'It was the only way I could think of to get through this Friday night traffic. You were not answering your phone and I thought you were in trouble.'

He pointed his tumbler of water at Erik's discarded 'date', 'I see that you are in trouble just not the type of trouble I expected.'

The woman waggled her fingers suggestively as the two men glanced at her.

'How did you find me? Why the fuck did you just sit here?! Jesus, were you spying on me?!'

Erik rattled out the questions like machine fire, trying desperately to keep the onset of panic from settling in. He and Charles had been together for less than a day and this had to happen! No matter how hard he tried; every good thing in his life seemed to go wrong. He wanted to insist that the professor had the wrong idea but the clichéd denial stuck in his throat. Something cold and uncomfortable began to wriggle around in his chest. Why should Charles believe him? The small man knew his dating track record was spotty at best.

Charles sighed. There would be no chance of a decent conversation with Erik on the defensive, 'Logan has GPS in all my phones. And I was sitting here wondering what to say to you. I have been calling and calling. How could you just ignore me like that?'

The older man averted his eyes. Having to care about someone on a consistent basis was a lot harder than he imagined. Was he even going to get a chance now to make amends? The memory of McCoy and Charles dancing at the wedding rose up like a specter of doom before his eyes.

The professor jumped to his feet as Erik's new lady friend approached them and the other man rolled his eyes at this ingrained gesture of civility.

'Christ, Charles! Manners aren't important at a time like this!'

'Manners are always important, dearest.'

It was like someone had suddenly pulled a giant sink stopper out of Erik's side and the tension flowed out of his body like a roaring river, leaving him feeling pleasantly numb and relaxed. Charles' unexpected use of his pet name had drowned out his fear and with great difficulty he suppressed the happy grin that was hovering about his lips. Charles wasn't mad at him. Life was beautiful.

'Charles, Emma Frost,' Erik supplied as the two turned toward him for the introduction, 'Emma, Charles Xavier.'

A mercenary light lit up her cat like eyes as she recognized the illustrious name. Hungrily, she surveyed the small man at her side.

'You're wasting your time,' Erik cut her off before she could speak, 'he's gay'

The unexpected information caused her to pause but then she shrugged looking at them excitedly, 'I don't mind.'

Charles and Erik exchanged glances, communicating silently through their long months of familiarity.

_Where on earth did you find this awful woman?_

_Why are you looking at me for! Maybe she has rabies. Don't get too close._

'It's a pleasure to meet you Emma,' Charles replied with his habitual bow, 'Can you wait for Erik at the bar? I need him for a few minutes. He will be with you shortly.'

As she glided back to her seat in a bit of a muddled daze at having been so courteously but firmly dismissed, the professor drew his chair closer so that they could speak. Erik reached under the table and placed his hand on the man's thigh and he was thrilled when Charles anchored it firmly in place by covering it with one of his own.

'Charles, before you say anything I just want to say that I appreciate you giving me the benefit of the doubt about Emma. Believe it or not, she can carry out a fairly decent conversation about mutual funds.'

The professor brushed his thanks to one side, 'I didn't like the way she was hanging on to you but I could see that you were doing your best. Erik, I don't think I have a jealous nature so you can relax. I am not going to morph into some sort of animal every time you talk to someone. But don't mistake my silence for naïveté. You fuck up what we have and I will never let you touch me again.'

The older man blinked stupidly as Charles' verbal slap in the face was as effective as if he had used a sledgehammer. He had received the message loud and clear. Unfaithful behavior would not be tolerated. When did Charles become this scary?

'Anyhow you've got bigger problems at the moment. Do you know your parole officer has been trying to find you? Gerard left me a message saying that you lost your job this evening.'

Erik nodded his head.

'Don't leave me in suspense! What happened?!'

'Too much. The short version of the story is that I was having a really bad day. I think I need a vacation.'

Charles squeezed his hand in distress, 'It's me isn't it? I am putting too much pressure on you with this whole boyfriend thing.'

Erik leaned forward to silence the man with a soft kiss. 'At this point Xavier I think that's the only good thing going on in my life. Sorry, but it's too late to change your mind now. You are going to have to pry me off with a crowbar if you want to get rid of me.'

The professor gave him a gentle, amused glance from under his eyelashes. 'Thanks. What are you going to do about Gerard?'

'What do you think I should do?'

'I think you should call and at least reassure him that you are not halfway to Cuba.'

The older man groaned and slouched in his chair, 'I am going to need something stronger than water for that.'

As Erik dialed the number, Charles also took the opportunity to make an inventory of the man next to him. Naturally, the older man reeked of cigarette smoke but his eyes looked clear and focused. When he had pulled up infront of the establishment and realized that his boyfriend was in a bar, he had expected the worse. Charles knew how to sober up someone quickly (a left over remnant of his drinking days) but he doubted that it would pass muster with someone as sharp as Erik's parole officer. He looked on sympathetically as Erik winced; obviously getting an earful from the irate official.

Suddenly, the professor sensed a heavy presence on his back and he flicked his eyes to the bar to notice that Ms. Frost was intently staring at them both. He would let Erik figure that one out but she didn't seemed like the type to take no for an answer. Charles was lying of course; he did feel jealous. Emma was beautiful! There was a desperate and dark part of his mind that wondered what would have happened if he had chosen to stay at home waiting by the telephone for Erik to call. A shudder ran through his body; Erik had trusted him enough to let him walk off with his ex-boyfriend and now he was being called on to do the same.

Erik snapped his phone closed without even saying goodbye, 'What?'

'What, what?'

'Charles, I am not in the mood. What's wrong and don't tell me nothing, I can see it in your eyes.'

'I am just thinking about stuff. Why do I always have to tell you what I am thinking?! You never tell me anything.'

Erik growled low in his throat, his hard won peace of mind slipping away by the second. 'I need the keys to the bike. I have to get to the parole house like half and hour ago.'

Charles protectively clasped the pocket that held the keys. 'I can't! It's not mine to lend.'

'I am not going to break the damn thing!'

'Erik, please don't ask me!'

The eyes of their fellow bar patron's were focused on them again as they both rose to their feet in agitation.

'I thought you came here to help,' Erik hissed angrily. 'What's your problem? It's Emma isn't it? You're upset about it and now you're screwing with me.'

The professor sat down with a disdainful snort, 'I AM here to help, but you are asking me to break confidence with a friend who trusted me with one of his most prized possessions. I expected more from you Erik.'

In his anger and humiliation Erik reached out across the table to grab the man's forearm. How dare Charles speak to him like he was a three year old?! Only later it would dawn on him that he had been casually pressuring the academic to break the trust that he himself had come to rely so heavily on.

Irritation turned quickly into surprise, when the professor suddenly twisted his arm around and pushed up his sleeve. 'Erik, what is that?'


	41. Let it rain down part2

**Anote:** I am so happy you are enjoying the story _**sjl. **_You should sign up for an account so that you can receive updates on new chapters and you can bookmark all your favourite stories. Tonight, I also have my readers on the US coast in mind. When I first started writing this story arc, Tropical Storm Sandy had sent some rain to my island. Never did I imagine where that storm would be today. Keep safe everyone!

Chapter 41-**Let it rain down part2**

The small man's blue eyes looked impossibly large in his now too pale face. For a moment, Erik was tempted to make the most of this circumstance but the new and improved Erik, shied away from such deceptive behaviour. In the meantime, the old Erik sneered at such a nauseating display of ethics.

'It's nothing,' he reassured the other man, ripping off the ubiquitous thick strip of tape and cotton ball from off his arm, 'I went in to a free clinic for a blood test.'

He grabbed his seat and pushed it even closer to the professor's as the young man watched him with a petrified expression, 'please don't worry. I am not worried.'

He sighed as it was clear that his words had not penetrated into the Englishman's mind. He hadn't meant for Charles to know about this.

'What is this test for?' the professor finally managed to garble out.

Once again Erik averted his eyes trying to quickly find a way out of this messy, emotional conversation. 'It's nothing. I just thought I better get myself checked out. That is if your little offer on the napkin still holds from this morning.'

He gave Charles a supportive squeeze around his back as he felt a slight tremor run through his slight frame. It was moving to know that the small man cared so much.

'Dearest, do you think you have something?'

He might. He hadn't been particular careful all these years.

'I don't know. I just don't want to take the risk where you are concerned.'

The way Charles was staring at him gave him a momentary pause and abruptly he removed his arm that previously was draped around the man's shoulders. Promptly, the professor reached out and replaced the limb around himself, 'I'll go with you for the results. And yes, my offer still stands.'

'That is not necessary,' Erik whispered softly against his hair, 'but would be appreciated.'

He didn't really need any company but he thought it best to give way. Judging from the way that Charles was slumped awkwardly against his chest, it was clear that the other man was upset. The only thing he cared about was not giving any disease to Charles, not if he had any lethal microbes running around inside him. He felt fine. Good enough to take Shaw out at the end of his parole in any case. After that…well, to be truthful he hadn't given it much thought.

'You know what I think?' Erik inquired rhetorically, trying to steer the conversation into less troubled waters, 'I think neither one of us should ride Logan's bike tonight.'

Silently, Charles watched as the older man fished the keys out of his jacket pocket and tossed it towards the barkeep. It really helped that Erik was keeping so calm about this blood test. The professor had to keep reminding himself that it was just a precaution. Nothing to worry about!

'Two cabs,' Erik ordered, raising his fingers in a like manner to reinforce the request for separate taxis.

He quickly shushed a murmur of protest, 'Go home and get some rest. You look like you are ready to collapse. I don't know how long I will be at the meeting. I suppose Gerard will need some time to tear a strip off my hide.'

As Charles pressed a kiss to his lips Erik stiffened in surprise, a bit astonished at such a public display of affection from the normally reserved scholar.

'I want to go with you,' the professor pleaded.

'Of course you can come but are you sure you aren't too tired?'

'I am not tired. We can put Emma in one cab and you and I could take the other.'

'Emma? Christ…I had forgotten about her.'

Charles felt his insides do a mad victory dance at these words. Take that…beautiful babe with the weird sparkly smile! You lose! Muwhahahaha! The professor rolled his eyes at the badly behaved voices in his head. He was spending way too much time with Erik it would seem.

As the doorman signaled the arrival of their cabs, Erik guided him back over to the bar and gestured for him to sit. 'Stay here and don't interfere.'

Unbeknownst to Charles, the barkeep and Erik had exchanged looks which now lead to the former hovering protectively near the small man.

With growing curiosity, the professor watched as Erik beckoned for Emma to approach him so they could talk. He couldn't make out what was being said as the older man relentlessly nudged her towards the waiting taxis but he shot out his seat as Erik grabbed her arm and pushed her forcefully out the door. He would have run forward if the bartender hadn't stepped into his way.

'Your man said to stay here,' he rumbled as he moved to the left and right inorder to block the professor's approach.

'But he's hurting her!'

'I wouldn't worry. She can handle herself.'

The bartender shook his head apparently amused at Charles' green attitude, 'Not all women need rescuing and trust me that one doesn't. But it's decent of you two to get her home on such a rainy night. Most men would have just left her sitting there.'

Not mollified by this complimentary remark, the professor frowned darkly up at him and then at Erik who now approached Emma-free.

However, the older man didn't even notice his disapproving glance or if he did he was ignoring it. Quickly scooping up Charles' helmet in one hand and threading his other arm around the young man's waist, he hustled them out the door much to the disappointment of the crowd who had greatly enjoyed the change in scenery with these two colorful individuals.

'Move those little legs Charles,' Erik bit out as the rain promptly soaked them in the few feet from the doorway to the waiting cab.

In relief the two men tumbled into the dry, warmth of the interior. Quickly Erik provided directions as Charles tried to dry his face with his already damp handkerchief.

'Alright there, are you?' Erik inquired as he tugged on his arm to bring him closer to his side.

'Of course, I am alright. I am here with you.'

In the dim light of the taxi's interior, the professor could just make out the tension that came over Erik's face like a shroud.

'You wish I wouldn't say things like that, don't you?'

'Yes and no,' Erik eventually replied in a soft murmur, 'especially when I can't say the words back to you.'

'I don't need you to say the words. I already know.'

How could he not? The way Erik selflessly worried about his health and happiness was as plain as the nose on his face. His ACTIONS told the professor all that he needed to know about what dwelt in his heart.

Erik looked a bit confused but for Charles it was like a truth that he had always known but perhaps not always had confidence in. The assiduous care that Erik always showed for him was one of the very first things that caught his interest (well that and Erik's brooding movie star looks). It was a welcome change from always having to exhaustively look out for his family, friends and at times even his students. Charles felt his heart flutter a bit in panic as he squarely faced how attracted he was to Erik. Was he starting to fall in love with him? Maybe he was but that shouldn't feel like if you are about to have a heart attack, should it?

The taxi driver cleared his throat with a pointed cough, 'you boys want me to take the scenic route or direct?'

Charles smiled as the man peeked at them in his mirror, good humouredly waggling his eyebrows in a suggestive manner. 'Please take us via the most direct route as quickly as you can. The gentleman will pay extra.'

Erik raised an eyebrow as the professor pointed in his direction but he was actually quite pleased. This was his mess to clean up and as much as he had become accustom to Charles' fussing there were times that he found it a bit insulting and overbearing.

Pulling his boyfriend half way across his lap, Erik slid down a bit into the seat to be more comfortable. The night was dreary indeed, with the rain pounding away at the top of the cab's roof and running down the windows in a clear waterfall.

'How did things with McCoy go?' he murmured into his ear.

The professor released a frustrated sigh, 'Erik, there is a high probability that Hank is going to pick a fight with you, sometime in the near future.'

The older man restrained himself from laughing with great difficulty.

'That's fine,' he replied. 'But the two of you are talking, right?'

'More or less. This is so very …unfortunate. I think Henry is a bit confused about what he is feeling. I am suddenly spending so much time with you and none with him and he misses me. I am fairly certain he doesn't love me. Maybe I should spend a little more time with him.'

He squawked out loud as Erik suddenly crushed him to his side, 'Ow! I think you cracked my rib, dearest.'

'Forgive me,' the older man automatically replied as he released him. 'But I don't think that is a good idea at all!'

As Erik gazed down at him with a hard, blazing look Charles leaned forward in amusement to kiss the man on the tip of his nose. There was nothing like a little jealously from the man you were crazy about to make you feel special. 'How about we both spend time with him then?'

The older man's faced creased into an expression of acutest misery before he finally nodded. It was better than the alternative.

With a sigh of gloom, Erik leaned his head back on the seat edge and listened with a martyred expression as the professor rattled on and on about the activities that the three of them could take part in. Xavier was crazy if he really thought that he would want to go volunteer in the undergraduate science fair! All of a sudden, he noticed that Charles' voice started to get all weird and he struggled to raise his head to investigate. It was distorted, as if being squeezed down a narrow tube and between that one thought and the next, he fell asleep.

The professor was so surprised that all he could do was stare.

In their entire acquaintance with each other he had never seen Erik sleeping. As was his habit, he usually dropped off long before Erik ever thought of coming to bed.

He felt his heart melt into a small puddle as he gently pushed the older man's thick hair from off his forehead. In repose, the little worry lines that constantly bracketed Erik's eyes had smoothed out giving him a peaceful look.

The driver, also noting this change, obliging switched off his radio.

'Sorry sir,' he whispered, 'There is a lot of traffic tonight with this weather. I am afraid we are in for a long drive.'

Charles didn't mind. It was actually the best news he had heard since he learnt of Erik's dismissal from his job. Slowly he removed his jacket and draped it over the two of them as best as he could, encasing them in their own little cocoon. But for once he didn't fall asleep as he rested his head on Erik's strong shoulder.

Instead he stared out the window unseeingly; forcing himself to concentrate on Erik's breathing so as not to think of all the things which despite his wealth and influence, he had no power to control.


	42. Let it rain down part3

Chapter 42-**Let it rain part3**

Erik raised his head slightly in order to again verify Charles' position in the back of the room. He was disturbed by the way the young man had started sneezing suddenly, but he was a bit more interested in why the Englishman had turned so quiet as they pulled up in front of the parole house.

However, the professor was not looking in his direction at the moment, as Charles focused intently on what one of the members of his support group was saying. He still wished that the young man had gone home to rest, but he couldn't deny that having Charles within view was both reassuring and relaxing. He watched as the professor pushed his borrowed long sleeved sweater up his arms, as he absently crunched on some crisps from the bag that he and Officer Gerard were sharing. The garment was far too big for him but at least it was dry. Gerard had insisted that the two of them change clothes as soon as they entered the building.

Erik's parole officer stared at him meaningfully and then pointed towards the man speaking, warning him to pay attention to what was being said.

Gerard had immediately grabbed hold of his arm, the second after they had walked through the front door. He had looked like he wanted to start yelling but at the last minute had changed his mind. Instead, he pushed the two of them into Erik's empty room to change.

Stretching out his long legs and then crossing them again, Erik tried to refocus on what his group member was saying about his botched attempt to have a conversation with one of his sisters.

Gerard had already informed him that he would have to return in the morning to 'ask' for his job back. He wasn't looking forward to it but he had lived through worse things in his life. Fortunately, Gerard had also volunteered to accompany him as back up. (Fortunate, so he wouldn't strangle his manager to death if she started on his case again). In addition, his officer had decided to punish him by 'volunteering' his next two free days to chauffeuring recent parolees in a walking tour of the city. Gerard knew him too well.

A bit of clapping signaled the end of the contribution and Erik absently joined in after a few seconds.

He almost fell out of his chair when their group counselor, Elaine, turned towards him again.

'Perhaps, Erik has changed his mind about sharing tonight. Your parole officer has told me that Erik had an interesting day today.'

He sat there looking stupid as all eyes swiveled towards him. No one had blinked when Erik had declined to share, as per habit ,but it was rare though that Counselor Elaine asked anyone twice in the same night.

The fact that Erik hesitated was a new development. Curiously she followed his line of sight as he again turned towards the back of the room to where his sponsor sat. Officer Gerard had filled her in on the day's drama and she was intrigued by how much influence the professor appeared to exert over Erik. He had more influence than she did at any rate; perhaps this could be exploited. She had been growing increasingly desperate as the months past. How could she give Erik the professional help he needed if he never spoke?

Standing to her feet she beckoned for Xavier to come forward. 'Everyone this is Charles, Erik's sponsor.'

Naturally, the professor's jaw dropped open at this unexpected invitation. However, the round of clapping to welcome this new and interesting guest was cut short as Erik sprang to his feet.

'LEAVE HIM ALONE!' he shouted at no one in particular.

Gerard and other assistants quickly stumbled to their feet, ready for action but paused as Charles also stood and raised his hands for silence. The small man's monumental calm dominated the room as he strode forward; smiling benevolently as a chair was placed for him in the centre of the group circle.

In the meantime, Erik awkwardly dropped into his chair as Charles gestured for him to sit. His mind had painfully blanked out as he stared directly into the professor's blue eyes. He was confused because even though he expected to see concern perhaps some nervousness, Erik saw something in the man's eyes that looked strangely like anger.

'Hello everyone,' Charles stammered out a bit unsurely as Erik's group gawked at him as if he had just fallen out of a spaceship. He smiled happily as everyone rumbled a greeting of welcome in return. Anyone, who had been previously dozing with their eyes open was now fully awake as they surveyed who they knew to be Erik's fabulously rich patron. However, Charles looked so boringly normal as he pushed up his long sleeves that there was almost a tangible sense of disappointment in the air. He wasn't even wearing a Rolex or Armani or anything.

Elaine pointed to a parolee whose hand had suddenly shot up in the air.

'Hi. My name is George and we are glad Charles is here because Erik is stuck.'

An even louder round of applause accompanied by a stamping of feet supported this statement. Erik fiercely glared at his group members, and with his eyes he promised to visit unspeakably tortures on their person if they did not immediately desist from such traitorous outbursts in the future.

'Thank you,' Charles replied quickly, as he fixed his eyes on the more pleasant faces of the group, avoiding Erik's stare of death.

Erik listened attentively as the young man told them a little about himself; grimacing as Charles exaggerated about how he had saved his life from Officer Pratt. His ex-jailor was a disgusting, abusing pervert not a murderer. However, under the influence of Charles' soothing voice, his heart rate began to calm down a bit now and he began to reflect on his moment of temporary insanity when he began shouting at everyone.

When Elaine had called Charles out, he had panicked. Erik could accept that his revengeful obsession with Shaw could perhaps lead to his eventual destruction but he would be damned if he would let that ruin the professor. Words like aiding and abetting had started flying through his head since last night. The professor may not know the motivation for his vengeance but he did know about his intent. But it didn't matter; if it really came down to it, he would say that he forced the professor to keep silent. He would lie through his teeth to ensure the young man was safe.

He also made a mental note to tell Charles how cute he looked as his hair softly curled about his head as it slowly dried.

'Thank you Charles,' his counselor interjected enthusiastically She had learnt more about her patient in the four minutes that the young man had been speaking, as opposed to the four months that Erik had been attending her sessions, 'Perhaps you have suggestions for us? We would like Erik to participate more at meetings.'

His eyes narrowed as he caught Elaine's gaze. He knew she had seen through his ruse a long time ago. He DID participate in meetings but that usually involved commenting on someone else's problems. Elaine wore an odd floppy hat and the same big flowered brooch to every meeting giving her a slightly loopy air, but there was a steel in her spine which she used to effortlessly coral twenty or so hot headed men into line every Tuesday and Thursday night. She wasn't a young woman anymore, but this was replaced by a beauty that came from the strength of her sprit, which over the weeks had reluctantly come to command Erik's respect.

Charles looked about him a bit unsurely, 'I am not sure if I am the best person to ask. He doesn't really talk to me either.'

Erik stared at him, completely flabbergasted by that preposterous comment. 'WHAT?! What does that mean?! You know me better than anyone alive!'

'Not about the stuff that really matters!' the professor snapped back recklessly.

Elaine raised her hand to regain control of the dialogue. 'Erik, I am giving Charles the flower pot. Remember whoever is holding the plant, gets to speak. You can't interrupt until he puts it down.'

The older man watched as Charles clutched the plastic daisy in its bright blue flower pot like a life preserver.

As the young man studied the hideous linoleum floor Erik wanted to say that he was sorry. He knew that Charles hated when he raised his voice. He had promised to save these shouting matches for important life or death occasions but to his regret, he had once again forgotten.

Elaine turned towards the young man at her side, 'Have you told Erik that it bothers you when he doesn't talk to you about the important stuff?'

That was IT! He had had enough of this shit!

The larger man leaned over and snatched the pot out of his boyfriend's fingers, 'Look! I know what he is referring to and I already told him…'

He was so surprised when the professor snatched the plant back that he lost track of what he was saying.

'Erik knows it upsets me.'

'No Charles,' she gently scolded. 'Don't look at me, look at Erik. Tell him how it makes you feel.'

The older man had initially thought it had been a trick of the light but it wasn't. Now that Charles was once again looking him in the eye, he could clearly recognize the pain there.

Like moving pictures in a reel of film, he began to recall all the times Charles had begged him to talk; all the times he had deflected the conversation or moodily pushed him away. At the time it had meant nothing to him. He had never allowed himself to be dictated to and even now he resisted the pressure that he felt building from his group around him. But it was evident now that he had been hurting the professor all along and the knowledge of that began to slowly shred his insides into small pieces.

The academic stammered out a few words but then glanced across to the counselor in despair. He couldn't do it. Such a confession would hurt Erik too much.

Elaine leaned towards him and whispered in his ear, scribbling something on her legal pad before shoving it into the professor's hands. Next she pointed to a white board off to the side. Erik didn't need to look at the board. He had helped create it and some of the text was even in his own handwriting. It was filled with 'feeling' words like sad, jealous, happy and resentful.

The professor took a moment to think and then looked up at the whiteboard. From the corner of his eye he could just see his boyfriend wearing the classic 'deer in the headlights' expression on his face.

'Erik, when you don't talk to me …'

By this time the small man was shaking so hard, Erik could actually see the legal pad vibrating in his hand. Gently, the older man leaned forward and removed the thin book. He badly wanted to hold Charles' hand but he couldn't; not in front of the crowd. 'Why do you have to do this? Why do you have to know? You say you trust me but you don't. I have told you that your mind won't be able to handle it but still you push and push and push.'

Charles scowled in frustration. Erik was missing the point entirely. 'It doesn't matter if I can handle it or not! Don't you understand! Erik you are going down a path that I can't follow. You're going to be alone again. I mean if that's what you want…'

The professor had a slightly crazed look on his face as if someone had suddenly hit him in the head with a plank of wood. He stood up so swiftly that the silent crowd which had been straining forward, eagerly soaking in every word, jerked back in surprise.

'Where are you GOING?!' Erik roared out mindlessly as Charles put the flower pot on the ground.

'I think I want to go home now,' the young man mumbled, massaging his forehead to relieve the pain behind his eyes. This was hopeless, nothing he said or did would make Erik change his mind. His new boyfriend had every intention of wasting his life in some kamikaze fashion and he would be forced to stand there and watch. Between this and the yet to be faced blood test results, it was just too much for one night.

The older man gaped speechlessly as Charles turned away. He couldn't believe this was happening! Charles was going to walk out on him? Perhaps he had dropped into another version of reality? Xavier would never abandon him!

'You want to know this big secret I have?' Erik yelled at the professor's back, completely appalled by this unexpected turn of events.

Erik was finding it increasingly hard to breathe as Charles refused to turn around, 'Christ, I will tell you if you want to know so badly. I just don't like talking about that part of my life. What I don't want you to know about me is that I fought in a civil war in my country. It was terrible and I should have died and yes, I absolutely do NOT want to discuss it.'

Everyone looked a little blank as if the man had just spoken in a different language. Erik had realized a long time ago that it was difficult for most people born into peace to even contemplate what those words actually meant.

'As you can see,' he added quietly, waving his hand at the men around him, 'It's just not something that you can blurt out in polite conversation.'

Charles plopped down in his chair, completely thrown by this startling revelation. 'I … I don't know what to say. Is that what your nightmares are about?'

To Erik, it was almost as if he could see the questions and half guesses zipping through Charles' brain as the scientist in him did what it did best; putting together scraps of information intuitively. In the background, he could hear Elaine scribbling notes feverishly on a fresh notepad. This was dangerous, they were too exposed here…he was too exposed.

'Erik, if you have ever valued our friendship, you will answer me!'

'What is wrong with you?!' Erik retorted defensively, as he started to wave his arms around in agitation, 'Is it so wrong that I don't want to talk about this? Why would I?! I don't want to remember all that blood and screaming and running for my life. It's not like in the movies, CHARLES! War is so horrific that it can't be put into words!'

Swaying on his feet, the older man towered over the professor, unconsciously trying to get the man to back away; to stop casually poking at such dreadful memories.

Charles looked up at his tall figure, concerned but unafraid.

Once again, as it had happened so many times in the past, Erik was struck most keenly by the beautiful color of the professor's eyes. Their brilliance was a like a light that reached deep into his mind; a siren call luring him away from the rest of the world.

It was the last rational thought he had before the floor rose up and slammed into his face


	43. Let it rain down part4

**Anote:** Grrr…more work stuff gets in the way of story writing. Will post again as soon as I can.

Chapter 43-**Let it rain down part4**

There was a second of silence and then complete pandemonium reigned in the small meeting room.

Charles knew he knew first aid, but as Erik crumpled at his feet, it was obviously that he had forgotten which part he had stored that information in his brain. Fortunately, other people remembered and he stared blankly as they rolled his boyfriend over to better check his breathing and vitals.

Later, Officer Gerard would tell him that he had then surprised the beejezus out of everyone, when he stepped forward and scooped Erik up in his arms as if he weighed nothing. Charles didn't remember that…he didn't remember walking down the corridor into Gerard's office and he didn't remember laying Erik gently on a beat up, second hand but comfy sofa. But he supposed it must have all happened because for days afterwards, his arms hurt so badly that putting on his shirt in the morning involved some painful maneuvers.

But for the present, the young man eased Erik's head on to his lap and he supervised his breathing as Gerard continued to administer basic first aid.

The parole officer grabbed a chair and pulled it up close, 'Pulse is nice and steady. He should wake up in a few minutes.'

'Shouldn't we call a doctor? He's not bleeding but he hit his head.'

The older man watched as the professor gently smoothed the fallen man's hair as tenderly as if he were a child.

'So now you are a couple?! How long has this been going on for?' he inquired in terse annoyance, 'You see this clump of grey hair I have? This is you and Erik!'

Counselor Elaine entered at this moment as the older man was running through a gamut of colourful but quaint obscenities. In her hand she held a glass of cold water which she kindly pressed on the professor. He smiled his thanks a bit feebly and took a few sips, saving the rest for Erik when he regained consciousness. After a while the professor looked up as the silence wore on. There was a look of concern mingled with pity on her face whereas Gerard just looked exasperated.

'Just because he is all scarred up on the inside, doesn't mean that no one can love him'

Gerard threw up his hands in the air, 'did he just use the L-word? Tell me he didn't just use the L-word? Someone just shoot me now and be done with it!'

'We are not saying that at all,' Elaine answered evasively, 'we just want you to be cautious. I don't think Erik really knows himself right now. Have you been together long?'

'Not long,' the small man finally admitted in a quiet murmur.

Elaine looked happy at that disclosure, 'That's good. You have feelings for him; I can see that but concentrate more on the friendship than anything else. He needs the stability of that relationship more than anything. Don't pour all your hopes into the idea that Erik truly returns these romantic feelings.'

The professor shook his head vehemently. She was wrong. She didn't know how much Erik cared for him, how carefully he watched over him.

'No?' she prodded sympathetically, 'Tell me…did this idea to enter into a relationship come as a surprise to you? Did Erik suddenly came out of nowhere and convince you that this was a good idea. You most likely had an argument before hand or perhaps some sort of mutual crisis. Does any of that sound familiar?'

Charles head snapped up in shock. There was no way she could have known all of that! He was so stunned that he had to force himself to focus on what the doctor, who had just entered, was doing. Just what was counselor Elaine trying to say?!

With impeccable timing Erik started to restlessly move about, and as he opened his eyes he automatically took a swing at the doctor who hovered a few inches over him.

'Easy tiger,' the man scolded gently as he caught Erik's fist in his own, 'I am friend not foe.'

Erik frowned at him as he weakly half climbed-half crawled up Charles' chest to put some space in between himself and the stranger.

'How do you feel? Dizziness, nausea, headache?'

'I would feel better if you would stop staring into my eyes. I'm taken.'

'I am not staring,' the doctor laughed quietly, nodding politely to a slightly red Charles, 'and I can see you're taken. I am just checking you for a concussion. You seem fine, but I will give you a prescription for something that will help you keep calm.'

The physician seemed genuinely amused as Erik attempted to glare the soul of his body.

'He was unconscious!' Charles insisted as he encircled Erik's torso with one arm to better stabilize him, 'shouldn't we take him for additional tests?'

The man shook his head, 'No, once he doesn't make this a habit. Fainting is a natural part of the flight or fight mechanism to protect the body from pain and or shock.'

'And not all pain is physical,' Elaine added for the edification of all. 'You gave us quite a scare a moment ago, my dear.'

'Don't call me that!' Erik roared at her as he clutched at Charles' arm.

The professor leaned over and murmured some words into his ear, raising the glass of cold water to Erik's lips.

Everyone watched as the man immediately quieted down as if it was the most natural thing in the world. The doctor silently left the room after he handed the professor the prescription, 'I'll be just outside having a coffee.'

'Forgive me, I won't call you that again,' Elaine assured Erik calmly; not at all fazed by the man screaming at her.

Charles looked across at her in admiration.

'But if you are up to it Erik, can I ask you a few questions?'

The man calmly sipped at his water, ignoring everyone.

'Um…maybe you should go ahead,' the professor suggested as it became apparent that the older man wasn't really interested in anything but the sparkly patterns in the bottom of the glass.

'I only get to see you in sessions Erik, but I was wondering about the rest of the time. Do you believe that you have extreme shifts in your temper, nervousness, anxiety, insomnia, nightmares, flashbacks?'

Charles felt the man stiffen in his arms but still Erik refused to acknowledge anyone else in the room.

'Yes, to everything but the flashbacks,' the professor quietly answered.

'Charles,' Erik began in a warning tone of voice as he put down his glass and twisted himself around, 'I can speak for myself.'

The professor feigned ignorance as he looked down at the man laying across his chest.

'What's wrong? You are looking at me differently,' Erik blurted out unexpectedly, 'I can see a change in your eyes.'

'De…Erik, I know you have a hard head but that was a pretty good knock you just got,' the Englishman replied with a comforting squeeze, 'I think you are imagining things.'

'No… I am not imagining things' he said sadly, 'you are finally seeing me for what I really am… damaged beyond repair.'

The large man looked so dejected that Charles had to lean down and kiss him, no matter who was looking. Erik looked a shade happier judging from the tiniest of smiles on his face.

Charles then tilted his head in apparent deep thought, 'I would say…you are more of a badly behaved investment with a great deal of potential. Did I say that right?'

The professor winked as Erik groaned in horror.

'High risk investment, Xavier, not badly behaved! How many times do I have go through this with you?!'

Elaine smiled along with them. Charles was really good at this.

Now that she had a moment to reflect, she recalled how well read and intelligent her patient was and therefore there was a 99.9% probability that Erik already knew what was wrong with him. The more she thought about, the more sure she felt. Erik was a little too clever for his own good. As she regained the attention of the two men before her, she made her decision, 'Erik, I think you know very well that you have Post stress traumatic disorder so I am going to get you the contact information of someone who specializes in this. Charles, I will get you some information to read.'

Erik snorted derisively, 'Don't bother, he will go out and buy every book and journal on the topic before the weekend is over.'

'Well it's true,' the older man teased as the professor scowled down at him.

'You knew you had this!?' Charles inquired incredulously, 'why didn't you say something or try to get help?'

The older man pressed his lips together in annoyance, 'I've been busy.'

This time it was the professor's turn to snort contemptuously, 'So I have observed.'

'Busy with what?' Gerard suddenly interjected looking between the two of them, 'anything I should know about?'

Erik shook his head in denial, looking as perplexed and innocent as one of Raphael's cherubs.

'Charles, don't hold out on me,' the officer warned, looking stern.

'I would tell you if I knew anything,' the professor shamelessly lied.

The officer massaged his temples started to feel the beginnings of a migraine coming on. He could some file some papers in the morning, requesting Erik's removal from Charles' house but that might take weeks to go through the system and the professor could hire an army of lawyers to slow it down even further. The end of Erik's parole was only weeks away in any case, and except for this one incident when he got fired, he had been doing exceptionally well and Gerard had no doubt that this was because of the Englishman's charismatic influence.

Gerard pointed at the two men as he turned to face Elaine, 'surely you are not on board with this?'

The woman sedately capped her pen and tucked it away in her pocket, 'I have already said what I wanted to say.'

Oh great. No help there.

'Professor, can you give Erik and I a moment?' he finally requested.

His parolee twisted around in a vertical position but all that did was to now have him seated shoulder to shoulder on the sofa with Charles, in an unmistakable line of defense.

'I would just tell him later when he asks' …'I think I better stay to keep things calm,' the two men said more or less simultaneously.

Erik glanced across at him questioningly, 'Why do you need to keep me calm?'

'Because your parole officer is probably going to tell you something that will upset you.'

Without thinking, the older man reached down and protectively laced his fingers together with the professor, 'Like what?'

Gerard crossed his arms across his chest and frowned as the conversation steamed ahead without him.

'I believe that he's going to remind you that as your sponsor who reports on your behaviour every week, that I am in a position of considerable power and influence. Therefore being in a relationship with me is a bad idea.'

Erik's eyes cut sharply towards his official, 'he will do no such thing because that would be grave and unforgiveable insult to your honor and your character.'

'I would not be insulted,' Charles insisted. 'It would be very professional of him to make that observation. We are grateful for his vigilance.'

'We are?' Erik asked skeptically.

The professor nodded firmly and he gestured for him to make an agreeable overture towards the man sitting infront of them. Erik appeared to mull over the idea for a few moments, 'I know there isn't going to be a problem like what you are thinking, but if there is, I will let you know.'

Charles grinned happily and looked over at Gerard. That was a better response that even he had anticipated! He had expected some more profanity at the very least.

'You have a place here Erik,' Gerard reminded him, 'call me any time day or night if you need to talk.'

'Can I go home now?' the man asked tiredly as he slumped against the squashy cushions.

Home? Lehnsherr was thinking of Charles' mansion as home? Gerard sighed. This was a bad idea; he could feel it in his bones.

'I'll meet you in the morning infront the book store. Try and get some rest and I hope you two don't have any more surprises in store for me.'

'Just for you, we will try and keep things boring for at least another day or two,' Erik deadpanned as he leaned his head back to stare at the ceiling.

'I will look forward to that,' Gerard retorted dryly.

In the meanwhile, the professor glanced contemplatively at the closed door, 'John, are you out there?'

The professor's handyman cheerfully slammed open the flimsy door, naturally causing it to recoil off the wall. He then energetically bounced across the room to look down at Erik's prone form.

'Lehnsherr, you fainted?!' he roared gleefully, even as he quickly and expertly checked his two friends for any injuries, 'you look like shit!'

'Go fuck yourself,' Erik greeted him, without opening his eyes.

He was thankful however for the man's strong shoulder as he was pulled on his feet. Erik was almost out of earshot but not quite, when Elaine suddenly called the professor back to her side.

'Don't forget what I have said,' she reminded him.


	44. Let it rain down part5

Chapter 44- **Let it rain down part 5**

With a gentle click, he closed the bedroom door.

He wished it was so easy to close out other things. As he stared at the man on the bed, he would give anything to silence the doubts racing through his mind, to erase the disappointment that flared in his heart. Perhaps Elaine was right. No, scratch that …she WAS right! What other explanation could there be as to why his spanking, new boyfriend had ditched him by the elevator, and abruptly retreated to his own room on the ground floor?

Jealously, Charles stared at the cat that swarmed all over Erik's pajama clad torso, seeking the warmest, most comfortable spot as her master stared out the open window. The professor shivered as a gust of rain drenched air swept into the semi-dark room followed by one or two now homeless leaves; adding to his already bleak and depressed state of mind.

'Charles,' the man relaxing before him remarked, 'don't turn into a woman on me. Just say whatever you want to say or ask whatever it is on your mind to ask. I beg you.'

In response, the young man rattled the paper bag containing the medicine, using it as a shield until he could properly compose himself. Erik needed him. He couldn't add to his worries by falling apart now.

'Thanks,' Erik added softly, peeking into the bag to fish out the pills. Charles sat on the edge of the bed, reading the instruction pamphlet as the other man unscrewed the lid with a quick twist of the wrist.

'Maybe you should skip tonight,' the professor mumbled worriedly looking at the directions, 'you have alcohol in your system.'

He gaped in horror as Erik calmly proceeded to dry swallow a fistful of the prescribed tranquillizers.

'One of anything isn't going to do much for me tonight,' he explained as he tossed the container on top the side table before flopping down on his pillows.

'Erik!' the Englishman cried out anxiously.

'Don't start with me!' the older man snapped, covering his eyes with one arm as if to block out reality, 'so what was it you were going to say when you walked in? I could hear your big brain ticking away from here.'

'That is hardly important because now I have to go put on a pot of coffee.'

Erik looked across at him questioningly.

'Someone has to stay awake and make sure you don't slip into a coma!'

The grim look on the professor's face made the older man crack a faint smile, even as he turned over for a serious discussion, 'little one, I want you to sleep in your own room tonight.'

HA! He knew something was bothering Charles even though he was trying to cover it up.

'It's not what you are thinking,' he added hastily, 'I just don't want you ringside when I have the mother of all nightmares tonight.'

The professor looked down as Erik laced his fingers through his. How could the older man be worrying about him at a time like this? He really was the most wonderful, most thoughtful boyfriend!

'I want to stay. I could wake you up as soon as I see your nightmare coming.'

He scowled as Erik rolled on to his back with a bellow of raucous laughter, 'Oh please! Charles you would sleep through an invasion. You have to be the heaviest sleeper I have ever met.'

As Erik continued to laugh hysterically like a convulsing hyena, the smaller man closed his eyes to at least lessen the irritation that he now felt.

'Thanks, I really needed that' the older man added as he finally settled down, 'you are better than any drugs a doctor could prescribe.'

It was a strange sort of compliment but it was enough to give Charles a flutter of pleasure that he was of such importance to the other man.

'How are you tonight, little one?' Erik then asked solemnly. He tucked the small man underneath him as he propped up his head on one arm. 'I am worried about you. I am concerned about how all of this is affecting you.'

'Me?' the professor stammered, 'I am not the one with PSTD with its jolly list of attendant neuroses.'

Erik shrugged, 'I've learnt to live with it. For me, this is normal. I suppose you have a thousand and one questions for me now.'

'Nothing that can't wait,' was the calm reply.

Erik looked relieved if not a bit unsure at this turn of events. 'That isn't reverse psychology you are using on me, is it? If I just curl up and try and get to some rest now, are you going to make me suffer in the morning?'

Now Charles had to smile, 'you look adorable when you are so anxious.'

Naturally, the older man winced at such a sickening description, 'Good god, Xavier! Teddy bears are adorable! Don't EVER call me that if people are around! Are you sure you are alright? Is there anything you want to tell me?'

Their eyes automatically connected and Erik felt his heart turn to ice as the professor quickly averted his gaze.

'I keep waiting for you to run screaming from me,' the older man remarked quietly, as he ran his fingers soothingly through the professor's soft hair, 'I keep waiting for you to realize, that this is just too much to handle.'

'I'm afraid Erik,' Charles whispered as he stared at some random spot on the wall opposite. 'I am afraid for us. I know you are leaning on me right now… but what if my strength doesn't hold? What if IT IS too much to handle?'

As the older man lay paralyzed in shock at this confession, the professor felt he was being hugged by a piece of stone. Of late, Erik had been frequently wondering if Charles would have wanted to be his lover, if he was aware of all the sordid details of his earlier life.

'You can change your mind about being with me if you want,' Erik replied in a hollow voice, 'I would understand.'

A moment that seemed to coalesce into a lifetime passed as Charles considered. Because of Counselor Elaine's analysis that night, it was a thought that had crossed the professor's mind but he didn't think he would have to face it so soon.

Part of him was confused by how they had gotten on this topic. How did being concerned about their future translate into wanting to break up? But he escaped by neatly volleying the question back into Erik's court. 'Is that what you want? Do you want to be out of the relationship?'

'No, I don't!' Erik retorted angrily

'Well neither do I!'

'Then why the fuck did you bring this up?!' was the older man's infuriated response.

Charles didn't think it would go down well if he pointed out that it was Erik who had brought this topic up first. 'Would it matter to you, if you were in or out of this relationship?'

Their eyes connected again angrily and this time, neither looked away.

'Of course it would matter to me! I was ready to KILL someone when you went out with McCoy last night!'

The professor sighed in resignation as he pulled off his socks and shoes.

'Erik, that's jealously,' he explained serenely, 'you don't want me with anyone is not the same as you wanting to be with me.'

As the older man sat up and took over the task of getting Charles out of his clothes, he silently contemplated the professor's question. He smirked absently as the professor jumped a bit in surprise when he pulled off the other man's boxers and pants in one easy motion. Charles was a grown man, how could he be this shy?

Quickly Erik wrapped the man in a corner of blanket so that he would be more at ease while the cat howled piteously to having been pushed out of her warm spot.

'I've been on my own for a very long time Charles, so no, it doesn't matter to me if I am 'in or out' as you put it,' he started hesitantly, hoping that his attempt to be truthful wouldn't blow up his face. 'But just know that I like being with you. ALOT! If it's possible for someone as messed up as me to feel 'happy', I believe I feel it most when I am with you. My mind…it works….differently when you are close.'

He was startled when Charles flipped him over on his back, to settle him into a warm but tender kiss.

'This is nice,' the older man hummed appreciatively, with a curious look in his direction. He didn't think what he had been trying to say was particularly romantic, but Charles obviously saw things differently.

The professor sat up on his chest, titling his head to one side to look down at him in pleasure. 'I just wish you always knew yourself as well as you did in that moment.'

Erik arched a curious eyebrow even as he reached up to unbutton the professor's shirt. The small man remained silent as he worked his way down and as his knuckles lightly brushed against the man's warm skin, the professor's eyes fluttered close.

Charles silently acknowledged to himself then, that there was a real possibility that he would die of sheer pleasure when they eventually made love.

The older man then surprised him by slowly opening each end of his shirt, as if he was unwrapping a wonderful gift. Erik took his time to look his full, the lovely effect of which was spoilt, when the man suddenly let out a such a wide yawn that he had to cover his face lest he swallow the professor by accident. He blinked sleepily up at him and Charles knew that the drugs were starting to make their presence felt.

'Wait a minute…why do I always have to be the one naked?'

'Because that's the way I like you,' Erik mumbled flippantly. By now, successive yawns were crippling the older man, but he still managed to twist to one side so that the professor could help him get his pajamas off. With a great, unguarded sign of contentment he wrapped the smaller man in his arms. Even as the scholar propped himself on one arm, indicated that he wanted to chat a bit more, he took the opportunity to caress the smooth bare skin of the other man's back under his fingers. He wished now that he wasn't so sleepy but he consoled himself that there would be other nights in which to fully appreciate the warm bundle in his arms.

'Erik, I am so sorry that you had to have had such a terrible experience.'

The older man had such a far away look on his face, that the professor instantly regretted his words.

'Thank you for saying that,' he whispered in between soft kisses and yawns, 'and I appreciate your company tonight. I still don't want you to stay but I think that you have more than earned the right to decide for yourself. I'll never be able to thank you enough for the courage and compassion you have shown. '

The small man pressed his fingers against the man's lips, attempting to silence him so that he would edge closer towards sleep, but Erik caught the fingers in his hand determined to have his say.

'And I am not worried at all because I know you. You don't give yourself enough credit. You are far stronger than you realize. You and I are going to be alright.'

Charles smiled in exasperation, 'Your little speech of encouragement would have a greater impact if you were not fondling my ass.'

'You know you like it,' Erik whispered back confidently, even as he lost his mental footing and slipped off a cliff into darkness.


	45. Happy Holidays part1

**Anote**: I am feeling a little blue but excited all at the same time, as I see the number of story post-its has shrunk to just five more chapters. I have cut out some things, like giving too many details about Erik's war experiences and i will mention it only in backstory. I think there is enough violence going on right now in the world, to warrant me writing about it in a fiction story.

I hope you have enjoyed this story as much as I have enjoyed writing it.

Chapter 45- **Happy Holidays part1**

Sensing movement at the doors, Erik glanced towards the opening but was once again disappointed when a customer straggled in, drawn in no doubt by the bookstore's early bird Christmas specials.

Charles had gone off to work this morning, after unexpectedly announcing that he was going to take the month of December off. Erik was all in favor of this because the professor was working himself to the bone on some charity something something. Between that, and his lectures at the university and tutoring Erik in the evening not to mention the fact that they were now keeping each other awake half the night, things were getting a bit hairy.

He eagerly looked across again but it was only another enthusiastic Christmas shopper. Maybe Charles' Head of the department couldn't get him the time off. He didn't know why the Englishman bothered to ask. He could just quit. It's not like they needed the money.

'So what's her name?' was the friendly query that came from above.

Startled, Erik glanced up at his co-worker, who was on top of the ladder unpinning a large floating pumpkin shape. Being the two tallest workers, they naturally seem to get the decorating detail, every time there was a major holiday event.

He liked Darwin. The man was mature for his age and didn't feel the need to prattle on continuously, unlike some of his other counterparts.

'Sorry?' he asked blankly as he passed up a string of lights, 'Who?'

'Erik, I have known you for what…five months? And all of a sudden you are humming in the aisles and smiling at customers, and now you are going to get whiplash trying to see who is coming through the door; all the signs of a new romance. Good for you! Is she coming by this morning?'

Erik gripped the ladder a littler tighter than he needed to. Well this was embarrassing! He didn't like having his personal business out in the open like this. Did everyone know?

'I don't know what you are talking about,' he proceeded to protest.

Darwin smirked gleeful as Erik whipped around to check the doorway again. He didn't know why the other man was denying it, as the evidence was written all over his face. And it wasn't like anyone else would tease or make facetious remarks, because Erik's personality didn't invite such office camaraderie.

Erik glanced at him ruefully when he realized what he had done.

'And just the other day I told HIM, that it didn't matter if I was 'in and out' of this relationship. Thankfully, he isn't the type to rub my stupidity in my face,' Erik confessed quietly.

The black man nodded his head, pleased that he had been taken into the older man's confidence. He wanted to ask if it was anyone he knew, because he had seen Erik with one of two men in the past but he thought that might be pushing his luck. In any case, the mysterious 'he' would soon be making an appearance. Silence descended between them once again, as they both quietly enjoyed the light Monday morning traffic in the store, mixed in with the tasteful carols being piped through the music system. Darwin kept his face carefully averted, as the other man absently started to hum along to 'Joy to the world,' even as Erik pulled out his cell phone just in case he had missed any messages. Sadly the man fingered the blank screen before slipping it back into his pocket.

He and the professor had had a busy couple of weeks, even though what they were now, was no different from what they were before, only more so.

Their first hurdle as a couple in the form of the blood test had been successfully overcome, and they had gone home and immediately 'celebrated'. Celebrated was Charles' word, not his. He didn't know why the professor couldn't admit that they fucked until they couldn't stand up. But after a couple of days he began to see why the small man refused to describe it like that. Truthfully, it wasn't the best sex he had ever had, but Charles was his best friend, and even someone as jaded as him, began to pick up on the subtle nuances of how different it was to be sleeping with such a partner. Just knowing that Charles was delighted, every time Erik simply inhaled and exhaled, began to thaw out corners in the older man's mind and heart, that he didn't know had been frozen over.

'It's a really nice day, isn't it?' he asked Darwin out of the blue.

'Uh huh,' the dark man agreed with a knowing smile. From his vantage point, he could see the doorway better than Erik and he was first to notice a couple approaching; one with a familiar face that he usually associated with Erik. Darwin hoped this was the guy that his work colleague was with. Couples that were friends before made for the very best relationships.

He wasn't disappointed because as the newcomer called out to his co-worker, Erik's face broke out in one of his rare smiles.

All of that changed when the older man turned around.

'WHY ARE YOU HERE?!' he bellowed angrily, moving forward in a rush. Dismayed by this sudden turn of events, Darwin quickly scrambled down the ladder to intervene if needed. However, the professor seemed to have everything in order, as he knocked away Erik's hand that had been previously impolitely pointing into Emma's surprised face.

'I didn't ask her to come here!' he stated emphatically to the professor, willing Charles to believe him with every ounce of his being.

The man quietly shushed him as he folded the tall man in a gentle hug, 'I picked her up from the side of the road.'

As Erik squawked in disbelief, Charles quickly realized that he could have phrased that better.

'Steady on, old chap,' he interjected hastily, 'Ms. Frost was having car trouble and I brought her here to wait for a cab. It's freezing out there.'

Erik rolled his eyes in aggravation. Why did he have to bring her here?! The small man had almost given him a heart attack!

'Emma has been very kindly trying to explain mutual funds to me again because fortunately, she doesn't mind that I am a complete dunce when it comes to numbers. We were going to find some hot chocolate; do you want to come along?

'Like hell you are!' Erik retorted rudely, 'I absolutely forbid you to…'

A gentle cough of warning from the step ladder made him reconsider his words.

'That's alright,' Emma remarked sharply, 'I should get going. Thank you for your rescue Professor. I'll see you on the 23rd.'

She and Erik exchanged hostile stares before she glided out the store, followed by the admiring glance of every male, both young and old. However, before vanishing from sight, the blonde turned and shared a shy, but cheerful wave goodbye with the professor.

'What the fuck was that all about?!' Erik spat out in annoyance, even as Charles bestowed a withering glance of scorn on him. The professor then continued to ignore his presence as he turned to smile affably at the dark skinned man, who had helped to calm the tense conversation.

'Charles this is Darwin,' the older man introduced them grimly, 'Darwin, this is the man who I swear is trying to push all my buttons today!'

As he shook the man's outstretched hand, his co-worker grinned in understanding of the loving sentiments behind the antagonistic words. What he was really enjoying the most, was how Charles appeared to be as deaf as a post to his boyfriend's temper. Not only did it show that the young man had a very good understanding of Erik's personality, it was funny as hell to watch. 'Pleasure to meet you Charles. Erik, I am going to head down to the loading dock for another box of lights. Please excuse me.'

Erik could feel a vein throbbing in the side of his face, as Charles stared appreciatively at Darwin's graceful walk.

'You really are trying to kill me today, aren't you?' the older man whispered in a tight voice.

The professor jumped guilty and then smiled in apology when he realized he had been staring at another man. He leaned forward to place a light kiss on Erik's lips, 'Sorry…tall and lean is my body type; as you very well know.'

'WHY, did you invite Frost to your charity event?!'

'And why shouldn't I?' Charles inquired a bit tartly. He felt no desire to explain himself, to someone who was being so bossy and just so damned annoying!

The older man glowered at him, as he swarmed up the ladder to pick up from where he and Darwin left off. Charles pulled gently at the string of lights, attempting to keep it from getting tangled, as his boyfriend tacked it up to the ceiling. He frowned sadly as the silence grew heavy between them.

'I couldn't leave her there,' Charles finally offered, as the older man still refused to look down at him.

Erik exhaled noisily as he glanced down at the pair of beautiful blue eyes below him. 'I don't know what you think you are doing but be careful, she is not all that she seems. If you allow yourself to get hurt, I swear I will never forgive you!'

'I know she's not all that she appears. I can feel the darkness radiating off her in waves; the fear and self loathing under that pretty exterior.'

The older man knew he shouldn't be surprised at the smaller man's insight giving all that they had been through together, but he was. He thought for sure, that Charles had been sucked in by the polished, wealthy façade she projected to the world.

'So why then?' he asked in genuine curiosity. 'Why risk exposing yourself to something like that?'

'When I stopped at the roadside, three other men had already pulled up on the pretense of helping her. You should have seen the shock on her face, when I got out and tried to get her car to start. And then when that wouldn't work, it's my car she chose to get into, not any of those guys who were clearly interested in her.'

The older man looked skeptical.

'You think she only talked to me because of my money?'

'Well, that's why I talk to you,' Erik admitted cheekily with a smirk.

'I hope that's not it,' the professor added worriedly, ignoring Erik's little joke in his preoccupation with the matter. 'I really felt as though I touched something long forgotten inside of her.'

Charles fidgeted from side to side as his lover stared at him contemplatively. Why did he have to explain his actions to Erik? This was such a central core to his personality; didn't the older man know him at all?

'If you had sent me a little text message warning, I wouldn't have reacted like that,' Erik remarked dryly as he climbed down the steps, 'however, if she says something, or does ANYTHING to make you uncomfortable, you are to call me immediately!'

Charles nodded his head vigorously in agreement. It was why he had brought her to Erik's work in the first place. He wasn't a complete moron!

He smiled happily as Erik tilted his head back to kiss him swiftly but deeply, 'but tell me something little one, you wouldn't try this tactic on a person like Shaw would you?'

'Of course not! Didn't you say Shaw shot your mum in the head?! He's a raving psychopath!' Charles said in a matter-of-fact voice, gawking at Erik as if he was crazy for even making the suggestion.

'There is a god,' Erik mumbled sarcastically under his breath, as he picked up the ladder to move it to the next spot.

'Still, Erik in the future I would prefer that you NOT use the words 'I absolutely forbid you,' when addressing me.'

As the scholar stared him down with a determination that seemed to spring up most unexpectedly and inconveniently at times, Erik had to fight the urge to look away.

'I am not going to apologise, so don't hold your breath!' he answered testily, 'If I think you are heading into trouble, I am going to do whatever needs to be done, regardless of your feelings.'

The professor smiled faintly, knowing the truth in his heart of hearts, 'and I love you too.'


	46. Happy Holidays part2

Chapter 46 - **Happy Holidays part2**

As Erik turned around with the trays of their food balanced in his hands, it suddenly dawned on him that perhaps this wasn't the best place to bring someone of Charles' social standing.

He had managed to secure a window seat for them, before leaving the small man to hold the table in the packed lunch time crowd. From his vantage point, the professor was busy cleaning up some spilt sauce with a napkin, before emptying an overflowing cigarette tray into a nearby dustbin like a seasoned pro. What was most striking though, was how dwarfed the other man looked when compared with the carpenters, dockworkers and other laborers sitting around him.

Erik placed the trays of sizzling, fresh caught shrimp and thick cut fries before the professor and then went back for their drinks, before sliding into the plastic chair opposite.

'The guy who sells here has his own fishing boat,' Erik remarked, as way of explanation as to why he had brought Charles to this small shack of a restaurant on the docks.

The professor leaned over and inhaled deeply of his lunch before sliding a napkin on his lap, 'I can tell.'

Erik watched with a surprised grin as the small man dug in with his fingers, not even bothering with the plastic forks and spoons on his tray. At times like this, it was hard to believe that Charles was a multimillionaire and he hoped that the professor would always stay this sweet and unspoiled. Before his amazed eyes, the academic then proceeded to polish off half his shrimps before coming up for air; a performance which caught the attention of the table opposite. Charles flushed with pride as four huge, hulking engineers, decked out in greasy and stained blue overalls, gave him a big cheer and tapped their mugs of light beer with him.

'I can't take you anywhere, you rowdy drunk!' Erik teased him quietly under his breath.

Charles laughed happily and then dropped his eyes to his lover's untouched food. Without a word, Erik scraped half the contents into the professor's plate. He was so happy to see the man eat this much that he would be having words with the captain at a later date. The chef/boat captain didn't normally do take out orders but if he explained the situation of Charles' poor eating habits, he was sure the big hearted man would make an exception.

'So, why do you have to go into the university on Saturdays?' he asked the small man, gesturing with the fry he had just picked up.

Charles took a swig of his beer before answering, 'My final years. I can't desert them so close to examinations. But other that, you can have me every day.'

Feeling a sudden loss of appetite, Erik grabbed a napkin. What was Charles talking about? He had only one day a week off and being the new guy meant he didn't have the luxury of time off or even vacation days. 'Unless you are planning on purchasing the bookstore, I don't know where you are going with this.'

Charles sat up suddenly with an expression that clearly said he had never thought of that before. 'Do you want me to buy the store for you?'

Erik snorted in amusement even as he reached under the table to give him a quick squeeze, 'No Charles, although I would love to see my manager's face if you did that. Thanks, that offer made my day.'

Charles chewed contemplatively, 'But now I am thinking that your troublesome manager will start a row, if I am sitting in your section all day long.'

The older man frowned, because it was obvious that the professor's big brain was on a different train track all together.

Misinterpreting Erik's silence, the small man hunched into himself, 'I can go sit in other sections. I won't be a bother.'

'You will SIT in my section so I can enjoy your presence!' Erik countered sharply, 'you misunderstand me. I didn't know that this was your plan. I had hoped there would be some extra time for me, with all the days you have taken, but I didn't imagine anything like this! We have wireless access so you can bring your laptop and so on.'

The older man frowned again, as Charles started to listlessly push his food around. He was on verge on changing the topic before the professor lost his appetite entirely, when the small man dropped his shrimp and looked at him determinedly, 'Just so that you know, I took this vacation so I could spend whatever remaining time that you have on your parole with you.'

As Erik struggled to formulate a response, he absently pounded out a sinister rhythm with his glass of iced tea. 'Charles what do you think is going to happen here? You think the day after my parole expires, I am just going to pack and up leave!'

The professor averted his eyes, a clear indication that Erik's voice was getting into an uncomfortable decibel range, 'I don't even remember what the exact day is anymore!'

'It's the same day as the charity event, oddly enough,' the Englishman mumbled quietly.

Erik was so annoyed that he had to look away. 'God dammit, what do you want from me Charles!? WHAT!?'

Naturally, Charles' engineering fan club looked over in concern at their raised voice, but the professor waved them off with a forced smile while Erik looked mulish and unrepentant.

'First off, please don't raise your voice at me,' the small man requested, 'Erik, what am I to think? Counselor Elaine called; she said that you didn't keep your appointment with the specialist. So, essentially you are the same person that I met so long ago; the same person who is marking time, until their parole is over to go … to go do whatever they were doing before.'

Erik leaned back in his seat regarding the man with stony eyes. The professor saw this, and even though he knew from previous experience that an offensive attack wasn't the best strategy to use on the man infront of him, he still pressed on. Hopefully when Erik got up and stalked off in rage, some of what he had said would stick in his head and permeate that concrete skull of his.

'So I just wanted to be around to talk to you, to make sure I had enough time to make an intelligent and persuasive case for you to stay. For instance, my board of directors is trying to get me involved with some Asian consortium. I have the summary of the investment here that they want me to sign off on, but it might as well be in Greek.'

The professor was cheered when Erik leaned forward to take the document that he held out to him. 'If you stay, I am offering you complete control over this, and from it you will generate your own salary. You will not have to report to anyone. I don't imagine that you want to be still working in the bookstore come January.'

Erik was about to speak but Charles cut him off with a wave of his hands, wanting control of the floor for as long as possible. 'I talked to Gerard about taking you for a trip out of state for a real vacation but I am afraid that was a no. So in lieu of that I, I bought you that car I know you wanted. It's in my name for now, but I will make it over to you as soon as the New Year begins.'

As the small man pushed the key chain over the table top, Erik's eyes widened at the sight of the familiar wing shaped Ashton martin design.

'Of course, there will be plenty sex too.'

Erik put his elbows on the table and buried his face in his hands with a loud groan of despair. 'CHARLES! I know you want me to stay. I don't know what I ever did to give you the impression that you needed to do all of this!'

As the silence stretched on, the older man raised his head. Charles still looked unhappy and unconvinced and as Erik reached over to try and take his hand, the professor pulled away.

'I am doing all of this because I want you to choose me over Shaw,' the man whispered desperately.

'What the fuck?!' Erik exclaimed in horror, 'you are not seriously comparing yourself to that animal?!'

'No, but I am comparing the hold I have on you with the vendetta you have against him.'

'He killed my mother!' Erik hissed at him.

'I know that, but if you are going to continue to live your life for him, as hard as this is for me to say, it might have been better if he had shot you too, all those years ago.'

Erik narrowed his eyes at the young man infront of him. If he had known that one blown appointment was going to cause all of this fuss, he would have camped out infront of the specialists' office.'

'You need to calm down little one. You are getting yourself worked up for nothing. I am not deliberately dodging the new doctor. Well…I guess I am, but not for the reason that you think.'

This time when he leaned over, he made sure to take hold of the small man's hand in his, 'I don't know what is going to happen with this doctor. What I do know is that I like my life right now. I like my life with you. This is the best December I can remember in a long time and I just want to enjoy it for awhile longer.'

Erik leaned over and trailed the tips of his fingers down the side of Charles' cheek and across his lips, 'You know I am not much for talking about this kind of thing, but you must not underestimate the strength of the hold you have over me. Counselor Elaine is right about many things, but not this. She could not be more wrong. '

With an uncontrollably and delightful shiver, the professor felt the intensity of his lover's caress, all the way down to his toes and in all the spaces in between. This was certainly a day for romantic declarations! First, Erik growled at him in the bookstore, stating that he would do whatever it took to keep him safe and now this! The academic blinked, taken aback by his passionate words. Coming from Erik, who used one word when another person would use twenty, this was a virtual speech. It hit him then, like the proverbial pan in the face, that Erik was most definitely NOT the same man he was before. He was by no means a different person, but the rough edges were starting to smooth out a bit; a natural consequence to not being so alone in the world anymore.

'I think I know you so well but sometimes…' the professor commented briefly, not wanting to make too much of a fuss and fluster his boyfriend into a moody silence. Erik gave him a satisfied smirk as he perused the financial document infront of him, 'I'm complicated.'

'But you will go to the doctor in the New Year?' Charles pressed determinedly, even as the older man's nostrils flared dangerously in warning.

'You can even drive me if you want,' he replied flatly, not looking up.

'But what about till then? What if something happens to you in that space of time?!' Charles ruminated with increasing panic in his voice. 'My love, I don't have the training to help you in an emergency.'

Erik hurriedly squeezed the professor's hand to reassure him, 'The likelihood of Shaw crossing the road at this exact moment is like a million to one, therefore, there will BE no emergency. So you can just go ahead and unclench everything.'

In the interim, the larger man drew the car keys happily towards him. 'What color did you get? The interest rates on this investment are highly suspicious. It would be better if you decline and further more report it to the authorities. If your Board thinks this is a good investment, they need to have their head examined. But if you don't mind, right now, I would like to discuss the 'plenty of sex' proposal.'

As the academic frowned and opened his mouth to say something else, Erik leaned over the table to kiss him soundly on the lips, 'Thank you Charles for this. No one has ever offered to buy me before.'

'You're welcome,' the young man replied automatically, beginning to feel vaguely embarrassed as he now realized that his actions could be construed as such. Fortunately, Erik seemed utterly charmed by the very idea.

'George look, there's a faggot over there!' a raucous voice cut across the crowd.

Charles flinched but other than that gave no reaction to have being called out. Erik on the other hand growled, and immediately turned his head to identify their hecklers.

'Leave it Erik. There are two of them,' the professor warned, as the men laughed loudly at what they believed to be a clever joke. 'Defending me in a bar is one thing; deliberately starting a brawl is another.'

However, this turn-the-other-cheek approach wasn't acceptable to Charles' engineering buddies, and the four men stood as one. Together, they dragged the uncouth pair outside where they proceeded to gleefully swing one man into an open dumpster while unanimously, they decided to fold the next in half, in order to better stuff him into a public, rubbish receptacle on the pavement. The crowd in the diner applauded to show their approval of such action, which then doubled in volume as Charles waved his credit card at the owner, in the universal gesture to indicate that he would pay for all the patrons.

'Should we do something?' Erik asked unsurely, pointing to the semi violent tableau outside, even as the small man calmly resumed eating as if nothing had happened.

'No, not at all. I think my new friends have everything well in hand, don't you think?'

As Erik intently studied the man beside him, the professor leaned over with his plastic fork and stole all the remaining shrimps off his plate.

'I always believed you to have a pacifist nature,' Erik remarked thoughtfully, 'but I think deep down, you really enjoyed what just happened.'

The professor winked impudently at him, 'I'm complicated.'


	47. Tis the season part1

**Anote:** My muse has laughed at me and says I am such a chicken when it comes to sex scenes. I am sticking my tongue out at you Ruth. If it was so easy to write, let me see you do it!

Chapter 47 – **'Tis the season part1**

Charles furiously ripped off his jacket and threw it in the general direction of the bed. He swore as the garment fell short and crumpled in a heap. The young man knew it was childish of him but he felt the strong desire to kick something. Just to satisfy the urge, he picked up a pillow and threw it across the room as hard as he could.

He grinned sheepishly when he realized that Erik was seated in a little alcove, silently taking in his performance.

'Hi!'

Erik shook his head as he closed his study text books that were surrounding him in piles, 'Are you alright? Why did you turn off your cell phone?'

Charles went over and retrieved the pillow, 'Sorry, I had a dreadful meeting. I don't really want to talk about it.'

'Another one of the sponsors for the charity has dropped out?' the older man correctly deduced. It took a lot to set Xavier off and he knew the stress of organising this event was beginning to fray the usual serene temper of the professor. It didn't help matters that he knew Charles was still apprehensive about what was going to happen at the end of his parole. 'It's alright. I would want to destroy furniture too. Toss another pillow if it helps.'

Instead the young man proceeded to rip of his tie as his boyfriend looked on sympathetically.

'The Christmas sprit is alive and well,' Charles commented sarcastically, referring obliquely to his just concluded meeting. 'Why were you calling? Did you need something?'

Erik looked doubtfully over the top of his dictionary, clearly trying to figure out if this was a good time or not to speak.

'I was supposed to pick you up and we were going for Matt at the prison.'

Charles grabbed the back of a chair in horror. 'THAT WAS TODAY?! Your friend Matt was released today?! I forgot!'

The academic groaned and leaned against a nearby wall, 'He's probably on the plane already. I can't believe I missed him!'

'Actually he's not. He's in my old room downstairs. I just told him that you were up to your eyebrows in party preparations and he volunteered to stay and help. '

Erik looked across affectionately at the other man. Matt had informed him that unbeknownst to him; Charles had regularly called him up at the prison and even sent him care packages of cigarettes, chocolates, toilet items and other assorted goodies. 'I am of the opinion that he would be the president of your fan club if you had one.'

The man grinned slightly at this bit of teasing and resumed undressing. It pleased him greatly that Erik felt comfortable enough to invite someone to the house without feeling the need to check with him first. 'I am glad he is here even though I know how eager he is to reconnect with his brothers at home.'

He kicked off his shoes and socks and then proceeded to undo his belt, 'I was about to tell you to remind me to make sure I rebook his plane ticket, but maybe you should do it. My brain feels like a fried egg. I am thinking that it will be better to move the reception right here, just to cut down overhead. How do you feel about being a waiter for the night?'

The man looked up as his boyfriend didn't answer, 'Dearest?'

'Sorry,' Erik mumbled apologetic, 'if you said anything after you pulled off your pants, I didn't hear you.'

Abruptly he realized that the older man had made no move to come across to the bed. This was unusual because Erik had truly taken the 'plenty of sex' idea to heart and more times than not, he would tackle him as soon as he reached home; making up for lost time it would seem.

'Are you feeling unwell?' Charles asked anxiously, starting to feel a little cold to be standing there in the nude while they carried on a conversation.

The man shook his head, still seemingly at a loss for words.

'Well,' Charles gestured towards the bed, 'Why don't you come over here and keep me company?'

'What do you have in mind?' Erik croaked out, apparently paralyzed in his chair for no good reason.

Charles frowned at this stupid question and then shyly smiled in understanding. He didn't by any stretch of the imagination, think he was THAT attractive but at times, he forgot that Erik thought he was. Instead of responding he walked backwards to the bed, never taking his eyes off Erik's face. The older man's jaw slowly dropped open in shock, as the young man sprawled against the headboards and spread his legs invitingly like a cheap whore.

Erik needed no further encouragement as he sent his school books flying in his attempt to get across the room faster.

'If people ONLY knew the real you,' the older man hissed, as he did his best to pull off his pants and his shirt simultaneously, which really wasn't possible with just one pair of hands.

Charles folded his arms across his chest with a knowing smirk, enjoying the frantic strip show, 'I don't have the foggiest idea what you mean!'

'Are you going to lend me a hand here or NOT?!' Erik roared at him in frustration.

Obligingly, the professor sat up to help him get out of his clothes but then suddenly seemed to have a change of heart. Erik gasped as the small man pulled him out of the slit in his shorts and inserted him straight into his mouth.

'God dammit, be careful!' Erik yelled again,'That's not a lollipop!'

However, Charles seemed to disagree completely with this statement and his murmur of protest sent such a wave of sensation straight up his cock, that Erik had to grab hold of the bed and one of Charles' shoulders, just to keep upright.

Very carefully, the small man tugged on the loops of his belt, nudging him to follow his lead. They had been together long enough for Erik to know what he wanted and he pulled out long enough to let Charles settle comfortably back on the pillows. He then climbed on top the small man and slowly slid back into the heat of the professor's mouth, balancing his weight on the headboards again as they quickly settled into an easy rhythm of sucks and thrusts. Erik kept a careful eye on what he was doing, so as to not cause the young man any undue discomfort but it was near damned near impossible to focus, whenever Charles used his clever little mouth with such devastating intent.

He knew he was pushing too hard now as Charles gagged, but it would be far easier to stop breathing than to slow down now. Erik commanded his body to obey him, pulling out slightly; the effort of which temporarily robbed him of breath. As a reward for his Herculean labors, Erik watched with possessive pride as he emptied himself into Charles' mouth. Erik stroked the side of his face encouragingly, as the young man swallowed. 'There's a good boy,' Erik whispered hotly to show his appreciation and pleasure at the man's skill.

Finally, feeling completely happy but drained of energy, he rolled on to his back with a stupid giggle, not really minding that he had half his clothes on and half off. He somehow managed to summon up the energy to assist the professor in stripping him of his remaining clothes, all the while staring hungrily at the Englishman's erection. However, the academic nimbly skipped out of reach when he lunged for him.

'If it's alright with you, I am going to put you on your stomach now.'

Erik sighed ever so softly as he nodded his consent. He was sorry that he had ever told the professor that he didn't particularly favor this position because now Charles took to asking his permission each and every time. No one had ever bothered to ask if there was something he didn't like doing.

'Charles, it's fine,' he insisted again as the small man inserted a few pillows under him, 'As I have explained to you before, it's just unnerving to have someone behind me out of my line of sight. Don't take it personally.'

'We could put a mirror in here if you want,' the professor suggested as he gently eased a slicked finger inside him.

Erik eyes popped open at that provocative suggestion, 'Ha! You just want to look at yourself. I always knew you had some kink in you! You don't have to hide anything with me.'

Charles knew him too well to take a nibble at that verbal bait. When he put his mind to it, Erik could charm a rattlesnake into doing sit-ups.

As another finger joined the first, Erik groaned appreciatively opening his legs a bit wider to enjoy the intimate massage.

'That feels really good. You don't mind if I just lay here and let you do all the work, do you?' Erik mumbled mindlessly, 'I swear this holiday season is going to kill me. My customers nearly ran me off my feet this morning.'

The professor hummed conversationally to let him know he was listening.

'This one little old lady wanted to buy one of the bookshelves and I kept telling her that we sell books not furniture. I thought she was going to hit me with her gigantic handbag for being insolent.'

Suddenly Erik sensed something was not quite right and he whipped around quickly. Charles was sitting back, panting quietly as he struggled to hold on to his erection for a bit longer. With a few quick pumps of his wrist Erik put him out of his misery, laying him down gently on the mattress when he was done. He then ducked into the bathroom for a rag and some warm water which he then used to sponge the young man dry.

'I did not time that properly at all,' the professor admitted with a groan, when he had eventually regained his breath. 'Bloody hell, can't anything go right today?!'

The young scholar hastily placed a reassuring palm against his boyfriend's bare chest, 'That is not directed at you, my friend. You are a blessing in my life, you know that right?'

'I know. Words fail to describe how wonderful I am,' Erik agreed in an amused voice, as he raised Charles' head off the pillow to offer him a sip of cool water.

With another murmur of thanks, the young man threw his arm across his face to cover his eyes, 'Just give me a minute and I will make love to you again'

The older man looked playfully at his watch, 'I'll give you two minutes."

He smiled as Erik yawned and propped himself up on one arm alongside him. 'I don't mind being a waiter at your charity event.'

One blue eye peeked out at him, 'And you are sure you are alright with me taking Jean as my 'date'?'

Erik rolled his eyes, 'I was fine with it the first time you asked, and I am still fine with it now. Now if you told me you were taking Logan, then we would have words.'

As he absently caressed the outer thigh of the heavy leg that Erik had thrown across his waist, the professor sighed with relief. 'Thanks for being such a good sport about this. I've hosted events with boyfriends in the past but I don't do it anymore. For some reason, the media follows us around and splashes us across the society page in the morning; as if me being gay is something newsworthy that needs to be reported on.'

Erik didn't respond as the vagaries of the American public still eluded his understanding.

'Speaking about John, you will need to help me keep an eye on him. Last time we had a large event here, someone trampled one of the seedling beds. He was so annoyed that I really did think he was going to arbitrarily pick out a guest and murder them.'

Quickly, the older man leaned over and kissed him into silence. He could clearly hear the strain returning in the Englishman's voice as he talked about the charity function.

'Little one,' he said softly, 'the event is going to be wonderful. You need to calm down. Matt, McCoy and I will be there to help no matter what it is; waiting tables, folding napkins, putting Logan in a headlock…whatever you need. You have your whole staff behind you, you have all your friends at the university, and you have all your neighbours.'

He slid down as the professor tugged on his arm. Contentedly settling in the crook of the man's neck below him, he smiled as Charles embraced him tightly.

'This feels so comfortable, right here, right now, with you,' Charles whispered lovingly, as he kissed the other man's dark hair. They were so close he could feel the movement of Erik's eyelashes on the column of his throat.

'Do you think sometimes when two people are always together,' Erik mused quietly, drawing random patterns on the man's chest with his fingertips, 'they can start projecting their thoughts in a fashion?'

'You mean like finishing each other sentences?'

'Something like that. When I was waiting outside the prison for Matt, I was thinking about you. About how you took my razor this morning and gave me a shave. I was thinking that it's not everyone I feel that comfortable around. Maybe you picked up on my earlier thoughts.'

He couldn't see Charles smile but he felt it through their embrace.

'I am sorry that you had to wait alone.'

Erik pressed a kiss to his cheek and then to his forehead before sitting up to massage the professor's chest, 'You are not listening to me. I wasn't alone. Although, I am not too sure if I like the fact that the voice in my head has suddenly picked up a British accent.'

Even as he laughed, the small man obediently took several deep breaths, trying to relax as his lover suggested.

'This is not working,' Charles announced, 'maybe you should just kiss me again?'

The older man smiled at the sparkle in the blue eyes below him, as the young man eagerly pulled him down for another kiss. The professor was right. This felt quite right. Instinctively it would seem their bodies started to open and shift and glide into a position for maximum skin on skin contact, as they spent some quality time kissing, exploring and just being with each other.

'Hang on a second,' Erik protested breaking the professor's passionate hold, 'I need to ask you something before you distract me again with that talented tongue of yours. What do you want for Christmas?'

Charles grinned hugely at the look of pain on Erik's face.

'Don't laugh,' the older man snapped, 'shopping for you is giving me a mansion sized headache! The mall is like a zoo and I am seriously scared of being trampled to death. If you don't give me some suggestions, I am about ready to glue some Popsicle sticks together.'

'That would be a perfectly splendid present,' the small man replied earnestly, 'Don't fall into the mistake of thinking just because I am rich that I don't like homemade. One of the nicest things I have received recently is one of my students making a ceramic apple for me, with the words 'No. 1 teacher!' on it.

Erik frowned in laughing confusion, 'that lump of red sitting on your desk is supposed to be an apple? I thought that was one of your genetic experiments gone haywire.'

He raised his hands in a gesture of surrender as Charles scowled at his laughter, 'I'm not artistic, so think of something else.'

'You haven't taken me out to dinner as yet,' the professor reminded him.

Erik had just opened his mouth to respond when their attention was caught by a knock at the door.

'Yes, who is it?' the professor sang out, having to pitch his voice to penetrate out into the living space and through the thick wooden door.

A tiny, hesitant voice responded, 'Hullo? I think I'm lost.'

'Matt! Are you alright?! Erik answered, rolling off of Charles and striding towards the door. 'What's wrong?'

'I was trying to find something to eat and I got turned around and then I was trying to find a way to get out of the house and I got even more lost. Thank goodness I found you again! Can I come in?'

'Um…I was just about to step in the shower,' Erik suggested, glancing back at Charles still sprawled enticingly on the sheets. He was half torn by panic and amusement at the present situation. This was like something out of a movie. He quickly rattled out the needed directions.

'There's a big pond outside. Can…can I go down to see it? Do you think it would be alright with Mr. Xavier if I walked around it?' Matt asked excitedly, as if he had never seen water before. However, being likewise imprisoned for a period of time, Erik could relate to that unusual level of excitement.

Erik looked back to exchange amused glances with said owner of the 'big pond' and for the second time today, he almost swallowed his tongue. The professor was causally resting against a stack of pillows, slowly but firmly stroking himself.

'You like water?!' Erik inquired with a surprised yelp, only belatedly remembering that Matt had asked him a question. He was going to kill Charles for this! He knew what this was. This was payback for the time he showed up unexpectedly in the middle of the day at the university, in order to cash in the 'all you can eat, oral sex' gift card, Charles had made for him.

'I'm from Arizona. DO you know how much rain falls there?' Matt asked him rhetorically.

A bead of sweat trickled down the side of Erik's face and he swallowed hard as he watched his lover's beautiful erection taking shape.

'That's great! Just great!' he replied distractedly as Charles rose to his knees, pinning him with a come- here-right-now stare, 'Unbelievable!'

Outside in the quiet corridor, Matt walked away scratching his dark hair perplexed. He knew Erik was a bit socially stunted but that conversation was just plain weird.


	48. Tis the season part2

**Anote:** Happy Christmas to all my readers

Chapter 48 –'**Tis the season part2**

Matt softly wolf whistled as Logan drove past in another Bentley, 'Man I wish I was out here parking cars with you guys.'

Erik glanced across from where he was recording the new car's position and right on cue his small comrade began sneezing his head off. 'That's why you are not out here helping us. You're a classic hot house flower. Get back inside where it's warmer.'

'Being a waiter is borrrrring!' the young man whined as he turned around and obediently trudged back to the ball room, where Charles' charity event was in full swing.

'And don't come back out here without a hat!' Erik yelled at his retreating back. He watched until the man walked through the French doors before uncovering Logan's Sig Sauer that he had hastily hidden, when Matt had bounced out for a cigarette break.

'Everything all right?' Logan asked as he approached their work station, staring at Matt as he was swallowed up by the crowd inside.

'You better take this,' Erik warned, passing him his weapon. While he appreciated that Logan didn't want the professor to catch him with the gun, he didn't want Charles to catch him with it either.

'I hear that congratulations are in order,' the big man rumbled as he tucked the piece into his jacket pocket.

Erik ignored the unstated question by asking one of his own, 'Do you think we should get any more latecomers? The party has been going on for an hour now.'

John gave him a smile that had more teeth than goodwill, 'you don't know these people. There will always be latecomers.'

The men lapsed into a bit of a tense silence as they stared up the dark and silent driveway, before the handyman lumbered away to a nearby snow bank. Erik stared blankly as the big man pulled out a six pack of now, ice cold beers, from under a rose bush.

'Take it,' John offered the man beside him, quickly opening two bottles with a flick of his wrist, 'Your parole's up in three hours. I hardly think it makes a difference.'

Erik hesitated but then reached out to gladly take the drink. He downed half of it in one go, before slumping over their workstation/podium with a satisfying groan, 'God, that's good!'

Sheepishly, he clinked his remaining half with Logan's full bottle, 'Sorry, I didn't see you holding out your beer.'

'Not a problem. Congratulations on making it to this point. Not sure if I could have done any better in your position.'

'I had strong motivation,' Erik muttered quietly, as he cut his eyes to a hedge of thick bushes that was blocking his view of most of the ball room; including that of the slight figure of his professor.

As Logan sipped his beer he watched where the man was looking at from the corner of his eye. 'Charles was also excitedly telling me that you past a heap of exams. He's bursting with pride that you nailed it!'

Erik picked at the label of his bottle contemplatively, while staring at the ground beneath him, 'Are you going somewhere with this John?'

The handyman nodded his head appreciatively. This was something he always valued about his employer's current boyfriend. He wasn't much for idle chit chat either.

'Hike up on the third bench over there,' he ordered Erik with a casual wave of his hand.

Erik was so used to the way the handyman changed conversations midstride that he didn't even blink at the odd request. With the additional inches, he could now see straight into the ball room through a convenient gap in the hedge. He couldn't help but smile as the professor unexpectedly came into view.

The two temporary valets/security guards stood side by side, drinking and silently taking in the stunningly beautiful scene before them. Everywhere there were lights, Christmas trees and garlands all decorated with the most beautiful decorations that Erik had ever seen. He could also spy Hank, Matt, and a whole host of Charles' students along with the rest of the mansion staff, weaving around the guests in their tailored white coats, bearing platters of drinks and foods. Off to one side, Parole Officer Gerard stood plastered against a wall, looking suspiciously at any of the fashionably well dressed party goers that happened to get too close. On another counter, Emma and Charles' next door neighbour Raven, were happily chatting up a storm as they manned the coat check section. But through it all, like a column of light, the professor with Jean at his side, walked through the crowd, touching everyone they spoke to with their brilliant presence.

Erik glanced at Logan and would have laughed at the completely besotted expression on the other man's face, if he was certain that he hadn't looked just like that a moment ago , 'if you want to go in for a few minutes, I am sure I can cover here.'

His voice seemed to break the spell that Logan was under.

'Nah...I am good,' he remarked gruffly, 'Still can't believe sometimes that she even looks at me twice.'

Erik nodded his head companionably. He knew exactly what the older man meant.

'I bet you never thought sitting in prison a few months ago, that you would have ever seen anything like this?' he inquired.

Not even in his most ludicrous of dreams.

'So what are your plans for the future?'

It was a casual enough question but Logan observed the man beside him go rigid like a post.

'Did Charles put you up to this?!'

The way Erik blocked the question made him snort in disbelief, 'you can't possibly be serious!? You would give all this up? What's so blasted important out there that you would want to leave a guy who is shit face in love with you?! People search all their lives for what you two have.'

The handyman gestured vigorously at the scene before them, 'This is just the tip of the iceberg you are seeing here. Charles' interests are global. Do you know how many thousands of people he helps with his fortune? You could be part of something special.'

Erik gave him a sidelong glance of suspicion at this sudden interest in his welfare, to which Logan rolled his eyes.

'Alright…I see Charles' frighteningly insightful nature is also starting to rub off on you,' the sometime chauffeur retorted, 'Fine…enough BS. There is a rumor going around that you have been sighting some suspicious investments that the Board wants to get Xavier tangled up in. I've had a bad feeling for years about them. I don't like the way they dress, the way they smell and I especially DON'T like the way they talk to the professor!'

'And what way is THAT?' Erik inquired sharply. 'Why the fuck is this the first time I am hearing about this?!'

'The Board knows he struggles with financial concepts and they completely demoralize him when he asks a question. The professor is as smart as a whip but I am not surprised that he has developed some sort of mental block against all this investment stuff. I know it bothers Charles because he gets all quiet after board meetings. I guess he didn't want you to know because of your parole conditions.'

That was true. Gerard had warned him to stay away from his old life or forfeit the chance to shave five years off his jail sentence.

'Let me know next time there is a meeting,' Erik requested in a soft deadly voice. 'I think I need to see this for myself.'

Logan sighed in relief, 'I will feel a lot happier if you are there; someone I can trust!'

Erik gave him a feeble sort of smile. He knew Logan's opinion mattered to the professor and although he never went out of his way to court the man's favor, he was pleased to have it all the same, 'You do remember what I was imprisoned for, right?'

The big man proceeded to crack his neck to release some of his tension. 'Yeah I remember but it's not like you are going to steal from the professor; not when he will just give you any amount you can name.'

A wave of depression suddenly swamped Erik, 'Charles seems to think that a few sessions with some doctor is going to fix everything. Pull this, snip out that and I will be as good as new.'

'It couldn't hurt to try,' Logan remarked cautiously, wondering where the man's mind had suddenly veered of to.

Erik turned to face his companion at his side. While he didn't naturally come out and speak about personal matter, he knew with deep clarity, that even though Logan didn't love Charles in the same way that he did, the man cared for him deeply and had been doing so for far longer than he had.

'I'll be alright for awhile but eventually I'll leave. There are forces in my life, impulses too strong to ignore. The last thing I want to do is hurt Charles but I fear it will be inevitable.'

'If you don't want to hurt Charles, then just don't.'

Erik closed his eyes in misery. It sounded so simple when Logan said it like that.

The handyman cleared his throat, 'Maybe its time you told me a little more about Shaw?'

In the deafening silence that followed, Erik's beer bottle slipped straight out his hand and hit the grass with a muffled thud.

'Don't get all excited,' John said sharply, handing him a fresh beer like a peace offering, 'Charles told me because I can help. I think you know I am ex-military.'

As Erik's eyes narrowed, Logan jumped right in before the situation could explode.

'I have a general idea of what's going on. There's a guy named Shaw and basically, the professor tells me that you don't think you can live with yourself if that guy is still out there breathing. So, I am to help you with logistics, weapons and back up, in the event that you do decide to go haring off after him, which I sincerely hope you don't. Charles doesn't have his head buried in the sand as much as you think he does.'

'Apparently not,' Erik agreed in a feeble mutter, a bit bowled over by this sudden turn of events. He had to remind himself that the professor trusted this man; and if he couldn't trust Charles then he couldn't trust anyone. 'Why would you help me?'

Logan snorted at such an obtuse question, 'Because it's my job to protect the professor and what matters most in the world to him and right now that includes you. And besides, you're one of us now. I understand a bit about revenge, you can talk to me.'

'You understand nothing,' Erik muttered under his breath, as he shakily drank the rest of his beverage from his new bottle.

'Perhaps you are right. I don't think there is a magical formula out there that can be applied like a rubber stamp on everyone, but I think that you need to put your own full stop on the shit that has gone on in your life.'

The handyman jumped down from the bench, forcefully dragging the other man down with him. He then grabbed the front of Erik's jacket to pull him forward for a more intimate discussion.

'But just to be clear,' he whispered threateningly in Erik's ear, 'if you leave here to follow this obsession you have with Shaw, you can't ever come back. I will not have Xavier mixed up in a possible homicide. Therefore, I strongly recommend that you think carefully about this.'

Erik then staggered back as Logan neatly cuffed him on the jaw.

'And that love tap is so you don't forget what I've said,' John explained cheerfully, even as Erik in turn rushed him.

The handyman pushed him off towards the direction of the bench. This wasn't very hard to do as Erik's initial flash of temper had sufficiently diffused in the interim. The big man watched as Erik crumpled into a pitiful heap on the garden bench and hid his face in his hands. With a silent sigh, John sat next to him and pulled out another beer.

'You are a good friend to Charles,' Erik confessed in a tight whisper. 'He's lucky to have you.'

Logan grunted conversationally to let him know he was listening.

'I thought love was supposed to make you strong?' Erik eventually spat out in a frustrated hoarse voice as he wiped his eyes on his sleeve, 'What a load of dung!'

Erik raised his head to look over at his drinking companion as the silence continued.

'Are you going to sit there like a bloody statue or give me some blasted advice?!' Erik roared unreasonably, to which Logan only smirked in amusement. He wondered if Lehnsherr realised that he was even beginning to sound a little like the professor.

Schooling his face in a more neutral and compassionate visage, he prepared to give a few emotional nudges as requested.

'How long have you been hunting Shaw?'

Erik skewed him with a sideways look, 'Why? Seventeen years. He's a slippery bastard.'

Logan raised his untidy eyebrows at this admission. That was a long time to hold a grudge and he began to ponder about this mysterious personality who was suddenly having a big impact on their little family.

'It takes a lot of courage to move off a path that you have been on for so many years and go on another,' he rumbled quietly, 'That takes a strength that's hard to find but you've found it, here with the professor.'

Erik sighed. He was more thinking along the lines that he was beginning to realize that rationally, he couldn't have Charles' heart and his revenge on Shaw at the same time. For the first time, in a long time, Erik wanted something more from this life than just revenge.

With another sigh of disgust he reached over for another beer, only to have Logan nudge the carton away with his foot.

'Two beers in less than ten minutes, I think is more than enough. I don't want Charles giving me the 'John- I-do-not approve stare'.

Erik guffawed at this, 'you sound like if you are afraid of Xavier.'

'…as if you're not!' the handyman quipped with a knowing smirk. It hadn't escaped his notice that Charles seemed to have gotten over his initial awe of Erik's temper and was now holding his own when they had disagreements.

Despite his earlier admonition Logan leaned over to grab another beer for Erik, 'just don't go off on your own. It would completely ruin my Christmas if you went and got dead.'

'Happy Christmas, to you too,' Erik replied in amused sarcasm.


	49. Tis the season part3

**Anote**: Chapter 50 will be the last one and I already have most of it written, yay! It's very sappy and romantic.

Chapter 49- **'Tis the season part 3**

_**Five minutes later**_

Automatically, Erik glanced at this phone before answering the call. 'Talk to me.'

'Caw caww, caw caww!'

Erik raised both eyebrows in concern, 'Matt!? What the hell is wrong with you?!'

'Erik, that's the secret signal!' the boy hissed in a scolding whisper. 'How could you forget?!'

Erik sighed and massaged his nose, 'Remind me what a terrible imitation for a bird call means again?'

'It means that people are on their way to interrupt the "conversation" that you are having with Professor Xavier.'

'Matt, you don't have to use his full title like that. He's just a regular guy like you and me.'

He heard the boy's unbelieving snort over the line. Erik had spoken to him several times about this, knowing that it made Charles mildly uncomfortable that Matt gaped at him like some sort of celebrity, while he was trying to read his morning newspaper. They were both waiting for the day when Matt would ask for his autograph.

'Charles isn't out here. Check the bathroom.''

'Alright,' Matt said unsurely before hanging up.

Erik climbed up on the bench, wanting to get another view of the ball room.

'John!'

Instantly the handyman was at his side as Erik fumbled for his ringing telephone again. 'Yes!'

The two valets looked on as Jean discreetly turned on the spot, seeking out her absent escort on the dance floor.

'Look Erik,' Matt replied without preamble, 'I don't care if the two of you are rolling around the bushes, but Prof…Charles has a speech in like seven minutes.'

'Did you check the bathroom?! He's not here with me!' Erik replied in alarm, mouthing Xavier's name to the man beside him. Logan quickly dialed the professor's number.

'Yeah right! I am not falling for that again. Make sure and tuck his shirt in this time.'

Erik watched as Logan shook his head at the lack of a response.

_**A**__**n hour later**_

'Erik!' Hank cried out as he waved an unmarked envelope towards the man. 'I found this outside.'

The little unofficial search party that was combing the mansion now huddled together, eager to hear some good news. Absently, several of the staff stretched out their hands to touch Erik's jacket, trying to give support while unconsciously seeking comfort in return for the unexplained absence of their master.

However, the man in the center of their group stood like one paralyzed, as Erik stared at his own name printed in bold letters on the plain white envelope.

It just wasn't the name he normally used.

_**Christmas day**_

Erik winced as he pulled off his shades. It might be cold but the glare of the sun as it reflected off the gleaming white paint of the yacht, was strong enough to put your eyes out. However, he hadn't been noticed as yet, and for a few moments he stared at Shaw, as the man fussed at the long counter of an outdoor kitchen station. The experience was a bit disorienting to put it mildly.

'Max!' the man yelled out jovially, as he looked up, 'or should I say Erik. You made it!'

The two men just looked at each other and Erik felt a queer sensation come over him, as terrible moments and memories washed over like an angry tidal wave. Shaw snapped his fingers and two identical looking guards from Thugs r'us, stepped out of the shadows. The men quickly searched him, relieving him of the knife at his back but completely missing the small one jammed into his left boot.

'Why draw attention to yourself by kidnapping the professor?' Erik had to know. 'Maybe I've been giving your intelligence too much credit over the years. For a chance to meet you, I would have come half way across the world.'

Shaw nodded in agreement as he yelled out Charles' name down a hatch. 'I used to think so but I have been hearing the strangest stories about you.'

Erik looked across as Xavier stumbled into view; having difficulties in keeping his balance with his hands tied infront of him. He wasn't wearing the same clothes from the party, but instead was decked out in a bright orange top that would stand out for a mile.

Shaw minutely studied Erik's reaction.

'Your friend has quite a mouth on him,' Shaw explained as he pointed to the spectacular bruise on the young man's cheek, 'I am afraid some of his guards lost patience.'

The professor looked once at Erik and then kept his eyes on the deck. The completely blank expression in his boyfriend's eyes had taken his breath away. Erik's body was on board but Charles wasn't sure where his mind was. He resolved to be as quiet and as unobtrusive as possible, taking it for granted that Erik had some plan for getting them out of this mess. Nevertheless, Charles could safely say, he had never been so happy to see anyone in his life. He flinched as Shaw put a gentle hand on his shoulders.

'You know, you almost had me in Prague, Erik. I crossed behind your car just as you were getting out. When I didn't hear from you these last two years, I was happily beginning to think that you had crawled under a rock and died, only to hear that all this time you were in prison. Now, I have been hearing stories that you've forgotten all about me Erik, but somehow, I don't think so because people like us…we never change. In any case, I am not interested in looking over my shoulder for the rest of my life, so let's talk.'

Erik only rolled his eyes in bored irritation, as Shaw suddenly pushed Charles off the deck and into the water below. The man smirked in triumphant at his lack of reaction.

'Xavier?' Erik called out, mimicking Charles' talent for keeping calm under intense pressure, a trait no doubt cultivated from his British upbringing. He was relieved to hear the professor call out in return.

'I'm fine,' the young man yelled, 'but fuck this water is cold! Fuck, Fuck, FUCK!'

It was good that he had braced himself in advance for Shaw's antics as Erik knew the man had a penchant for dramatics, in which he tried to provoke a telling emotional response from his adversaries. In the interim, Erik was quietly thanking the God he wasn't quite sure that he believed in, that the professor was now out of danger. It almost seemed too good to be true. Additionally, he felt a wave of warmth and strength fill his heart and limbs as Charles' endearing use of profanity continued to waft up the side of the deck as he swam away. He didn't dare make any further enquires, lest he bring further attention to his boyfriend treading the water.

However, the unexpected appearance of Emma dashing out from behind a post gave his stomach quite a turn.

'Are you crazy!' she bawled out at Shaw, looking over the side, 'You could have killed him!'

Sebastian narrowed his eyes at these overprotective sentiments.

'EMMA!' Charles shouted out, 'What the bloody hell are you doing?! JUMP woman!'

With a look of fear, she glanced back towards the two men who glared at her with the deepest loathing.

'Be a dear and get us out of the harbor, just in case Erik's brought friends,' Shaw instructed her in silky tones, even as Charles continued to beg her to give it all up and come over the side of the boat. Finally she backed away and scuttled hastily to the captain's chair to start the engine.

'People can really surprise you, can't they?' Shaw mused to his would be assassin, he himself a little taken aback by the odd behaviour of his usually unflappable, right hand woman.

Erik reached out one hand to steady himself on a rail, as the water began to chop beneath them. For a moment, while everyone was distracted, he had thought of jumping over the side himself, but stopped himself at the last moment. It was now on him to get this madman as far away from Charles as possible. Truly, it was hard to describe how guilty he felt that the person he cared for most in this world had been lured out of his home and assaulted.

Erik glared at Emma, wishing he could rip out the spine of the traitorous witch! He knew it wasn't her fault but it was just easier to blame her. Shaw might have cleverly sent a spy into their midst but it was Erik that had brought Shaw into Charles' life. He had been so captivatingly distracted playing house with Charles, that Erik began to forget how truly dangerous this cat and mouse game could really be. Erik had not always been the hunter in their little chase.

'My little Emma has been telling me, that you have given up your criminal endeavors in favor of a more domesticated life; which would be a terrible shame because that little money making scheme you dreamed up in Tokyo was a truly inspired piece of creative accounting!'

Erik took the seat that the man gestured to, crossing his right leg over his lap and casually dropping his hand to touch the top of his left boot, where his knife resided.

'Thank you,' he replied blandly, 'but what difference does it make. It's not like you are going to let me leave here alive.'

Shaw gestured to Emma to bring forth some drinks, as he took a seat a little away from Erik's reach.

'Is that fear I see in your eyes Erik?' Shaw remarked, 'I am actually a bit surprised that you haven't tried to rush me as yet.'

'Your guards would shoot me before I even got a chance,' he stated flatly, 'it's not fear, its annoyance. You will be and always have been a blasted thorn in my ass! Do you know how much money I could have gotten from Xavier? And now that you have inconveniently snatched me away, it's doubtful that I can regain the ground I have lost.'

As Shaw sampled his glass of scotch contemplatively, his companion came forward.

'He's lying Seba!' the platinum blonde shouted, 'Don't trust him! Why are you sitting there, talking to him?! This isn't a James Bond movie! He's been trying to kill you for years.'

'All of this I know,' her colleague remarked quietly, opening a fancy chest and pulling out a handgun from its depths, 'He's lying about something, I just don't know what.'

As you can imagine, Erik was carelessly making this shit up as he went along, stalling for time. Realising that Shaw's most current address was on the water had alerted Logan and his happy band of gun toting friends/mercenaries to the fact that potentially, their target could become a moving one. The handyman/ex-military weapons expert had promised him a distraction if this occurred. Erik's eyes flicked to the edge of the coast line, judging the distance of the boat from the designated marker.

There had really been only one objective in mind today and that was to get Charles to safety. As such, several permutations of the plan had been drawn up to cover every contingency but none had been needed as Shaw had thrown an unexpected spoke in the wheel, early in the game. Erik knew that his friends would come after him to try and affect some rescue, a novel idea which took awhile to wrap his brain around. He had been on his own for years, and then recently he and Charles had become a team and somehow, without him realizing it, that had somehow morphed into including a motley crew of friends, acquaintances and servants.

However, this simple plan to buy extra time was prematurely upset when Shaw unexpectedly turned his gun on Emma and shot her in the face. For a moment Erik stared stupidly as the woman collapsed unto the deck, like a puppet whose strings had been savagely cut. With a howl of anger, he dived towards her but it was of no use. Her glassy eyes stared unseeingly up into the brilliant blue sky and with a gentle caress of his hand, he closed her eyelids for the last time.

'Still shooting people in the head, you sadistic bastard?!' Erik cried out breathlessly, as Emma's face and that of his mum blurred into one searing image. He knew he was on the verge of a full blown panic attack as his lungs seized and spots of yellow danced before his eyes. Painfully struggling for breath, he crawled towards the edge of the boat trailing handprints of blood over the pristine floor, finally propping up his back against the side.

Shaw smirked gleefully, pleased that his attempt to tip Erik over the edge had worked, 'This way, death was instantaneous. No pain at all! Would a bastard be that merciful and generous? I don't think you ever appreciated that about me. You mother didn't suffer at all.'

Shaw rose to his feet and carefully approached the fallen man, 'Look at you Erik, you're a mess. You're not good for anything in this life and you know it. I am the only one that understands you because I made you into the man you are today. I have given your life purpose and meaning for decades. Erik listen to me, we don't have to be on opposite sides, you and I.'

'You killed my mother; we'll always be on opposite sides,' Erik gasped defiantly, even as his heart acknowledged the truth of the man's words. 'If it's alright with you, can we just skip to the part where you just shoot me in the head?'

Shaw stared down at the man before him, stunned at Erik's choice 'Are you sure? A bullet hole in the head is sort of a permanent proposition. How about you try on Emma's old job for a while and see if it suits? No need to be so hasty.'

Erik smiled a little as he surreptitiously reached into his boot for his knife. He remembered a lot of things about his life with the professor but strangely it was Logan's admonition that blared loudly in his ears now. It WAS time to put his own full stop on his past but he would have given anything to have kissed Charles one last time; especially today of all days.

A loud bang made every flinch and suddenly it was like the New Year had come early, as multiple caseloads of fireworks exploded, dotting the sky high over head with sparkles and smoke. Immediately every one on board literally hit the deck, believing themselves to be under fire from the army at the very least. In the noisy confusion of the moment Erik pulled himself up the rails, hand over hand. He was in no fit state to swim, but the way Shaw had brutally executed his lady, left him with no choice but to use this timely distraction. He had a feeling that it was now or never and if he was going to die today, then he would be damned if he was going to lay there like some victim and let Shaw gun him down.

Hitting the water strangely felt as though he was slamming into a concrete pavement but it was mercifully quiet here, and the water was cool.

_**Five months later**_

Matt walked through the silent house, switching on lights as he went, 'Erik, are you here?'

He looked in each room and then out a window and was relieved to see Erik outside. He was always afraid that one day he was going to come home, only to find out that Erik had decided to take a midday stroll, somewhere out in the miles of Arizona desert that made up their back yard.

'What's up?' he asked, opening the screen door, 'you missed work.' Erik grunted as he stared fixedly at the screen of his laptop, perched on a convenient boulder before him. With a sigh, Matt walked up behind the other man and peeked over his shoulder.

There were basically three things that now made up Erik's day; going to work, jogging at nights and staring at this television channel. At first, Matt had thought that Erik had taken a liking to the news announcer, but this person was replaced and still Erik watched the programme as if it held the meaning of life. Only later, when he worked up the nerve to ask him, did Erik explain that he was actually looking at the set of incomprehensible numbers that scrolled continuously at the bottom of the screen. He then reluctantly pointed out a group of squiggles and numbers that represented Charles' company. Matt had been flabbergasted by this information; distraught at this very visible piece of evidence that hinted how much Erik was thinking of Charles. Erik had smiled sadly at his dismay, assuring him that watching the numbers helped him to relax.

'Something's wrong,' Erik informed him in a worried voice.

THAT was the understatement of the century!

Of course he didn't mind that Erik had suddenly wanted to fly home to Arizona with him. It was a bit of a relief to not have to face his brothers all by himself. But what he had failed to realize in the whole kerfuffle of Charles' kidnapping and his safe return AND trying to reach home before the New Year AND worrying about his brothers' reaction to the news that he was in prison, was that Erik had quietly walked away from his life with the professor.

Matt had made anxious inquires, especially when he telephoned Charles to find out what the heck was going on! But Erik had just glared at him and told him to leave it alone. Subsequently a weekend stay had somehow evolved into an incredibly, depressing five months.

Erik unexpectedly wouldn't take the professor's calls and it had been on him to answer all of Xavier's questions and to try and transmit messages. He didn't know how to tell the young man that Erik walked away whenever he tried to say something. In the end, Charles had quietly told him thank you, and to call at anytime if there was an emergency or if he needed help. Matt thought he was going to go crazy that first month with not knowing what to do, and it was a relief to know that he wasn't the only one. He had almost peed himself, when he went to take out the garbage at 4'clock in the morning, only to find the professor standing in the middle of his postage sized weed filled garden, cat carrier in hand.

'I just want to see him,' Charles had mumbled out in anguish.

Matt had stood in a corner dancing on the spot, wanting to intervene and wake up Erik but the professor would not hear of it. The young academic just looked and looked and looked, as if trying to memorise every feature of the man's face and every breath that he quietly took as he slept. Matt hadn't seen Charles again, and the man hadn't called since.

Xavier had left a note for Erik on his side table as well as the cat. Matt had been forced to snoop, but he felt well rewarded for taking the risk of being scratched by Erik's vicious and overly protective feline guard, when he discovered that the seal of the envelope was broken. He hoped that this meant that his friend had at least read whatever his boyfriend had to say. Erik never said anything, or asked about Charles' visit but from that day his sprits seemed to rally a bit; as if knowing that Charles still cared enough to come all this way to see him, had warmed the icy chill that had settled over his person.

Erik pointed to the squiggle that was Charles' company on the stock exchange. 'These numbers aren't right.'

Matt made an indistinct noise, not knowing what to say, especially when he saw Erik fingering his cell phone. He cleared his throat nervously, torn between encouraging his friend to call the man he was once and perhaps still deeply in love with or just to keep quiet.

'Can you?' Erik whispered feebly, as Ashley jumped into his arms with an inquiring meow of concern. 'I wouldn't know what to say.'

Matt quietly nodded and with the minimum of fuss he dialed the professor's number, hoping that it wouldn't show on his face that he was just as terrified as Erik probably felt.

'Hello, Hi...' he stammered out nervously, 'May I speak to the professor?'

Erik breathed out a sigh that at least someone had answered the phone. He had kept his old number in case of emergency and it was a relief to know that Charles hadn't disconnected his.

'I don't know if you remember me Mrs. Summers, but I am Matt, a friend of Erik's.'

The young man quickly handed over the phone as Erik waved him over. He then listened in tense silence at his half of the conversation.

'Jean?'

'It's wonderful to hear your voice too.'

Erik pulled his laptop towards him, 'Yes, I am watching it now.'

'You can't be serious! Why would Xavier authorize something like that?'

Erik listened intently with a dark frown at the explanation. 'Let me talk to him.'

'HE'S WHERE?!' Erik roared so loudly that Ashley hissed and Matt tripped over his feet.


	50. Full circle part 1

**Anote**: **Happy New year! Sigh…I have so many ideas for how to end this story that I couldn't compress it all in one chapter so here is the first bit.**

Chapter 50 – **Full circle part1**

_**Present day. **_

_**Somewhere in a nameless little village in Eastern Europe.**_

It was snowing again.

Every day it snowed here but the inhabitants seemed to take it in stride. It reminded Charles of London, where people casually sloshed about in the rain like if it was normal to arrive to work dripping.

The professor leaned against the window frame, sipping his hot tea and looking at the picture postcard scene outside. With a quiet laughing smile, he raised his hand to return the enthusiastic wave of a man and his little girls, as they happily plodded along with their grocery bundles. For a moment his mood had shifted into one of pleasure but as soon as they walked away, he fell back into his usual lethargic brooding.

The man in the room behind the professor looked on at this with an unhappy frown, 'Is there any lunch, my son?'

Charles made a brave attempt to smile again before turning around. 'Yes. I was just going to wake you. Your niece had sent some black bread, pumpkin soup and…'

Here Xavier hesitated as he peered into the last pot, swaddled in towels to keep it warm, 'and a mystery vegetable, it would seem.'

The old man took his cane and slowly walked forward to investigate.

'Turnips Charles,' he supplied as he scowled at the lack of meat. 'I told Helen we need meat. You are much too skinny! I must fatten you up while I have the chance!'

The man raised an eyebrow as Charles turned pale and coughed repeatedly.

'Thank you **Jakob**. Your son…,' the professor began a bit shakily, 'also fusses about my weight. Well at one time he did.'

As Charles avoided his gaze by setting the table, the old man unconsciously caressed his heart where a picture of his now grown-up son rested against his skin. It had been close to a month now when the young professor had knocked on his door and changed his life with a few words. Of course, he naturally wanted to run out the house like a mad man and he would have hobbled all the way to the United States if Charles hadn't blocked his path. After all that he had lost in the war, the news that his youngest son, his baby boy had somehow survived the fighting had reduced him to a hysterical sobbing mess.

Charles had promised to take him and that had comforted him greatly, as much as the kind manner in which the small man bundled him up and hovered over him with tissues and hot drinks until he had recovered himself. Xavier then hesitantly accepted his offer to stay with him, only agreeing when he informed the young man that there was no hotel or inn in the village. Families and communities that had been scattered during the fighting were slowly returning, but the reconstruction had been sluggish.

As Charles settled in and the initial rush of euphoria was over, Jakob soon realised that they had fallen into a symbiotic relationship of sorts. He needed to hear every single bland unimportant detail of his son's existence as much as Charles needed someone to listen to him talk about Max or Erik as he now called himself.

They both cried together as Xavier told him how Erik's experiences in the war had crippled him emotionally, leading to a life of crime in order to extract his vengeance on those who had murdered his mother. Jakob had immediately taken ill after learning of Erik's imprisonment and his niece had to practically move in to help take care of him. He was a bit surprised at how worried his son's friend was about him, who had gone so far as to fly in doctors all the way from Switzerland to attend to him. It took him two weeks to recover but he acknowledged that it was for the best. From the stories Charles had recited to keep him entertained, Erik's PSTD made him quite skittish and fragile and they couldn't just spring the news of his father's existence without unpredictable consequences.

However, after a week or so when he was back on his feet, Jakob began to get the distinct impression that Charles seemed perfectly happy to take up residence in Erik's old room for an unspecified duration of time. Even though Charles talked about Erik constantly, he strangely didn't seem the least bit in a rush to see him again. It didn't take Jakob too long after that, to figure out that something else was going on in the background, especially when he heard Charles crying himself to sleep at nights. Charles was a very nice man and he liked him immensely but to his knowledge Erik wasn't gay. However, he hadn't seen his boy in decades so he couldn't be sure. He would leave that situation in the hands of God; hoping that Charles would somehow be spared additional pain and heartache.

'My son, put on your jacket now and go to Helen and return with the meat. She must have forgotten. Little Molly is cutting her first tooth and that would drive any new mother to the edge.'

Charles opened his mouth to protest but then closed it in resignation. Even though it was ingrained in him to obey his elders, it really was pointless to argue as Jakob was as stubborn as a donkey. The old man took a seat at the small dining table and folded his arms, looking quite prepared to wait until the professor returned with the missing lunch item.

'You can finish this,' Charles suggested desperately, as he placed the tea pot in front of the other, before dashing off to get his coat. However, it was only when the freezing cold air hit his exposed fingers, did the young man realize that his gloves were not in his coat pockets.

'Oh blast!' he muttered miserably, stuffing his hands into his empty pockets. As the professor glanced at the distance between the two houses, weighing the benefits of returning indoors or just making a sprint for Helen's house, he caught sight of Erik reading a street sign, across the lane from him.

It was one of those slow motion moments, where your eyes connect , your mind blacks out and your stomach drops into your feet, and you weren't sure what you should feel, let alone how to breathe. But regrettably, after a few seconds, this bit of movie magic ended with a disappointing pop.

'GOD DAMMIT, XAVIER!' Erik roared as he stumbled forward, almost loosing his footing in the snow. 'WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!'

Charles gulped nervously and took one step back as the man got closer. His boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend he should say, was coming towards him with all the intensity of a runaway train.

Erik hadn't really planned on what he was going to say. A person who felt less could have perhaps said more.

Charles had to admit that being slammed against the side of a wall hurt, but damn it felt good to have Erik shove his tongue down his throat. The professor didn't give a damned who was watching as Erik hoisted him up into his arms and in response Charles wantonly curled his arms and legs around the tall man, as if his life depended on being plastered against the man's strong frame.

'What happened?' the small man asked, as pulled away to gently caress and investigate Erik's bruised face.

The tall man winced before leaning down to kiss him again, a bit softer this time. 'It's nothing; just Logan and I saying hello to each other.'

'Who's there?' a curious voice called out, followed by the familiar sounds of a cane tapping on the wooden floor. 'Charles is that you?'

Stifling an insane desire to laugh, the professor broke their kiss, 'One minute sir. Please stay where you are!'

Erik immediately released him and put him on his feet, before reaching out for a convenient log of cut wood, in which to defend them.

Quickly, the professor cradled Erik's face in his hands again, 'No, Erik! It's alright, that's my friend. Erik, look at me.'

The tall man turned them around so as to put his body between Charles and the stranger, while straining his eyes to perceive through the darkness in the doorway, to see the shadowy form within.

'Erik, look at me!' Charles demanded more urgently this time, knowing that he had only moments before he lost control of the man again, 'I have something to tell you and its important.'

In dismay, he could now detect an upsetting change in Erik's breathing.

'It's nothing bad,' the young man insisted, trying to keep him calm. 'you must trust me!'

Erik closed his eyes, struggling for control, using the breathing exercises that he had been practicing for months. It wasn't as hard as he thought it would be, and eventually he opened his eyes to smile at the man below him. 'You've found a member of my family haven't you? It's the only reason to explain why you are here.'

Charles couldn't help but smile in return. He had missed Erik so much.

'I hope to God it isn't my Uncle Victor because he's nuttier than squirrel poo!' Erik remarked with nervous humor, opening his arms so that Charles could wrap himself supportively around him, 'Hi there! You can come out now!'

The professor held his breath. This was SO not unfolding the way he had hoped and it was really no surprise to him when Erik's knees gave way. Erik had once tried to explain to him what it felt like when he experienced a flashback. As he described it, when the past suddenly overlaid on to the present and then back again, the sensation could be disorienting. Charles had no doubt of the truth of that statement now.

With a loud cry of delight, Jakob rushed forward and the two of them awkwardly carried Erik into the next room where they crashed haphazardly into a chair. In the end, it was just easier for the old man to sit and then deposit Erik on the floor, where he promptly hugged any part of his father within reach. Erik felt he must have gone into some sort of mild shock, because he couldn't remember who or when someone had tucked a blanket around his body. His father shushed him as he called out agitatedly for Charles.

'He's gone in to your room to lay down,' the man reassured him, as he stroked his son's head and shoulders. 'He's not far.'

Erik closed his eyes as his father continued to talk in a low voice. Jakob knew without him having to ask, what he wanted most to hear. Erik's heart plummeted when he realized how few of their family had survived.

'Little Molly has your eyes,' his father informed him happily, 'and she loves to ask or maybe demand is the better word, piggy back rides from Xavier. Perhaps you can suggest to him, that he should not do this anymore. She's getting to be quite a… errr… plump little bundle of joy.'

'I lost mom,' Erik unexpectedly whispered into the silence that fell between them.

'And I lost your two brothers,' Jakob confessed with a grief that would never completely heal. It wasn't natural for parents to outlive their children. 'It wasn't our fault my son and you have to believe that. I am not angry or disappointed at you for anything that happened. I am so very, very happy that you are here in my arms now!

'Father, I'm so sorry. Everything's a mess. I am a mess. I have used the education you gave me to do terrible things. You shouldn't be so kind to me!'

Jakob didn't respond to this, knowing full well that Erik would have to forgive himself, just as he had to do. Patiently, he let his son cry out his pain and as the young man allowed his father's word to comfort him, the wound that had been hollowed out in his soul so long ago, began to close just a little.

'Focus on the present, my dear boy. There is so much to be thankful for. Keep your mind here with me; with us,' his father crooned lovingly as his son shivered uncontrollably in random spurts, 'Speaking of the present, do my eyes now fail me, or were you kissing Charles in the doorway earlier?

Erik hesitated, not quite knowing what to say to such a direct question.

'Well you see Father,' he cried out defensively, as the Jakob graced him with a look of curious exasperation.

'You think because I am old, I know nothing!' he said scathingly. 'Why do you think your mother always sent me to the butcher? Do you think we always got the best cuts of beef by accident? I will have you know that I was quite a handsome figure back in the day!'

Erik gaped speechlessly; a bit stunned to realize that the village butcher had once admired his dad.

'So what happened?' his father asked, poking him impatiently with his cane as his son continued to gape at him in a completely idiotic manner, in his opinion, 'Charles said you went away one weekend, and opted not to come back. This sounds very fishy to me. Did you quarrel? Have you found someone else? Well I hope to GOD he's something spectacular because Charles….'

Erik raised his hand to stop this barrage of questions and critical commentary on his life choices, 'Father please.'

His dad quieted down reluctantly, waiting patiently for information.

'All of that has to wait,' Erik explained passing a weary hand over his face, 'Charles' company is in trouble. Do you think you are strong enough to travel?'

Jakob frowned and invited him to explain the situation. The man mused over these new facts scratching his beard absently. 'I can't say I understand it all because this sounds like something requiring a good lawyer more than anything else, but I will come. I could not bear to be parted from you now. My friends tell me that travelling today is almost as comfortable as sitting in an armchair.'

'Especially, the way Charles travels,' Erik muttered under his breath, thinking of the professor's Gulfstream aircraft that he had flown across the Atlantic in.

'You do know that it would be much easier for you to act on Charles' behalf, if you were actually part of the family?' the old man remarked sneakily, as he shuffled across to the lunch table.

'What?' his father asked innocently as his son choked, 'It's my job to meddle in your romantic affairs.'

'FATHER!' Erik hissed in horror, glancing at the closed bedroom door in concern, 'Stop that this instant!'

'Oh, stop being such a blasted coward,' Jakob snorted knowingly, 'Go talk to him, we have some time. If we are going to accuse some huge multi-national bank of fraud, I need lunch first. Just so you know, I am not at ALL pleased that you were living with Charles for months and then left for no apparently good reason. Eisenhardt men do NOT act so dishonorably! Your dear mother is probably having a seizure right now in the afterlife.'

As Erik continued to look doubtful, Jakob flapped a loaf of freshly baked bread in his son's direction, 'Go! Go kiss and make up…or whatever is the phrase you young people use nowadays!'

With an exasperated roll of his eyes, Erik climbed to his feet and walked over to his old room. His father had turned into quite a character in his old age. He frequently looked back just to reassure himself that the man wasn't going to vanish as soon as he turned his back. However, Jakob didn't seem to have any similar concerns as he dug into the meal with a hearty appetite, completely ignoring his son's worry.

TBC

*** **I dug up on the Xmen wiki to find Erik's father's name, if you were wondering where I got the idea for **Jakob ****Eisenhardt** from.


	51. Full circle part2

**Anote:** Well here we are folks. Thanks for everyone that has read, favorited and reviewed. It's been wonderful!

Chapter 51- **Full circle part2**

It was weird how little his room had changed.

The furniture seemed a little smaller and faded but everything else was the same. He doubted that he could fit in that bed now, but it was perfect for someone of Charles' size.

'Did you have a favourite?' the young man asked, gesturing to the ceiling above him. Erik looked up and grinned in disbelief, not believing that his naked girlie pictures from his teenage years were still there.

He pointed to a brunette to the right with anatomically impossible breasts.

'Figures,' Charles snorted irritably, with a small pout.

Erik looked down at Charles, and coughed a little nervously, not really knowing what to say to someone he must have hurt so badly, 'my tastes have changed over the years.'

The professor didn't reply to this suggestive comment but continued to look absently up at the ceiling.

'You mind if I lay down?' Erik asked quietly. Erik felt as though he might be pushing his luck, but he was never one to play it safe. The worse that could happen was that Charles could say no. More likely than not, the young man would get up and take a chair.

His eyes widened in surprise as the professor scooted over a bit to give him room. Erik wisely kept his incredulous thoughts to himself and immediately took the vacant spot offered. As he suspected, he couldn't quite fit, but amazingly Xavier didn't seem to mind that he was sprawled half on top of him.

'Are you alright?' Charles asked quietly, still not really looking at him, 'It must have been quite a shock to learn that your father is still alive.'

'Not as much as hearing that you were in this godforsaken place,' Erik muttered. He didn't know how he felt about being back here in his childhood house, and without even thinking he drew Charles' body closer to him for comfort. It dawned on him that the professor wasn't embracing him in return but that was hardly surprising, and as he closed his eyes and just breathed in his scent, Erik uncomplainingly enjoyed the press of his body against him.

'If you want to nap, let me give you the bed,' Charles offered kindly.

'My dad's mad at me,' Erik informed him hurriedly, hoping to keep Xavier distracted and more importantly, right next to his side.

'You're very different people now,' Charles reassured with a gentle pat on the head, incorrectly deducing the cause of the trouble, 'give the reunion a chance. It will be slow but worth it.'

'Charles, are you seeing anyone?! Erik suddenly blurted out desperately, 'Would it be alright if I kiss you again?'

The young man turned his head away with a barely audible sob, 'I prefer that you didn't. You took me by surprise earlier.'

'That's okay,' Erik lied quickly, feeling his stomach plummet as Charles furtively blotted his eyes on the edge of the pillowcase, 'Sorry. I didn't mean to be so pushy. Do you think you can look at me for a moment?'

It took some doing but Erik waited patiently this time, 'I just want to say that I am sorry for any hurt that I have caused you. I was just too messed up in my thoughts to stay. I know its no excuse, but when you were taken from the mansion, it just…it just did me in.'

Erik searched for some sort of reaction from his former lover but there was none. Charles just looked at him blankly as if he was speaking a foreign language.

'Thank you for finding my family,' Erik added, gesturing to the closed door.

'Doctor said it would help,' Charles explained in a small whisper, as Erik startled him again by leaning over and pressing a kiss on his hair.

'And I wish I could spend some time here with you,' Erik replied. 'There are places and things I would have liked to shared with you, as friends, which I still hope we are.'

The way Charles stiffened under him, lighted a flicker of hope in his soul.

'You're leaving!?' the academic cried out in shock.

'No, WE ARE,' Erik replied. He quickly and simply explained the situation back home to Charles and the young man sat up in fright.

'Easy….it's going to be alright!' Eirk assured him.

'Don't lie to me!' Charles yelped, clutching at the man's jacket lapels, 'Can I get back control of my company?'

Erik put his arms around him as the professor turned pale.

'Yes Charles,' he said confidently, 'but in the future, if you're leaving for such an extended period of time, you should give someone you trust oversight over your affairs or perhaps freeze transactions over certain amounts.'

'I'll do that,' Xavier obediently responded, slumping tiredly against his chest. 'Good god, what a day! I guess I should be thanking you now.'

Erik wasn't sure about that. Charles wouldn't be here, isolated and cut off from modern day communications, if he hadn't been so keen on tracking down remaining members of Erik's family. Then again, it was only a matter of time before his greedy and clever investors had slowly pushed the professor out of his position of control. They had just used his timely absence to seize control a lot sooner.

'Let's call it even,' Erik suggested pressing a gentle kiss against the man's forehead.

Charles smiled a little at his caress, beginning to wonder if he could really let down his guard to at least be friends again with Erik. That would be nice, more than nice. He closed his eyes and unconsiously arched his neck slightly towards Erik as the man lightly trailed his fingers along the column of his throat and across his collar bone.

'I'll help you pack,' Erik added, 'I've brought your plane. We should go as soon as possible.'

'What's wrong?' the small asked as he felt the other's arms spasm around him.

'I just have a feeling that Shaw's out there; watching me,' Erik admitted fearfully, 'what if he snatches you away again?'

'We've tightened security a bit more,' Charles remarked, patting him consolingly on the chest as he tended to do in the past. 'It's a sad fact of life that most everyone lives their life under some threat of crime and violence but I am actually hoping he does try again.'

Naturally Erik turned green at the very idea.

'The coast guard appears to be taking it quite personally that they can't find him,' the professor explained quickly, 'and we've managed to get most of the other alphabet agencies involved. It won't be so easy for him to move around as it was for him in the past. If he has any sense at all, he'll bob all the way down the coastline in that little toy boat and find some farm in Argentina to live on.'

Charles looked on as Erik stared at the wall, seemingly lost in his own little world, 'Did she suffer?'

His surprising question startled the older man.

'Emma? No, I don't think so. She was dead before she even hit the deck.'

He reached over to wipe away the single tear that rolled down the small man's cheek. They had talked about this previously but he could see that the professor was still convinced that he had some hand to play in her demise.

'It was just a matter of time sweetheart. Shaw is an unstable as they come,' Erik tried to comfort him as he drew him close so that the professor could rest against his chest. 'But whatever there was that was still decent inside of her, you were able to reach in and touch. That was clear to everyone. I will always be impressed by the degree of humanity you posses. The world needs more people with your kind of courage.'

The professor smiled faintly, moved beyond words that Erik still held him in such high regard.

'Thank you,' Charles replied quietly as he wrapped his arms around the man's torso, 'But what of your courage? You've held true to a different path for months now, all on your own. I am very, very proud of you.'

Erik shook his head at this unwarranted praise, 'I absolutely hate the fact that a murdering bastard like that is still out there but I am not going to tempt fate again. I don't think you realize how incredibly lucky you are that he didn't just kill you outright. You're alive and you're okay and that's the most important thing.'

Erik exhaled heavily as he hugged the small man in his arms. Xavier had been right all along, as much as Erik hadn't wanted to believe it. In the end, the professor had foreseen that he would have to make a final choice between him and Shaw; the past and the future; death or life. It just hadn't really unfolded in exactly the way that any of them had imagined.

'Thank you,' Charles again whispered shyly in his ear, secretly thrilled that he was still on Erik's list of important things. Cautiously the Englishman inched forward and kissed him gently on the lips as a way of articulating a special show of appreciation. His heart was torn; on one side he was pleased that the older man remained still and accepted his touch but on the other hand, he was depressed that Erik hadn't tried to grab him again. With a quiet sigh he untangled himself. His emotions were pinging all over the place; he needed some fresh air to pull himself together. Besides which, Erik looked so delicious in his all black outfit, that it was making it exceedingly difficult to concentrate. Xavier wasn't even sure if he had combed his hair that morning or not. Life could be so unfair!

'You look nice,' Charles mumbled out, sneaking another quick peek at him. He should really get up now and go for a walk but for some reason his body would not co-operate. His traitorous legs and arms wanted to remain exactly where they were.

'It was premeditated,' Erik murmured in return, 'I know you like me in this color.'

Charles gulped nervously and averted his gaze. That was his cue to leave before he got dragged into whatever mischief his ex- was plotting. His heart rate zoomed into overdrive when Erik reached out and tilted his face towards him. 'You haven't answered my question, little one.'

Charles took a deep breath and frowned sternly at him; determined to take back control of this conversation. It wasn't right for Erik to try and deliberately rattle him like this. 'And what question was that?'

'Are you seeing anyone?'

The professor sniffed disdainfully, 'Why? Are YOU seeing anyone!?'

Erik dropped his hand with a sad shrug, 'It's too late for someone like me. If I couldn't make it work with someone as loving and patient you, I'll never get it to work with anyone. My cat loves me, I can be happy with that.'

Compassionately, the professor threw an arm around his shoulder, acutely sorry that he was so mean to him previously. 'Don't say that Erik, it's never too late! Now that you're not spending your time hunting for vengeance, you'll find love again. When the time is right, someone will be there waiting, I promise!'

The cunning gleam in Erik's eyes made him pause in bewilderment and before he could even blink, the man had him pinned on the bed again.

Oh shit. He had walked into that.

Desperately he pushed on Erik's bicep to keep him at a distance, 'Erik no. Don't…you're confusing me. I didn't mean someone as in me, you lunatic!'

'And why not you? I like that idea very much' Erik muttered persuasively, as he nuzzled into the sweet warmth of his neck, 'and you were here, waiting for me, just as you said. This is all your fault in any case. I had no plan in mind when I got off the plane but you've suddenly got me thinking about the joys of family again. If I recall correctly, I never did take you out for that dinner.'

Charles pulled away, refusing to let Erik seduce him by the sudden tantalising image that he was sketching out infront of them.

'Thank you but that's not necessary and I am hungry right now,' he choked out breathlessly. 'Let's go join your father for lunch.'

'One minute, I want to ask you something,' Erik interjected quickly.

The small man sighed deeply, knowing that the conversation was not over but relieved that Erik had loosened his hold, 'What is it?'

'Will you marry me Charles?

'NO!' he screeched out loud, jumping up and whirling around in complete surprise, 'ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?!'

As they stared down each other, a sharp tap at the door made their heads turn in that direction.

'Children?!' Jakob called anxiously from outside.

'We're alright,' Erik called out reassuringly, 'I just asked Charles to marry me.'

They could hear the man's surprised gasp of delight through the wood as he clapped his hands together.

'Splendid idea! Absolutely splendid! But to be truthful my son, it sounds like you need to practice your technique,' Jakob mused worriedly. 'Well, keep trying. I am outside if you need me.'

Charles collapsed on a chair opposite, struggling not to cry. Erik didn't appear to be at all distressed by his refusal. Hadn't his ex- hurt him enough? What had he ever done to the man to warrant him playing such games with him?

'You don't seem too upset that I've said no,' Charles asked bitterly.

Erik shrugged again and tucked his hands under his head as he lay back on the pillows, 'if you had said yes, I would have been exceedingly surprised. It doesn't matter, I'll just ask you tomorrow.'

Charles gaped at the man's audacity.

'Have you gone around the bend, love?' Charles blurted out, 'I am not going to say yes! Not tomorrow, not ever!'

'Yes, you will,' he corrected, 'It is just a matter of time.'

Charles was so flabbergasted that he could hardly speak.

Erik was really going to kill him one of these days. He had experienced so many emotions in the last forty-five minutes that he was beginning to feel like a wrung out dishcloth. First, breathless shock when their eyes connected in the street, blazing passion and arousal when Erik slammed him against the wall and kissed him so brutally, fear and concern when his ex- almost fainted on seeing his dad, stomach churning anxiety when he realized that Erik was pressing him to give him another chance, mind numbing pain when the older man had so callously asked him to marry him, and now aggravation at Erik's smug, superior attitude. He could not recall now why on earth he ever want to be with this man! Erik was the most provoking person on the planet!

'What makes you so sure?' Charles asked acidly, feeling completed irritated now by the man's confident, blasé tone of voice.

'Because you love me,' Erik replied without hesitation, 'you've said so multiple times and I can feel the truth of it when you kiss me. To be honest, I must confess that I don't really understand the feelings I have for you. Caring for you; being your friend for the last couple of months, gave me a new focus and it changed my life. I don't want to lose that and I just want to be able to take care of you again.'

'You want to marry me so you can take care of me?' Charles repeated a bit vaguely.

Erik scowled because somehow, his words now seemed ridiculous, even to him!

'No! Yes! Damn this sounded better in my head,' he muttered sullenly, 'you make out like if it's something creepy.'

Charles winced, not wanting to upset him, 'Just a tiny bit. Let's just say it's lacking in balance and perspective.'

'I have seen your American television. People here get married for far stupider and vaguer reasons,' he protested even as he covered his face with a groan. 'Forget all of that. I am not really articulating myself well today. Just…come lay here with me. '

'Why?' the professor asked warily, afraid that this was a prelude to a fresh tactic. Yes, Erik could still influence him, as evidenced by the excited fluttering in his stomach and the tingling in his palms, but there was a big difference between controlling his body and having control of his heart.

'Because it's all I need,' Erik said simply.

It was unfortunate that the older man had his eyes closed and head laid back, because the expression in the professor's face would have revealed to him, that he had abruptly punched a hole straight through Charles' protective defenses with his simple, from the heart request.

Charles crawled up the side of the bed and allowed himself to be gently tucked into Erik's side. Gingerly he then began stroking the man's chest and from the way the older man's breathing started to even out, he could tell that Erik would be asleep in no time at all.

'Ask me again, please,' Charles requested.

It was just a whisper, but the possible implications jerked Erik out of his semi-doze like a jolt of electricity. Nervously he moistened his suddenly dry lips, 'Would you marry me, Charles Francis Xavier?'

He knew it was his imagination, but Erik could swear that he was hearing his own heart, beating agonizingly in time with the seconds that silently ticked away.

'I can't,' Charles sobbed quietly, 'You are right. I do love you and I want to say yes so badly but I'm sorry, I can't. Not today.'

The older man began to feel an unexpected twinge of fear and all of a sudden he wasn't feeling as sure as when he first started this conversation. Comfortingly he stroked the back of Charles' neck as the man struggled to control himself. 'Calm yourself little one, don't worry about it. Please don't cry.'

The professor fretfully played with the zipper on Erik's jacket as his anxiety grew. What was he doing?! Erik was here now, asking him to be his husband! He might never get a chance like this again!

'Perhaps,' the small man begged in agony, dashing away the tears on his face, 'if you can wait awhile and ask again, i can give you a different answer.'

Erik looked down at him questioningly, as the hope inside him raised its head again and sniffed at the air. Erik was in it for the long haul and he was already devising plans to at least stay with Jean in the village. In this way he hoped that he would be visible to Charles every day, until the man's instinctive and reasonable fear that he would be hurt by him again, had diminished.

It took Erik a good while to find his voice again and when he did, it was shaky at best. 'It's very good to hear you say that little one, because I'll be asking you this same question about the same time tomorrow.'

Charles smiled for the first time since Erik had entered into this room; a heart stopping, peaceful smile; the kind that reached out and brushed against your very soul because it was so beautiful. 'Do you promise, Erik? Say yes…Don't think, just say yes.'

Eventually, the professor had to kick Erik in the shin as the man grinned idiotically across at him like a drunken buffoon.

'Ow…I mean, Yes. I swear. I swear will ask you tomorrow,' Erik replied, returning the man's sweet smile with one of his own, 'I swear on everything!'

**Epilogue**

A gentle, warning tap came from the door before it opened.

'Professor, we are ready for you.'

The small man took in a deep breath before switching off the newspaper he was reading. Erik, who was leaning against a nearby wall looking absently out the window, checked his watch.

'Mr. Xavier, are you sure one of you does not want to walk through the guests?' their wedding co-coordinator asked beseechingly of the tall man.

Erik waved his hands to decline this treat, even as Charles struggled to contain his smile. If he lived to be a hundred, the young man was sure he would never get over his delight that Erik had decided to take his name. Erik, always practical, had decided it was just easier this way when he learnt how complicated it was for someone with a doctorate to change their name, and besides which, Lehnsherr wasn't even his real surname.

'Permit me to say, that you have to be the calmest married couple I have ever hosted,' the woman complimented them, as the two men turned to each to make sure their ties were still straight.

Erik smiled warmly, 'We've been through too much to get all excited about anything in our old age.'

'Old age?' Charles quipped laughingly, 'Speak for yourself!'

Erik hadn't asked Charles everyday to marry him, but he tried to do it as often as he could once the professor was still awake, and especially just before they went to bed.

'You didn't marry me today,' he would say disappointingly, to which Charles would always silently smile before kissing him goodnight. He didn't know what Charles dreamed about when he fell asleep, but he loved watching the peaceful expression on his face as he held him.

'Are you sure you don't want to walk down the aisle?' Erik whispered in concern as Xavier reached over to double-check his cuff links, 'this might be your only chance.'

'REALLY? My only chance?' the professor inquired in a humorous tone with an exaggerated waggle of his eyebrows, clearly hinting that Erik was much too sure of himself.

Erik laughed quietly at this bit of teasing, happy that his husband was practically bouncing with joy, 'Well if you marry someone else that means I am dead and therefore past caring.'

The way Charles suddenly squeezed his hand made him sober up quickly, 'Erik, please don't make jokes like that. If God is merciful, I will die before you do.'

Erik leaned over to kiss him gently in apology, folding him into a warm embrace. There was no point in discussing something like this and today wasn't a day for speaking about such unpleasant inevitabilities. 'I don't know why you love me so dearly, but I am so glad that you do.'

Charles patted him comfortingly on his back. 'Stuff and nonsense, Erik. Calm yourself.'

Then with a martyred sigh, Erik wondered how he was going to possibly survive the next few hours of this festive reception that Charles'... no, their staff had put together. Just like the professor, he was a quiet soul at heart. The one bright spot in the evening was that his father was still feeling well enough after the short civil ceremony to participate, no doubt because of Jean's diligent care. He and Officer Gerard were huddled under a tree in a seemingly intense but enjoyable conversation, away from the more noisome fidgeting of the younger people.

'It won't be that bad,' Charles assured him as they strolled arm in arm down to the rose gardens, while Ashley the cat, ever faithful, trotted contently by their side. 'I hear that Logan and Matt have a nice surprise for us.'

Erik shuddered and then grimaced. He had specifically requested no strippers for his bachelor party but his choice had been summarily dismissed by the two men in question. It didn't feel right to him at all to start off his marriage with a lie. Well he didn't lie, not exactly, unless you consider omitting something a lie. All Charles asked was if he had a nice time.

'I had strippers at my party!' Erik suddenly yelled out, making Charles stumble.

'That's nice,' his husband immediately replied in the confusion of the moment, before Charles actually worked out what the man had said.

The small academic pressed his lips together to keep himself from laughing at Erik's petrified expression, 'I find it ironic that a man who once had a million secrets, can't keep any now.'

'Are you laughing at me?'

'No, not at all my dear' Charles replied, 'But it wasn't really necessary to tell me that. I trust you.'

Erik pulled him off the path for a refreshing little make out session just to say thank you.

'So…how was your party?' he inquired as they now quickened their pace, mindful of their waiting guests.

'It was instructive. For instance, I learnt that one shouldn't accept drinking challenges from your cousin Helen. Hank passed out for the night in the first half hour.

Erik snorted. He could so believe that!

'Thankfully, I didn't fall into that obvious trap. It was a nice party.'

'It was a nice party?' Erik sneered sarcastically. 'Good God, could you be more vague?'

Erik stared incredulously at the side of his husband's face as the silence stretched on, 'You're not going to tell me?'

A slow smile spread across Charles' lips, 'No. I think not. Sometimes a secret, the mystery of not knowing, if handled properly can be extremely alluring.'

Erik growled, not at all pleased by this response, 'I'll make you talk. You won't be having any secrets from me.'

Charles looked positively gleeful. 'Is that a threat?'

'Just you wait until I get you alone again,' Erik replied smiling in returning.

The end.


End file.
